Dimension of Discord (1979)

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Looking around you see a tunnel tall enough to stand in, if you duck. There is also a crawlspace you can slide through, but you can't remember if you're claustrophobic. [[Walk through the tunnel.]] [[Slide through the crawlspace.]]

You walk through the tunnel, ducking slightly so as not to hit your head. The floor is slick with what appears to be water. Flourescent lichen lines the walls, providing a modicum of visibility. You hear a soft scraping and sliding sound somewhere further ahead. [[Continue ahead!]] [[Turn around and walk back.->Damp Cave]]

The crawlspace is pretty tight. You are suddenly regretting whatever it was you ate last. The lichen on the walls glows to illuminate your path. Some of it rubs off on you. [[Continue crawling!]] [[Go back.->Damp Cave 2]]

The sound is louder now as you approach a "T" intersection. The wall directly in front of you seems to sparkle as it reflects light from nearby flourescent lichen. [[Walk to the right.]] [[Walk to the left.]] [[Peek to the right before proceeding.]] [[Peek to the left before proceeding.]]

You awaken in a damp cave with no memory of how you arrived here. This place looks nothing like your home, except, perhaps, for the mildew. [[Look around the damp cave.->Damp Cave]]

You approach a slightly illuminated book shelf.<<if not hasVisited("Take the note and key.")>> Inside a box on the shelf is a note and a strange key.<</if>><<if hasVisited("Take the note and key.")>> On the shelf is an empty box that used to contain a note and key.<</if>> [[Stand still, contemplating the possibility of a trap.]] <<if not hasVisited("Take the note and key.")>>[[Leave the note and key, and walk in the opposite direction.->Walk to the left.]] <</if>><<if not hasVisited("Take the note and key.")>>[[Take the note and key.]] <</if>><<if hasVisited("Take the note and key.")>>[[Hustle back to the damp cave.->Damp cave (Key)]]<</if>>

<<set $msdeath to $msdeath + 1>>The air around you becomes thick. And viscous. And acidic. You have walked into some type of creature and you are engulfed and devoured. Oops. [[YOU HAVE DIED. Turn back time?->previous()]]

Flourescent lichen on the walls illuminate a small bookshelf surprisingly well. You spy a small chest sitting on the book shelf. [[Walk to the right.]] [[Walk to the left.]] [[Peek to the left->Peek to the left before proceeding.]]

It's quite dark. You have a hard time seeing anything, but the sliding sound is louder down this passage. You make out the shape of a flashlight on the floor. [[Walk to the left.]] [[Pick up the flashlight.]] [[Peek to the right.->Peek to the right before proceeding.]] [[Go back to the damp cave.->Damp Cave]]

You pick up the flashlight. [[Turn on the flashlight.]] [[Walk to the left.]]

The flashlight doesn't turn on. You smack it against your hand a few times until it finally lights up. [[Look up.->Look up flashlight]]

<<set $msdeath to $msdeath + 1>>You stand still for a while, contemplating all of the various ways this can be a trap. Upon concluding that it is probably safe, you are engulfed and devoured by an unknown enemy. [[YOU HAVE DIED. Turn back time?->Walk to the right.]]

You have taken the note and strange key. <<set $notedanger to true>> You shove the strange key into your Inventory, conveniently located in the menu bar on the left of your screen. The handwriting on the note is slightly more legible than your doctor's.<<pickup '$inventory' unique '[[Strange key]]'>><<pickup '$inventory' unique '[[Strange note]]'>> [[Walk to the left.]] [[Read the note.]] [[Hustle back to the damp cave.->Damp cave (Key)]]

You struggle to read the handwriting on the note, but eventually figure it out. It reads: ''//"LOOK OUT, IDIOT! THERE IS A MUCILAGINOUS SPHERE IN FRONT OF YOU!"//'' [[Look up.]] [[Re-read the note.]]

<<set $msdeath to $msdeath + 1>>You look up. Oh hey, there is a mucilaginous sphere! That explains the sliding sound! You are quickly engulfed and devoured. [[YOU HAVE DIED. Turn back time?->Walk to the right.]]

<<set $msdeath to $msdeath + 1>>You re-read the note trying to discern its meaning. Unfortunately, you are unable to piece the puzzle together before you are engulfed and devoured by an unknown enemy. [[YOU HAVE DIED. Turn back time?->Walk to the right.]]

<center><h1>DIMENSION OF DISCORD</h1></center> <center><h2><<button[[Play?->Wake up.]]>><</button>></h2></center> <center>© 1979 Obscure Reference Games, LLC</center> <h6>Version $version</h6> <<if hasVisited("Score card!")>> <<set $version to "1.4.8.8">> <<newinventory '$inventory'>> <<newinventory '$equipmentInv'>> <<set $APdeath to 0>> <<set $banditdeath to 0>> <<set $deathbytroll to 0>> <<set $DMdeath to 0>> <<set $DMdeathscore to 0>> <<set $DVdeath to 0>> <<set $envirodeath to 0>> <<set $gatedeath to 0>> <<set $gatedeathscore to 0>> <<set $golemdeath to 0>> <<set $guarddeath to 0>> <<set $LSdeath to 0>> <<set $msdeath to 0>> <<set $newtdeath to 0>> <<set $NPCdeath to 0>> <<set $sleepdeath to 0>> <<set $EnikyDeathMethod to "None">> <<set $tomedeath to false>> <<set $alarmtriggered to false>> <<set $alright to false>> <<set $amputate to false>> <<set $ateDMeds to false>> <<set $bagtype to "Pocket">> <<set $banditfriend to false>> <<set $banditgold to false>> <<set $binarychoice to "Yes.">> <<set $binarycount to 0>> <<set $binarynum to 1>> <<set $binaryroom to 0>> <<set $bookunderchan to false>> <<set $bothdead to false>> <<set $bowtype to "None">> <<set $brokenchan to false>> <<set $buttonColorRight to "Fuchsia">> <<set $buttonPresses to 0>> <<set $cakeowed to 0>> <<set $calm to false>> <<set $canteenempty to false>> <<set $canteenfull to false>> <<set $caughtcupcakes to 0>> <<set $COBook1 to false>> <<set $COBook2 to false>> <<set $cupcakecharity to false>> <<set $cupcakes to 0>> <<set $cupcaketray to 4>> <<set $d20gold to false>> <<set $d20roll to 0>> <<set $deadbandits to false>> <<set $delirious to false>> <<set $dysentery to 0>> <<set $eatencupcakes to 0>> <<set $eatrations to false>> <<set $EnikyAnger to 0>> <<set $EnikyBow to false>> <<set $EnikyDead to false>> <<set $EnikyEscape to false>> <<set $EnikyFreed to false>> <<set $EnikyHoodie to false>> <<set $EnikyLeft to false>> <<set $EnikyName to false>> <<set $EnikyPill to false>> <<set $EnikyShield to false>> <<set $EnikySword to false>> <<set $exhausted to false>> <<set $exhaustion to 0>> <<set $exhaustiontext to "Fresh">> <<set $foundredbutton to false>> <<set $givencupcakes to 0>> <<set $goldtotal to 0>> <<set $golem to false>> <<set $golembad to false>> <<set $golemgood to false>> <<set $golemsmash to 0>> <<set $greenbutton to false>> <<set $hasBow to false>> <<set $hasClosingTome to false>> <<set $hasCOBook to false>> <<set $hasCOreChunk to false>> <<set $hasd20 to false>> <<set $hasDysenteryMeds to false>> <<set $hasEniky to false>> <<set $hasESsack to false>> <<set $hasFancySatchel to false>> <<set $hasGold to false>> <<set $hasHoodie to false>> <<set $hasInvisAmulet to false>> <<set $hasKeyRing to false>> <<set $hasMap to false>> <<set $hasMedallion to false>> <<set $hasQuantumStone to false>> <<set $hasRake to false>> <<set $hasSecretcode to false>> <<set $hasShield to false>> <<set $hasSword to false>> <<set $hasTorch to false>> <<set $hasWaffles to false>> <<set $hasWakingScroll to false>> <<set $heedsign to false>> <<set $ignoresign to false>> <<set $inndice to false>> <<set $killedCC to false>> <<set $killedLandShark to false>> <<set $killedProspector to false>> <<set $leverLeftRoom to "Neutral">> <<set $leverRightLeft to "Neutral">> <<set $leverRightRight to "Neutral">> <<set $lookhoe to false>> <<set $makebreak to false>> <<set $mentalfire to false>> <<set $mentalfireattempt to 0>> <<set $metTroll to false>> <<set $metwaffles to 0>> <<set $nat1 to 0>> <<set $nat1score to 0>> <<set $nat20 to 0>> <<set $nat20score to 0>> <<set $needglasses to true>> <<set $newtdead to false>> <<set $nocount to 0>> <<set $notedanger to false>> <<set $oandeTraderdone to false>> <<set $parcheddead to false>> <<set $parchedwoman to true>> <<set $pillGone to false>> <<set $platinumtotal to 0>> <<set $playername to "None">> <<set $previousno to false>> <<set $previousno2 to false>> <<set $previouspassage to "None">> <<set $ptorchon to false>> <<set $rakeashes to false>> <<set $redbutton to false>> <<set $relationships to false>> <<set $retire to 0>> <<set $score to 0>> <<set $scrollactive to false>> <<set $sealin to false>> <<set $seenbutton to false>> <<set $seenDMeds to false>> <<set $seenposter to 0>> <<set $seenVestibule to false>> <<set $serialkiller to false>> <<set $shieldtype to "None">> <<set $showpoints to true>> <<set $skinnednewt to false>> <<set $standby to false>> <<set $stealattempt to 0>> <<set $stealattemptscore to 0>> <<set $stealnumber to 0>> <<set $stolenitems to 0>> <<set $stolenitemsscore to 0>> <<set $swordtype to "None">> <<set $teasetroll to false>> <<set $tetanus to false>> <<set $traderhungry to true>> <<set $trolldead to false>> <<set $trollgate to false>> <<set $trollgold to false>> <<set $wafflescageopen to false>> <<set $wafflesname to false>> <<set $warnsign to false>> <<set $washere1 to 0>> <<set $westerlinddeadguards to false>> <<set $westerlinddestroyed to false>> <<set $yescount to 0>> <</if>>

You return to the place where you woke up. It looks remarkably the same. [[Walk through the tunnel.]] [[Slide through the crawlspace.]]

You continue crawling until you reach a locked gate. The keyhole is a strange shape. [[Use your key to unlock the gate.]] [[Crawl all the way back, in reverse.->Damp Cave 2]]

You return to the place where you woke up. It looks remarkably the same. <<set $notedanger to false>> [[Walk back through the tunnel, again.->Walk through the tunnel. (Key)]] [[Slide through the crawlspace.->Slide through the crawlspace. (Key)]]

You punch the gate in a frustrated attempt to open it. <<set $gatedeath to $gatedeath + 1>> <<if $gatedeath lte 1>>The gate becomes indignant and it electrocutes you. Why would you do such a thing? <<elseif $gatedeath is 2>>This gate becomes indignant as well, and similarly electrocutes you. Why would you do such a thing again? <<elseif $gatedeath is 3>>As the gate electrocutes you to death, you begin to sense a pattern. <<elseif $gatedeath is 4>>The gates of this world seem to share a propensity for electricity and a disdain for being punched. Perhaps you shouldn’t continue doing this? <<elseif $gatedeath is 5>>The gate, unsurprisingly, electrocutes you to death. Perhaps in your next life you should seek anger management. <<elseif $gatedeath is 6>>The gate does…not electrocute you! However, it does splash you with fast-dissolving acid. Variety! <<elseif $gatedeath is 7>>The gate does not respond. Sheer panic from trying to figure out what the door is plotting causes you to suffer a stroke. <<elseif $gatedeath is 8>>Upon touching the gate you are teleported to the gate dimension. Gates, doors, and portals of all shapes and sizes beat you painfully for what feels like weeks. <<elseif $gatedeath is 9>>The gate parries your attack and impales you with its splinter sword. <<elseif $gatedeath is 10>>The gate is made of fire ants. Millions of fire ants. As you punch this gate, the ants swarm and devour you. <<elseif $gatedeath is 11>>As you assault this gate, a trap-door opens underneath you. You fall for seemingly forever. <<elseif $gatedeath is 12>>The gate opens its gaping maw and devours you with a loud crunch and gulp. <<elseif $gatedeath is 13>>The gate sets you aflame with its mental powers. Cool! <<elseif $gatedeath is 14>>The gate douses you with 12 gallons liquid nitrogen. You are frozen solid. <<elseif $gatedeath is 15>>The gate speaks directly into your mind. " The gates of the world have been made aware of your presence and have named you ‘The One Who Knocks’. You should be keenly aware of any gates, doors, and portals moving forward." While you are stunned by the thought of a psychic gate, it shoots a blow dart into your neck. You wonder if it is pois- <<elseif $gatedeath gte 16>>The gate immediately recognizes you as "The One Who Knocks". It uses forbidden portal magic to transport you to the door dimension. You are slowly and painfully abraded and dissolved by wood chips over a period of 1000 years.<</if>> [[YOU HAVE DIED. Turn back time?->Continue crawling!]]

You don't have a key. [[Force the gate open.]] [[Crawl all the way back, in reverse.->Damp Cave 2]]

You get the feeling you have done this before, except the sliding and scraping sound is much louder. [[Go back.->Damp cave (Key)]] [[Keep walking.->Eaten in tunnel.]]

<<set $msdeath to $msdeath + 1>>Oh hey, there is a mucilaginous sphere! That explains the sliding sound! You are quickly engulfed and devoured. [[YOU HAVE DIED. Turn back time?->Damp cave (Key)]]

The gate unlocks and immediately swings inward, whacking you in the face. You rub your brow and scoot backwards to give yourself some room before pulling it open again. You can now crawl through the gate. <<drop '$inventory' '[[Strange key]]'>> [[Crawl through the gate.]]

You continue crawling until you reach a locked gate. The keyhole is a strange shape. [[Use your key to unlock the gate.->Unlock Gate w/ Key]] [[Force the gate open.->Force gate (Key)]] [[Crawl all the way back, in reverse.->Damp cave (Key)]]

You punch the gate in a frustrated attempt to open it. <<set $gatedeath to $gatedeath + 1>> <<if $gatedeath lte 1>>The gate becomes indignant and it electrocutes you. Why would you do such a thing? <<elseif $gatedeath is 2>>This gate becomes indignant as well, and similarly electrocutes you. Why would you do such a thing again? <<elseif $gatedeath is 3>>As the gate electrocutes you to death, you begin to sense a pattern. <<elseif $gatedeath is 4>>The gates of this world seem to share a propensity for electricity and a disdain for being punched. Perhaps you shouldn’t continue doing this? <<elseif $gatedeath is 5>>The gate, unsurprisingly, electrocutes you to death. Perhaps in your next life you should seek anger management. <<elseif $gatedeath is 6>>The gate does…not electrocute you! However, it does splash you with fast-dissolving acid. Variety! <<elseif $gatedeath is 7>>The gate does not respond. Sheer panic from trying to figure out what the door is plotting causes you to suffer a stroke. <<elseif $gatedeath is 8>>Upon touching the gate you are teleported to the gate dimension. Gates, doors, and portals of all shapes and sizes beat you painfully for what feels like weeks. <<elseif $gatedeath is 9>>The gate parries your attack and impales you with its splinter sword. <<elseif $gatedeath is 10>>The gate is made of fire ants. Millions of fire ants. As you punch this gate, the ants swarm and devour you. <<elseif $gatedeath is 11>>As you assault this gate, a trap-door opens underneath you. You fall for seemingly forever. <<elseif $gatedeath is 12>>The gate opens its gaping maw and devours you with a loud crunch and gulp. <<elseif $gatedeath is 13>>The gate sets you aflame with its mental powers. Cool! <<elseif $gatedeath is 14>>The gate douses you with 12 gallons liquid nitrogen. You are frozen solid. <<elseif $gatedeath is 15>>The gate speaks directly into your mind. " The gates of the world have been made aware of your presence and have named you ‘The One Who Knocks’. You should be keenly aware of any gates, doors, and portals moving forward." While you are stunned by the thought of a psychic gate, it shoots a blow dart into your neck. You wonder if it is pois- <<elseif $gatedeath gte 16>>The gate immediately recognizes you as "The One Who Knocks". It uses forbidden portal magic to transport you to the door dimension. You are slowly and painfully abraded and dissolved by wood chips over a period of 1000 years.<</if>> [[YOU HAVE DIED. Turn back time?->Continue Crawling (key)]]

You crawl through the gate. You emerge in a room about as large as your local Betamax rental place. The flourescent lichen on your clothing glows bright enough to make out the lay of the room. There are some pretty old remnants of a fire pit in the center of the floor, and you think you can easily get a fire going. [[Look around.]]

<<set $msdeath to $msdeath + 1>>You look up. Oh hey, there is a Mucilaginous Sphere! That explains the sliding sound! The bad news is that you are quickly engulfed and devoured. The good news is that you have light to see yourself being quickly engulfed and devoured! [[YOU HAVE DIED. Turn back time?->Continue ahead!]]

You fail to make a campfire. You think that your inner monologue should stop overestimating your skills. [[Look around.]]

The room is larger than you'd expect for a cave. Spacious even. You smell fresher air here, coming from one of the tunnels ahead of you. Aside from the dead campfire, the floor appears miraculously well swept up. <<if visited("Look around.") lte 1>> Aside from the gate you crawled through, there are two tunnels leading from the room. Fortunately both are large enough to stand in.<</if>> <<if not hasVisited("Make a campfire.")>><<if not hasVisited("Gather some flint & tinder.")>> If you gather some flint & tinder, you think you should be able to start a fire.<</if>><</if>> <<if not hasVisited("Make a campfire.")>><<if not hasVisited("Gather some flint & tinder.")>>[[Gather some flint & tinder.]]<</if>><</if>> [[Walk to the slight left path.]] [[Walk to the slight right path.]]

You attempt to gather some flint & tinder from the well-swept floor, but fail to make any materialize in the room. Oh well, it's not well ventilated in here anyway. You consider that you may be able to will a fire into existence. <<link[[Attempt to make a fire with your mental powers.->Make a campfire.]]>><<set $mentalfire to true>><<set $mentalfireattempt to $mentalfireattempt +1>><</link>> [[Walk to the slight right path.]] [[Walk to the slight left path.]]

You walk to the slight right path. The air smells fresher going in this direction. After a few minutes of walking, you hear a grunting sound, but it still sounds pretty far away. [[Look around.->Look Around 2]] [[Press on.]] [[Return to the dead campfire.]] <<set $metTroll to false>>

You walk slightly to the left. Everything in this place is damp. This tunnel is no exception, but it's also getting warmer. After walking for approximately 2 minutes, you come to a solid wooden door. There is a keyhole above the handle. [[Search for a key.]] [[Back away slowly.->Return to the dead campfire.]] [[Turn the doorknob.]] [[Punch the door open.]] [[Kick the door open.]]

You can't find a key. Perhaps it's underneath this doormat that you didn't previously notice? [[Search under the doormat.->Search under the doormat.]]

You punch the door in an ill-advised attempt to open it. <<set $gatedeath to $gatedeath + 1>> <<if $gatedeath lte 1>>The door becomes indignant and it electrocutes you. Why would you do such a thing? <<elseif $gatedeath is 2>>This door becomes indignant as well, and similarly electrocutes you. Why would you do such a thing again? <<elseif $gatedeath is 3>>As the door electrocutes you to death, you begin to sense a pattern. <<elseif $gatedeath is 4>>The doors of this world seem to share a propensity for electricity and a disdain for being punched. Perhaps you shouldn’t continue doing this? <<elseif $gatedeath is 5>>The door, unsurprisingly, electrocutes you to death. Perhaps in your next life you should seek anger management. <<elseif $gatedeath is 6>>The door does…not electrocute you! However, it does splash you with fast-dissolving acid. Variety! <<elseif $gatedeath is 7>>The door does not respond. Sheer panic from trying to figure out what the door is plotting causes you to suffer a stroke. <<elseif $gatedeath is 8>>Upon touching the door you are teleported to the door dimension. Gates, doors, and portals of all shapes and sizes beat you painfully for what feels like weeks. <<elseif $gatedeath is 9>>The door parries your attack and impales you with its splinter sword. <<elseif $gatedeath is 10>>The door is made of fire ants. Millions of fire ants. As you punch this door, the ants swarm and devour you. <<elseif $gatedeath is 11>>As you assault this door, a trap-door opens underneath you. You fall for seemingly forever. <<elseif $gatedeath is 12>>The door opens its gaping maw and devours you with a loud crunch and gulp. <<elseif $gatedeath is 13>>The door sets you aflame with its mental powers. Cool! <<elseif $gatedeath is 14>>The door douses you with 12 gallons liquid nitrogen. You are frozen solid. <<elseif $gatedeath is 15>>The door speaks directly into your mind. " The doors of the world have been made aware of your presence and have named you ‘The One Who Knocks’. You should be keenly aware of any gates, doors, and portals moving forward." While you are stunned by the thought of a psychic door, it shoots a blow dart into your neck. You wonder if it is pois- <<elseif $gatedeath gte 16>>The door immediately recognizes you as "The One Who Knocks". It uses forbidden portal magic to transport you to the door dimension. You are slowly and painfully abraded and dissolved by wood chips over a period of 1000 years.<</if>> [[YOU HAVE DIED. Turn back time?->Walk to the slight left path.]]

<<if $gatedeath gte 6>><<set $gatedeath to $gatedeath + 1>><</if>><<if $gatedeath lte 5>>For some reason, you are compelled to violently kick the door with your rubber-soled sneakers. The door says //"Ow."// and you hear a crackling sound. [[Search for a key.]] [[Back away slowly.->Return to the dead campfire.]] [[Turn the doorknob.]] [[Punch the door open.]] <<elseif $gatedeath gt 6>> You violently kick the gate. <<if $gatedeath is 6>>The door does…not electrocute you! However, it does splash you with fast-dissolving acid. Variety! <<elseif $gatedeath is 7>>The door does not respond. Sheer panic from trying to figure out what the door is plotting causes you to suffer a stroke. <<elseif $gatedeath is 8>>Upon kicking the door you are teleported to the door dimension. Gates, doors, and portals of all shapes and sizes beat you painfully for what feels like weeks. <<elseif $gatedeath is 9>>The door parries your attack and impales you with its splinter sword. <<elseif $gatedeath is 10>>The door is made of fire ants. Millions of fire ants. As you kick this door, the ants swarm and devour you. <<elseif $gatedeath is 11>>As you assault this door, a trap-door opens underneath you. You fall for seemingly forever. <<elseif $gatedeath is 12>>The door opens its gaping maw and devours you with a loud crunch and gulp. <<elseif $gatedeath is 13>>The door sets you aflame with its mental powers. Cool! <<elseif $gatedeath is 14>>The door douses you with 12 gallons liquid nitrogen. You are frozen solid. <<elseif $gatedeath is 15>>The door speaks directly into your mind. " The gates of the world have been made aware of your presence and have named you ‘The One Who Knocks’. You should be keenly aware of any gates, doors, and portals moving forward." While you are stunned by the thought of a psychic door, it shoots a blow dart into your neck. You wonder if it is pois- <<elseif $gatedeath gte 16>>The door immediately recognizes you as "The One Who Knocks". It uses forbidden portal magic to transport you to the door dimension. You are slowly and painfully abraded and dissolved by wood chips over a period of 1000 years.<</if>> [[YOU HAVE DIED. Turn back time?->Walk to the slight left path.]]<</if>>

You lift up the doormat. You don't find a key, but you do find some mold, insects, and interesting smells. You put the doormat back down. [[Back away slowly.->Return to the dead campfire.]] [[Turn the doorknob.]] [[Punch the door open.]] [[Kick the door open.]]

You turn the doorknob. Fancy that...it was unlocked! The door opens easily. [[Peek inside.]] [[Walk inside.]] [[Back away slowly.->Return to the dead campfire.]]

You walk inside the room. It smells like oatmeal. There is a half-open door ahead of you with a tattered set of clothes near it. To the left is a two-way mirror looking into a strangely familar tunnel. To the right is a table and chairs. There is a bowl of oatmeal with a spoon sticking out of it sitting on the table. [[Investigate the two-way mirror.]] [[Investigate the tattered pile of clothes.]] [[Investigate the table.]] [[Walk through the half-open door into a tunnel.]] [[Return to the dead campfire.]]

You peek inside the room. It's a medium-sized room with a large two-way mirror on the left wall. You see a pile of tattered clothes near a half-open door directly across the room from you. You see a chair near a table with a bowl on top. [[Walk inside.]] [[Back away slowly.->Look around.]]

You backtrack to the dead campfire. [[Look around.]]

You investigate the two-way mirror. You can see with surprising clarity into a dark tunnel. There is a bookshelf to the left of your view. A flashlight sits on the floor to the right of your view. Directly ahead is a tunnel leading off in the distance. There is some writing on the wall next to the mirror. [[Read the writing on the wall.]] [[Investigate the tattered pile of clothes.]] [[Investigate the table.]] [[Walk through the half-open door into a tunnel.]] [[Return to the dead campfire.]]

You investigate the tattered pile of clothes. The tattered clothes are worn by a nearly complete skeleton. There is a pair of spectacles as well. It's entirely coated in a viscous liquid. [[Touch the viscous liquid.]] [[Investigate the two-way mirror.]] [[Investigate the table.]] [[Walk through the half-open door into a tunnel.]] [[Return to the dead campfire.]]

You investigate the table. There is an aged bowl of oatmeal which has long ago turned into glue, but you can still tell that it is "original" flavor. There is a to-do list on the table written in an insufferably posh font. <<if not hasVisited("Eat some of the Oatmeal.")>>[[Eat some of the Oatmeal.]]<</if>> <<if not hasVisited("Move the bowl of oatmeal.")>>[[Move the bowl of oatmeal.]]<</if>><<if $foundredbutton is true>><<if $redbutton is false>>[[Press the red button.]]<</if>><</if>> [[Read the note.->Read Note 2]] [[Investigate the two-way mirror.]] [[Investigate the tattered pile of clothes.]] [[Walk through the half-open door into a tunnel.]] [[Return to the dead campfire.]]

You read the writing on the wall. It's written in cursive, in a style that screams //I'm smarter than you//. It reads: <ul> <li>''//"Mucilaginous Sphere: 42"//''</li> <li>''//"Unwitting adventurers at the start of their journey: 0"//''</li></ul> Slightly lower down on the wall, in much messier writing you see: <ul> <li>''//"Musalajenis Sfeer + 1"//''</li></ul> It appears to be covered in a viscous liquid. [[Touch the viscous liquid.]] [[Investigate the tattered pile of clothes.]] [[Investigate the table.]] [[Walk through the half-open door into a tunnel.]] [[Return to the dead campfire.]]

You read the note, while constantly rolling your eyes at how precise and pretty the handwriting is: <center>''//To-Do://''</center><ul> <li>''//Pick up more oatmeal, preferably not "original" flavor.//''</li> <li>''//Design a form of long term communication that will eventually be used while driving.//'' </li> <li>''//Install a new Mucilaginous Sphere-proof door.//''</li> <li>''//Figure out how the Mucilaginous Sphere is opening doors...It doesn't have hands!//''</li></ul> <<if not hasVisited("Move the bowl of oatmeal.")>>[[Move the bowl of oatmeal.]]<</if>><<if $foundredbutton is true>><<if $redbutton is false>>[[Press the red button.]]<</if>><</if>> [[Investigate the two-way mirror.]] [[Investigate the tattered pile of clothes.]] [[Walk through the half-open door into a tunnel.]] [[Return to the dead campfire.]]

<<set $msdeath to $msdeath + 1>>You touch the viscous liquid. Your fingers dissolve almost immediately. The shock of this sends you into cardiac arrest. [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?->Read the writing on the wall.]]

You walk through the half-open door into a tunnel. You follow the path around to the left. You see a bookshelf with a box sitting on it in the distance. For some reason, it looks distorted, as if you are looking through water, or some other viscous liquid. [[Walk toward the bookshelf.]] [[Return to the previous room.]]

<<set $msdeath to $msdeath + 1>>You walk toward the bookshelf. The air around you becomes thick. And viscous. And acidic. You are engulfed and devoured by the Mucilaginous Sphere that you've just walked into. Oops. [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?->Walk inside.]]

<<set $msdeath to $msdeath + 1>>You attempt to return to the previous room. However, you learn that Mucilaginous Spheres are deceptively fast. You are engulfed, dissolved, and eaten. [[YOU HAVE DIED. Turn back time?->Walk inside.]]

You move the bowl of oatmeal. What compelled you to do that? Regardless, you find a red button underneath the bowl.<<set $foundredbutton to true>> [[Press the red button.]] [[Read the note.->Read Note 2]] [[Investigate the two-way mirror.]] [[Investigate the tattered pile of clothes.]] [[Walk through the half-open door into a tunnel.]] [[Return to the dead campfire.]]

You press the red button until it descends into the table. You hear a click somewhere. <<set $trollgate to true>><<set $redbutton to true>> [[Read the note.->Read Note 2]]<<if not hasVisited("Eat some of the Oatmeal.")>> [[Eat some of the Oatmeal.]]<</if>> [[Investigate the two-way mirror.]] [[Investigate the tattered pile of clothes.]] [[Walk through the half-open door into a tunnel.]] [[Return to the dead campfire.]]

You call out to anyone who may be in the alcove.<<set $metTroll to true>> A large, humanoid creature lumbers out of the alcove and stands in front of the gate. It looks at you quizzically. [[Say "hello".]] [[Ask to pass through the gate.]] [[Bang on the thick-barred gate.]] [[Wave goodbye and leave.->Return to the dead campfire.]] <<if $hasGold is true>>[[Show it your satchel.]]<</if>>

You look around. There is some writing on the floor in front of you. You can make out an alcove ahead on the left-side of the wall. [[Press on.]] [[Search the alcove.]] [[Read the writing on the ground.]]

You press on. <<if not hasVisited("Press the red button.")>>There is a large thick-barred gate blocking your progress.<</if>> <<if hasVisited("Press the red button.")>> There is a large, thick-barred gate covering an alcove to the right. It looks as if it was recently blocking your progress, but has since moved.<</if>> <<if not hasVisited("Press the red button.")>> [[Bang on the thick-barred gate.]]<</if>><<if hasVisited("Press the red button.")>> [[Look into the gate covered alcove.]]<</if>><<if not hasVisited("Press the red button.")>> [[Look through the bars of the gate.]]<</if>><<if not hasVisited("Press the red button.")>> [[Return to the dead campfire.]]<</if>><<if hasVisited("Press the red button.")>> [[Return to the dead campfire.]]<</if>>

You read the writing on the ground. It looks as if it has been written in blood. Or red paint. Or ketchup. <ul> <li>''//Franklin was here//''</li></ul> Fascinating. There is something else written nearby in smaller writing. [[Read the smaller writing.]] [[Press on.]]

You search the alcove in the left wall. <<if not hasVisited("Take the satchel with you.")>>You find a medium-sized leather satchel tied shut with twine. It looks full.<</if>><<if hasVisited("Take the satchel with you.")>>There is nothing here.<</if>> <<if not hasVisited("Take the satchel with you.")>>[[Open the satchel.]]<</if>> <<if not hasVisited("Take the satchel with you.")>>[[Pick up the satchel.]]<</if>> [[Stand still, contemplating the possibility of a trap.->Not a trap.]] [[Press on.]] [[Return to the dead campfire.]]

You read the smaller writing on the ground. ''"You will definitely never need to remember the following combination of runes: //'X,Y,Z,Z,Y'//. Feel free to move on."'' Seems like sage advice. The disclaimer is a bit odd, though. What's this? It looks like there is even smaller writing nearby! <<set $hasSecretcode to true>> [[Read the even smaller writing.]] [[Press on.]]

You search the immediate area, and sure enough, you find something scrawled on the stone wall nearby. It's written so small, it's a wonder you managed to find it at all! It reads: ''"If you can read this, you do not need glasses."'' Well, that is a relief.<<set $needglasses to false>> [[Press on.]]<<if $greenbutton is false>> [[Press the green button.]]<</if>>

You read the even smaller writing. It says: ''"Watch for falling rocks."'' There is a small green button beneath the words, blending in with the lichen. [[Press the green button.]] [[Look for more writing.]] [[Press on.]]

<<set $envirodeath to $envirodeath + 1>><<set $greenbutton to true>>You press the green button. You glance up and see a chute open above your head. It drops a small boulder on your face. It turns out that warnings are there for a reason! [[YOU HAVE DIED. Turn back time?->Look Around 2]]

You stand still for a while, contemplating all of the various ways this can be a trap. You are fairly certain it is not a trap. <<if not hasVisited("Take the satchel with you.")>>[[Open the satchel.]]<</if>> <<if not hasVisited("Take the satchel with you.")>>[[Pick up the satchel.]]<</if>> [[Press on.]] [[Return to the dead campfire.]]

You untie the twine and open the satchel. It is filled to the brim with gold coins. Neat! [[Tie it back up and take it with you.->Take the satchel with you.]] [[Leave the satchel where you found it.]]

You pick up the satchel. It's quite heavy. [[Open the satchel.]] [[Take the satchel with you.]] [[Leave the satchel where you found it.]] [[Press on.]] [[Return to the dead campfire.]]

You gently place the satchel back where you found it. [[Look around.->Look Around 2]]

You take the satchel with you.<<set $hasGold to true>><<set $goldtotal to 1>> You tie the satchel to your belt. Your pants feel like they are being pulled down. [[Look Around.->Look Around 2]]

You look through the bars of the gate. Just past the gate, on the right side of the wall, there is an alcove. You see dancing light coming from the alcove as if there is a fire inside. Maybe someone is in there? <<if $metTroll is false>>[[Call out to anyone in the alcove.]]<</if>><<if $metTroll is true>>[[Call out to the troll.]]<</if>> [[Bang on the thick-barred gate.]] [[Return to the dead campfire.]]

You slam your fists against the gate in an exasperated attempt to open it. <<set $gatedeath to $gatedeath + 1>> <<if $gatedeath lte 1>>The gate becomes indignant and it electrocutes you. Why would you do such a thing? <<elseif $gatedeath is 2>>This gate becomes indignant as well, and similarly electrocutes you. Why would you do such a thing again? <<elseif $gatedeath is 3>>As the gate electrocutes you to death, you begin to sense a pattern. <<elseif $gatedeath is 4>>The gates of this world seem to share a propensity for electricity and a disdain for being punched. Perhaps you shouldn’t continue doing this? <<elseif $gatedeath is 5>>The gate, unsurprisingly, electrocutes you to death. Perhaps in your next life you should seek anger management. <<elseif $gatedeath is 6>>The gate does…not electrocute you! However, it does splash you with fast-dissolving acid. Variety! <<elseif $gatedeath is 7>>The gate does not respond. Sheer panic from trying to figure out what the door is plotting causes you to suffer a stroke. <<elseif $gatedeath is 8>>Upon touching the gate you are teleported to the gate dimension. Gates, doors, and portals of all shapes and sizes beat you painfully for what feels like weeks. <<elseif $gatedeath is 9>>The gate parries your attack and impales you with its splinter sword. <<elseif $gatedeath is 10>>The gate is made of fire ants. Millions of fire ants. As you punch this gate, the ants swarm and devour you. <<elseif $gatedeath is 11>>As you assault this gate, a trap-door opens underneath you. You fall for seemingly forever. <<elseif $gatedeath is 12>>The gate opens its gaping maw and devours you with a loud crunch and gulp. <<elseif $gatedeath is 13>>The gate sets you aflame with its mental powers. Cool! <<elseif $gatedeath is 14>>The gate douses you with 12 gallons liquid nitrogen. You are frozen solid. <<elseif $gatedeath is 15>>The gate speaks directly into your mind. " The gates of the world have been made aware of your presence and have named you ‘The One Who Knocks’. You should be keenly aware of any gates, doors, and portals moving forward." While you are stunned by the thought of a psychic gate, it shoots a blow dart into your neck. You wonder if it is pois- <<elseif $gatedeath gte 16>>The gate immediately recognizes you as "The One Who Knocks". It uses forbidden portal magic to transport you to the door dimension. You are slowly and painfully abraded and dissolved by wood chips over a period of 1000 years.<</if>> [[YOU HAVE DIED. Turn back time?->Press on.]]

You look into the gate covered alcove. <<if not hasVisited("Call out to anyone in the alcove.")>>You see a troll inside.<</if>><<if hasVisited("Call out to anyone in the alcove.")>>The Toll Troll seems to be locked inside.<</if>> It looks very saddened to be trapped inside this alcove. Sulking, it asks: "Have you come to tease the Toll Troll?" [[Tease the trapped Toll Troll.]] [[Wave goodbye and continue toward fresh air.|Continue forward toward fresh air.]] [[Bang on the thick-barred gate.]] <<if hasVisited("Take the satchel with you.")>>[[Show it your satchel.]] <</if>>[[Return to the dead campfire.]]

You say "hello" to the large humanoid creature. It smiles at you, waves, and says "hello" in a booming voice. [[Ask to pass through the gate.]] [[Bang on the thick-barred gate.]] <<if hasVisited("Take the satchel with you.")>>[[Show it your satchel.]] <</if>>[[Wave goodbye and leave.->Return to the dead campfire.]]

You ask to pass through the gate. Stoically, in a booming voice, the creature responds: "I am the Toll Troll. Pay the toll, and I the Troll, will let you through." It sounds far more eloquent than you'd expect from a troll. Perhaps you shouldn't be so close-minded. [[Ask what the toll is.]] [[Bang on the thick-barred gate.]] <<if hasVisited("Take the satchel with you.")>>[[Show it your satchel.]]<</if>>

You show the Toll Troll your Big Ol' Bag o' Gold. The Toll Troll's eyes light up. "Yup, that'll do." It stretches it's hand out in a motion for you to give it your satchel. [[Give your satchel to the Toll Troll.]] [[Keep your satchel, greedily.]]

You ask what the toll might be. The troll attempts to look humble. "I am not a greedy troll, all I ask for your toll, is simply a big ol' bag o' gol.........d" Maybe we spoke too soon about the eloquence. [[Bang on the thick-barred gate.]] <<if hasVisited("Take the satchel with you.")>>[[Show it your satchel.]] <</if>>[[Wave goodbye and leave.->Return to the dead campfire.]]

You reach though the bars and hand your satchel to the Toll Troll. <<set $trollgold to true>><<set $hasGold to false>><<set $goldtotal to 0>><<set $seenbutton to true>> It looks elated! The Toll Troll reaches up to the ceiling and presses a button. The gate swings inward toward the Toll Troll, closing off its alcove, but granting you passage. [[Squeeze past the Toll Troll and walk on.]] [[Punch the Toll Troll.]] [[Steal back your satchel.]]

You tie the satchel back on your belt and stick out your tongue at the Toll Troll. It looks deeply saddened and wordlessly slinks back into its alcove. Nicely done. [[Return to the dead campfire.]]

You call out to the troll. <<if hasVisited("Keep your satchel greedily.")>>You hear the troll whimpering, then blowing it's nose quickly.<</if>> The troll lumbers out of it's cave. <<if hasVisited("Keep your satchel greedily.")>>It looks like it's been sobbing.<</if>>. "You're back." <<if hasVisited("Take the satchel with you.")>>[[Show it your satchel.]]<</if>> [[Bang on the thick-barred gate.]] [[Wave goodbye and leave.->Return to the dead campfire.]]

You squeeze past the Toll Troll and walk on. After 5 minutes of walking, you see the light at the end of the tunnel. You've finally reached the mouth of the tunnel! You are greeted by a beautiful sunset and a pastel sky. You are also greeted by a gang of Bandits. They have definitely noticed you. [[Awkwardly wave "hello".]] [[Ask what they want.]] [[Run back into the tunnel.]] [[Run into the wilderness.]]

You punch the Toll Troll as hard as you can. The Toll Troll blinks at you, confusedly. [[Punch it again.]] [[Squeeze past the Toll Troll and walk on.]]

<<set $deathbytroll to $deathbytroll + 1>>You attempt to steal back your satchel from the Toll Troll. The Toll Troll grabs you by the head and squeezes until your skull caves in. [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?->Show it your satchel.]]

<<set $deathbytroll to $deathbytroll + 1>><<set $trollgold to false>><<set $hasGold to true>><<set $goldtotal to 1>>You punch the Toll Troll as hard as you can, again. The Toll Troll is now angry. It grabs you by the torso and slams your face into the gate repeatedly. The gate electrocutes you for good measure. [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?->Show it your satchel.]]

You awkwardly wave "hello". They awkwardly wave back. [[Ask what they want.]] [[Run back into the tunnel.]] [[Run into the wilderness.]]

You ask them what they want. The apparent leader of the Bandits replies: "Greetings! I am Ray Diamond, but you may call me the Bandit King! I am known for two things: taking Big Ol' Bags O' Gold, and stabbing people in the throat! Anyone who leaves that tunnel must pay our bandit toll! The aformentioned Big Ol' Bag o' Gold ought to do." You can't imagine this is a very lucrative business model for them. <<if $hasGold is true>> [[Give your satchel to the Bandit King.]]<</if>> [[Tell them you don't have a Big Ol' Bag o' Gold.]] [["Is your name really Ray Diamond?"]] [[Run back into the tunnel.]] [[Run into the wilderness.]]

<<set $banditdeath to $banditdeath + 1>>You attempt to run back into the tunnel. The moment you turn your back, you are shot full of arrows. Oops. [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?->Squeeze past the Toll Troll and walk on.]]

<<set $banditdeath to $banditdeath + 1>>You attempt to run back into the wilderness. The moment you start running, you are shot full of arrows. Oops. [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?->Squeeze past the Toll Troll and walk on.]]

You tell the Bandit King that you don't have a Big Ol' Bag o' Gold. He sighs. "Well then, I guess you have to die." [["Fair is fair, I suppose."]] [["Wait! Can't we work out a deal?"]] <<if $hasGold is true>>"[["Okay, I lied. Here is my Big Ol' Bag o' Gold."|Give your satchel to the Bandit King.]]"<</if>>

You give your satchel to the Bandits King. <<set $hasGold to false>><<set $goldtotal to 0>><<set $banditgold to true>> The Bandit King looks surprised. He says: "Wow. That actually worked? Alright, well I guess...you...can...go?" He looks around at the other Bandits seeking confirmation. The other Bandits mumble in acknowledgement. He looks back to you and nods. [["Thank you so much! I'll be on my way now..."]] [["What will you do now?"]] [["May I have a weapon before I go?"]] [[Walk away silently.]]

You show the Toll Troll your satchel. The Toll Troll's eyes light up. "Give that to me, please!" It stretches it's hand out in a motion for you to give it your satchel. [[Give your satchel to the Toll Troll.->Give your satchel to the Toll Troll.2]] [[Keep your satchel, greedily.->Keep your satchel, greedily.2]] [[Tease the trapped Toll Troll.]]

You give your satchel to the Toll Troll. <<set $trollgold to true>><<set $hasGold to false>><<set $goldtotal to 0>> It looks very pleased. It immediately pours out the gold and begins playing with the pieces. You feel very good about yourself. [[Wave goodbye and continue forward toward fresh air.->Continue forward toward fresh air.]] [[Reach through the bars and punch the troll.]] [[Steal back your satchel.->Steal Satchel2]] [[Tease the trapped Toll Troll.]]

<<set $trollgold to false>>You tie the satchel back on your belt and stick out your tongue at the Toll Troll. It looks deeply saddened and wordlessly slinks even deeper into its alcove. Very nicely done. [[Continue forward toward fresh air.]]

You continue forward toward the scent of fresh air. After 5 minutes of walking, you see the light at the end of the tunnel. You've finally reached the mouth of the tunnel! You are greeted by a beautiful sunset and a pastel sky. You are also greeted by a gang of bandits. They have definitely noticed you. [[Awkwardly wave "hello".]] [[Ask what they want.]] [[Run back into the tunnel.]] [[Run into the wilderness.]]

You punch the Toll Troll as hard as you can. The Toll Troll blinks at you, confusedly. [[Punch it again.->Punch2]] [[Continue forward toward fresh air.]]

<<set $deathbytroll to $deathbytroll + 1>>You punch the Toll Troll as hard as you can, again. The Toll Troll is now angry. It reaches through the bars, grabs you by the torso, and slams your face into the gate repeatedly. The gate electrocutes you for good measure. [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?->Show Satchel2]]

<<set $deathbytroll to $deathbytroll + 1>>You strangely attempt to steal back your satchel from the Toll Troll. The Toll Troll reaches through the bars, grabs you by the head, and squeezes until your skull caves in. [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?->Show Satchel2]]

You plead for your life. The Bandit King contemplates your request. "A deal? What kind of a deal?" [[Surprise attack!]] [["I can join you!"]] [["I know where to find a Big Ol' Bag o' Gold, and I can lead you there!"]]

<<set $banditdeath to $banditdeath + 1>>You weigh the merits of the Bandit Leader's argument and find it to be fair. You are shot full of arrows. [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?->Ask what they want.]]

You politely thank the bandits for sparing your life and look off toward a high summit to the East. It looks as good a place as any to set up camp.<<set $exhaustion to $exhaustion +1>> [[Trek to the high summit.]]

You ask the Bandits what their long-term plans are. The Bandit King pauses before responding. "Well, I hadn't really thought 'bout that. As the Bandit King, I've lead my gang to the mouth of this tunnel to ambush would-be adventurers as they leave! Well, actually, it's just been you so far." [["That doesn't sound very lucrative."]] [["Thank you so much! I'll be on my way now..."]] [[..."Brilliant. May I have a weapon before I go?"->"May I have a weapon before I go?"]] [[Walk away silently.]]

You decide to press your luck and ask for a weapon<<if not hasVisited("Lead them to the troll.")>> before you leave<</if>>. Dumbfounded, the Bandit King responds: "Erm...sure? <<if hasVisited("Give your satchel to the Bandit King.")>> I guess you did give us a Big Ol' Bag o' Gold."<</if>><<if not hasVisited("Give your satchel to the Bandit King.")>> I guess you are about to lead us to a troll."<</if>> We've got a spare Sword o' Tetanus and a Bow o' Questionable Durability that used to belong to Brent until he died o' dysentery. You can have one o' those." [[Pick the Sword of Tetanus.]] [[Pick the Bow of Questionable Durability.]]

You walk off into the wilderness without another word spoken. Really, that's awfully rude.<<set $exhaustion to $exhaustion +1>> You look off toward a high summit to the East. It looks as good a place as any to set up camp. [[Trek to the high summit.]]

You appeal to the Bandit King's greed. "There is a troll inside those tunnels that has at least one Big Ol' Bag o' Gold, or even more!" The Bandit King contemplates your offer. He looks around to his colleagues before saying: "Very well. Lead us to this troll!" [[Lead them to the troll.]] [[Surprise attack!]]

<<set $banditdeath to $banditdeath + 1>>You offer to join the bandits. "No deal." You are shot full of arrows. [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?->Ask what they want.]]

<<set $banditdeath to $banditdeath + 1>>You attempt to attack the Bandit King with your bare hands. Kudos! You manage to land one punch before you are shot full of arrows. [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?->Ask what they want.]]

You agree to lead them to the troll. You turn and look into the tunnel. [[Ask for a weapon before entering.->"May I have a weapon before I go?"]] [[Begin walking into the tunnel.]]

<<if $makebreak is false and $calm is false>><<if not hasVisited("Pick the Bow of Questionable Durability.")>>You find a long sword caked in rust. Beautiful. <<set $hasSword to true>><<set $swordtype to "Sword of Tetanus">><</if>><<if hasVisited("Pick the Bow of Questionable Durability.")>>You assume that since you already have the Bow of Questionable Durability, you should probably leave the Sword of Tetanus.<</if>> It feels at home in your hands, but doesn't look very dangerous at all.<<pickup '$equipmentInv' unique '[[Sword of Tetanus]]'>> [[Poke yourself with the Sword of Tetanus.]] <<if hasVisited("Lead them to the troll.")>>[[Begin walking into the tunnel.]] <</if>><<if not hasVisited("Lead them to the troll.")>>[["Thank you so much! I'll be on my way now..."]]<</if>><</if>><<if $makebreak is true or $calm is true>><<if not hasVisited("Pick the Bow of Questionable Durability.")>>You find a long sword caked in rust. Beautiful.<<set $hasSword to true>><<set $swordtype to "Sword of Tetanus">><</if>><<if hasVisited("Pick the Bow of Questionable Durability.")>>You assume that since you already have the Bow of Questionable Durability, you should probably leave the Sword of Tetanus.<</if>> It feels at home in your hands, but doesn't look very dangerous at all.<<pickup '$equipmentInv' unique '[[Sword of Tetanus]]'>> [[Poke yourself with the Sword of Tetanus.]] <<if hasVisited("Lead them to the troll.")>>[[Trek to the high summit.]] <</if>><<if not hasVisited("Lead them to the troll.")>>[[Trek to the high summit.]]<</if>><</if>>

You cause them to question their business model. There are mumbles of unrest amongst the Bandits. The Ray Diamond looks nervous. [["Thank you so much! I'll be on my way now..."]] [["May I have a weapon before I go?"]] [["I know where to find a Big Ol' Bag o' Gold, and I can lead you there!"]] [[Walk away silently.]]

You reach for the Bow of Questionable Durability. <<if $makebreak is false and $calm is false>><<if not hasVisited("Pick the Sword of Tetanus.")>>You find a very old bow that looks like it may break at any second. Beautiful. There is a quiver filled with arrows next to it. <<set $hasBow to true>><<set $bowtype to "Bow of Questionable Durability">><</if>><<if hasVisited("Pick the Sword of Tetanus.")>>You assume that since you already have the Sword of Tetanus, you should probably leave the Bow of Questionable Durability. <</if>> It feels at home in your hands, but does not seem to be very durable. You strap the quiver to your belt and the bow to your back.<<pickup '$equipmentInv' unique '[[Bow of Questionable Durability]]'>> [[Attempt to break the Bow of Questionable Durability.]] <<if hasVisited("Lead them to the troll.")>>[[Begin walking into the tunnel.]] <</if>><<if not hasVisited("Lead them to the troll.")>>[["Thank you so much! I'll be on my way now..."]] <</if>><</if>><<if $makebreak is true or $calm is true>><<if not hasVisited("Pick the Sword of Tetanus.")>>You find a very old bow that looks like it may break at any second. Beautiful. There is a quiver filled with arrows next to it.<<set $hasBow to true>><<set $bowtype to "Bow of Questionable Durability">><</if>><<if hasVisited("Pick the Sword of Tetanus.")>>You assume that since you already have the Sword of Tetanus, you should probably leave the Bow of Questionable Durability. <</if>> It feels at home in your hands, but does not seem to be very durable.<<pickup '$equipmentInv' unique '[[Bow of Questionable Durability]]'>> [[Attempt to break the Bow of Questionable Durability.]] <<if hasVisited("Lead them to the troll.")>>[[Trek to the high summit.]] <</if>><<if not hasVisited("Lead them to the troll.")>>[[Trek to the high summit.]]<</if>><</if>>

You lead the gang of Bandits back into the tunnels. The Bandit King slides up next to you and in a loud whisper states: "You'd better not double-cross me." He smirks at you. [[Double-cross him immediately.]] [[Continue walking.]]

You make up your mind to double-cross the Bandit King. [[Punch him and run!->Doublecross fail.]] <<if $hasSword is true>>[[Slash at him with your Sword!->Doublecross fail.]]<</if>><<if $hasBow is true>>[[Shoot him with your Bow!->Doublecross fail.]]<</if>>

You continue walking toward the Toll Troll. After 5 minutes of walking, you see familiar Tremor and can hear<<if hasVisited("Take the satchel with you.")>><<if not hasVisited("Give your satchel to the Toll Troll.")>><<if not hasVisited("Give your satchel to the Toll Troll.2")>> sad whimpering<</if>><</if>><</if>><<if hasVisited("Take the satchel with you.")>><<if hasVisited("Give your satchel to the Toll Troll.")>> coins jingling and elated giggling<</if>><</if>><<if hasVisited("Take the satchel with you.")>><<if hasVisited("Give your satchel to the Toll Troll.2")>> coins jingling and elated giggling<</if>><</if>><<if not hasVisited("Take the satchel with you.")>> sad whimpering<</if>> coming from around the corner. You motion for the Bandits to prepare themselves. [[Peek around the corner.]] [[Walk around the corner.]] [[Call a warning to the troll.]] [[Double-cross him immediately.<-Attack the Bandit King!]] <<set $trollgate to true>>

<<set $banditdeath to $banditdeath + 1>>You attack! The gang of Bandits saw your double-cross coming. You are shot full of arrows, then stabbed repeatedly for good measure. [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?->Begin walking into the tunnel.]]

You look around the corner. <<if $trollgate is true>>The gate is still covering the Toll Troll's alcove, trapping it inside. <<elseif $trollgate is false>>The gate has returned to its original closed position, leaving the Toll Troll's alcove open.<</if>> [[Call a warning to the troll.]] [[Walk around the corner.]] [[Double-cross him immediately.<-Attack the Bandit King!]]

<<set $version to "1.4.8.8">> <<newinventory '$inventory'>> <<newinventory '$equipmentInv'>> <<set $APdeath to 0>> <<set $banditdeath to 0>> <<set $deathbytroll to 0>> <<set $DMdeath to 0>> <<set $DMdeathscore to 0>> <<set $DVdeath to 0>> <<set $envirodeath to 0>> <<set $gatedeath to 0>> <<set $gatedeathscore to 0>> <<set $golemdeath to 0>> <<set $guarddeath to 0>> <<set $LSdeath to 0>> <<set $msdeath to 0>> <<set $newtdeath to 0>> <<set $NPCdeath to 0>> <<set $sleepdeath to 0>> <<set $EnikyDeathMethod to "None">> <<set $tomedeath to false>> <<set $alarmtriggered to false>> <<set $alright to false>> <<set $amputate to false>> <<set $ateDMeds to false>> <<set $bagtype to "Pocket">> <<set $banditfriend to false>> <<set $banditgold to false>> <<set $binarychoice to "Yes.">> <<set $binarycount to 0>> <<set $binarynum to 1>> <<set $binaryroom to 0>> <<set $bookunderchan to false>> <<set $bothdead to false>> <<set $bowtype to "None">> <<set $brokenchan to false>> <<set $buttonColorRight to "Fuchsia">> <<set $buttonPresses to 0>> <<set $cakeowed to 0>> <<set $calm to false>> <<set $canteenempty to false>> <<set $canteenfull to false>> <<set $caughtcupcakes to 0>> <<set $COBook1 to false>> <<set $COBook2 to false>> <<set $cupcakecharity to false>> <<set $cupcakes to 0>> <<set $cupcaketray to 4>> <<set $d20gold to false>> <<set $d20roll to 0>> <<set $deadbandits to false>> <<set $delirious to false>> <<set $dysentery to 0>> <<set $eatencupcakes to 0>> <<set $eatrations to false>> <<set $EnikyAnger to 0>> <<set $EnikyBow to false>> <<set $EnikyDead to false>> <<set $EnikyEscape to false>> <<set $EnikyFreed to false>> <<set $EnikyHoodie to false>> <<set $EnikyLeft to false>> <<set $EnikyName to false>> <<set $EnikyPill to false>> <<set $EnikyShield to false>> <<set $EnikySword to false>> <<set $exhausted to false>> <<set $exhaustion to 0>> <<set $exhaustiontext to "Fresh">> <<set $foundredbutton to false>> <<set $givencupcakes to 0>> <<set $goldtotal to 0>> <<set $golem to false>> <<set $golembad to false>> <<set $golemgood to false>> <<set $golemsmash to 0>> <<set $greenbutton to false>> <<set $hasBow to false>> <<set $hasClosingTome to false>> <<set $hasCOBook to false>> <<set $hasCOreChunk to false>> <<set $hasd20 to false>> <<set $hasDysenteryMeds to false>> <<set $hasEniky to false>> <<set $hasESsack to false>> <<set $hasFancySatchel to false>> <<set $hasGold to false>> <<set $hasHoodie to false>> <<set $hasInvisAmulet to false>> <<set $hasKeyRing to false>> <<set $hasMap to false>> <<set $hasMedallion to false>> <<set $hasQuantumStone to false>> <<set $hasRake to false>> <<set $hasSecretcode to false>> <<set $hasShield to false>> <<set $hasSword to false>> <<set $hasTorch to false>> <<set $hasWaffles to false>> <<set $hasWakingScroll to false>> <<set $heedsign to false>> <<set $ignoresign to false>> <<set $inndice to false>> <<set $killedCC to false>> <<set $killedLandShark to false>> <<set $killedProspector to false>> <<set $leverLeftRoom to "Neutral">> <<set $leverRightLeft to "Neutral">> <<set $leverRightRight to "Neutral">> <<set $lookhoe to false>> <<set $makebreak to false>> <<set $mentalfire to false>> <<set $mentalfireattempt to 0>> <<set $metTroll to false>> <<set $metwaffles to 0>> <<set $nat1 to 0>> <<set $nat1score to 0>> <<set $nat20 to 0>> <<set $nat20score to 0>> <<set $needglasses to true>> <<set $newtdead to false>> <<set $nocount to 0>> <<set $notedanger to false>> <<set $oandeTraderdone to false>> <<set $parcheddead to false>> <<set $parchedwoman to true>> <<set $pillGone to false>> <<set $platinumtotal to 0>> <<set $playername to "None">> <<set $previousno to false>> <<set $previousno2 to false>> <<set $previouspassage to "None">> <<set $ptorchon to false>> <<set $rakeashes to false>> <<set $redbutton to false>> <<set $relationships to false>> <<set $retire to 0>> <<set $score to 0>> <<set $scrollactive to false>> <<set $sealin to false>> <<set $seenbutton to false>> <<set $seenDMeds to false>> <<set $seenposter to 0>> <<set $seenVestibule to false>> <<set $serialkiller to false>> <<set $shieldtype to "None">> <<set $showpoints to true>> <<set $skinnednewt to false>> <<set $standby to false>> <<set $stealattempt to 0>> <<set $stealattemptscore to 0>> <<set $stealnumber to 0>> <<set $stolenitems to 0>> <<set $stolenitemsscore to 0>> <<set $swordtype to "None">> <<set $teasetroll to false>> <<set $tetanus to false>> <<set $traderhungry to true>> <<set $trolldead to false>> <<set $trollgate to false>> <<set $trollgold to false>> <<set $wafflescageopen to false>> <<set $wafflesname to false>> <<set $warnsign to false>> <<set $washere1 to 0>> <<set $westerlinddeadguards to false>> <<set $westerlinddestroyed to false>> <<set $yescount to 0>>

You walk around the corner and stand in front of the Toll Troll's <<if $trollgate is true>>gate-covered<</if>> alcove. <<if $trollgate is true>><<if $trollgold is false>> The Toll Troll is weeping inside. It hasn't yet noticed you. <<else>> The Toll Troll is playing happily with its gold. It hasn't yet noticed you.<</if>><</if>> <<if $seenbutton is true>> You remember that the Toll Troll pushed a button above you.<</if>> [[Motion for the Bandits to attack.]] [[Call a warning to the troll.]] [[Double-cross him immediately.<-Attack the Bandit King!]] <<if $trollgate is true>>[[Head back down the original path.]]<</if>> <<if $trollgate is true>><<if $seenbutton is true>>[[Press the button to close the gate.]]<</if>><</if>><<if $trollgate is false>><<if $seenbutton is true>>[[Press the button to open the gate.]]<</if>><</if>>

<<set $banditdeath to $banditdeath + 1>>You call out a heartfelt warning to the Troll, letting it know of the impending Bandit raid. Unfortunately, you will never know if the Troll survives, because you are stabbed in the back of the skull by the Bandit King. [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?->Begin walking into the tunnel.]]

<<set $deathbytroll to $deathbytroll + 1>><<set $teasetroll to true>>You incessantly tease the Toll Troll. Bully. The Toll Troll wipes tears from it's eyes, then reaches through the bars, grabs you by the head, and squeezes until your skull caves in. [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?->Look into the gate covered alcove.]]

<<set $changebowtext to true>>You motion for the Bandits to attack the troll. <<if $trollgate is true>>The Bandits draw their bows, nock their arrows, and shoot at the troll through the bars.<</if>><<if $trollgate is false>> The Bandits draw their swords and charge into the alcove to engage the troll.<</if>> <<if $trollgate is false>><<if $seenbutton is true>><<if $hasBow is true>> [[Use your Bow of Questionable Durability to press the button, sealing the Bandits and the Toll Troll inside the alcove.->Seal in.]]<</if>><</if>><</if>><<if $trollgate is false>><<if $seenbutton is true>><<if $hasSword is true>> [[Use your Sword of Tetanus to press the button, sealing the Bandits and the Toll Troll inside the alcove.->Seal in.]]<</if>><</if>><</if>> [[Wait until there is a victor.]] [[Run away during their attack!]] [[Team up with the Bandits to fight the Toll Troll!]] [[Team up with the Toll Troll to fight the Bandits!]]

You attempt to press the button to close the gate. You are too short to reach the button. [[Motion for the Bandits to attack.]] <<if $hasBow is true>>[[Use your Bow of Questionable Durability to press the button.->Success Closed.]]<</if>><<if $hasSword is true>>[[Use your Sword of Tetanus to press the button.->Success Closed.]]<</if>>

You attempt to press the button to open the gate. You are too short to reach the button. [[Motion for the Bandits to attack.]] <<if $hasBow is true>>[[Use your Bow of Questionable Durability to press the button.->Success Open.]]<</if>><<if $hasSword is true>>[[Use your Sword of Tetanus to press the button.->Success Open.]]<</if>>

<<set $trollgate to true>>You successfully press the button. The gate slams shut over the alcove. The Toll Troll has definitely noticed you. [[Motion for the Bandits to attack.]]

<<set $trollgate to false>>You successfully press the button. The gate covering the alcove opens with a metallic screech. The Troll has definitely noticed you. [[Motion for the Bandits to attack.]]

<<set $sealin to false>>You team up with the bandits to fight the Toll Troll. <<if $hasBow is false>><<if $hasSword is false>><<set $deathbytroll to $deathbytroll + 1>>You charge at the Toll Troll with your fists! It seems to single you out for it's wrath. It slams you hard enough that people would be forgiven for mistaking you for an accordion. [[YOU HAVE DIED. Tun back time?->Motion for the Bandits to attack.]]<</if>><</if>><<if $hasSword is true>>[[Draw your trusty Sword of Tetanus and charge at the Toll Troll!]]<</if>><<if $hasBow is true>>[[Draw your Bow of Questionable Durability, nock an arrow and shoot!]]<</if>>

<<set $sealin to true>>You successfully press the button, sealing in both the Toll Troll and the Bandits. [[Make a break for it!]] [[Wait until there is a victor.]] [[Team up with the Bandits to fight the Toll Troll!]] [[Team up with the Toll Troll to fight the Bandits!]]

<<set $banditdeath to $banditdeath + 1>>You attempt to run back out of the tunnels. The moment you turn your back, you are shot full of arrows. And stabbed. Oops. [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?->Motion for the Bandits to attack.]]

<<set $standby to true>>You stand by a wait until there is a victor. It takes about 20 seconds, but the Bandits stand victorious. Those of them left in one piece, that is. [[Survey the battle scene.]]

<<set $sealin to false>>You lock eyes with the Toll Troll in silent understanding and you decide to team up! <<if $hasBow is false>><<if $hasSword is false>>You charge at the Bandit King with your fists! Almost as an afterthought, the Bandit King stabs you in the eye with his dagger, then goes back to fighting the Toll Troll. [[YOU HAVE DIED. Tun back time?->Motion for the Bandits to attack.]]<</if>><</if>><<if $hasSword is true>>[[Draw your trusty Sword of Tetanus and charge at the Bandits!]]<</if>><<if $hasBow is true>>[[Draw your Bow of Questionable Durability, nock an arrow and shoot at the Bandits!]]<</if>>

You make a break for it. <<set $makebreak to true>><<set $exhaustion to $exhaustion +1>> <<if hasVisited("Seal in.")>> The sounds of a pitched battle echo behind you as you run.<</if>> You eventually emerge at the mouth of the tunnel. <<if $hasSword is false and $hasBow is false>>You see some weapons lying on a rock. [[Quickly grab the Sword of Tetanus.->Pick the Sword of Tetanus.]] [[Quickly grab the Bow of Questionable Durability.->Pick the Bow of Questionable Durability.]] [[Trek to the high summit.]]<</if>> <<if $hasSword is true or $hasBow is true>> You survey the geography and your best judgment tells you that the high summit to the East is the best place to set up camp. As good a place as any other, at least. [[Trek to the high summit.]]<</if>>

<<set $tetanus to true>><<set $envirodeath to $envirodeath + 1>>You poke yourself with the Sword of Tetanus hard enough to draw blood. You contract fast-acting Tetanus. As your jaw muscles seize up and you begin to suffocate, you can't help but feel like that was a bad idea. Seriously, what did you think would happen? [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?->previous()]]

<<set $banditdeath to $banditdeath + 1>>You attempt to break the Bow of Questionable Durability over your knee. You succeed. Congratulations! Your hunch that the bow was not very durable was correct! <<if $changebowtext is false>>Unfortunately, the Bandit King does not appreciate you breaking his weapons. Ironically, when stabbing you in the back of the skull, he breaks his dagger.<</if>><<if $changebowtext is true>>Unfortunately, the broken bits snap back and go straight through your throat.<</if>> [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?->Pick the Bow of Questionable Durability.]]

You survey the battle scene. You vomit. On one of the Bandits. She doesn't seem to mind. [[Look around once you compose yourself.]] [[Ask to leave.]] [[Walk away.]]

You ask to be able to leave. <<if $hasGold is false>><<if $trollgold is true>>Most of the Bandits are too busy counting their newfound gold pieces to even acknowledge you. However, the Bandit King approaches you. He says: "You've done right by us friend! You indeed may leave, and we won't even shoot you in the back!" You feel relieved. "Oh, and one more thing. If you should ever need anything at all, you should probably keep that to yourself and not bother me with it, or I will likely stab you in the throat." You walk off, secure in the knowledge that you have made a new friend! Sort of.<<set $banditfriend to true>><</if>> <<if $trollgold is false>>Most of the Bandits are too busy cleaning their weapons to acknowledge you. However, the Bandit King approaches you. He says: "You've done right by us friend! Pity there was no gold here, but the excitement was enough for me. Regardless, you indeed may leave, and we won't even shoot you in the back!" You feel relieved. "Oh, and one more thing. If you should ever need anything at all, you should probably keep that to yourself and not bother me with it, or I will likely stab you in the throat." You walk off, secure in the knowledge that you have made a new friend! Sort of.<<set $banditfriend to true>><</if>> [[Calmly leave the tunnels.]]<</if>> <<if $hasGold is true>>You are impeded upon attempting to leave the alcove. The Bandit King points at your satchel. "Pretty gutsy to try to steal from us. Were you just planning to walk off?" [["Yep."]] [["Uh...no?"]] [["No! I just found this and was going to give it to you!"]]<</if>>

You regain your composure, and take a look around, avoiding the meaty bits. <<if $trollgate is true>>You find and press a button that opens the gate covering the alcove. <</if>>The remains of several would-be adventurers, an impressive collection of rocks, and several packs of oatmeal ("original" flavor) litter the floor. On the belt on the corpse of the Toll Troll you find a silver medalion. In incredibly elegant handcarving it reads: "4 my onlee frand". <<if $trollgold is false>>You do not find any ol' bags o' gold, not even a small one.<</if>><<if $trollgold is true>>There are several pieces of gold among the remains of the Toll Troll. One of the bandits has the enviable job of scraping entrails off the coins before placing them in a big ol' bag.<</if>> [[Ask to leave.]] [[Walk away.]] <<if $hasGold is true>>[[Attempt to conceal your satchel of gold.]] <</if>>

You attempt to silently walk away. <<if $hasGold is false>>The Bandits are too busy <<if $trollgold is true>>counting their newfound gold pieces to stop you.<</if>><<if $trollgold is false>>scouring the cave for gold pieces to stop you.<</if>> [[Leave the alcove slowly, and then run out of the tunnel!->Make a break for it!]]<</if>> <<if $hasGold is true>>You are impeded upon attempting to leave the alcove. The Bandit King points at your satchel. "You wouldn't be trying to steal from us, now would you?" [["Yep."]] [["Uh...no?"]] [["No! I just found this and was going to give it to you!"]]<</if>>

You attempt to conceal your satchel of gold. Upon reaching for it, you find it missing! You turn around. The Bandit King is standing there, holding your satchel of gold. Uh oh. "Trying to steal a Big Ol' Bag o' Gold from us?" [["Yep."]] [["Uh...no?"]] [["No! I just found this and was going to give it to you!"]]

<<set $banditdeath to $banditdeath + 1>>You respond: "Yep." "Your honesty is appreciated...if unexpected. So I shall be honest with you, as well! We're going to kill you now." The Bandit King is not a liar. [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?->Survey the battle scene.]]

<<set $banditdeath to $banditdeath + 1>>You respond: "Uh...no?" "You know, I really dislike lying. It's rude. You know what we do to rude people?" Apparently they kill rude people. [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?->Survey the battle scene.]]

<<set $trolldead to true>>You draw your trusty Sword of Tetanus and charge at the Toll Troll! With a bloodlust you didn't know you had in you, you slice at the troll's vital, unguarded regions. As you at last cut the Toll Troll's neck, it makes eye contact with you. Its sad eyes appear to be pleading with you as it lets out a final, silent scream. The Toll Troll falls over, quite dead. [[Survey the battle scene.]]

<<set $trolldead to true>>You draw your Bow of Questionable Durability, nock an arrow, and shoot at the Toll Troll! As you loose your arrow, the Toll Troll makes eye contact with you. Its sad eyes appear to be pleading with you. Scratch that, sad //''EYE''//, since your arrow just penetrated one of them. The Toll Troll falls over, quite dead. [[Survey the battle scene.]]

<<set $exhausted to true>><<if visited("Trek to the high summit.") lte 1>><<set $exhaustion to $exhaustion + 1>><</if>>You begin your Trek to the high summit. You travel for the better part of 12 hours to the base of a moderate-sized mountain. To your chagrin, there are 3 potential paths in front of you, and they look nearly identical. You are fairly certain that you only have enough strength left in you to attempt one of the paths. Surely, one of them must lead to the top. [[Take the left path.]] [[Take the middle path.]] [[Take the right path.]] <<if not hasVisited("Shout to the heavens asking for some kind of sign.")>>[[Shout to the heavens asking for some kind of sign.]]<</if>><<if hasVisited("Shout to the heavens asking for some kind of sign.")>>[[Investigate the sign.]]<</if>>

You draw your trusty Sword of Tetanus and charge at the Bandits! With a bloodlust you didn't know you had in you, you slice through Bandit after Bandit! The pincer attack formed by you and the Toll Troll has left the Bandits confused! As you approach the Bandit King, huddling in a corner, he pleads for his life as you stab him in the heart. The Bandit Kings eyes close as he slumps over, quite dead. [[Survey the carnage.]]

You draw your Bow of Questionable Durability, nock arrows, and shoot at the Bandits! You have silently taken down several Bandits before they collectively notice that you are firing upon them! However, by that time, it's far too late. The pincer attack formed by you and the Toll Troll has left the Bandits confused! You spy the Bandit King, huddling in a corner. He continues to plead for his life even as your arrow plunges into his heart. The Bandit King's eyes close as he slumps over, quite dead. [[Survey the carnage.]]

<<set $deadbandits to true>>You survey the battle scene. You vomit. On the Toll Troll. It doesn't seem to mind. [[Compose yourself, then look around.]] [[Ask the Toll Troll if you can leave.]] [[Silently walk away from the carnage.]]

You regain your composure, and take a look around, avoiding the meaty bits. <<if $trollgate is true>>You find and press a button that opens the gate covering the alcove. <</if>> You look through the pockets of several Bandits, and while you do not find much gold, you do find notes and pictures from their loved ones. Most contain some form of "Please come home soon!" and "I love you!" The Toll Troll smiles at you and says, "Lemme show you 'round!" before giving you an in-depth tour of its alcove. You see the remains of several would-be adventurers, an impressive collection of rocks, and several packets of oatmeal ("original" flavor). <<if $trollgold is false>>You do not find any ol' bags o' gold, not even a small one.<</if>><<if $trollgold is true>>There are several pieces of gold among the remains of the Toll Troll. The coins appears to be covered in Bandit viscera. The big ol' bag is still mostly full o' gold.<</if>><<if $trollgold is false>><<if $banditgold is true>> You watch the Toll Troll wrest your Big Ol' Bag o' Gold from the Bandit King's corpse.<<set $banditgold to false>><<set $trollgold to true>><</if>><</if>> <<if $trollgold is true>>[[Try to steal the Big Ol' Bag o' Gold!]]<</if>> [[Attack the Toll Troll!]] [[Ask the Toll Troll if you can leave.]]

You ask the Toll Troll if you may leave. It quickly impedes your movement and bellows, "WAIT!" The Toll Troll then turns its back to you and rummages through a sack on its belt. You feel your bowels begin to shift. [[Make a break for it!]] [[Wait, as told.]]

You attempt to silently walk away. The Toll Troll is too preoccupied with looting the Bandit corpses to notice your departure. You back away slowly, before starting to run. [[Make a break for it!]]

You wait, as told. Mostly out of fear. The Toll Troll turns around and holds out its hand to you, revealing a silver medallion. In incredibly elegant handcarving it reads: "4 my onlee frand". It seems to want you to take the medallion. [[Take the medallion.]] <<if $trollgold is true>>[[Try to steal the Big Ol' Bag o' Gold!]] <</if>>[[Attack the Toll Troll!]]

You attempt to steal the Big Ol' Bag o' Gold! It sees you coming and readies itself for a fight. <<if $hasBow is false>><<if $hasSword is false>><<set $deathbytroll to $deathbytroll + 1>>You charge at the Toll Troll with your fists! It slams you hard enough that people would be forgiven for mistaking you for an accordion. [[YOU HAVE DIED. Turn back time?->Compose yourself, then look around.]]<</if>><</if>> <<if $hasSword is true>>[[Attack with your sword!]]<</if>><<if $hasBow is true>>[[Attack with your bow!]]<</if>>

You take the medallion. <<set $hasMedallion to true>><<pickup '$inventory' unique '[[Onlee frand medallion]]'>> <<if $trolldead is false>> The Toll Troll smiles at you. You smile back and each wave goodbye to the other.<</if>> <<if $trolldead is false>><<if $trollgold is true>> [[Try to steal the Big Ol' Bag o' Gold!]]<</if>><</if>><<if $trolldead is true>><<if $trollgold is true>> [[Take the Big Ol' Bag o' Gold!]]<</if>><</if>> [[Calmly leave the tunnels.]] <<if $trolldead is false>>[[Attack the Toll Troll!]]<</if>>

You attack the Toll Troll! <<if $hasBow is false>><<if $hasSword is false>><<set $deathbytroll to $deathbytroll + 1>>You charge at the Toll Troll with your fists! It slams you hard enough that people would be forgiven for mistaking you for an accordion. [[YOU HAVE DIED. Turn back time?->Compose yourself, then look around.]]<</if>><</if>> <<if $hasSword is true>>[[Attack with your sword!]]<</if>><<if $hasBow is true>>[[Attack with your bow!]]<</if>>

You attack the Toll Troll with your Sword of Tetanus! <<set $trolldead to true>> Still wounded and winded from the battle, the Toll Troll is no match for your weapon. It quickly succumbs to fast-acting tetanus and collapses to the ground. You search the Toll Troll's corpse. On its belt you find a silver medallion. In incredibly elegant handcarving it reads: "4 my onlee frand". <<if $trollgold is true>>[[Take the Big Ol' Bag o' Gold!]]<</if>> <<if $hasMedallion is false>>[[Take the medallion.]]<</if>> [[Calmly leave the tunnels.]]

You attack the Toll Troll with your Bow of Questionable Durability!<<set $trolldead to true>> Still wounded and winded from the battle, the Toll Troll is no match for your weapon. You swiftly call the Toll Troll's durability into question as you fill it with well-placed arrows. The Toll Troll collapses to the ground. You search the Toll Troll's corpse. On its belt you find a silver medallion. In incredibly elegant handcarving it reads: "4 my onlee frand". <<if $trollgold is true>>[[Take the Big Ol' Bag o' Gold!]]<</if>> <<if $hasMedallion is false>>[[Take the medallion.]]<</if>> [[Calmly leave the tunnels.]]

You take the Big Ol' Bag o' Gold! <<set $trollgold to false>><<set $hasGold to true>><<set $goldtotal to 1>> <<if $hasMedallion is false>>[[Take the medallion.]]<</if>> [[Calmly leave the tunnels.]]

<<set $calm to true>>You calmly leave the tunnels.<<set $exhaustion to $exhaustion +1>> <<if $hasSword is false and $hasBow is false>> You see some weapons lying on a rock at the mouth of the tunnel. [[Quickly grab the Sword of Tetanus.->Pick the Sword of Tetanus.]] [[Quickly grab the Bow of Questionable Durability.->Pick the Bow of Questionable Durability.]]<</if>> <<if $hasSword is true or $hasBow is true>> You survey the geography and your best judgment tells you that the high summit to the East is the best place to set up camp. As good a place as any other, at least. [[Trek to the high summit.]]<</if>>

You begin to head back down the original path, but you see the Mucilaginous Sphere in the distance. You decide it may be best to stay put. [[Stay Put.->Walk around the corner.]]

You take the leftmost path.<<if visitedTags("leftpath") is 1>><<set $exhaustion to $exhaustion + 1>><</if>> <<if $warnsign is true>> Signs have never lied to you before, so why would they start now?<<set $heedsign to true>><</if>> This path seems quite flat for a trail up a mountain. Ahead you see a lot more dirt and sparse vegetation, framed by the mountain itself. [[Continue along.]] [[Retrace your steps.]]

<<if $warnsign is true>><<if $killedLandShark is false>><<set $ignoresign to true>>You take the middle path. Certainly you know more than a silly sign.<</if>><<if $killedLandShark is true>>It turns out the sign DID lie to you. This middle path must be correct.<</if>><</if>><<if $warnsign is false>> The middle path seems as good as any. You begin your trek to the summit.<</if>> This is truly a beautiful area. The sky is blue, the mountains have a cool breeze blowing through them. It's a very nice comparison to the cave tunnels that you escaped from.<<if $killedLandShark is true>><<if $killedProspector is true>><<set $bothdead to true>><</if>><</if>> <<if visited("Take the middle path.") lte 1>><<set $exhaustion to $exhaustion + 1>><</if>> [[Keep your eyes peeled for anything strange.]] [[Walk on to the summit.]]

You take the rightmost path.<<if $warnsign is true>> You've certainly considered being a solicitor at some point in your life, after all!<<if $heedsign is false>><<set $ignoresign to true>><</if>><</if>> You walk for some time before the path begins to narrow.<<if visitedTags("rightpath") is 1>><<set $exhaustion to $exhaustion + 1>><</if>> [[Continue onto the narrow ledge.]] [[Turn back.]]

You shout to the heavens asking for some kind of sign. You hear a crow caw to your left. This is it! This must be the sign! You turn your head and indeed see a sign! [[Investigate the sign.]] [[Take the left path.]] [[Take the middle path.]] [[Take the right path.]]

You investigate the sign.<<if visitedTags("warnsign") lte 1>><<set $warnsign to true>><</if>> It's large and wooden. It's been here literally the whole time. In pink and yellow paint it reads: <h1><center>"Welcome to Sunshine Sparkle Summit!"</center></h1> <center>"To those wishing to avoid a terrible death while climbing to the top, please take the ==middle== ^^left^^ path. Solicitors, please take the right path."</center> There is a pamphlet holder attached to the sign. [[Search the pamphlet holder.]] [[Take the middle path.]] <<if $killedProspector is false>>[[Take the right path.]] <</if>><<if $killedLandShark is false>>[[Take the left path.]] <</if>>

You search the pamphlet holder. It says: "FREE MAPS". It's empty. [[Take the middle path.]] <<if $killedProspector is false>>[[Take the right path.]] <</if>><<if $killedLandShark is false>>[[Take the left path.]] <</if>>

You continue on to the narrow ledge. You tell yourself not to look down, but you do it anyway. There is a fairly deep ravine below you. Falling would be, at best, unpleasant. [[Turn back.]] [[Traverse the narrow ledge.]]

You turn back toward the base of the mountain. Unfortunately, your previous assessment was correct. Your energy depletes to the point of exhaustion, and you pass out on the path. Your dream is lovely though! In the midst of this dream, you feel a pushing sensation. [[Will yourself awake!]]

You will yourself to wakefulness. <<set $APdeath to $APdeath + 1>> You wake up in time to see a man with a comically large nose, wearing overalls and a straw hat. He shoves you over the edge of the path. As you fall into the ravine, you can see the man waving a prospector's pick at you. He shouts: "Serves ya' right! Confounded solictors!" [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?->Trek to the high summit.]]

<<if $goldtotal lte 0>>You traverse the narrow ledge.<<set $APdeath to $APdeath + 1>> You hug the stone wall of the mountainside and continue forward. Though the feeling of your toes hanging out over nothingness is slightly terrifying, your making good progress. As you round a corner, you see where the path widens again. You're nearly there! Unfortunately, a man with a comically large nose, wearing overalls and a straw hat jumps out of seemingly nowhere. He shouts incoherently at you, startling you, and causing you to miss your step. As you fall into the ravine, you can see the man waving a prospector's pick at you. He shouts: "Serves ya' right! Confounded solictors!" [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?->Trek to the high summit.]] <<elseif $goldtotal gte 1>>You traverse the narrow ledge. You hug the stone wall of the mountainside and continue forward. Though the feeling of your toes hanging out over nothingness is slightly terrifying, your make good progress. As your round a corner, you see where the path widens again. You're nearly there! Unfortunately, a man with a comically large nose, wearing overalls and a straw hat jumps out of seemingly nowhere. He shouts incoherently at you, startling you, and causing you to miss your step. As you begin to fall into the ravine, the satchel of gold that you tied to your belt catches on an outcropping of rock, saving you from certain death! To the strange man's surprise and anger, you climb back to safety. "Figures! A solicitor saved by a bag of gold!" [["Why do you hate solicitors so much?"]] [["Why would you attack me like that?"]] "[[Who are you?]]" [[Punch him!]] <<if $hasSword is true>>[[Attack with your Sword!]]<</if>><<if $hasBow is true>>[[Attack with your Bow!]]<</if>> <</if>>

You continue along the sandy path. In the distance you can see where the path begins to slope upwards toward the summit. With a renewed sense of vigor, you steadfastly propel yourself forward. Or, at least you try to. Your feet don't seem to be moving. Glancing down, you see that your feet are buried to the ankles in sand. You've seen this before, in all those films that you spent countless dollars on at the cinema...Quicksand! [[Panic!]] [[Slowly walk back to safety.]] [[Run quickly out of the quicksand!]]

You turn around to return to the base of the mountain. You are pretty exhausted as you slog back. Suddenly, the hairs stand up on the back of your neck. You can't help but feel like you are being watched. [[Look for the creeper.]] [[Walk faster.]]

<<set $LSdeath to $LSdeath + 1>>You stop and look around for whatever has been watching you. You look behind you, and sweep your view left and right but do not see anything. Must have been your imagination! [[Turn around and continue walking back.]]

You walk faster to get back to where you started. The sound of fast moving footsteps comes from behind you, louder and louder still. You refuse to look back and push yourself into a run! Unfortunately you trip. The last thing you see is a shark looming over you, then eating your face.<<set $LSdeath to $LSdeath + 1>> [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?->Trek to the high summit.]]

You turn back around and begin walking back. However, you are startled to find a shark directly in front of you! At least it //looks// like a shark, but it's standing on two legs, as if it were a Land Shark, or something. But that can't be right. It speaks, "Hey. I'm the Land Shark." You feel proud of yourself for correctly indentifying this creature. Unfortunately, your sense of self-worth is cut short as the Land Shark devours you. [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?->Trek to the high summit.]]

You ask the Bandit King to confirm that his name is, indeed, Ray Diamond. He replies: "Yes...why?" [[Try not to laugh.]]

You try not to laugh. You laugh very hard. Ray Diamond is clearly not amused as he stabs you in the throat with his dagger. [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time? ->Ask what they want.]]

You begin panicking! It takes all of your willpower to not flail around, but you really want to. Though no one is around, you shout for help. "Whoa there! Easy, easy, easy!", you hear from a voice on the far end of the Quicksand pit. The source of the voice must be a panic-induced hallucination. There is no other explanation for why there would be a shark with two humanoid legs, wearing bermuda shorts and standing on the shoreline next to a lake of quicksand. "Don't panic, it's just me, the Land Shark!" Well, okay. That is one explanation for it. [[Ask for help.]] [[Run quickly out of the quicksand!]] <<if $hasSword is true>>[[Swing at the Land Shark with your Sword of Tetanus!]]<</if>><<if $hasBow is true>>[[Draw your Bow of Questionable Durability and shoot the Land Shark!]]<</if>>

You slowly slog back to safety. All of those movies you watched greatly exaggerated the depth at which you'd descend into quicksand. Knowing this, you softly step and trudge your way to the shore line. You are focused entirely on the task at hand. Which probably explains why you are surprised by what is standing on the shore ahead of you. You see a shark with two humanoid legs, wearing bermuda shorts and standing on the shoreline next to a lake of quicksand. "Don't panic, it's just me, the Land Shark!" [[Ask for help.]] [[Run quickly out of the quicksand!]] <<if $hasSword is true>>[[Swing at the Land Shark with your Sword of Tetanus!]]<</if>><<if $hasBow is true>>[[Draw your Bow of Questionable Durability and shoot the Land Shark!]]<</if>>

<<set $envirodeath to $envirodeath + 1>>You run out of the quicksand, flailing wildly. It's incredibly difficult to lift your feet in the non-newtonian fluid. You trip and fall, face-first, into the quicksand. <<if hasVisited("Panic!")>>As you swallow sand and begin to drown, you see the Land Shark shrug, then pull a napkin bib out of it's pocket.The last thing you hear is: "Don't worry! I'll wait 'til you're fully dead before I eat you!" [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?->Trek to the high summit.]]<</if>><<if not hasVisited("Panic!")>>As you swallow sand and begin to drown, you hallucinate a walking shark standing on the shore line. The last thing you hear the hallucination say is: "Don't worry! I'll wait 'til you're fully dead before I eat you!" [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?->Trek to the high summit.]]<</if>>

You ask the Land Shark for help. It looks remorseful. "Oh sorry! No can do, friend-o! You seem like a nice enough person, but I've gotta eat. I will tell you what, though! I can come out there and eat you now, and you won't feel a thing! Alternatively, you can stay there and die of starvation, dehydration, exposure, etc. Don't worry, though! I just had a Bandit a couple of days ago, so I can wait if you'd rather die slowly. Either way I will be totally respectful of your choice!" At least it's a polite Land Shark. [[Acquiesce to your fate and tell the Land Shark to eat you now.]] [[Request to die slowly.]] [[Run quickly out of the quicksand!]] <<if $hasSword is true>><<if not hasVisited("Swing at the Land Shark with your Sword of Tetanus!")>>[[Swing at the Land Shark with your Sword of Tetanus!]]<</if>><</if>><<if $hasBow is true>>[[Draw your Bow of Questionable Durability and shoot the Land Shark!]]<</if>> <<if $hasSword is true>>[[Stab yourself with your sword to spite the Land Shark!]]<</if>>

You draw your Sword of Tetanus and swing wildly at the Land Shark. Unfortunately, none of your slashes connect with the Land Shark. Most likely because it is about twenty feet away. The Land Shark laughs heartily. "Oh gee, that is too funny! Yeah, that's why I am standing so far away! All too often my prey tries to murder me with swords!" [[Run quickly out of the quicksand!]] <<if not hasVisited("Ask for help.")>>[[Ask for help.]] <</if>><<if hasVisited("Ask for help.")>>[[Acquiesce to your fate and tell the Land Shark to eat you now.]] [[Request to die slowly.]] <</if>>[[Stab yourself with your sword to spite the Land Shark!]]

You draw your Bow of Questionability Durability and in one smooth motion, you nock an arrow and shoot! The Land Shark is confused as it asks, "Hey, what's that thing?". The arrow strikes the Land Shark clean through one eye and out the other. It wordlessly collapses to the ground, blood spilling quickly out of its former eyes.<<set $killedLandShark to true>> You can't believe that worked. [[Go loot the body.]] [[Return to the base of the mountain.]]

<<set $LSdeath to $LSdeath + 1>>You resign yourself to death and tell the Land Shark to come eat you. "Totally understood. Thanks for being so cool about all of this. I know how terrible of a situation this is!" The land shark does a perfect "10" dive from the shore line into the quicksand. It disappears beneath the grains and you wonder where it went. Then you see a fin circling you in the water, reminding you of a film you saw recently. Then the Land Shark jumps up and chomps on your face. It was right! That was painless! <<set $exhaustion to $exhaustion - 1>> [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?->Trek to the high summit.]]

<<set $envirodeath to $envirodeath + 1>>You tell the Land Shark that you would rather not be alive when you die. The Land Shark, true to its word, is respectful of your decision. It even tells you jokes and plays charades with you to pass the time. When you feel the last of your strength waning, you see the Land Shark pull a napkin bib out of its pocket and tie it around its neck. <<set $exhaustion to $exhaustion - 1>> [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?->Trek to the high summit.]]

<<set $tetanus to true>><<set $envirodeath to $envirodeath + 1>>You stab yourself with the Sword of Tetanus. You contract fast-acting Tetanus. As your jaw muscles seize up and you begin to suffocate, you realize that the Land Shark will probably still eat your corpse anyway. Seriously, what did you think would happen? <<set $exhaustion to $exhaustion - 1>> [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?->Trek to the high summit.]]

<<set $envirodeath to $envirodeath + 1>>You walk over to loot the body of the Land Shark. In your zeal, you forgot that there was still a lake of Quicksand between you and the Landshark's body. You trip and fall face-first into the Quicksand. Perhaps you shouldn't been so greedy? [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?->Draw your Bow of Questionable Durability and shoot the Land Shark!]]

You decide to wash your hands of this quicksand and Land Shark business and return to the base of the mountain.<<set $exhaustion to $exhaustion - 1>> On your way back, you find some raspberry bushes that you think are fairly safe to eat. You risk it, and chomp a few handfuls down, and feel a small bit of your energy restored! <<if $killedProspector is false>> To your chagrin, there are 2 other potential paths in front of you, and they look nearly identical. You are pretty certain that you only have enough strength left in you for one more attempt of a path. Surely, one of them must lead to the top.<</if>><<if $killedProspector is true>> There is only one more potential path in front of you, now that you have explored the other two. That's wonderful, because you are 100% certain that you only have enough strength left in you for one more attempt of a path. Surely, this middle path will lead to the top.<</if>> [[Take the middle path.]] <<if $killedProspector is false>>[[Take the right path.]] <</if>><<if not hasVisited("Shout to the heavens asking for some kind of sign.")>>[[Shout to the heavens asking for some kind of sign.]]<</if>><<if hasVisited("Shout to the heavens asking for some kind of sign.")>>[[Investigate the sign.]]<</if>>

You keep your eyes peeled for anything strange. Nothing seems terribly out of the ordinary for most of your walk, but after a while, you do spot a poster pasted to a tall rock at eye-level. [[Read the poster.]] [[Walk on to the summit.]]

<<set $exhausted to true>><<set $exhaustion to 4>>You finish your climb to the top of the summit. Though you are exhausted, you cannot help but marvel at all of the beauty surrounding you. There is a decently sized house here, but no one has come out to greet (or kill) you yet, so it may be abandoned. It does appear to have a fairly snazzy door knocker, though. A wooden picnic table sits beneath a tree. Taking a rest would be a most excellent way to combat your exhaustion. Regardless, you feel as if you are at the top of the world, and you might as well be, because you can see all around you for miles! [[Sit down at the picnic table.]] [[Use the door knocker.]] [[Punch the door to the house.]] <<if $exhausted is true>>[[Take a nap under the tree.]]<</if>>

You read the poster.<<set $seenposter to $seenposter + 1>> It's written in very neat handwriting and is...sparkly. It looks as if the author of this poster used an entire box of colored pencils and then doused it with glitter.<<if $killedProspector is true>> There is a large red "X" painted over the picture, but you can still read the text.<</if>> <h2><center>"WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE: 'Angry Prospector!'"</center></h2> <h3><center>"REWARD: A Sunshine Sparkle Cupcake!"</center></h3> <center>"Accused of: Yelling at me! And killing solicitors!"</center> <center>"This guy is armed and dangerous, and it's said he can block any weapon with that pick of his!"</center> A very skillfully drawn picture shows a man with a comically large nose. He's wearing overalls and a straw hat, and is waving a prospector's pick. <<if $killedProspector is false>>Interesting.<</if>> <<if $killedProspector is true>> Then, in red paint, just below the picture: "Nevermind. He's dead."<</if>> [[Look for more posters.]] [[Walk on to the summit.]]

You search for any other posters.<<set $seenposter to $seenposter + 1>> There is another one, similarly situated, just a few yards ahead. <<if $killedLandShark is true>> There is a large red "X" in fresh paint over the entire poster, but you can still make out what everything says.<</if>> It's also written in very neat handwriting and is drowning in glitter and a full spectrum of colors. You imagine that if a rainbow vomited, it would look something like this. <h2><center>"WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE: 'Land Shark!'"</center></h2> <h3><center>"REWARD: Another Sunshine Sparkle Cupcake!"</center></h3> <center>Accused of: "Trying to eat me! And eating visitors!"</center> <center>"Alright, look, I get that it's a predator, and it needs to eat, but I don't want to be eaten! At least it's being polite about it."</center> There is also an excellent drawing of shark standing upright on human legs. It's wearing bermuda shorts and waving. <<if $killedLandShark is false>>That's...odd.<</if>> <<if $killedLandShark is true>> Just below the picture, in red paint you can see the following written: "Nevermind. It's dead<<if $killedProspector is true>>, too"<</if>>.<</if>> [[Look for any other posters.]] [[Walk on to the summit.]]

You look for any further posters on your way. <<if $bothdead is true>> There is one more poster nearby and, compared to the others, looks as if it is brand new! What's this? It's a picture of you! <h2><center>"WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE: This...Person...?"</center></h2> <h3><center>REWARD: A Sunshine Sparkle Cupcake!...(Look it's all I've got, okay!?)</center></h3> <center>Accused of: "Killing the Land Shark! Punching the Angry Prospector off a cliff! Trespassing! Possible solicitation!"</center> <center>"I don't really know anything about them, but they murdered the Land Shark and The Angry Prospector. That is not okay. They're a proven serial killer and are probably going to kill me next!"</center> Whomever drew this picture certainly captured your good side. <<set $seenposter to $seenposter + 1>> [[Walk on to the summit.]] <<elseif $killedProspector is true>><<if $killedLandShark is false>> There is one more poster nearby and, compared to the others, looks as if it is brand new! What's this? It's a picture of you! <h2><center>"WANTED: This...Person...?"</center></h2> <h3><center>REWARD: A Sunshine Sparkle Cupcake!...(Look it's all I've got, okay!?)</center></h3> <center>Accused of: "Punching the Angry Prospector off of a cliff! Trespassing! Possible solicitation!"</center> <center>"I don't really know anything about them, but they murdered the Angry Prospector. That is not okay. They're probably going to kill me next!"</center> Whomever drew this picture certainly captured your good side. <<set $seenposter to $seenposter + 1>> [[Walk on to the summit.]]<</if>> <<elseif $killedLandShark is true>><<if $killedProspector is false>> There is one more poster nearby and, compared to the others, looks as if it is brand new! What's this? It's a picture of you! <h2><center>"WANTED: This...Person...?"</center></h2> <h3><center>REWARD: A Sunshine Sparkle Cupcake!...(Look it's all I've got, okay!?)</center></h3> <center>Accused of: "Killing the Land Shark! Trespassing! Possible solicitation!"</center> <center>"I don't really know anything about them, but they murdered the Land Shark. That is not okay. They're probably going to kill me next!"</center> Whomever drew this picture certainly captured your good side. <<set $seenposter to $seenposter + 1>> [[Walk on to the summit.]]<</if>> <<else>> There don't appear to be any more posters. [[Walk on to the summit.]]<</if>>

You sit down at the picnic table. It feels good to sit down after all of the walking and climbing you've been doing. You are beginning to drift off into your thoughts, contemplating the events of the past few days when you notice an object out of the corner of your eye. There is an icosahedron with numbered sides sitting on the table. [[Pick up the d20.]] <<if not hasVisited("Use the door knocker.")>>[[Go knock on the door to the house.->Use the door knocker.]] <</if>>[[Go punch the door to the house.->Punch the door to the house.]] <<if $exhausted is true>>[[Take a nap under the tree.]]<</if>>

You pick up the 20-sided object. It seems to pulse and glow in your hands. You feel like you should roll the object on the table. [[Roll the d20!]]<<if not hasVisited("Use the door knocker.")>> [[Set the d20 down and knock on the door.->Use the door knocker.]]<</if>> [[Set the d20 down and punch the door!->Punch the door to the house.]]<<if $exhausted is true>> [[Set the d20 down and take a nap under the tree.->Take a nap under the tree.]]<</if>>

<<set $d20 to random(1, 20)>><<set $d20roll to $d20roll + 1>><center><h2>You roll <<print $d20>>!</h2></center> <<if $d20 is 20>><<set $nat20 to $nat20 + 1>>Your vision clears and all of your senses feel heightened! You see a unicorn hiding in the medium-height grass about 10 yards from you.<<if $d20gold is false>> You also find a Big Ol' Bag o' Gold under the table you're sitting at! You quickly pick it up and tie it to your belt. It makes your pants sag a little.<<set $d20gold to true>><<set $goldtotal to $goldtotal + 1>><</if>> [[Check out the medium-height grass.]] <<elseif $d20 gte 13>>You feel as if you are seeing clearly for the first time in a long while. Approximately 10 yards from you, you spot something hiding in the medium-height grass. [[Check out the medium-height grass.]] <<elseif $d20 gte 7>>You have a feeling that you are being watched, but you can't tell where they might be...Perhaps try rolling again? <<elseif $d20 gte 2>>You blink your eyes a few times, but you can't really see much.<<if $needglasses is false>> Perhaps you do need glasses after all.<</if>> You're probably just exhausted. At any rate, you feel the desire to roll the die again. <<elseif $d20 is 1>><<set $nat1 to $nat1 + 1>>You rub your eyes to clear your vision, but end up poking yourself in the eye. Awful luck. Something tells you that you should roll again. <</if>>[[Roll again?->Roll the d20!]]<<if not hasVisited("Use the door knocker.")>> [[Set the d20 down and knock on the door.->Use the door knocker.]]<</if>> [[Set the d20 down and punch the door!->Punch the door to the house.]]<<if $exhausted is true>> [[Set the d20 down and take a nap under the tree.->Take a nap under the tree.]]<</if>>

You set the icosahedron back onto the table and stand to get a better look at the medium-height grass. However, before you can move toward the grass, you are startled by a deep voice from behind, "Greetings, friend! Welcome to my home!" You turn around and look at the source of the deep voice. It's a kindly looking man, wearing a very stylish blue tuxedo. <<if $cupcakes gte 1>> The man points to the cupcake<<if $cupcakes gte 2>>s<</if>> in your hands. "I see you've already helped yourself to <<if $cupcakes is 1>>a cupcake<</if>><<if $cupcakes gte 2>>some cupcakes<</if>> that didn't belong to you. Oh well."<<set $caughtcupcakes to $cupcakes>><</if>> He continues, "Before we get too deep in the weeds, would you please tell me your name?" "[["Yes."->PlayerNameJoke][$playername to "Yes"]]" "[["No."->PlayerNameJoke][$playername to "No"]]"

You ask why he hates solicitors so much. He draws his Prospector's Pick and swing's it at your head. As your ears ring and you fall down the cliff, he shouts: "Because I do!" Fair enough. You're sure he has his reasons.<<set $APdeath to $APdeath + 1>> [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?->Trek to the high summit.]]

You ask why he attacked you. He draws his Prospector's Pick and swing's it at your head. As your ears ring and you fall down the cliff, he shouts: "Because I hate solicitors!" Fair enough. You're sure he has his reasons.<<set $APdeath to $APdeath + 1>> [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?->Trek to the high summit.]]

You ask the mystery man who he is. He responds solemnly, "People have been known to call me 'The Angry Prospector'. Do you know why?" "[[No. Why?]]" [[Punch him!]] <<if $hasSword is true>>[[Attack with your Sword!]]<</if>>

You move to strike! <<if hasVisited("Who are you?")>>The Angry Prospector<</if>><<if not hasVisited("Who are you?")>>The man<</if>> reaches to draw his Prospector's Pick, but your bare hands are faster! You connect squarely with his comically large nose! He stumbles backwards and stumbles off the ledge! As he falls to his doom you can hear him yell "Confounded solicitors!" followed shortly after by a deep "thud". <<if hasVisited("Who are you?")>>The Angry Prospector<</if>><<if not hasVisited("Who are you?")>>The man<</if>> seems to have dropped some trail rations.<<set $killedProspector to true>><<if visited("Punch him!") lte 1>><<set $exhaustion to $exhaustion + 1>><</if>> [[Continue onward.]] [[Eat the trail rations.]] [[Go back to the base of the mountain.]]

You draw your Sword of Tetanus and attack! <<if hasVisited("Who are you?")>>The Angry Prospector<</if>><<if not hasVisited("Who are you?")>>The man<</if>> draws his Prospector's Pick and attacks you faster than you can react! It connects with your head resulting in a resounding clank. As your ears ring and you fall down the cliff, he shouts: "Serves ya right, ya confounded solicitor!"<<set $APdeath to $APdeath + 1>> [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?->Trek to the high summit.]]

You ask why he is called 'The Angry Prospector'. He sighs, "Well, it's because I am a prospector, and..." He pauses. "[[Go on.]]" [[Punch him!]] <<if $hasSword is true>>[[Attack with your Sword!]]<</if>>

He swiftly draws his Prospector's Pick and swing's it at your head. As your ears ring and you fall down the cliff, he shouts: "I hate solicitors!" You agree, that is sound reasoning for his name.<<set $APdeath to $APdeath + 1>> [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?->Trek to the high summit.]]

You continue forward. You make it about twenty feet, but the ground beneath you is slick with condensation and you slip over the edge! Hard luck.<<set $envirodeath to $envirodeath + 1>> [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?->Punch him!]]

You eat the trail rations.<<set $eatrations to true>> Your exhaustion and hunger have waned slightly! You feel a renewed sense of vigor!<<set $exhaustion to $exhaustion - 1>> [[Continue onward.]] [[Go back to the base of the mountain.]]

You begin your march to the base of the mountain. <<if $eatrations is true>> With the rations sitting happily in your belly, you successfully trek back to the bottom of the mountain. [[Return to the mountain's base.]]<</if>> <<if $eatrations is false>> You make it a little ways before your hunger and exhaustion catch up with you. You pass out over a narrow ledge and fall to your death.<<set $envirodeath to $envirodeath + 1>> [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?->Punch him!]]<</if>>

You arrive at the base of the mountain. <<if $killedLandShark is false>> To your chagrin, there are 2 other potential paths in front of you, and they look nearly identical. You are pretty much certain that you only have enough strength left in you for one more attempt of a path. Surely, one of them must lead to the top.<</if>><<if $killedLandShark is true>> There is only one more potential path in front of you, now that you have explored the other two. That's wonderful, because you are 100% certain that you only have enough strength left in you for one more attempt of a path. Surely, this middle path will lead to the top.<</if>> [[Take the middle path.]] <<if $killedLandShark is false>>[[Take the left path.]] <</if>><<if not hasVisited("Shout to the heavens asking for some kind of sign.")>>[[Shout to the heavens asking for some kind of sign.]]<</if>><<if hasVisited("Shout to the heavens asking for some kind of sign.")>>[[Investigate the sign.]]<</if>>

<<if $gatedeath gte 15>>You approach the door and as you prepare to knock, you can swear you hear a growling sound emanating from the wood. Perhaps it would be best not to knock. However, upon closer inspection, you confirm that the door knocker is indeed quite snazzy. [[Sit down at the picnic table.]] [[Punch the door instead!->Punch the door to the house.]] <<if $exhausted is true>>[[Take a nap under the tree.]]<</if>><</if>><<if $gatedeath lt 15>>You approach the door. Upon closer inspection, you confirm that the door knocker is indeed quite snazzy. The knocker makes a satisfying 'thwack' resound from the door. No answer, but you do smell something heavenly emanating from within. [[Sit down at the picnic table.]] [[Punch the door!->Punch the door to the house.]] [[Track down the heavenly scent.]] <<if $exhausted is true>>[[Take a nap under the tree.]]<</if>><</if>>

You punch the door, because why not? <<set $gatedeath to $gatedeath + 1>> <<if $gatedeath lte 1>>The door becomes indignant and it electrocutes you. Why would you do such a thing? <<elseif $gatedeath is 2>>This door becomes indignant as well, and similarly electrocutes you. Why would you do such a thing again? <<elseif $gatedeath is 3>>As the door electrocutes you to death, you begin to sense a pattern. <<elseif $gatedeath is 4>>The doors of this world seem to share a propensity for electricity and a disdain for being punched. Perhaps you shouldn’t continue doing this? <<elseif $gatedeath is 5>>The door, unsurprisingly, electrocutes you to death. Perhaps in your next life you should seek anger management. <<elseif $gatedeath is 6>>The door does…not electrocute you! However, it does splash you with fast-dissolving acid. Variety! <<elseif $gatedeath is 7>>The door does not respond. Sheer panic from trying to figure out what the door is plotting causes you to suffer a stroke. <<elseif $gatedeath is 8>>Upon touching the door you are teleported to the door dimension. Gates, doors, and portals of all shapes and sizes beat you painfully for what feels like weeks. <<elseif $gatedeath is 9>>The door parries your attack and impales you with its splinter sword. <<elseif $gatedeath is 10>>The door is made of fire ants. Millions of fire ants. As you punch this door, the ants swarm and devour you. <<elseif $gatedeath is 11>>As you assault this door, a trap-door opens underneath you. You fall for seemingly forever. <<elseif $gatedeath is 12>>The door opens its gaping maw and devours you with a loud crunch and gulp. <<elseif $gatedeath is 13>>The door sets you aflame with its mental powers. Cool! <<elseif $gatedeath is 14>>The door douses you with 12 gallons liquid nitrogen. You are frozen solid. <<elseif $gatedeath is 15>>The door speaks directly into your mind. "The doors of the world have been made aware of your presence and have named you ‘The One Who Knocks’. You should be keenly aware of any gates, doors, and portals moving forward." While you are stunned by the thought of a psychic door, it shoots a blow dart into your neck. You wonder if it is pois- <<elseif $gatedeath gte 16>>The door immediately recognizes you as "The One Who Knocks". It uses forbidden portal magic to transport you to the door dimension. You are slowly and painfully abraded and dissolved by wood chips over a period of 1000 years.<</if>> [[YOU HAVE DIED. Turn back time?->Walk on to the summit.]]

You make yourself comfortable underneath the tree as the sun is setting. It feels absolutely wonderful as you drift off to sleep for a quick nap. [[Sleep for 10 hours.]]

You sniff your way around the ouside of the house. Your sniffer leads you to a window on the right side of the house. The window is slightly cracked open, just enough to allow a small tray of cupcakes to cool. [[Leave the cupcakes.]] [[Take a cupcake.]]

<<if $cupcaketray gte 1>>You leave the<<if $cupcaketray lte 3>> rest of the<</if>> cupcakes where you found them and return to the front of the house.<</if>><<if $cupcaketray lte 0>>You leave the empty cupcake tray where you found it and return to the front of the house.<</if>> [[Sit down at the picnic table.]] [[Punch the door to the house.]] <<if $exhausted is true>>[[Take a nap under the tree.]]<</if>>

<<pickup '$inventory' unique '[[Sunshine Sparkle Cupcake]]'>><<set $cupcaketray to $cupcaketray - 1>><<set $cupcakes to $cupcakes + 1>><<if $cupcaketray gte 2>>You take a cupcake from the tray. $cupcaketray cupcakes remain. <<elseif $cupcaketray is 1>>You take a cupcake. 1 more cupcake remains in the tray. <<elseif $cupcaketray is 0>>You take the last cupcake from the tray.<</if>> It is frosted with a rainbow of colors and sprinkles. The entire cupcake appears to glow. Are you sure you should be taking this? [[Eat it immediately.]] [[Put the cupcake back.]] [[Leave with your ill-gotten gains.->Leave the cupcakes.]] <<if $cupcaketray gte 1>>[[Take another cupcake.->Take a cupcake.]]<</if>>

<<set $cupcaketray to $cupcaketray + 1>><<set $cupcakes to $cupcakes - 1>>You put the cupcake back. $cupcaketray cupcakes remain in the tray. <<if $cupcakes gte 1>>You are still holding <<if $cupcakes is 1>>1 more cupcake.<</if>><<if $cupcakes gte 2>>$cupcakes more cupcakes.<</if>><</if>> [[Leave the cupcakes.]] <<if $cupcakes gte 2>> [[Eat 1 of your cupcakes->Eat it immediately.]]<</if>><<if $cupcakes is 1>> [[Eat your cupcake->Eat it immediately.]]<</if>><<if $cupcakes lte 0>><<drop '$inventory' '[[Sunshine Sparkle Cupcake]]'>><</if>> <<if $cupcaketray lte 3>>[[Put another cupcake back.->Put the cupcake back.]]<</if>> <<if $cupcaketray gte 1>>[[Take a cupcake from the tray.->Take a cupcake.]]<</if>>

<<set $cupcakes to $cupcakes - 1>><<set $eatencupcakes to $eatencupcakes + 1>>You eat the cupcake immediately. It just may be one of the best things you have ever put in your mouth. <<if $cupcakes is 0>><<if $cupcaketray is 0>>You feel ill. Too much sugar, perhaps?<<drop '$inventory' '[[Sunshine Sparkle Cupcake]]'>><</if>> <<else>>However you feel a little guilty.<</if>> [[Leave the cupcakes.]] <<if $cupcakes gte 1>>[[Eat another cupcake.->Eat it immediately.]]<</if>> <<if $cupcakes gte 1>>[[Put a cupcake back.->Put the cupcake back.]]<</if>> <<if $cupcaketray gte 1>>[[Take another cupcake.->Take a cupcake.]]<</if>>

<<set $exhausted to false>>You slept for 11 hours! <<if $bothdead is true>> You likely would have slept longer, but you hear people talking in hushed whispers above where you lay. You keep your eyes closed. A deep voice says, "It appears we have a visitor." A higher-pitched voice says, "This is the person I told you about! They killed the Land Shark and the Angry Prospector! I bet they want to kill me next. I’m scared." "Oh ho, my friend. You’re scared of everything! And didn’t you advertise a reward for the Land Shark and Angry Prospector? Alive or dead, I believe your poster said." "That’s beside the point! We’re looking at the Sunshine Sparkle Summit Serial Killer here!"<<set $serialkiller to true>> "Come now, I am sure they have a good justification for it." <<elseif $killedLandShark is true>><<if $killedProspector is false>> You likely would have slept longer, but you hear people talking in hushed whispers above where you lay. You keep your eyes closed. A deep voice says, "It appears we have a visitor." A higher-pitched voice says, "This is the person I told you about! They killed the Land Shark! I bet they want to kill me next. I’m scared." "Oh ho, my friend. You’re scared of everything! And didn’t you advertise a reward for the Land Shark? Alive or dead, I believe your poster said." "Am not! And that’s beside the point!" <</if>> "Come now, I am sure they have a good justification for it." <<elseif $killedProspector is true>><<if $killedLandShark is false>> You likely would have slept longer, but you hear people talking in hushed whispers above where you lay. You keep your eyes closed. A deep voice says, "It appears we have a visitor." A higher-pitched voice says, "This is the person I told you about! They killed the Angry Prospector! I bet they want to kill me next. I’m scared." "Oh ho, my friend. You’re scared of everything! And didn’t you advertise a reward for the Angry Prospector? Alive or dead, I believe your poster said." "Am not! And that’s beside the point!" <</if>> "Come now, I am sure they have a good justification for it." <<else>> You likely would have slept longer, but you hear people talking in hushed whispers above where you lay. You keep your eyes closed. A deep voice says, "It appears we have a visitor." A higher-pitched voice says, "What do you think it wants? I’m scared." "Oh ho, my friend. You are scared of everything!" "Am not! And besides, that’s only because everything is out to get me!"<</if>> [[Keep your eyes closed and continue listening.]]

You open your eyes and sit up in a smooth motion. You blink the sleep from your eyes in time to see a colorful horse run at a gallop until it's a good distance away. There is a kindly looking man staring down at you. He is wearing a very stylish, blue tuxedo. Deep voice says, "Greetings, friend! You seemed to be quite tired, given the length of your nap." He continues, "Before we get too deep in the weeds, would you please tell me your name?" "[["Yes."->PlayerNameJoke][$playername to "Yes"]]" "[["No."->PlayerNameJoke][$playername to "No"]]"

You keep your eyes closed and keep listening.<<set $exhaustion to 0>><<set $exhausted to false>> <<if $cupcaketray is 4>> The high-pitched voice postulates: "I don't like them. I bet they would have eaten my cupcakes if they had the chance!" Deep voice retorts: "Now you’re just speculating without any semblance of proof." <<elseif $cupcaketray is 3>> The high-pitched voice postulates: <<if $cupcakes is 0>>"I bet they took my missing cupcake and ate it!"<</if>><<if $cupcakes is 1>><<set $caughtcupcakes to 1>>"Look! They are holding one of my cupcakes! It’s all squished. Did they roll over it in their sleep?"<</if>> <<elseif $cupcaketray is 2>> The high-pitched voice postulates:<<if $cupcakes is 0>>"I bet they took my missing cupcakes and ate them!"<</if>><<if $cupcakes is 1>><<set $caughtcupcakes to 1>>"Look! They’ve got one of my missing cupcakes! It’s all squished, though. Did they roll over it in their sleep? I bet they ate the other one, already!"<</if>><<if $cupcakes is 2>><<set $caughtcupcakes to 2>>"Look! They’ve got my two missing cupcakes! They’re all squished, though. Did they roll over them in their sleep?"<</if>> <<elseif $cupcaketray is 1>> The high-pitched voice postulates:<<if $cupcakes is 0>>"I bet they took my missing cupcakes and ate them!"<</if>><<if $cupcakes is 1>><<set $caughtcupcakes to 1>>"Look! They’ve got one of my missing cupcakes! It’s all squished, though. Did they roll over it in their sleep? I bet they ate the other two, already!"<</if>><<if $cupcakes is 2>><<set $caughtcupcakes to 2>>"Look! They’ve got two of my missing cupcakes! They’re all squished, though. Did they roll over them in their sleep? I bet they ate the other one, already!"<</if>><<if $cupcakes is 3>><<set $caughtcupcakes to 3>>"Look! They’ve got my three missing cupcakes! They’re all squished, though. Did they roll over them in their sleep?"<</if>> <<elseif $cupcaketray is 0>> The high-pitched voice postulates:<<if $cupcakes is 0>>"I bet they ate all of my cupcakes!"<</if>><<if $cupcakes is 1>><<set $caughtcupcakes to 1>>"Look! They’ve got one of my missing cupcakes! It’s all squished, though. Did they roll over it in their sleep? I bet they ate the other three, already!"<</if>><<if $cupcakes is 2>><<set $caughtcupcakes to 2>>"Look! They’ve got two of my missing cupcakes! They’re all squished, though. Did they roll over them in their sleep? I bet they ate the other two, already!"<</if>><<if $cupcakes is 3>><<set $caughtcupcakes to 3>>"Look! They’ve got three of my missing cupcakes! They’re all squished, though. Did they roll over them in their sleep?"<</if>><<if $cupcakes is 4>><<set $caughtcupcakes to 4>>"Look! They’ve got all of my missing cupcakes! They’re all squished, though. Did they roll over them in their sleep?"<</if>><</if>><<set $caughtcupcakes to $cupcakes>><<set $cupcakes to 0>><<if $caughtcupcakes gte 1>> Deep voice concurs: "Okay, I will agree with your anger here. Stealing is quite wrong." <</if>> [[Open your eyes and sit up.]]

You ask where you are. The DM exposits: "I believe I just told you! You are on Sunshine Sparkle Summit (forgive the name, please)! Moreover, you are in the ''Dimension of Discord''. Many years ago, this world used to be called 'Fred'. That was until all of the...//weird// things started happening. "Something tells me you are not from here." <<if not hasVisited("You're right, I am definitely not from here!")>>"[[You're right, I am definitely not from here!]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("Who Para")>>"[["Who is Para?"->Who Para]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("I'm sorry I stole your cupcakes.")>><<if $caughtcupcakes is 1>>"[["I'm sorry I stole your cupcake."->I'm sorry I stole your cupcakes.]]" <</if>><<if $caughtcupcakes gte 2>>"[["I'm sorry I stole your cupcakes."->I'm sorry I stole your cupcakes.]]" <</if>><</if>>"[["Weird things?"->Weird things?]]"

You ask the deep voiced, kindly looking, blue tuxedoed man who he is. "Ah! Excellent question! I am but one Davricle the Majestic. Though I am not just //any// Davricle the Majestic! I am //The// Davricle the Majestic. I'm sure you've heard of me. Friends call me 'The DM' for short." "[[Uh...Wouldn't that be 'The DtM' for short?|Davricle Ignores]]" [["Never heard of you."]] "[["Where am I?"->Where am I?]]" <<if not hasVisited("Who Para")>>"[["Who is Para?"->Who Para]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("I'm sorry I stole your cupcakes.")>><<if $caughtcupcakes is 1>>"[["I'm sorry I stole your cupcake."->I'm sorry I stole your cupcakes.]]"<</if>><<if $caughtcupcakes gte 2>>"[["I'm sorry I stole your cupcakes."->I'm sorry I stole your cupcakes.]]"<</if>><</if>>

You ask who Para is. The DM points at the colorful horse in the distance. She is attempting to hide in plain sight, but is clearly failing. You notice she has a horn on her head. "Para is that lovely creature you see over there. Her full name is Paranoid Unicorn, but I shortened it to Para because I like to abbrev. everything." Para shouts back: "You're talking about me, aren't you!?" The DM lets out a heavy sigh. "When I made her, I had intended to create a highly intelligent, brilliantly colored, intimidating war horse that was always on alert. What I got was what you see there. Wouldn't trade her for the world though." "[["Wait, you made her?!"->Wait, you made her?!]]"

You apologize for being a pastry pilferer. Davricle replies, "Technically, they were Para's cupcakes. But no matter; she can always make more, and you'll probably not lose THAT many points from your score later. We'll just chalk it up to you being quite hungry and not thinking clearly. After all, it did take you <<print turns()>> turns to get here!" [["...Turns? ...Score?"->Davricle Ignores]] "[["Where am I?"->Where am I?]]"<<if not hasVisited("Who Para")>> "[["Who is Para?"->Who Para]]"<</if>>

<<if previous() is "Who Davricle">>You ask Davricle the Majestic about his abbreviation schema.<</if>><<if previous()is "Who Davricle2">>You ask Davricle the Majestic about his abbreviation schema.<</if>><<if previous()is "I'm sorry I stole your cupcakes.">>You ask Davricle the Majestic what he meant by "turns" and "score".<</if>><<if previous()is "Wait, you made her?!">>You ask Davricle the Majestic if he is an all-powerful wizard.<</if>> He ignores your question. "[["Where am I?"->Where am I?]]"<<if not hasVisited("Who Para")>> "[["Who is Para?"->Who Para]]"<</if>><<if not hasVisited("I'm sorry I stole your cupcakes.")>><<if $caughtcupcakes is 1>> "[["I'm sorry I stole your cupcake."->I'm sorry I stole your cupcakes.]]"<</if>><<if $caughtcupcakes gte 2>> "[["I'm sorry I stole your cupcakes."->I'm sorry I stole your cupcakes.]]"<</if>><</if>>

You tell Davricle the Magnificent that you have never heard of him. His face twitches involuntarily, but he laughs, "Well that's probably because you're not from around here. Am I right?" "[["You're right, I am definitely not from here!"->You're right, I am definitely not from here!]]" <<if not hasVisited("Where am I?")>>"[["Where am I?"->Where am I?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("Who Para")>>"[["Who is Para?"->Who Para]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("I'm sorry I stole your cupcakes.")>><<if $caughtcupcakes is 1>>"[["I'm sorry I stole your cupcake."->I'm sorry I stole your cupcakes.]]"<</if>><<if $caughtcupcakes gte 2>>"[["I'm sorry I stole your cupcakes."->I'm sorry I stole your cupcakes.]]"<</if>><</if>>

You confirm that Davricle's assumption is right. He nods. "Of course I am right." <<if not hasVisited("Where am I?")>>"[[Where am I?]]" <</if>><<if hasVisited("Where am I?")>>"[[Weird things?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("Who Para")>>"[["Who is Para?"->Who Para]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("I'm sorry I stole your cupcakes.")>><<if $caughtcupcakes is 1>>"[["I'm sorry I stole your cupcake."->I'm sorry I stole your cupcakes.]]"<</if>><<if $caughtcupcakes gte 2>>"[["I'm sorry I stole your cupcakes."->I'm sorry I stole your cupcakes.]]"<</if>><</if>>

You ask Davricle the Majestic about the weird things that he mentioned. He muses, "Indeed. Some time ago, nigh on a century I believe, a hitherto unknown event caused dimensional portals to open up at random times all over our fair world. "It's impossible to predict when and where these portals will open, but each time they do, something is deposited in this dimension that was ripped from an alternate one. It's been quite inconvenient." <<set $caughtcupcakes to $caughtcupcakes + $eatencupcakes>> "[["Alternate dimensions? My head hurts."->Alternate dimensions? My head hurts.]]" "[["Is that how I got here?"->Is that how I got here?]]"

Incredulously, you ask, "Wait, you made her!?" Matter-of-factly the DM replies: "Of course I did. In my youth I dabbled in making magical creatures. Alas, I was not too skilled at it, hence why my experiment to create her resulted in a rainbow colored, highly anxious, excessively paranoid, unicorn." Para shouts again: "Now you're definitely talking about me, aren't you!" Davricle smiles, "She certainly has her charms." "[[So are you a super powerful wizard?->Davricle Ignores]]" <<if hasVisited("Where am I?")>>"[[Weird things?]]" <</if>>"[["Where am I?"->Where am I?]]" <<if not hasVisited("I'm sorry I stole your cupcakes.")>><<if $caughtcupcakes is 1>>"[["I'm sorry I stole your cupcake."|I'm sorry I stole your cupcakes.]]" <</if>><<if $caughtcupcakes gte 2>>"[["I'm sorry I stole your cupcakes."->I'm sorry I stole your cupcakes.]]" <</if>><</if>>

<<set $DMdeath to $DMdeath + 1>>You can't help yourself and ask why he let Para name this place "Sunshine Sparkle Summit." His brow twitches, and his expression sours. He begins muttering in an incomprehensible language and moving his arms in strange motions. You open your mouth to ask what he is doing when a piano falls from the sky and crushes you. Pity. [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?|previous()]]

You ask the deep voiced, kindly looking, blue tuxedoed man who he is. "Ah! Excellent first question! I am but one 'Davricle the Majestic'. Though I am not just //any// Davricle the Majestic! I am //THE// Davricle the Majestic. I'm sure you've heard of me. Friends call me 'The DM' for short." "[["Uh...Wouldn't that be 'The DtM' for short?"->Davricle Ignores]]" [["Never heard of you."]] <<if not hasVisited("Why is this place called Sunshine Sparkle Summit?")>>"[["Why is this place called Sunshine Sparkle Summit?"->Why is this place called Sunshine Sparkle Summit?]]" <</if>><<if hasVisited("Why is this place called Sunshine Sparkle Summit?")>><<if not hasVisited("Who Para")>>"[["Who is Para?"->Who Para]]" <</if>><</if>><<if hasVisited("Why is this place called Sunshine Sparkle Summit?")>><<if not hasVisited("Why did you let Para name this place 'Sunshine Sparkle Summit'?")>>"[["Why did you let Para name this place 'Sunshine Sparkle Summit'?"->Why did you let Para name this place 'Sunshine Sparkle Summit'?]]" <</if>><</if>><<if not hasVisited("Where am I?")>>"[["Where am I?"->Where am I?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("I'm sorry I stole your cupcakes.")>><<if $caughtcupcakes is 1>>"[["I'm sorry I stole your cupcake."->I'm sorry I stole your cupcakes.]]"<</if>><<if $caughtcupcakes gte 2>>"[["I'm sorry I stole your cupcakes."->I'm sorry I stole your cupcakes.]]"<</if>><</if>>

You ask why this place is called Sunshine Sparkle Summit. He let's out a short, stifled laugh."Well for some reason I deigned to let Para name this mountaintop. Don't ask me why." "[["Why did you let Para name this place 'Sunshine Sparkle Summit'?"->Why did you let Para name this place 'Sunshine Sparkle Summit'?]]" <<if not hasVisited("Where am I?")>>"[["Where am I?"->Where am I?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("Who Para")>>"[["Who is Para?"->Who Para]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("I'm sorry I stole your cupcakes.")>><<if $caughtcupcakes is 1>>"[["I'm sorry I stole your cupcake."->I'm sorry I stole your cupcakes.]]"<</if>><<if $caughtcupcakes gte 2>>"[["I'm sorry I stole your cupcakes."->I'm sorry I stole your cupcakes.]]"<</if>><</if>>

You express your disdain of theoretical physics. He nods, "I understand. I have had met many people during my long life who do not share my love of the sciences. Suffice it to say that it would seem you are now a permanent resident of the ''Dimension of Discord'', at least for the time being. "However, dwell not on the past. You must look forward to the future! There are many exciting adventures you can take, here!" "Alternatively, you may wish not to adventure, and to simply retire, instead. Should you so choose, you are welcome to stay here with Para and myself." Para chimes in from a distance, "I didn't agree to that!" [["Where would I even begin?"]] "[[Retire. I am definitely retiring.]]"

You ask if that is how you arrived in Discord. <<set $exhausted to true>> He nods, "That would be my incredibly educated guess, yes. It would seem that you are now a permanent resident of the ''Dimension of Discord'', at least for the time being. "However, dwell not on the past. You must look forward to the future! There are many exciting adventures you can take, here!" "Alternatively, you may wish not to adventure, and to simply retire, instead. Should you so choose, you are welcome to stay here with Para and myself." Para chimes in from a distance, "I didn't agree to that!" [["Where would I even begin?"]] "[[Retire. I am definitely retiring.]]"

You seem to be deciding to retire atop Sunshine Sparkle Summit. Are you sure that you would like to retire? <<if $hasMap is false>>"[[Well, if not, then where would I even begin?->"Where would I even begin?"]]"<</if>><<if $hasMap is true>>"[[Maybe I should reconsider...->previous()]]"<</if>> "[["Yes, I am sure!"->Retire atop Sunshine Sparkle Summit.]]"

You decide to take a nap in the house. Rather, your exhaustion decides for you. Despite your head swimming with the information you were just inundated with, you fall asleep nearly instantly for a quick nap. [[Sleep for an hour.]]

You sleep for a quick 11 hour nap. When you wake up, you feel well rested and quite comfortable.<<set $exhaustion to 0>><<set $exhausted to false>> You feel your head has cleared as you step outside into the fresh mountain air, and you can make an informed decision. Davricle is standing by the tree where you first met and gives you a nod as you approach. You nod back. Looking out from the summit you see a veritable menagerie of locales to travel to. You have no idea what any of them are. <<if hasVisited("Search the pamphlet holder.")>>[[Complain that the sign at the base of the mountain was out of maps.|Complain Map]]<<else>>[[Complain that you do not have a map.|Complain Map]]<</if>> "[["I think I should just retire."|Retire atop Sunshine Sparkle Summit.]]"

You ask where you would start your adventure, should you choose to go on one. "Look all around you!" The tuxedoed-wizard replies, while gesticulating toward the vast expanse in front of you. "Adventure is everywhere. All you need do is ask." <<if $exhausted is true>><<set $exhaustion to 5>>He continues, "However, you look like you're about to die of exhaustion! Before you make any decisions, you should take a good, long, nap in one of the upstairs bedrooms. The door should be unlocked." [[Take a nap in the house.]] [[Soldier on through your exhaustion!]] <<elseif $exhausted is false>>You look out from the summit and see a veritable menagerie of locales to travel to. You have no idea what any of them are. <<if hasVisited("Search the pamphlet holder.")>>[[Complain that the sign at the base of the mountain was out of maps.|Complain Map]]<<else>>[[Complain that you do not have a map.|Complain Map]]<</if>> "[["I think I should just retire."|Retire atop Sunshine Sparkle Summit.]]" <</if>>

You choose to end your adventure before it even starts! The idyllic location more than makes up for the company as you coast through your remaining days hiking, baking, and having an altogether jolly time. Though you have only been in The Dimension of Discord for a short time, you conclude that you can be happy and content here. It's just a shame that you will miss out on all of that adventure... [[YOU HAVE LIVED! View your score card?->Thanks for playing!]]

<<set $noreturn to visitedTags("noreturn")>>Thanks for playing ''Dimension of Discord''! While we work on adding more content (which we are //constantly// doing) to the game, please check out your score card! <center>[[Click here to see your score card!->Score card!]]</center> Keep your eyes open for our next board game, Dimensions of Discord Online! If you enjoyed playing the game, please also screenshot your score card and share it with us and/or social media! We'd also love to hear your comments, criticisms, and any bugs you may have found. Thanks! Obscure Reference Games. [email protected]

You fight through your exhaustion. Unfortunately, The DM's assessment of your situation was correct, and before long you collapse and die from exhaustion. How anticlimactic!<<set $envirodeath to $envirodeath + 1>> [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?->"Where would I even begin?"]]

<<if hasVisited("Search the pamphlet holder.")>>You lament the fact that there were no free maps available from the sign at the mountain's base.<<else>>You lament the fact that you find yourself without a map.<</if>> "Oh." Davricle remarks. "Duck." [["What?"]] [[Duck down!]]

You set off blindly, without saying a word. Really, this whole leaving without saying "goodbye" thing is quite rude. With your eyes closed it's hard to get a bearing on which direction you are heading, but you are sure you'll figure it out. [[YOU HAVE LIVED! View your score card?->Thanks for playing!]]

You unfurl the map penned by the Cantankerous Cartographer<<if $killedCC is true>>, who you murdered in cold blood. Murderer<</if>>. It shows the following labeled points of interest: 1) [[The Arcane Sanctum at Purfani to the North]]; 2) [[The Cavernous Depths of Docura to the Northwest]]; 3) [[Zulinia's Bottomles Chasm to the Northeast]]; 4) [[The Observatory of the Heavens to the East]]; 5) [[Pillory Point to the West]]; 6) [[The Sands of Time to the South]]; 7) [[Deluge, The Submerged Shrine to the Southeast]]. <<if $seenVestibule is true>>8) [[You've also scribbled a note showing the location of Reality's Vestibule.]]<</if>> [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]

You question the meaning of what Davricle said. Davricle frowns as you are smacked in the face by something. It hurts, but not enough to knock you over. When you look down, you can see a rolled up scroll of parchment. The DM let's out a stunted chuckle, "Well, now you have a map!" [["Why did this hit me in the face?"]]

Instinctually, you duck down immediately. Davricle frowns as you are smacked in the face by something. It hurts, but not enough to knock you over. When you look down, you can see a rolled up scroll of parchment. The DM let's out a stunted chuckle, "Well, now you have a map. Wow, they even anticipated that you'd duck!" [["Why did this hit me in the face?"]]

You question why a map was flung into your face.<<set $hasMap to true>><<pickup '$inventory' unique '[[Map of the Dimension of Discord]]'>> "Well, that would be the work of the Cantankerous Cartographer." The DM states matter-of-factly while pointing to the sky. "They've been looking for something to be ornery about all morning." You look skyward and spot a creature that is a mix of not-quite-an-owl and not-quite-a-pug. It's wrinkled face lets loose a grumpy bark-squawk in your general direction. The DM continues, "Excellent aim. Masterful cartography skills. Terrible disposition!" [[Unfurl the Map Scroll.]] [[Yell obscenities at the Cantankerous Cartographer.]] <<if $hasBow is true>>[[Draw your Bow of Questionable Durability and shoot the Cantankerous Cartographer!]]<</if>><<if $hasSword is true>>[[Draw your Sword of Tetanus and chuck it at the Cantankerous Cartographer!]]<</if>>

You unfurl the map scroll. You find yourself in agreement with The DM; the map is beautifully drawn in a way that could only be penned by one with a masterful eye for detail. <<if $killedCC is true>> Maybe you should not have killed the Cantankerous Cartographer, murderer.<</if>> The map highlights roads and pathways and gives names to places that you can see from this summit. This will likely be useful moving foward!<<set $hasMap to true>> The DM<<if $killedCC is true>>'s anger seems to have dissipated at least slightly, and he<</if>> is looking at you expectantly. <<if $hasd20 is false>><<if hasVisited("Sit down at the picnic table.")>> [[Ask if you can take the 20-sided die.]]<</if>><</if>> [[Go speak with Para the Paranoid Unicorn.]] [[Ask about Locations on the Map.]]

You yell obscenities at the Cantankerous Cartographer. It squawks back at you sounds that can only be avian-canine obscenities. Touché. [[Unfurl the Map Scroll.]] <<if $hasBow is true>>[[Draw your Bow of Questionable Durability and shoot the Cantankerous Cartographer!]]<</if>><<if $hasSword is true>>[[Draw your Sword of Tetanus and chuck it at the Cantankerous Cartographer!]]<</if>>

You draw your Bow of Questionable Durability and shoot at the Cantankerous Cartographer! Your arrow flies true and finds it's mark, striking the Cantankerous Cartographer straight through the chest. It squawks loudly, then falls to the ground with a dull thud.<<set $killedCC to true>> As you pull your arrows from the creature's body, Davricle the Majestic stares at you incredibly displeased. "What a rude thing to do! Why would you kill CeeCee? I am quite disappointed." Davricle pulls out a notepad and quill, writes something down, then puts both away. Perhaps that was not a great idea. [[Unfurl the Map Scroll.]]

You <<if visitedTags("askmap") gte 2>>return to <</if>>ask the DM about some of the locations that you see labled on the map. "Hey DM, can you tell me about this place labled... <<if not hasVisited("'The Arcane Sanctum at Purfani'?")>>[['The Arcane Sanctum at Purfani'?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("'The Observatory of the Heavens'?")>>[['The Observatory of the Heavens'?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("'The Sands of Time'?")>>[['The Sands of Time'?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("'Pillory Point'?")>>[['Pillory Point'?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("'The Cavernous Depths of Docura'?")>>[['The Cavernous Depths of Docura'?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("'Deluge, The Submerged Shrine'?")>>[['Deluge, The Submerged Shrine'?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("'Zulinia's Bottomless Chasm'?")>>[['Zulinia's Bottomless Chasm'?]]" <</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") is 7>>"[[It's not on the map, but what is that place?]]" <</if>>Instead, you say: "[["I think I should just retire."|Retire. I am definitely retiring.]]" <<if $hasd20 is false>><<if hasVisited("Sit down at the picnic table.")>>[[Ask if you can take the 20-sided die.]] <</if>><</if>>[[Go speak with Para the Paranoid Unicorn.]] <<if visitedTags("MapLocation") gte 1>>[[Set off on your way.]]<</if>>

You point back toward the picnic table and ask if you can take the 20-sided die. "You want to take my Icosahedron of Variable Destiny?" Asks Davricle the Magnificent, quizzicially. [["Yes, I do."]] [["On second thought, no."]]

You walk away from the DM and look for Para, the Paranoid Unicorn. You find her crouching in the nearby medium-height grass. She tenses up as you approach, ready to spring away at the slightest provocation. "Uh, ...hi. What, uh...what can I do for you?" She hesitantly inquires. "[[Are you afraid of me?]]" <<if not hasVisited("Why did Davricle the Majestic let you name this place?")>>"[[Why did Davricle the Majestic let you name this place?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("So, I saw you were offering a reward for killing the Angry Prospector...")>><<if not hasVisited("So, those were your cupcakes? Sorry for stealing.")>><<if $caughtcupcake gte 1>>"[[So, those were your cupcakes? Sorry for stealing.]]" <</if>><<if $caughtcupcakes lte 0>>"[[Did I hear you mention something about cupcakes?|So, those were your cupcakes? Sorry for stealing.]]" <</if>><</if>><<if not hasVisited("So I saw you were offering a reward for killing the Angry Prospector...")>><<if $seenposter gte 1>>"[[So, I saw you were offering a reward for killing the Angry Prospector...]]" <</if>><</if>><</if>><<if $cupcakes lte 0>>[[Go back and ask the DM about places on the map.|Ask about Locations on the Map.]] <</if>><<if $cupcakes gte 1>>[[Go back and ask the DM about places on the map.|Tupperware]]<</if>>

You confirm that you wish to take the Icosahedron of Variable Destiny with you. Davricle the Magnificent appears amused. "By all means, yes! Take the cursed thing from my sight! It never rolls well for me at all." You have obtained the Icosahedron of Variable Destiny! Congratulations?<<set $hasd20 to true>><<pickup '$inventory' unique '[[Icosahedron of Variable Destiny]]'>> [[Go speak with Para the Paranoid Unicorn.]] [[Ask about Locations on the Map.]]

You change your mind about taking the Icosahedron of Variable Destiny. "Oh. Very well." states the DM. "[["On second thought, yes."->"Yes, I do."]]" [[Go speak with Para the Paranoid Unicorn.]] [[Ask about Locations on the Map.]]

<<set $Achievements to 50>><center><h1>''Score Card!''</h1></center> <center><h2>''Deaths''</h2></center><ul> <<if $msdeath gte 1>><li>Deaths by Mucilaginous Sphere: <<print $msdeath>></li><</if>> <<if $gatedeath gte 1>><li>Deaths by Gates/Doors: <<print $gatedeath>></li><</if>><<if visited("Score card!") lte 1>><<set $gatedeathscore to $gatedeath * 350>><</if>> <<if $deathbytroll gte 1>><li>Deaths by Toll Troll: <<print $deathbytroll>></li><</if>> <<if $banditdeath gte 1>><li>Deaths by Bandits: <<print $banditdeath>></li><</if>> <<if $APdeath gte 1>><li>Deaths by Angry Prospector: <<print $APdeath>></li><</if>> <<if $LSdeath gte 1>><li>Deaths by Land Shark: <<print $LSdeath>></li><</if>> <<if $golemdeath gte 1>><li>Deaths by Tremor Golem: <<print $golemdeath>></li><</if>> <<if $guarddeath gte 1>><li>Deaths by City Guards: <<print $guarddeath>></li><</if>> <<if $newtdeath gte 1>><li>Deaths by Chaotic Newt: <<print $newtdeath>></li><</if>> <<if $envirodeath gte 1>><li>Deaths by Environment: <<print $envirodeath>></li><</if>> <<if $NPCdeath gte 1>><li>Deaths by Common Folk: <<print $NPCdeath>></li><</if>> <<if $DMdeath gte 1>><li>Deaths by The DM: <<print $DMdeath>></li><</if>> <<if $DVdeath gte 1>><li>Deaths by The Disembodied Voice: <<print $DVdeath>></li><</if>> <<if $sleepdeath gte 1>><li>Deaths from Sleep Deprivation: <<print $sleepdeath>></li><</if>> <center>''Total Deaths:''<<print $totaldeath>>''<<if $totaldeath gte 100>> ''~WHAT!? How is that even possible!?~'' <<if $showpoints is true>>+45000 points<</if>><<set $score to $score + 45000>> <<elseif $totaldeath gte 41>> ''~Someone was clearly having fun!~'' <<if $showpoints is true>>+2,500 points<</if>><<set $score to $score + 2500>> <<elseif $totaldeath gte 21>> ''~Okay, you must have been TRYING to die.~'' <<if $showpoints is true>>+5000 points<</if>><<set $score to $score + 5000>> <<elseif $totaldeath gte 11>> ''~Hmm. You can do better.~'' <<if $showpoints is true>>+10000 points<</if>><<set $score to $score + 10000>> <<elseif $totaldeath gte 5>> ''~Not a bad run at all! Great job, adventurer!~'' <<if $showpoints is true>>+15000 points<</if>><<set $score to $score + 15000>> <<elseif $totaldeath gte 1>> ''~An expert run! Well done, adventurer!~'' <<if $showpoints is true>>+25000 points<</if>><<set $score to $score + 25000>> <<elseif $totaldeath lte 0>> ''~A FLAWLESS run! How boring.~'' <<if $showpoints is true>>+50000 points<</if>><<set $score to $score + 50000>><</if>> <center><h2>''Achievements''</h2></center><ul> <<if $totaldeath lte 0>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><h3><center>You reached the end without dying!</center></h3><</if>> <<if $hasBow is true>><<if $bowtype is "Bow of Questionable Durability">><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You acquired the Bow of Questionable Durability! <<if $showpoints is true>>+5000 points<</if>><<set $score to $score + 5000>></li><</if>><</if>><<if $hasBow is true>><<if $bowtype is "Perfect Pierce Longbow">><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 2>><li>You acquired the Perfect Pierce Longbow! <<if $showpoints is true>>+30000 points<</if>><<set $score to $score + 30000>></li><</if>><</if>> <<if $hasSword is true>><<if $swordtype is "Sword of Tetanus">><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You acquired the Sword of Tetanus! <<if $showpoints is true>>+5000 points <</if>><<set $score to $score + 5000>></li><</if>><<if $swordtype is "Obsidian Steel Scimitar">><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 2>><li>You acquired the Obsidian Steel Scimitar! <<if $showpoints is true>>+30000 points <</if>><<set $score to $score + 30000>></li><</if>><</if>> <<if $hasShield is true>><<if $shieldtype is "Kite Shield of the Sun Champion">><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You acquired the Kite Shield of the Sun Champion! <<if $showpoints is true>>+30000 points <</if>><<set $score to $score + 30000>></li><</if>><</if>> <<if $goldtotal gte 1>><<if visited("Score card!") lte 1>><<set $goldscore to $goldtotal * 2>><</if>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You've managed to acquire a Big Ol' Bag o' Gold!<<if $goldtotal gte 2>> <<print $goldtotal>> of them in fact!<<set $score to $score + $goldscore>><</if>> <<if $showpoints is true>>+7500 points<<if $goldtotal gte 2>> each! <</if>><<if $goldscore gt 75000>><<set $goldscore to 75000>><</if>><</if>> </li><</if>> <<if $platinumtotal gte 1>><<if visited("Score card!") lte 1>><<set $platinumscore to $platinumtotal * 100000>><</if>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You've collected <<print $platinumtotal>> lil ol' pouch<<if $platinumtotal gte 1>>es<</if>> o' platinum!<<if $showpoints is true>>+75000 points<<if $platinumtotal gte 2>> each! <</if>><</if>> <<set $score to $score + $platinumscore>></li><</if>> <<if $gatedeath gte 15>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You are "The One Who Knocks!" <<if $showpoints is true>>+40000 points<</if>><<set $score to $score + 40000>></li><</if>> <<if $standby is true>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You stood by and watched the Toll Troll get murdered! <<if $showpoints is true>>+1000 points<</if>><<set $score to $score + 1000>></li><</if>> <<if $redbutton is true>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You found the button under the oatmeal! <<if $showpoints is true>>+7500 points<</if>><<set $score to $score + 7500>></li><</if>> <<if $greenbutton is true>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You pressed the green button in the lichen! <<if $showpoints is true>>+2300 points<</if>><<set $score to $score + 2300>></li><</if>> <<if $needglasses is false>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You do not need glasses! <<if $showpoints is true>>+4500 points<</if>><<set $score to $score + 4500>></li><</if>> <<if $teasetroll is true>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You teased the Toll Troll! You bully! <<if $showpoints is true>>– 1000 Points<</if>><<set $score to $score - 1000>></li><</if>> <<if $tetanus is true>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You died of fast-acting tetanus! <<if $showpoints is true>>+6500 points<</if>><<set $score to $score + 6500>></li><</if>> <<if $amputate is true>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You died of amateur self-amputation! <<if $showpoints is true>>+6500 points<</if>><<set $score to $score + 6500>></li><</if>> <<if $sealin is true>><<if $standby is false>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You left the Bandits and Toll Troll trapped! <<if $showpoints is true>>+7500 points<</if>><<set $score to $score + 7500>></li><</if>><</if>> <<if $hasMedallion is true>><<if $trolldead is false>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You made a friend of the Toll Troll! <<if $showpoints is true>>+10000 points<</if>><<set $score to $score + 10000>></li><</if>><</if>> <<if $banditfriend is true>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You made a friend of Ray Diamond, the Bandit King! ...Sort of. <<if $showpoints is true>>+10000 points <</if>><<set $score to $score + 10000>></li><</if>> <<if $hasMedallion is false>><<if $trolldead is true>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You murdered the Toll Troll! <<if $showpoints is true>>+10000 points <</if>><<set $score to $score + 10000>></li><</if>><</if>> <<if $hasMedallion is true>><<if $trolldead is true>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You murdered your friend, the Toll Troll! <<if $showpoints is true>>+6250 points<</if>><<set $score to $score + 6250>></li><</if>><</if>> <<if $calm is true>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You calmly walked out of the tunnels! <<if $showpoints is true>>+1780 points <</if>><<set $score to $score + 1780>></li><</if>> <<if $deadbandits is true>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You brutally murdered the Bandit King and his gang of Bandits! <<if $showpoints is true>>+10000 points <</if>><<set $score to $score + 10000>></li><</if>> <<if $warnsign is true>><<if $ignoresign is false>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You heeded the warning of the Sunshine Sparkle Summit sign! <<if $showpoints is true>>+7400 points <</if>><<set $score to $score + 7400>></li><</if>><</if>><<if $warnsign is true>> <<if $ignoresign is true>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><<set $score to $score + 3700>><li>You stupidly ignored the warning of the Sunshine Sparkle Summit sign! <<if $showpoints is true>>+3400 points <</if>></li><</if>><</if>> <<if $killedLandShark is true>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You arrowed the Land Shark to death! <<if $showpoints is true>>+10000 points <</if>><<set $score to $score + 10000>></li><</if>> <<if $killedProspector is true>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You punched the Angry Prospector to his doom! <<if $showpoints is true>>+ 10000 points <</if>><<set $score to $score + 10000>></li><</if>><<set $caughtcupcakes to $caughtcupcakes - $eatencupcakes>> <<if $caughtcupcakes gte 1>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You got caught stealing<<if $caughtcupcakes is 1>> a cupcake! Hey, you thief! <<if $showpoints is true>>– 2,500 points <</if>><</if>><<if $caughtcupcakes gte 2>> $caughtcupcakes cupcakes! Hey, you thief! <<if $showpoints is true>>–2,500 points each<</if>><</if>><<if visited("Score card!") lte 1>><<set $caughtcupcakes to $caughtcupcakes * 2500>><</if>><<set $score to $score - $caughtcupcakes>></li><</if>> <<if $cupcakes gte 1>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You were given <<if $givencupcakes is 1>> a cupcake! Cool! <<if $showpoints is true>>+2,500 points <</if>><</if>><<if $givencupcakes gte 2>> $givencupcakes cupcakes! Cool! <<if $showpoints is true>>+2,500 points each<</if>><</if>><<if visited("Score card!") lte 1>><<set $givencupcakes to $givencupcakes * 2500>><</if>><<set $score to $score - $givencupcakes>></li><</if>> <<if $hasd20 is true>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You acquired the Icosahedron of Variable Destiny!<<set $d20 to random(1, 20)>><<if visited("Score card!") lte 1>><<set $d20 to $d20 * 1000>><</if>> <<if $showpoints is true>>+<<print $d20>> randomized points<</if>><<set $score to $score + $d20>></li><</if>> <<if $nat1 gte 1>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You rolled a "Natural 1"<<if $d20roll gte 2>> $nat1 times out of $d20roll rolls<</if>>! Bummer! <<if visited("Score card!") lte 1>><<set $nat1score to $nat1 * 420>><</if>><<set $score to $score - $nat1score>><<if $showpoints is true>> -<<print $nat1score>> points <</if>></li><</if>> <<if $nat20 gte 1>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You rolled a "Natural 20"<<if $d20roll gte 2>> $nat20 times out of $d20roll rolls<</if>>! Awesome! <<if $nat20 lte 20>><<if visited("Score card!") lte 1>><<set $nat20score to $nat20 * 4200>><</if>><</if>><<if $nat20 gte 21>><<set $nat20score to 84000>><</if>><<set $score to $score + $nat20score>><<if $showpoints is true>>+<<print $nat20score>> points <</if>></li><</if>> <<if $serialkiller is true>><li>You've earned the title, "Sunshine Sparkle Summit Serial Killer!" <<if $showpoints is true>>+30000 points<<set $score to $score + 30000>><</if>></li><</if>> <<if $DMdeath gte 1>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You’ve angered The DM<<if $DMdeath gte 2>> $DMdeath times<</if>>! Whoops!<<if visited("Score card!") lte 1>><<set $DMdeathscore to $DMdeath * 1000>><</if>><<set $score to $score - $DMdeathscore>><<if $showpoints is true>> -<<print $DMdeathscore>> points<</if>></li><</if>> <<if $killedCC is true>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You slaughtered the Cantankerous Cartographer...why?! <<if $showpoints is true>>–10000 points<</if>><<set $score to $score - 10000>></li><</if>> <<if visitedTags("MapLocation") gte 7>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You spotted the Incongruous Confluence, much to the DM’s surprise! <<if $showpoints is true>>+7500 points<</if>><<set $score to $score + 7500>></li><</if>> <<if $golem is true>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You activated the dormant Tremor Golem<<if $golemgood is true>> with the secret code<</if>>! <<if $golemgood is true>><<if $showpoints is true>>+20000 points<</if>><<set $score to $score + 20000>><</if>><<if $golemgood is false>><<if $showpoints is true>>+ 10000 points<</if>><<set $score to $score + 10000>><</if>></li><</if>> <<if $golemsmash gte 1>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>Your Tremor Golem pulverized your enemies<<if $golemsmash gte 2>> $golemsmash times<</if>>! They //probably// deserved it! <<if visited("Score card!") lte 1>><<set $golemsmash to $golemsmash * 10000>><</if>><<if $golemsmash gte 100000>><<set $golemsmash to 100000>><</if>><<set $score to $score + $golemsmash>><<if $showpoints is true>>+<<print $golemsmash>> points <</if>></li><</if>> <<if $golembad is true>><<if $westerlinddestroyed is true>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You accidentally destroyed the village of Westerlind! How irresponsible! <<set $score to $score - 10000>><<if $showpoints is true>>-10000 points <</if>></li><</if>><</if>><<if $golemgood is true>><<if $westerlinddestroyed is true>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You destroyed the village of Westerlind through your lack of foresight! How rude! <<set $score to $score - 20000>><<if $showpoints is true>>-20000 points <</if>></li><</if>><</if>> <<if $cupcakecharity is true>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You gave a delicious treat to the Hungry Trader! That was very sweet of you! <<if $showpoints is true>>+10000 points<</if>><<set $score to $score + 10000>></li><</if>> <<if $hasESsack is true>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You obtained the Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack, reducing your carbon footprint and increasing your storage in one fell swoop! <<if $showpoints is true>>+ 10000 points<</if>><<set $score to $score + 10000>></li><</if>> <<if $hasClosingTome is true>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You obtained the mysterious Tome of Closing! <<if $showpoints is true>>+10000 points<</if>><<set $score to $score + 10000>><<if $tomedeath is true>> And it ate you…<<if $showpoints is true>> -2500 points<</if>><<set $score to $score - 2500>><</if>></li><</if>> <<if $hasInvisAmulet is true>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You obtained the Amulet of Limited Invisibility! Intriguing! <<if $showpoints is true>>+10000 points<</if>><<set $score to $score + 10000>></li><</if>> <<if $hasWakingScroll is true>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You obtained the Scroll of Waking! Interesting… <<if $showpoints is true>>+10000 points<</if>><<set $score to $score + 10000>></li><</if>> <<if $burnedScroll is true>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You burned the blasted Scroll of Waking to ashes! Good riddance… <<if $showpoints is true>>+10000 points<</if>><<set $score to $score + 10000>></li><</if>> <<if $hasQuantumStone is true>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You obtained the Sparkling Stone of Quantum Entanglement! It makes your brain hurt from excessive math, but at least it’s shiny!<<if $showpoints is true>> + 10000 points<</if>><<set $score to $score + 10000>></li><</if>> <<if $hasRake is true>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You purchased the ominous Rake of Disintegration! <<if $showpoints is true>>+ 10000 points<</if>><<set $score to $score + 10000>><<if $rakeashes is true>> And read the fine print a little too late…<<if $showpoints is true>>-2500 points<</if>><<set $score to $score - 2500>><</if>></li><</if>> <<if $hasHoodie is true>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You collected a much-too-small Hoodie for a band you don’t even like! <<if $showpoints is true>>+10000 points<</if>><<set $score to $score + 10000>></li><</if>> <<if $westerlinddeadguards is true>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You wiped out literally half of Westerlind’s militia. Was that necessary?<<if $showpoints is true>>-10000 points<</if>><<set $score to $score - 10000>></li><</if>> <<if $stealattempt gte 1>><<if visited("Score card!") lte 1>><<set $stolenitemsscore to $stolenitems * 7500>><</if>><<if $stealattempt gte 11>><<set $stealattemptscore to $stealattempt - 10>><<if visited("Score card!") lte 1>><<set $stealattemptscore to $stealattemptscore * 7500>><</if>><<set $stealattemptscore to $stealattemptscore + 37500>> <<elseif $stealattempt gte 6>><<set $stealattemptscore to $stealattempt - 5>><<if visited("Score card!") lte 1>><<set $stealattemptscore to $stealattemptscore * 5000>><</if>><<set $stealattemptscore to $stealattemptscore + 12500>> <<else>><<if visited("Score card!") lte 1>><<set $stealattemptscore to $stealattemptscore * 2500>><</if>> <</if>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You successfully robbed honest merchants <<print $stolenitems>> time<<if $stolenitems neq 1>>s<</if>> out of <<print $stealattempt>> attempt<<if $stealattempt gt 1>>s<</if>>. Picking on someone trying to make ends meet, eh? <<set $stolenitemsscore to $stolenitemsscore - $stealattemptscore>><<if $stolenitemsscore gt 75000>><<set $stolenitemsscore to 75000>><</if>><<if $stolenitemsscore lt - 50000>><<set $stolenitemsscore to - 50000>><</if>><<if $stolenitemsscore gte 0>><<if $showpoints is true>>+<<print $stolenitemsscore>> points<</if>><<set $score to $score + $stolenitemsscore>><</if>><<if $stolenitemsscore lt 0>><<if $showpoints is true>>-<<print $stolenitemsscore>> points<</if>><<set $score to $score + $stolenitemsscore>><</if>></li><</if>> <<if $newtdead is true>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You defeated the Chaotic Newt! <<if $skinnednewt is true>>…and…skinned it. <<if $showpoints is true>>+15000 points <</if>><<set $score to $score + 15000>><</if>><<if $skinnednewt is false>><<if $showpoints is true>>+10000 points <</if>><<set $score to $score + 10000>><</if>></li><</if>> <<if $parchedwoman is false>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You quenched the thirst of the parched woman! <<if $parcheddead is true>>But unfortunately, you also gave her rapid-onset dysentery! <<if $showpoints is true>>+7500 points <</if>><<set $score to $score + 7500>><</if>><<if $parcheddead is false>><<if $showpoints is true>>+10000 points <</if>><<set $score to $score + 10000>><</if>></li><</if>> <<if $hasTorch is true>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You swiped a Torch from the Arcane Sanctum at Purfani! <<set $score to $score + 7500>><<if $showpoints is true>>+7500 points <</if>></li><</if>> <<if $hasCOreChunk is true>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You collected a shining Chunk of Conjure Ore from a wrecked chandelier! <<set $score to $score + 7500>><<if $showpoints is true>>+7500 points <</if>></li><</if>> <<if $EnikyFreed is true>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You met Eniky and freed her from the cage she was trapped in! <<if $EnikyAnger gte 1>>But you also made her fairly angry at you! On a scale of 1-10, her anger was definitely at a <<print $EnikyAnger + 5>>! <<set $score to $score + 15000>><<if $showpoints is true>>+15000 points <</if>><</if>><<if $EnikyAnger lte 0>><<set $score to $score + 25000>><<if $showpoints is true>>+25000 points <</if>><</if>></li><</if>> <<if $EnikyDead is true>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You met Eniky and promptly caused her death by $EnikyDeathMethod! Pretty rude, if you ask me. <<set $score to $score - $20000>><<if $showpoints is true>>-20000 points <</if>></li><</if>> <<if $EnikyLeft is true>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You met Eniky and gallantly abandoned her to die in a cage.<<set $score to $score - 10000>><<if $showpoints is true>> - 10000 points <</if>></li><</if>> <<if $EnikyDead is false>><<if $EnikyHoodie is true>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You gave Eniky a Hoodie promoting a band she clearly likes. However, you hate the band and now question her judgment. <<set $score to $score + 20000>><<if $showpoints is true>>+20000 points <</if>></li><</if>><</if>> <<if $hasWaffles is true>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You stole/adopted an adorable Corgi<<if $wafflesNames is true>> named Waffles<</if>>! <<set $score to $score + 15000>><<if $showpoints is true>>+15000 points <</if>></li><</if>> <<if $binarycount gte 20>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You responded to the Disembodied Voice $binarycount times! You answered in the affirmative $yescount times and in the negative $nocount times! <<set $score to $score + 25000>><<if $showpoints is true>>+25000 points <</if>></li><</if>> <<if $binarycount gte 40>><<set $Achievements to $Achievements - 1>><li>You also annoyed the Disembodied Voice until it ran out of patience! Not an easy feat (even if it then killed you)! <<set $score to $score + 15000>><<if $showpoints is true>>+15000 points <</if>></li><</if>> </ul><center>''Total turns taken to reach the end: <<print turns()>>!''<<set $turnscore to turns()>><<set $turnscore to $turnscore - 450>><<set $turnscore to $turnscore - $noreturn>><<if $turnscore gte 0>><<if visited("Score card!") lte 1>><<set $turnscore to $turnscore * 45>><</if>><<set $score to $score - $turnscore>><<if $showpoints is true>> - <<print $turnscore>> points<</if>><</if>></center> <center>''Total play time (this attempt): <<playtime>>''</center> <center>''Missed Achievements (this attempt): <<print $Achievements>>''</center> <center>''<<print $playername>>'s score: <<print $score>> points!''</center> <<link 'Restart Game? (Your saves will not be reset!)'>> <<run Engine.restart()>> <</link>> <h6>Version $version</h6>

You ask about a location marked "The Arcane Sanctum at Purfani". "Ahhhh, Purfani. I've not been there for many years now." Davricle points due North. "That direction, just a ways past the trading village of Westerlind, you will find the city of Purfani. However, the city itself is quite boring. If you are looking for adventure while you're there, you should try the Arcance Sanctum, for which it is named, at the city's center." He proceeds, "You really won't be able to miss it. It's the largest structure, formed purely from Conjure Ore." You stare blankly at the DM. The DM answers the unasked question, "Ah, yes. We here in Discord refer to magic stones as 'Conjure Ore'." <<if visitedTags("MapLocation") is 1>>"What can you tell me about...<</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") is 2>>"Okay, and how about...<</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") is 3>>"What do you know about this place called...<</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") is 4>>"I see. And what about...<</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") is 5>>"Okay, next can you tell me about...<</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") is 6>>"I am also curious to know about..."<</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") gte 7>>"One last thing…<</if>> <<if not hasVisited("'The Observatory of the Heavens'?")>>[['The Observatory of the Heavens'?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("'The Sands of Time'?")>>[['The Sands of Time'?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("'Pillory Point'?")>>[['Pillory Point'?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("'The Cavernous Depths of Docura'?")>>[['The Cavernous Depths of Docura'?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("'Deluge, The Submerged Shrine'?")>>[['Deluge, The Submerged Shrine'?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("'Zulinia's Bottomless Chasm'?")>>[['Zulinia's Bottomless Chasm'?]]" <</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") gte 7>>[[It's not on the map, but what is that place?]]" <</if>>Instead, you ask: "[[Why not just call them 'magic stones', then?]]" Instead, you say: "[["I think I should just retire."|Retire. I am definitely retiring.]]" <<if $hasd20 is false>><<if hasVisited("Sit down at the picnic table.")>>[[Ask if you can take the 20-sided die.]] <</if>><</if>>[[Go speak with Para the Paranoid Unicorn.]] [[Set off on your way.]]

You inquire about the location named "The Observatory of the Heavens". Turning due East, Davricle motions toward a very tall tower. "The Observatory of the Heavens, names both for its location and subject of observation. The pinnacle of the tower is the highest climbable point in all of Discord. Should you make it to the top, you’ll find a looking glass providing an unparalleled vision of the stars. "However, you will have to deal with the current residents, Helias and her brother, Selenos. Believing that no one else should be allowed as high in the sky, they killed the previous scientific staff, claiming the Observatory as their own. If you plan on trudging to the top, I suggest you bring plenty of water. Stay hydrated!" <<if visitedTags("MapLocation") is 1>>"What can you tell me about...<</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") is 2>>"Okay, and how about...<</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") is 3>>"What do you know about this place called...<</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") is 4>>"I see. And what about...<</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") is 5>>"Okay, next can you tell me about...<</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") is 6>>"I am also curious to know about..."<</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") gte 7>>"One last thing…<</if>> <<if not hasVisited("'The Arcane Sanctum at Purfani'?")>>[['The Arcane Sanctum at Purfani'?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("'The Sands of Time'?")>>[['The Sands of Time'?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("'Pillory Point'?")>>[['Pillory Point'?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("'The Cavernous Depths of Docura'?")>>[['The Cavernous Depths of Docura'?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("'Deluge, The Submerged Shrine'?")>>[['Deluge, The Submerged Shrine'?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("'Zulinia's Bottomless Chasm'?")>>[['Zulinia's Bottomless Chasm'?]]" <</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") gte 7>>[[It's not on the map, but what is that place?]]" <</if>>Instead, you say: "[["I think I should just retire."|Retire. I am definitely retiring.]]" <<if $hasd20 is false>><<if hasVisited("Sit down at the picnic table.")>>[[Ask if you can take the 20-sided die.]] <</if>><</if>>[[Go speak with Para the Paranoid Unicorn.]] [[Set off on your way.]]

You ask about the location marked "The Sands of Time". Davricle very nearly giggles at the name. "I hear the entire area is quicksand! Get it? …No? Everyone’s a critic." Davricle faces due South, back toward the direction of the cave you emerged from. "The Sands of Times is the name given to a ridiculously large hourglass, half-buried in the Desert of Thirst. It’s certainly one of the stranger oddities to arrive in Discord, and one that I have very little experience with. I’d tell you to enter at your own peril, but I feel like that would just spur you on." Probably. <<if visitedTags("MapLocation") is 1>>"What can you tell me about...<</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") is 2>>"Okay, and how about...<</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") is 3>>"What do you know about this place called...<</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") is 4>>"I see. And what about...<</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") is 5>>"Okay, next can you tell me about...<</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") is 6>>"I am also curious to know about..."<</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") gte 7>>"One last thing…<</if>> <<if not hasVisited("'The Arcane Sanctum at Purfani'?")>>[['The Arcane Sanctum at Purfani'?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("'The Observatory of the Heavens'?")>>[['The Observatory of the Heavens'?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("'Pillory Point'?")>>[['Pillory Point'?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("'The Cavernous Depths of Docura'?")>>[['The Cavernous Depths of Docura'?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("'Deluge, The Submerged Shrine'?")>>[['Deluge, The Submerged Shrine'?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("'Zulinia's Bottomless Chasm'?")>>[['Zulinia's Bottomless Chasm'?]]" <</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") gte 7>>[[It's not on the map, but what is that place?]]" <</if>>Instead, you say: "[["I think I should just retire."|Retire. I am definitely retiring.]]" <<if $hasd20 is false>><<if hasVisited("Sit down at the picnic table.")>>[[Ask if you can take the 20-sided die.]] <</if>><</if>>[[Go speak with Para the Paranoid Unicorn.]] [[Set off on your way.]]

You ask about a location marked "Pillory Point". Davricle tilts his head to the West. In the distance you can see a rock formation similar to a compact cassette tape. "Rumor has it that giants used that strange stone structure as a punishment for their misbehaving sistren and brethren. However, if you want my opinion, and clearly, you do, I am unconvinced. Humanoids of unusual size? I don’t think they exist. Regardless, the past purpose of that mineral monument matters not. Should you venture forth and visit the place, you’ll find it infested with trolls. Exciting! <<if visitedTags("MapLocation") is 1>>"What can you tell me about...<</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") is 2>>"Okay, and how about...<</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") is 3>>"What do you know about this place called...<</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") is 4>>"I see. And what about...<</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") is 5>>"Okay, next can you tell me about...<</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") is 6>>"I am also curious to know about..."<</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") gte 7>>"One last thing…<</if>> <<if not hasVisited("'The Arcane Sanctum at Purfani'?")>>[['The Arcane Sanctum at Purfani'?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("'The Observatory of the Heavens'?")>>[['The Observatory of the Heavens'?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("'The Sands of Time'?")>>[['The Sands of Time'?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("'The Cavernous Depths of Docura'?")>>[['The Cavernous Depths of Docura'?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("'Deluge, The Submerged Shrine'?")>>[['Deluge, The Submerged Shrine'?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("'Zulinia's Bottomless Chasm'?")>>[['Zulinia's Bottomless Chasm'?]]" <</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") gte 7>>[[It's not on the map, but what is that place?]]" <</if>>Instead, you say: "[["I think I should just retire."|Retire. I am definitely retiring.]]" <<if $hasd20 is false>><<if hasVisited("Sit down at the picnic table.")>>[[Ask if you can take the 20-sided die.]] <</if>><</if>>[[Go speak with Para the Paranoid Unicorn.]] [[Set off on your way.]]

You ask Davricle about The Cavernous Depths of Docura. Davricle nods while pointing Northwest. "The name does no justice for the location, I’m afraid. Some say that the Caverns of Docura tunnel all the way to the center of the planet. Poppycock, I say! That’s preposterous! However, I cannot deny that those tunnels are indeed extraordinarily deep. And should you survive the spelunking, you’ll have to deal with the Lizard King, Docu!" <<if visitedTags("MapLocation") is 1>>"What can you tell me about...<</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") is 2>>"Okay, and how about...<</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") is 3>>"What do you know about this place called...<</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") is 4>>"I see. And what about...<</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") is 5>>"Okay, next can you tell me about...<</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") is 6>>"I am also curious to know about..."<</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") gte 7>>"One last thing…<</if>> <<if not hasVisited("'The Arcane Sanctum at Purfani'?")>>[['The Arcane Sanctum at Purfani'?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("'The Observatory of the Heavens'?")>>[['The Observatory of the Heavens'?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("'The Sands of Time'?")>>[['The Sands of Time'?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("'Pillory Point'?")>>[['Pillory Point'?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("'Deluge, The Submerged Shrine'?")>>[['Deluge, The Submerged Shrine'?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("'Zulinia's Bottomless Chasm'?")>>[['Zulinia's Bottomless Chasm'?]]" <</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") gte 7>>[[It's not on the map, but what is that place?]]" <</if>>Instead, you say: "[["I think I should just retire."|Retire. I am definitely retiring.]]" <<if $hasd20 is false>><<if hasVisited("Sit down at the picnic table.")>>[[Ask if you can take the 20-sided die.]] <</if>><</if>>[[Go speak with Para the Paranoid Unicorn.]] [[Set off on your way.]]

You inquire about the location labeled "Deluge, The Submerged Shrine". Davricle ponders the name. "Ah, yes. Deluge. If you spy that body of water to the Southeast, you’ll see the location of the Submerged Shrine. Of course, you can’t see the shrine itself, as I mentioned, it is submerged. "The lake has not always been there. In fact, that entire area was a barren basin. The folks living there built Deluge in an effort to appease a higher power, in hopes of increasing rainfall to water their crops and make their home livable. Be careful what you wish for, I always say! The flooding came swiftly and suddenly, washing away the inhabitants and their makeshift homes. "Now something else lives in those parts, residing in the shrine itself, sunken underneath all of that water. Isn’t that neat?" <<if visitedTags("MapLocation") is 1>>"What can you tell me about...<</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") is 2>>"Okay, and how about...<</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") is 3>>"What do you know about this place called...<</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") is 4>>"I see. And what about...<</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") is 5>>"Okay, next can you tell me about...<</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") is 6>>"I am also curious to know about..."<</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") gte 7>>"One last thing…<</if>> <<if not hasVisited("'The Arcane Sanctum at Purfani'?")>>[['The Arcane Sanctum at Purfani'?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("'The Observatory of the Heavens'?")>>[['The Observatory of the Heavens'?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("'The Sands of Time'?")>>[['The Sands of Time'?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("'Pillory Point'?")>>[['Pillory Point'?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("'The Cavernous Depths of Docura'?")>>[['The Cavernous Depths of Docura'?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("'Zulinia's Bottomless Chasm'?")>>[['Zulinia's Bottomless Chasm'?]]" <</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") gte 7>>[[It's not on the map, but what is that place?]]" <</if>>Instead, you say: "[["I think I should just retire."|Retire. I am definitely retiring.]]" <<if $hasd20 is false>><<if hasVisited("Sit down at the picnic table.")>>[[Ask if you can take the 20-sided die.]] <</if>><</if>>[[Go speak with Para the Paranoid Unicorn.]] [[Set off on your way.]]

You ask Para if she is afraid of you. <<if $killedLandShark is true or $killedProspector is true>>"Yes! I mean...no! What do you want?" <<else>>"Not really, just very cautious. I keep my eyes open always!" Sounds exhausting. <</if>> <<if $hasSword is true>>[[Attack with your Sword of Tetanus!]] <</if>><<if $hasBow is true>>[[Attack with your Bow of Questionable Durability!]] <</if>><<if $hasSword is false and $hasBow is false>>[[Try to strangle her!]] <</if>><<if not hasVisited("Why did Davricle the Majestic let you name this place?")>>"[[Why did Davricle the Majestic let you name this place?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("So, I saw you were offering a reward for killing the Angry Prospector...")>><<if not hasVisited("So, those were your cupcakes? Sorry for stealing.")>><<if $caughtcupcake gte 1>>"[[So, those were your cupcakes? Sorry for stealing.]]" <</if>><<if $caughtcupcakes lte 0>>"[[Did I hear you mention something about cupcakes?|So, those were your cupcakes? Sorry for stealing.]]" <</if>><</if>><<if not hasVisited("So I saw you were offering a reward for killing the Angry Prospector...")>><<if $seenposter gte 1>>"[[So, I saw you were offering a reward for killing the Angry Prospector...]]" <</if>><</if>><</if>><<if $cupcakes lte 0>>[[Go back and ask the DM about places on the map.|Ask about Locations on the Map.]]<</if>><<if $cupcakes gte 1>>[[Go back and ask the DM about places on the map.|Tupperware]]<</if>>

You ask her why Davricle the Majestic let her name this place. "Oh wow. Um, you probably shouldn't let him hear you ask that." <<if not hasVisited("Are you afraid of me?")>> "[[Are you afraid of me?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("So, I saw you were offering a reward for killing the Angry Prospector...")>><<if not hasVisited("So, those were your cupcakes? Sorry for stealing.")>><<if $caughtcupcake gte 1>>"[[So, those were your cupcakes? Sorry for stealing.]]" <</if>><<if $caughtcupcakes lte 0>>"[[Did I hear you mention something about cupcakes?|So, those were your cupcakes? Sorry for stealing.]]" <</if>><</if>><<if not hasVisited("So I saw you were offering a reward for killing the Angry Prospector...")>><<if $seenposter gte 1>>"[[So, I saw you were offering a reward for killing the Angry Prospector...]]" <</if>><</if>><</if>><<if $cupcakes lte 0>>[[Go back and ask the DM about places on the map.|Ask about Locations on the Map.]]<</if>><<if $cupcakes gte 1>>[[Go back and ask the DM about places on the map.|Tupperware]]<</if>>

<<if $caughtcupcakes gte 1>>You apologize for despoiling the desserts. Para sighs passive agressively, "It's fine, I guess. It's not like I made them for a specific occasion..." You get the impression she made them for a special occasion. "[[Are you afraid of me?]]"<<if not hasVisited("Why did Davricle the Majestic let you name this place?")>> "[[Why did Davricle the Majestic let you name this place?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("So I saw you were offering a reward for killing the Angry Prospector...")>> <<if $seenposter gte 1>>"[[So, I saw you were offering a reward for killing the Angry Prospector...]]" <</if>><</if>><<if $cupcakes lte 0>>[[Go back and ask the DM about places on the map.|Ask about Locations on the Map.]]<</if>><<if $cupcakes gte 1>>[[Go back and ask the DM about places on the map.|Tupperware]]<</if>><</if>><<if $caughtcupcakes lte 0>>You inquire about the aforementioned Cupcakes. Para perks up and says: "I'm the best baker on Sunshine Sparkle Summit, and my Sunshine Sparkle Cupcakes are my specialty!" She instantly becomes more guarded, "Wait, why do you ask? Are you planning on stealing them?!?!" "[[Yes, actually!]]" "[[No, I promise!]]"<</if>>

You allude to a reward offered for dispatching the Angry Prospector. Para looks anxious. "Oh, you saw that poster, did you? Well <<if $killedProspector is true>>I believe the poster said dead or //ALIVE//, but, I suppose, you are due a Sunshine Sparkle Cupcake."<<else>>it appears that you have neither killed nor captured the Angry Prospector, now have you?"<</if>> <<if $killedProspector is true>> <<if $caughtcupcakes gte 1>>But you've already stolen and/or eaten your Cupcake reward, so I believe we are square...<<elseif $caughtcupcakes is 0 and $cupcaketray gte 1>>I'll go get your Cupcake and we'll be square...<<set $cupcaketray to $cupcaketray - 1>><<set $cakeowed to $cakeowed + 1>><</if>><</if>> <<if $seenposter gte 2>>"[[Wasn't there also a reward for the Land Shark?]]"<</if>> <<if $killedProspector is false>>"[[Alright then.]]"<</if>><<if $killedProspector is true>>"[[Sounds good, thanks!]]"<</if>>

A location titled "Zulinia’s Bottomless Chasm" catches your eye. You ask Davricle the Majestic to tell you about it. "Zulinia’s Bottomless Chasm can be found Northeast of here. If you were to ask a local, they’d tell you that the Chasm is so named due to all the residents forsaking the use of pants. While a humorous thought, and potentially true ages ago, that is simply not the case now. There are no longer any humanoid inhabitants of the bottomless chasm as Empress Zulinia betrayed and facilitated the slaughter of her own people centuries ago. She entered into an accord with the gargantuan Spicewurms living under her former settlement; she would allow them to eat the Spice-rich soil of her settlement, and the wurms would use their Spice-based magic to keep her hale and hearty, indefinitely." "Since the time of that deal, the Spicewurms have done such a good job in that time of eroding away the earth, that Discord locals have taken to calling the now-quite-deep chasm "bottomless". It would be quite an adventure for you to find out if the rumors are true!" <<if visitedTags("MapLocation") is 1>>"What can you tell me about...<</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") is 2>>"Okay, and how about...<</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") is 3>>"What do you know about this place called...<</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") is 4>>"I see. And what about...<</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") is 5>>"Okay, next can you tell me about...<</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") is 6>>"I am also curious to know about..."<</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") gte 7>>"One last thing…<</if>> <<if not hasVisited("'The Arcane Sanctum at Purfani'?")>>[['The Arcane Sanctum at Purfani'?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("'The Observatory of the Heavens'?")>>[['The Observatory of the Heavens'?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("'The Sands of Time'?")>>[['The Sands of Time'?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("'Pillory Point'?")>>[['Pillory Point'?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("'The Cavernous Depths of Docura'?")>>[['The Cavernous Depths of Docura'?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("'Deluge, The Submerged Shrine'?")>>[['Deluge, The Submerged Shrine'?]]" <</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") gte 7>>[[It's not on the map, but what is that place?]]" <</if>>Instead, you say: "[["I think I should just retire."|Retire. I am definitely retiring.]]" <<if $hasd20 is false>><<if hasVisited("Sit down at the picnic table.")>>[[Ask if you can take the 20-sided die.]] <</if>><</if>>[[Go speak with Para the Paranoid Unicorn.]] [[Set off on your way.]]

You remind the Paranoid Unicorn about the reward offered for dispatching the Land Shark. Para pauses, then says, "Saw that one, too, did you? Well<<if $killedLandShark is true>> I don't think the poster ever said you were //required// to kill the Land Shark, but, fair is fair."<<else>>, unless I am mistaken, I don't think you captured or killed the Land Shark."<</if>> <<if $bothdead is true>> "<<if $caughtcupcakes is 0 and $cupcaketray gte 1>>I'll grab you a<<if $killedProspector is true>>nother<</if>> Sunshine Sparkle Cupcake....<<set $cupcaketray to $cupcaketray - 1>><<set $cakeowed to $cakeowed + 1>><<elseif $caughtcupcakes lte 1 and $cupcaketray gte 1>>I suppose I'll go get your Cupcake...<<set $cupcaketray to $cupcaketray - 1>><<set $cakeowed to $cakeowed + 1>><<elseif $caughtcupcakes gte 2>>But you've already stolen and/or eaten enough Cupcakes to cover this reward as well, so, again, I believe we are square...<</if>><</if>><<if $killedLandShark is true and $killedProspector is false>> "<<if $caughtcupcakes gte 1>>But you've already stolen and/or eaten your Cupcake reward, so I believe we are square...<<elseif $caughtcupcakes is 0 and $cupcaketray gte 1>> I'll grab you a<<if $killedProspector is true>>nother<</if>> Sunshine Sparkle Cupcake....<<set $cupcaketray to $cupcaketray - 1>><<set $cakeowed to $cakeowed + 1>><</if>>"<</if>> <<if $seenposter gte 3>>"[[I believe there was one more reward posted...]]"<</if>> <<if $cakeowed is 0>>"[[Alright then.]]"<</if>><<if $cakeowed gte 1>>"[[Great!|Sounds good, thanks!]]"<</if>>

Having agreed on the number of cupcakes owed, Para trots into the house. She returns momentarilly with the cupcake tray held in her mouth.<<pickup '$inventory' unique '[[Sunshine Sparkle Cupcake]]'>> She mumbles something incoherent to you. Then, realizing that you can't understand her, she sets down the tray and says, <<if $cakeowed is 1>>"Here is your cupcake."<<set $cupcakes to 1>><</if>><<if $cakeowed gte 2>>"Here are your cupcakes."<<set $cupcakes to $cakeowed>><</if>> <<if $cupcakes is 1>>You take 1 cupcake from the tray.<</if>><<if $cupcakes gte 2>> You take <<print $cupcakes>> cupcakes from the tray.<</if>> "[[Are you afraid of me?]]" <<if not hasVisited("Why did Davricle the Majestic let you name this place?")>>"[[Why did Davricle the Majestic let you name this place?]]" <</if>><<if $cupcakes lte 0>>[[Go back and ask the DM about places on the map.|Ask about Locations on the Map.]]<</if>><<if $cupcakes gte 1>>[[Go back and ask the DM about places on the map.|Tupperware]]<</if>>

You and Para come to an agreement that she doesn't owe you any Cupcakes. <<if $eatencupcakes is 1>>At least you already got to eat one.<</if>><<if $eatencupcakes gte 2>>At least you already got to eat some.<</if>><<if $eatencupcakes lte 0>>Pity, they are supposed to be delicious!<</if>> "[[Are you afraid of me?]]" <<if not hasVisited("Why did Davricle the Majestic let you name this place?")>>"[[Why did Davricle the Majestic let you name this place?]]" <</if>><<if $cupcakes lte 0>>[[Go back and ask the DM about places on the map.|Ask about Locations on the Map.]]<</if>><<if $cupcakes gte 1>>[[Go back and ask the DM about places on the map.|Tupperware]]<</if>>

You implore Para to remember that there was one more poster offering a reward. Incredulously, Para says: "That poster was about you. Are you...are you trying to call me on a technicality?" "[[Well, I am alive and standing in front of you. Doesn't that qualify?]]" <<if $cakeowed gte 1>>"[[I suppose not.|Sounds good, thanks!]]"<</if>><<if $cakeowed is 0>>"[[I suppose not.|Alright then.]]"<</if>>

You call Para on a technicality. <<if $bothdead is true>><<if $caughtcupcakes lte 2>>Para sighs heavily. "FINE. You have earned a<<if $cakeowed gte 1>>nother<</if>> cupcake.<<set $cupcaketray to $cupcaketray - 1>><<set $cakeowed to $cakeowed + 1>> I'll go get the tray."<<elseif $caughtcupcakes gte 3>>I see. Well, you would have earned a cupcake, but need I remind you that you have stolen or eaten your rewards already? I have no more cupcakes to give you.<</if>> <<elseif $bothdead is false>><<if $caughtcupcakes lte 1>><<set $cupcaketray to $cupcaketray - 1>><<set $cakeowed to $cakeowed + 1>>Para sighs heavily. "FINE. You have earned a<<if $cakeowed gte 2>>nother<</if>> cupcake. I'll go get <<if $cakeowed lte 1>>it.<</if>><<if $cakeowed gte 2>>them.<</if>>"<<elseif $caughtcupcakes gte 2>>I see. Well, you would have earned a cupcake, but need I remind you that you have stolen or eaten your reward already? I have no more cupcakes to give you.<</if>><</if>> <<if $cakeowed is 0>>"[[Alright then.]]"<</if>><<if $cakeowed gte 1>>"[[Yay, I love cupcakes!|Sounds good, thanks!]]"<</if>>

You point to a strange, rotating, greenish object in the sky.<<set $seenVestibule to true>> Davricle wears an expression of disbelief. "You can see the Incongrous Confluence?! Simply amazing. Few have a mind that can comprehend looking at it! However, that is neither here, nor there. What you are looking at is, by my estimate, the source of the discord in Discord. The bending of realities happens //there//, to twist the fabric of our world //here//. "It's a lot to take in, I know. Suffice to say, you need not worry about it now, but if, during your adventuring, you find a way to breach Reality's Vestibule, perhaps you can confront the Incongruous Confluence face-to-face, so to speak." Fascinating, and migraine-inducing... "[["I think I should just retire."|Retire. I am definitely retiring.]]" <<if $hasd20 is false>><<if hasVisited("Sit down at the picnic table.")>>[[Ask if you can take the 20-sided die.]] <</if>><</if>>[[Go speak with Para the Paranoid Unicorn.]] [[Set off on your way.]]

<<set $givencupcakes to $cupcakes>><<if $cupcakes is 1>>You return to Davricle with a cupcake in your hand. "Oh, what's this? Para imparted you with one of her cupcakes? Lucky you, they are delicious! And quite valuable, indeed."<</if>> <<if $cupcakes gte 2>>You return to Davricle with your hands full of cupcakes. "Oh, what's this? Para imparted you with some of her cupcakes? Lucky you, they are delicious! And quite valuable, indeed."<</if>> Davricle continues, "I don't think <<if $cupcakes is 1>> it’ll<</if>><<if $cupcakes gte 2>>they'll<</if>> last very long with you holding them like that, however. No matter, I have an airtight container I can lend you!" Davricle disappears into the house and you hear the clanging of pots and pans. After a few moments, he returns with a lidded plastic container and a fancy satchel.<<pickup '$inventory' unique '[[Lidded Plastic Container]]'>><<drop '$inventory' '[[Sunshine Sparkle Cupcake]]'>> "[[That is a fancy satchel! Is it magically larger on the inside, but still lightweight?]]" "[[Thanks so much! That's mighty kind of you.]]"

<<set $DMdeath to $DMdeath + 1>>You draw your sword and ready your attack! Davricle has never looked quite as majestic as when he smites you for threatening his paranoid unicorn. It's glorious. [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?|Go speak with Para the Paranoid Unicorn.]]

<<set $DMdeath to $DMdeath + 1>>You draw your bow and ready your attack! Davricle has never looked quite as majestic as when he smites you for threatening his paranoid unicorn. It's glorious. [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?|Go speak with Para the Paranoid Unicorn.]]

You inform the Paranoid Unicorn of your plan to steal her cupcakes. She appears simultaneously afraid for her life, and vidicated for her aptly named paranoia. "I knew it! See, Davricle, I told you!" <<if $hasSword is true>>[[Attack with your Sword of Tetanus!]]<</if>><<if $hasBow is true>>[[Attack with your Bow of Questionable Durability!]]<</if>><<if $hasSword is false and $hasBow is false>>[[Try to strangle her!]]<</if>>

You assure the Paranoid Unicorn that you are not interested in stealing her cupcakes. She calms down, slightly, but still seems like she does not believe you. "[[Are you afraid of me?]]" <<if not hasVisited("Why did Davricle the Majestic let you name this place?")>>"[[Why did Davricle the Majestic let you name this place?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("So I saw you were offering a reward for killing the Angry Prospector...")>><<if $seenposter gte 1>>"[[So, I saw you were offering a reward for killing the Angry Prospector...]]" <</if>><</if>><<if $cupcakes lte 0>>[[Go back and ask the DM about places on the map.|Ask about Locations on the Map.]] <</if>><<if $cupcakes gte 1>>[[Go back and ask the DM about places on the map.|Tupperware]]<</if>>

You ask if the fancy satchel is a magic item, that is somehow larger on the inside.<<set $hasFancySatchel to true>><<set $bagtype to "Fancy Satchel">> Davricle fixes you with a strange gaze. "What? Don't be ridiculous! It's just a bag!" You shamefully pack away your cupcake<<if $cupcakes gte 2>>s<</if>> in the container and stuff the container into the satchel. It fits comfortably on your shoulders. [[Ask about Locations on the Map.]] <<if $hasd20 is false>><<if hasVisited("Sit down at the picnic table.")>> [[Ask if you can take the 20-sided die.]]<</if>><</if>>[[Go speak with Para the Paranoid Unicorn.]]

You thank the DM for the fancy satchel and container.<<set $hasFancySatchel to true>><<set $bagtype to "Fancy Satchel">> Davricle nods respectfully. "You're quite welcome, friend." You pack away your cupcake<<if $cupcakes gte 2>>s<</if>> in the container and stuff the container into the satchel. It fits comfortably on your shoulder. [[Ask about Locations on the Map.]] <<if $hasd20 is false>><<if hasVisited("Sit down at the picnic table.")>> [[Ask if you can take the 20-sided die.]]<</if>><</if>>[[Go speak with Para the Paranoid Unicorn.]]

<<set $DMdeath to $DMdeath + 1>>You charge at Para and prepare to strangle her! Davricle has never looked quite as majestic as when he smites you for threatening his paranoid unicorn. It's glorious. [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?|Go speak with Para the Paranoid Unicorn.]]

You draw your Sword of Tetanus and chuck it at the Cantankerous Cartographer! Your sword tumbles through the air, but miraculously finds it's mark, striking the Cantankerous Cartographer straight in the chest. It squawks loudly, then falls to the ground with a dull thud.<<set $killedCC to true>> As you pull your sword from the creature's body, Davricle the Majestic stares at you incredibly displeased. "What a rude thing to do! Why would you kill CeeCee? I am quite disappointed." Davricle pulls out a notepad and quill, writes something down, then puts both away. Perhaps that was not a great idea. [[Unfurl the Map Scroll.]]

<<if visitedTags("MapLocation") is 1>>After briefly discussing one of your options with Davricle the Majestic, you decide to set off on your journey. <<if $hasFancySatchel is false>>Though, before you can leave, Davricle hands you a Fancy Satchel. Neat!<<set $hasFancySatchel to true>><</if>> There is something exciting about having no real idea about where you are headed!<</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") gte 2>>After discussing your options with Davricle the Majestic, you decide to set off on your journey. <<if $hasFancySatchel is false>>Though, before you can leave, Davricle hands you a Fancy Satchel. Neat!<<set $hasFancySatchel to true>> <</if>> Where will you go? <</if>> <<if visitedTags("Purfani") gte 1>>[[Travel North toward the Arcane Sanctum at Purfani!]] <</if>><<if visitedTags("Deluge") gte 1>>[[Travel Southeast to the Submerged Shrine, Deluge!]] <</if>><<if visitedTags("Docura") gte 1>>[[Travel Northwest to the Cavernous Depths of Docura!]] <</if>><<if visitedTags("Pillory") gte 1>>[[Travel due West to Pillory Point!]] <</if>><<if visitedTags("Sands") gte 1>>[[Travel South to the Sands of Time!]] <</if>><<if visitedTags("Observe") gte 1>>[[Travel East to The Observatory of the Heavens!]] <</if>><<if visitedTags("chasm") gte 1>>[[Travel Northeast to Zulinia’s Bottomless Chasm!]] <</if>>[[Go wherever the wind takes you!]]

You ask Davricle the Magnificent why not just call "Conjure Ore" by the obvious name, "Magic Stones"? "Why don't you mind your own business?!" The DM snaps back. Fair enough. <<if visitedTags("MapLocation") is 1>>"What can you tell me about...<</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") is 2>>"Okay, and how about...<</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") is 3>>"What do you know about this place called...<</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") is 4>>"I see. And what about...<</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") is 5>>"Okay, next can you tell me about...<</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") is 6>>"I am also curious to know about..."<</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") gte 7>>"One last thing…<</if>> <<if not hasVisited("'The Arcane Sanctum at Purfani'?")>>[['The Arcane Sanctum at Purfani'?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("'The Observatory of the Heavens'?")>>[['The Observatory of the Heavens'?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("'The Sands of Time'?")>>[['The Sands of Time'?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("'Pillory Point'?")>>[['Pillory Point'?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("'The Cavernous Depths of Docura'?")>>[['The Cavernous Depths of Docura'?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("'Deluge, The Submerged Shrine'?")>>[['Deluge, The Submerged Shrine'?]]" <</if>><<if not hasVisited("'Zulinia's Bottomless Chasm'?")>>[['Zulinia's Bottomless Chasm'?]]" <</if>><<if visitedTags("MapLocation") gte 7>>[[It's not on the map, but what is that place?]]" <</if>>Instead, you say: "[["I think I should just retire."|Retire. I am definitely retiring.]]" <<if $hasd20 is false>><<if hasVisited("Sit down at the picnic table.")>>[[Ask if you can take the 20-sided die.]] <</if>><</if>>[[Go speak with Para the Paranoid Unicorn.]] [[Set off on your way.]]

You draw your Bow of Questionable Durability and attack! <<if hasVisited("Who are you?")>>The Angry Prospector<</if>><<if not hasVisited("Who are you?")>>The man<</if>> draws his Prospector's Pick and attacks you faster than you can react! It connects with your head resulting in a resounding clank. As your ears ring and you fall down the cliff, he shouts: "Serves ya right, ya confounded solicitor!"<<set $APdeath to $APdeath + 1>> [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?->Trek to the high summit.]]

<<set $location to 1>>You follow your feet to wherever they may lead! <<if $location is 1>>[[This direction looks as good as any!|Travel North toward the Arcane Sanctum at Purfani!]] <</if>><<if $location is 2>>[[This direction looks as good as any!|Travel Southeast to the Submerged Shrine, Deluge!]] <</if>><<if $location is 3>>[[This direction looks as good as any!|Travel Northwest to the Cavernous Depths of Docura!]] <</if>><<if $location is 4>>[[This direction looks as good as any!|Travel due West to Pillory Point!]] <</if>><<if $location is 5>>[[This direction looks as good as any!|Travel South to the Sands of Time!]] <</if>><<if $location is 6>>[[This direction looks as good as any!|Travel East to The Observatory of the Heavens!]] <</if>><<if $location is 7>>[[This direction looks as good as any!|Travel Northeast to Zulinia’s Bottomless Chasm!]] <</if>>

You <<if visitedTags("Purfani") lte 0>>randomly <</if>>decide to travel North toward <<if visitedTags("Purfani") lte 0>>a location labeled<</if>> the "Arcane Sanctum at Purfani"! It's going to be quite a long walk. You say your goodbyes to Davricle the Majestic and Para the Paranoid Unicorn.<<if $killedCC is false>> You also, begrudgingly, wave goodbye to the Cantankerous Cartographer, who is currently perched on Para's horn. It bark-squawks at you, indifferently.<</if>> <<if visited("Travel North toward the Arcane Sanctum at Purfani!") lte 1>><<set $exhaustion to $exhaustion + 1>><</if>> Several hours after embarking from Sunshine Sparkle Summit, you reach the bottom of the mountain. It's a lot harder to find your way when you don't have a sweeping view from a great height, so you pull out your trusty map. It looks as if there is a small village named Westerlind about a days walk Northwest, but stopping there would put you slightly off course. Other areas of note are the Nonbibemus River and a spot labled "Oddrocks"; both of which are North a short ways. The early evening sun smiles at you. [[Chart a course straight through to Purfani!]] [[Trek to the village of Westerlind!]] [[Visit the Nonbibemus River!]] [[Make a stop at Oddrocks!]] [[Set up camp for the night.]]

You travel Southeast to the Submerged Shrine, Deluge! However, you get the feeling that this area is still under construction by the powers-that-be. Perhaps you should travel elsewhere. [[Go wherever the wind takes you!]] <<if visitedTags("Purfani") gte 1>>[[Travel North toward the Arcane Sanctum at Purfani!]] <</if>>

You travel Northwest to the Cavernous Depths of Docura! However, you get the feeling that this area is still under construction by the powers-that-be. Perhaps you should travel elsewhere. [[Go wherever the wind takes you!]] <<if visitedTags("Purfani") gte 1>>[[Travel North toward the Arcane Sanctum at Purfani!]] <</if>>

You travel due West to Pillory Point! However, you get the feeling that this area is still under construction by the powers-that-be. Perhaps you should travel elsewhere. [[Go wherever the wind takes you!]] <<if visitedTags("Purfani") gte 1>>[[Travel North toward the Arcane Sanctum at Purfani!]] <</if>>

You travel South to the Sands of Time! However, you get the feeling that this area is still under construction by the powers-that-be. Perhaps you should travel elsewhere. [[Go wherever the wind takes you!]] <<if visitedTags("Purfani") gte 1>>[[Travel North toward the Arcane Sanctum at Purfani!]] <</if>>

You travel East to The Observatory of the Heavens! However, you get the feeling that this area is still under construction by the powers-that-be. Perhaps you should travel elsewhere. [[Go wherever the wind takes you!]] <<if visitedTags("Purfani") gte 1>>[[Travel North toward the Arcane Sanctum at Purfani!]] <</if>>

You travel Northeast to Zulinia’s Bottomless Chasm! However, you get the feeling that this area is still under construction by the powers-that-be. Perhaps you should travel elsewhere. [[Go wherever the wind takes you!]] <<if visitedTags("Purfani") gte 1>>[[Travel North toward the Arcane Sanctum at Purfani!]] <</if>>

You chart a course straight through to Purfani!<<if $hasESsack is true>><<set $bagtype to "Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack">><</if>> Oh, there appear to be some droppings on the path. [[Step around them.|Continue on toward Purfani.]] [[Take a closer look at the droppings.]]

You<<if $golemgood is true>> and your Golem<</if>> begin the trek toward the village of Westerlind. <<if $dysentery is 3>> However, you become delirious from your extreme fever and excruciating abdominal pain. In a singular moment of clarity, you realize you should not have drunk the water from the Nonbibemus River. You then collapse to the ground and lay silent.<<set $envirodeath to $envirodeath + 1>><<set $dysentery to 0>> [[YOU HAVE DIED OF RAPID-ONSET DYSENTERY! Turn back time?|Visit the Nonbibemus River!]]<</if>><<if $dysentery lte 2>><<if $dysentery is 2>> Your fever has grown worse, and you are now experiencing abdominal pain. That doesn't seem good.<<set $dysentery to $dysentery + 1>><<elseif $dysentery is 1>> You begin to feel feverish.<<set $dysentery to $dysentery + 1>><</if>> Before you set off, however, you realize that you might not come back this way for a while, and this may be your last chance to see the sights for quite some time. What would you like to do? [[Continue on to the Village of Westerlind!]] [[Return to the path toward Purfani.|Chart a course straight through to Purfani!]] <<if $dysentery lt 1>>[[Check out the Nonbibemus River.|Visit the Nonbibemus River!]] <</if>>[[Make a stop at Oddrocks!]] <</if>>[[Set up camp for the night.]]

You decide to visit the Nonbibemus River. <<if visited("Visit the Nonbibemus River!") lte 1>><<set $exhaustion to $exhaustion + 1>><</if>><<if $golemgood is true>>It's a quick journey while riding on your Golem pal!<<set $exhaustion to $exhaustion - 1>><</if>> The sound of rushing water is incredibly soothing; moreso than you expected it would be. The clear blue water looks like a wonderful place to soak your feet and get a refreshing drink. <<if $canteenfull is false>><<if $canteenempty is false>> There is a canteen sitting on the ground nearby.<</if>><</if>> <<if $canteenfull is false>><<if $canteenempty is false>>[[Pick up the canteen!]] <</if>><</if>>[[Take a refreshing drink from the river!]] [[Go for a swim!]] <<if $golemgood is true>>[[Ford the river with your Golem]] <</if>>[[Pack up and head to Purfani!|Chart a course straight through to Purfani!]] [[Check out the village of Westerlind!|Trek to the village of Westerlind!]] [[Take the scenic route to Oddrocks!|Make a stop at Oddrocks!]] [[Set up camp for the night.]]

<<if $golem is false>>You head toward Oddrocks, an oddly named location on your map.<<if visited("Make a stop at Oddrocks!") lte 1>><<set $exhaustion to $exhaustion + 1>><</if>> When you arrive, you realize the name is not nearly as odd as you originally thought. There is a large, oddly positioned pile of rocks resting in front of you. <<if $dysentery is 3>> You become delirious from your extreme fever and excruciating abdominal pain. In a singular moment of clarity, you realize you should not have drunk the water from the Nonbibemus River. You then collapse to the ground and lay silent.<<set $envirodeath to $envirodeath + 1>><<set $dysentery to 0>> [[YOU HAVE DIED OF RAPID-ONSET DYSENTERY! Turn back time?|Visit the Nonbibemus River!]]<</if>> <<if $dysentery lte 2>><<if $dysentery is 2>> Your fever has grown worse, and you are now experiencing abdominal pain. That doesn't seem good.<<set $dysentery to $dysentery + 1>><<elseif $dysentery is 1>> You begin to feel feverish.<<set $dysentery to $dysentery + 1>><</if>> [[Take a closer look at the rocks.]] [[Return to the path toward Purfani.|Chart a course straight through to Purfani!]] [[Visit the village of Westerlind.|Trek to the village of Westerlind!]] <<if $dysentery lt 1>>[[Check out the Nonbibemus River.|Visit the Nonbibemus River!]] <</if>>[[Set up camp for the night.]]<</if>><</if>><<if $golem is true>>You head back to Oddrocks<<if $golemgood is true>> atop your Golem<</if>>. Nothing remains except for some scattered pebbles. [[Return to the path toward Purfani.|Chart a course straight through to Purfani!]] [[Visit the village of Westerlind.|Trek to the village of Westerlind!]] <<if $dysentery lt 1>>[[Check out the Nonbibemus River.|Visit the Nonbibemus River!]] <</if>>[[Set up camp for the night.]]<</if>>

<<if $golemgood is true>>You ride your Golem companion to find a place to rest. <</if>>By nightfall, you have scouted out a comfortable location to serve as a campsite. You smooth out the ground under the canopy of a large tree, carefully removing any rocks, branches, and small creatures that you find. <<if $dysentery is 3>> However, you become delirious from your extreme fever and excruciating abdominal pain. In a singular moment of clarity, you realize you should not have drunk the water from the Nonbibemus River. You then collapse to the ground and lay silent.<<set $envirodeath to $envirodeath + 1>> <<link [[YOU HAVE DIED OF RAPID-ONSET DYSENTERY! Turn back time?|Visit the Nonbibemus River!]]>><<set $dysentery to 0>><</link>><</if>><<if $dysentery lte 2>><<if $dysentery is 2>> Your fever has grown worse, and you are now experiencing abdominal pain. That doesn't seem good.<<set $dysentery to $dysentery + 1>><<elseif $dysentery is 1>> You begin to feel feverish.<<set $dysentery to $dysentery + 1>><</if>> <<if not hasVisited("Rest.")>> [[Rest.]] [[Search your surroundings.]]<</if>> [[Return to the path toward Purfani.|Chart a course straight through to Purfani!]] [[Visit the village of Westerlind instead.|Trek to the village of Westerlind!]] <<if $dysentery lt 1>>[[Check out the Nonbibemus River.|Visit the Nonbibemus River!]] <</if>>[[Take the scenic route to Oddrocks!|Make a stop at Oddrocks!]]<</if>>

You pick up the Canteen. It's empty.<<set $canteenempty to true>><<pickup '$inventory' unique '[[Empty Canteen]]'>> [[Go for a swim!]] [[Fill up the canteen with river water!]] [[Take a refreshing drink from the river!]] <<if $golemgood is true>>[[Ford the river with your Golem]] <</if>>[[Pack up and head to Purfani!|Chart a course straight through to Purfani!]] [[Check out the village of Westerlind!|Trek to the village of Westerlind!]] [[Take the scenic route to Oddrocks!|Make a stop at Oddrocks!]] [[Set up camp for the night.]]

You take a long, deep drink from the River. It tastes crisp and cool, and quite refreshing!<<set $dysentery to $dysentery + 1>> You spot a wagon wheel floating down the river in the distance. [[Pack up and head to Purfani!|Chart a course straight through to Purfani!]] [[Check out the village of Westerlind!|Trek to the village of Westerlind!]] [[Take the scenic route to Oddrocks!|Make a stop at Oddrocks!]] [[Set up camp for the night.]]

You dunk the canteen into the Nonbibemus River and fill it to the top. You place the canteen in your fancy satchel. <<set $canteenfull to true>><<set $canteenempty to false>><<pickup '$inventory' unique '[[Full Canteen]]'>><<drop '$inventory' '[[Empty Canteen]]'>> [[Take a refreshing drink from the river!]] <<if $golemgood is true>>[[Ford the river with your Golem]] <</if>>[[Pack up and head to Purfani!|Chart a course straight through to Purfani!]] [[Check out the village of Westerlind!|Trek to the village of Westerlind!]] [[Take the scenic route to Oddrocks!|Make a stop at Oddrocks!]] [[Set up camp for the night.]]

You jump into the river for a nice swim. However, it seems that you misjudged the speed of the //rushing// water, and are quickly dragged under the water. Fortunately, you hit your head on a rock and fall unconscious, saving yourself several seconds of mental trauma as you drown.<<set $envirodeath to $envirodeath + 1>> [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?|Visit the Nonbibemus River!]]

You get a closer look at the odd rocks and notice a wide variety of runes inscribed on all of the smaller rocks. The larger boulders do not have any visible runes, but there are indentations that looks like they'd fit the shape of the smaller rocks. <<if $hasSecretcode is true>>Some of these runes appear familiar to you. Perhaps you have seen some of these elsewhere.<</if>> <<if $dysentery is 3>> However, you become delirious from your extreme fever and excruciating abdominal pain. In a singular moment of clarity, you realize you should not have drunk the water from the Nonbibemus River. You then collapse to the ground and lay silent.<<set $envirodeath to $envirodeath + 1>><<set $dysentery to 0>> [[YOU HAVE DIED OF RAPID-ONSET DYSENTERY! Turn back time?|Visit the Nonbibemus River!]]<</if>><<if $dysentery lte 2>><<if $dysentery is 2>> Your fever has grown worse, and you are now experiencing abdominal pain. That doesn't seem good.<<set $dysentery to $dysentery + 1>><<elseif $dysentery is 1>> You begin to feel feverish.<<set $dysentery to $dysentery + 1>><</if>> [[Position the rune rocks in the indentations.]] [[Return to the path toward Purfani.|Chart a course straight through to Purfani!]] [[Visit the village of Westerlind.|Trek to the village of Westerlind!]] <<if $dysentery lt 1>>[[Check out the Nonbibemus River.|Visit the Nonbibemus River!]] <</if>>[[Set up camp for the night.]]<</if>>

You contemplate how you will arrange the rocks in a meaningful way. <<if $golembad is true>><<set $golembad to false>><</if>> <<if $hasSecretcode is true>>You know that you have seen some of these runes before… If only you’d written them down!<</if>><<if $hasSecretcode is false>>The runes don’t mean much to you.<</if>> <<if $dysentery gte 2>> However, you become delirious mid-thought from your extreme fever and excruciating abdominal pain. In a singular moment of clarity, you realize you should not have drunk the water from the Nonbibemus River. You then collapse to the ground and lay silent.<<set $envirodeath to $envirodeath + 1>><<set $dysentery to 0>> [[YOU HAVE DIED OF RAPID-ONSET DYSENTERY! Turn back time?|Visit the Nonbibemus River!]] <<else>> Place the rocks in the indentations in the following order: [[U,U,D,D,L,R,L,R,A,B]] [[X,A,B,Y]] [[X,Y,X,Y,Z]] <<if $hasSecretcode is false>> [[Z,Y,X,X,Y]]<</if>><<if $hasSecretcode is true>>[[X,Y,Z,Z,Y|Good Golem]]<</if>> [[O,M,G,W,T,F,B,B,Q]] [[M,M,O,R,P,G]] [[A,B,X,Y,S,S]] [[Chart a course straight through to Purfani!]] [[Trek to the village of Westerlind!]] [[Visit the Nonbibemus River!]] [[Set up camp for the night.]]<</if>>

Before settling down for a nap, you look around your surroundings for anything out of the ordinary. You find several small spherical objects in a pile near where you planned to lay your head. Upon closer inspection, you deduce that these are, in fact, rabbit droppings. You decide to lay your head slightly further away.<<if $dysentery is 3>> However, as you lie down to sleep, you become delirious from your extreme fever and excruciating abdominal pain. In a singular moment of clarity, you realize you should not have drunk the water from the Nonbibemus River. You then collapse to the ground and lay silent.<<set $envirodeath to $envirodeath + 1>><<set $dysentery to 0>> [[YOU HAVE DIED OF RAPID-ONSET DYSENTERY! Turn back time?|Visit the Nonbibemus River!]]<</if>> <<if $dysentery lte 2>><<if $dysentery is 2>> Your fever has grown worse, and you are now experiencing abdominal pain. That doesn't seem good.<<set $dysentery to $dysentery + 1>><<elseif $dysentery is 1>> You begin to feel feverish.<<set $dysentery to $dysentery + 1>><</if>> [[Rest.]]<</if>>

Before settling down for a nap, you realize you should probably set your internal alarm. If only such a thing existed! <<if $exhaustion is 0>>Having slept recently, though, you can't seem to keep your eyes closed. Try as you might, you remain wide-awake!<</if>> <<if $dysentery gte 2>> However, as you lie down to sleep, you become delirious from your extreme fever and excruciating abdominal pain. In a singular moment of clarity, you realize you should not have drunk the water from the Nonbibemus River. You then collapse to the ground and lay silent.<<set $envirodeath to $envirodeath + 1>><<set $dysentery to 0>> [[YOU HAVE DIED OF RAPID-ONSET DYSENTERY! Turn back time?|Visit the Nonbibemus River!]] <<elseif $dysentery is 0>> <<if $exhaustion is 0>>[[You're clearly not tired. Time to move on!|$return]] <</if>><<if $exhaustion is 1>>[[Rest for 5 hours]] <</if>><<if $exhaustion is 2>>[[Rest for 8 hours]] <</if>><<if $exhaustion gte 3>>[[Rest for 10 hours]] <</if>><</if>>

<<if visitedTags("Westerlind") gte 1>>You rest your head on the soft, grassy, earth and after some time, you knock out for a quick 6 hour nap. <<set $exhaustion to 0>> <<set $encounter to random(1,100)>><<if $encounter gte 97>>You wake up just in to watch the sunrise, feeling completely rested and refreshed, witnessing the light spread out over a verdant expanse. To top it all off, you find a big ol’ bag o’ gold nearby to where you were resting. Must have missed this last night, somehow!<<set $goldtotal to $goldtotal + 1>> [[Return to the Westerlind Village path.|Continue on to the Village of Westerlind!]]<<elseif $encounter gte 45>>You wake up well-rested and fairly refreshed, just in to watch the sunrise. A pungent stench enters your nostrils as you notice a fresh pile of rabbit droppings near your head. [[Return to the Westerlind Village path.|Continue on to the Village of Westerlind!]]<<elseif $encounter gte 30>>You are abruptly awoken by a galloping deer that stomps on your abdomen. The pain scarcely registers before a charging leopard similarly stomps on your abdomen while racing after the deer. After a moment or two of writhing in pain, you are fairly certain that no other critters will use you as a doormat. Perhaps if you woke up even earlier in the morning, you wouldn’t have been stepped on. [[Return to the Westerlind Village path.|Continue on to the Village of Westerlind!]]<<elseif $encounter gte 15>>You wake up just in to watch the sunrise, feeling rested…but damp. Your trousers are soaked by a substance that you really don’t want to think about. [[Return to the Westerlind Village path.|Continue on to the Village of Westerlind!]]<<elseif $encounter gte 6>>You toss and turn for the duration of your nap. When you finally awaken, you have a Charlie horse in your leg and the morning sunrise shining in your eyes. You don’t feel very rested at all. <<set $exhaustion to 1>> [[Return to the Westerlind Village path.|Continue on to the Village of Westerlind!]]<<elseif $encounter gte 2>>You don’t sleep very well at all, tossing and turning all night. However, this is perhaps lucky for you, because, in your sleepless misery, you hear a gang of bandits sneaking up on you. <<set $exhaustion to 1>> It is hard to make out what they are whispering, but you gather it's something like, "Let's murder this stupid adventurer and steal their stuff!" <<if $hasSword is true>>[[Attack the approaching bandits with your sword!]] <</if>><<if $hasBow is true>>[[Attack the approaching bandits with your bow!]] <</if>>"[[Wait! Don't kill me! I know Ray Diamond, the Bandit King!]]"<<elseif $encounter gte 1>>You sleep soundly! So soundly, in fact, that you entirely miss the sound of Bandits sneaking up on you. [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?|Set up camp for the night.]]<</if>><</if>><<if visitedTags("Westerlind") lte 0>>You rest your head on the soft, grassy, earth and after some time, you knock out for a quick 6 hour nap. <<set $exhaustion to 0>> <<set $encounter to random(1,100)>><<if $encounter gte 97>>You wake up just in time to watch the sunrise, feeling completely rested and refreshed, witnessing the light spread out over a verdant expanse. To top it all off, you find a big ol’ bag o’ gold nearby to where you were resting. Must have missed this last night, somehow!<<set $goldtotal to $goldtotal + 1>> [[Return to the path toward Purfani.|Chart a course straight through to Purfani!]] [[Visit the village of Westerlind.|Trek to the village of Westerlind!]] <<if $dysentery lt 1>>[[Check out the Nonbibemus River.|Visit the Nonbibemus River!]] <</if>><<if $golem is false>>[[Take the scenic route to Oddrocks!|Make a stop at Oddrocks!]] <</if>><<elseif $encounter gte 45>>You wake up well-rested and fairly refreshed, just in time to watch the sunrise. A pungent stench enters your nostrils as you notice a fresh pile of rabbit droppings near your head. [[Return to the path toward Purfani.|Chart a course straight through to Purfani!]] [[Visit the village of Westerlind.|Trek to the village of Westerlind!]] <<if $dysentery lt 1>>[[Check out the Nonbibemus River.|Visit the Nonbibemus River!]] <</if>><<if $golem is false>>[[Take the scenic route to Oddrocks!|Make a stop at Oddrocks!]] <</if>><<elseif $encounter gte 30>>You are abruptly awoken by a galloping deer that stomps on your abdomen. The pain scarcely registers before a charging leopard similarly stomps on your abdomen while racing after the deer. After a moment or two of writhing in pain, you are fairly certain that no other critters will use you as a doormat. Perhaps if you woke up even earlier in the morning, you wouldn’t have been stepped on. [[Return to the path toward Purfani.|Chart a course straight through to Purfani!]] [[Visit the village of Westerlind.|Trek to the village of Westerlind!]] <<if $dysentery lt 1>>[[Check out the Nonbibemus River.|Visit the Nonbibemus River!]] <</if>><<if $golem is false>>[[Take the scenic route to Oddrocks!|Make a stop at Oddrocks!]] <</if>><<elseif $encounter gte 15>>You wake up just in time to watch the sunrise, feeling rested…but damp. Your trousers are soaked by a substance that you really don’t want to think about. [[Think about the substance soaking your trousers.]] [[Return to the path toward Purfani.|Chart a course straight through to Purfani!]] [[Visit the village of Westerlind.|Trek to the village of Westerlind!]] <<if $dysentery lt 1>>[[Check out the Nonbibemus River.|Visit the Nonbibemus River!]] <</if>><<if $golem is false>>[[Take the scenic route to Oddrocks!|Make a stop at Oddrocks!]] <</if>><<elseif $encounter gte 6>>You toss and turn for the duration of your nap. When you finally awaken, you have a Charlie horse in your leg and the morning sunrise shining in your eyes. You don’t feel very rested at all. <<set $exhaustion to 1>> [[Return to the path toward Purfani.|Chart a course straight through to Purfani!]] [[Visit the village of Westerlind.|Trek to the village of Westerlind!]] <<if $dysentery lt 1>>[[Check out the Nonbibemus River.|Visit the Nonbibemus River!]] <</if>><<if $golem is false>>[[Take the scenic route to Oddrocks!|Make a stop at Oddrocks!]] <</if>><<elseif $encounter gte 2>>You don’t sleep very well at all, tossing and turning all night. However, this is perhaps lucky for you, because, in your sleepless misery, you hear a gang of bandits sneaking up on you. <<set $exhaustion to 1>> It is hard to make out what they are whispering, but you gather it's something like, "Let's murder this stupid adventurer and steal their stuff!" <<if $hasSword is true>>[[Attack the approaching bandits with your sword!]] <</if>><<if $hasBow is true>>[[Attack the approaching bandits with your bow!]] <</if>>"[[Wait! Don't kill me! I know Ray Diamond, the Bandit King!]]"<<elseif $encounter gte 1>>You sleep soundly! So soundly, in fact, that you entirely miss the sound of Bandits sneaking up on you. [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?|Set up camp for the night.]] <</if>><</if>>

<<if visitedTags("Westerlind") gte 1>> You rest your head on the soft, grassy, earth and after some time, you knock out for a quick 9 hour nap. <<set $exhaustion to 0>> <<set $encounter to random(1,100)>><<if $encounter gte 97>>You wake up a few hours after sunrise feeling completely rested and refreshed, witnessing the light spread out over a verdant expanse. To top it all off, you find a big ol’ bag o’ gold nearby to where you were resting. Must have missed this last night, somehow!<<set $goldtotal to $goldtotal + 1>> [[Return to the Westerlind Village path.|Continue on to the Village of Westerlind!]]<<elseif $encounter gte 60>>You wake up well-rested and fairly refreshed, a few hours after sunrise. A pungent stench enters your nostrils as you notice a fresh pile of rabbit droppings near your head. [[Return to the Westerlind Village path.|Continue on to the Village of Westerlind!]]<<elseif $encounter gte 42>>You are abruptly awoken by a galloping deer that stomps on your abdomen. The pain scarcely registers before a charging leopard similarly stomps on your abdomen while racing after the deer. After a moment or two of writhing in pain, you are fairly certain that no other critters will use you as a doormat. Perhaps if you woke up earlier in the morning, you wouldn’t have been stepped on. [[Return to the Westerlind Village path.|Continue on to the Village of Westerlind!]]<<elseif $encounter gte 30>>You wake up a few hours after sunrise feeling rested…but damp. Your trousers are soaked by a substance that you really don’t want to think about. [[Return to the Westerlind Village path.|Continue on to the Village of Westerlind!]]<<elseif $encounter gte 20>>You toss and turn for the duration of your nap. When you finally awaken, you have a Charlie horse in your leg and the morning sun shining in your eyes. You don’t feel very rested at all. <<set $exhaustion to 1>> [[Return to the Westerlind Village path.|Continue on to the Village of Westerlind!]]<<elseif $encounter gte 5>>You don’t sleep very well at all, tossing and turning all night. However, this is perhaps lucky for you, because, in your sleepless misery, you hear a gang of bandits sneaking up on you. <<set $exhaustion to 1>> It is hard to make out what they are whispering, but you gather it's something like, "Let's murder this stupid adventurer and steal their stuff!" <<if $hasSword is true>>[[Attack the approaching bandits with your sword!]] <</if>><<if $hasBow is true>>[[Attack the approaching bandits with your bow!]] <</if>>"[[Wait! Don't kill me! I know Ray Diamond, the Bandit King!]]"<<elseif $encounter gte 1>>You sleep soundly! So soundly, in fact, that you entirely miss the sound of Bandits sneaking up on you. [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?|Set up camp for the night.]]<</if>><</if>><<if visitedTags("Westerlind") lte 0>>You rest your head on the soft, grassy, earth and after some time, you knock out for a quick 9 hour nap. <<set $exhaustion to 0>> <<set $encounter to random(1,100)>><<if $encounter gte 97>>You wake up a few hours after sunrise feeling completely rested and refreshed, witnessing the light spread out over a verdant expanse. To top it all off, you find a big ol’ bag o’ gold nearby to where you were resting. Must have missed this last night, somehow!<<set $goldtotal to $goldtotal + 1>> [[Return to the path toward Purfani.|Chart a course straight through to Purfani!]] [[Visit the village of Westerlind.|Trek to the village of Westerlind!]] <<if $dysentery lt 1>>[[Check out the Nonbibemus River.|Visit the Nonbibemus River!]] <</if>><<if $golem is false>>[[Take the scenic route to Oddrocks!|Make a stop at Oddrocks!]] <</if>><<elseif $encounter gte 60>>You wake up well-rested and fairly refreshed a few hours after sunrise. A pungent stench enters your nostrils as you notice a fresh pile of rabbit droppings near your head. [[Return to the path toward Purfani.|Chart a course straight through to Purfani!]] [[Visit the village of Westerlind.|Trek to the village of Westerlind!]] <<if $dysentery lt 1>>[[Check out the Nonbibemus River.|Visit the Nonbibemus River!]] <</if>><<if $golem is false>>[[Take the scenic route to Oddrocks!|Make a stop at Oddrocks!]] <</if>><<elseif $encounter gte 42>>You are abruptly awoken by a galloping deer that stomps on your abdomen. The pain scarcely registers before a charging leopard similarly stomps on your abdomen while racing after the deer. After a moment or two of writhing in pain, you are fairly certain that no other critters will use you as a doormat. Perhaps if you woke up a little earlier in the morning, you wouldn’t have been stepped on. [[Return to the path toward Purfani.|Chart a course straight through to Purfani!]] [[Visit the village of Westerlind.|Trek to the village of Westerlind!]] <<if $dysentery lt 1>>[[Check out the Nonbibemus River.|Visit the Nonbibemus River!]] <</if>><<if $golem is false>>[[Take the scenic route to Oddrocks!|Make a stop at Oddrocks!]] <</if>><<elseif $encounter gte 30>>You wake up a few hours after sunrise feeling rested…but damp. Your trousers are soaked by a substance that you really don’t want to think about. [[Think about the substance soaking your trousers.]] [[Return to the path toward Purfani.|Chart a course straight through to Purfani!]] [[Visit the village of Westerlind.|Trek to the village of Westerlind!]] <<if $dysentery lt 1>>[[Check out the Nonbibemus River.|Visit the Nonbibemus River!]] <</if>><<if $golem is false>>[[Take the scenic route to Oddrocks!|Make a stop at Oddrocks!]] <</if>><<elseif $encounter gte 20>>You toss and turn for the duration of your nap. When you finally awaken, you have a Charlie horse in your leg and the early morning sun shining in your eyes. You don’t feel very rested at all. <<set $exhaustion to 1>> [[Return to the path toward Purfani.|Chart a course straight through to Purfani!]] [[Visit the village of Westerlind.|Trek to the village of Westerlind!]] <<if $dysentery lt 1>>[[Check out the Nonbibemus River.|Visit the Nonbibemus River!]] <</if>><<if $golem is false>>[[Take the scenic route to Oddrocks!|Make a stop at Oddrocks!]] <</if>><<elseif $encounter gte 5>>You don’t sleep very well at all, tossing and turning all night. However, this is perhaps lucky for you, because, in your sleepless misery, you hear a gang of bandits sneaking up on you. <<set $exhaustion to 1>> It is hard to make out what they are whispering, but you gather it's something like, "Let's murder this stupid adventurer and steal their stuff!" <<if $hasSword is true>>[[Attack the approaching bandits with your sword!]] <</if>><<if $hasBow is true>>[[Attack the approaching bandits with your bow!]] <</if>>"[[Wait! Don't kill me! I know Ray Diamond, the Bandit King!]]"<<elseif $encounter gte 1>>You sleep soundly! So soundly, in fact, that you entirely miss the sound of Bandits sneaking up on you. [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?|Set up camp for the night.]]<</if>><</if>>

<<if visitedTags("Westerlind") lte 0>>You rest your head on the soft, grassy, earth and after some time, you knock out for a quick 11 hour nap. <<set $exhaustion to 0>> <<set $encounter to random(1,100)>><<if $encounter gte 97>>You wake up late in the morning feeling completely rested and refreshed, witnessing the light spread out over a verdant expanse. To top it all off, you find a big ol’ bag o’ gold nearby to where you were resting. Must have missed this last night, somehow!<<set $goldtotal to $goldtotal + 1>> [[Return to the path toward Purfani.|Chart a course straight through to Purfani!]] [[Visit the village of Westerlind.|Trek to the village of Westerlind!]] <<if $dysentery lt 1>>[[Check out the Nonbibemus River.|Visit the Nonbibemus River!]] <</if>><<if $golem is false>>[[Take the scenic route to Oddrocks!|Make a stop at Oddrocks!]] <</if>><<elseif $encounter gte 70>>You wake up well-rested and fairly refreshed, late into the morning. A pungent stench enters your nostrils as you notice a fresh pile of rabbit droppings near your head. [[Return to the path toward Purfani.|Chart a course straight through to Purfani!]] [[Visit the village of Westerlind.|Trek to the village of Westerlind!]] <<if $dysentery lt 1>>[[Check out the Nonbibemus River.|Visit the Nonbibemus River!]] <</if>><<if $golem is false>>[[Take the scenic route to Oddrocks!|Make a stop at Oddrocks!]] <</if>><<elseif $encounter gte 52>>You are abruptly awoken by a galloping deer that stomps on your abdomen. The pain scarcely registers before a charging leopard similarly stomps on your abdomen while racing after the deer. After a moment or two of writhing in pain, you are fairly certain that no other critters will use you as a doormat. Perhaps if you woke up earlier in the morning, you wouldn’t have been stepped on. [[Return to the path toward Purfani.|Chart a course straight through to Purfani!]] [[Visit the village of Westerlind.|Trek to the village of Westerlind!]] <<if $dysentery lt 1>>[[Check out the Nonbibemus River.|Visit the Nonbibemus River!]] <</if>><<if $golem is false>>[[Take the scenic route to Oddrocks!|Make a stop at Oddrocks!]] <</if>><<elseif $encounter gte 40>>You wake up late in the morning feeling rested…but damp. Your trousers are soaked by a substance that you really don’t want to think about. [[Think about the substance soaking your trousers.]] [[Return to the path toward Purfani.|Chart a course straight through to Purfani!]] [[Visit the village of Westerlind.|Trek to the village of Westerlind!]] <<if $dysentery lt 1>>[[Check out the Nonbibemus River.|Visit the Nonbibemus River!]] <</if>><<if $golem is false>>[[Take the scenic route to Oddrocks!|Make a stop at Oddrocks!]] <</if>><<elseif $encounter gte 20>>You toss and turn for the duration of your nap. When you finally awaken, you have a Charlie horse in your leg and the morning sun shining in your eyes. You don’t feel very rested at all. <<set $exhaustion to 1>> [[Return to the path toward Purfani.|Chart a course straight through to Purfani!]] [[Visit the village of Westerlind.|Trek to the village of Westerlind!]] <<if $dysentery lt 1>>[[Check out the Nonbibemus River.|Visit the Nonbibemus River!]] <</if>><<if $golem is false>>[[Take the scenic route to Oddrocks!|Make a stop at Oddrocks!]] <</if>><<elseif $encounter gte 5>>You don’t sleep very well at all, tossing and turning all night. However, this is perhaps lucky for you, because, in your sleepless misery, you hear a gang of bandits sneaking up on you. <<set $exhaustion to 1>> It is hard to make out what they are whispering, but you gather it's something like, "Let's murder this stupid adventurer and steal their stuff!" <<if $hasSword is true>>[[Attack the approaching bandits with your sword!]] <</if>><<if $hasBow is true>>[[Attack the approaching bandits with your bow!]] <</if>>"[[Wait! Don't kill me! I know Ray Diamond, the Bandit King!]]"<<elseif $encounter gte 1>>You sleep soundly! So soundly, in fact, that you entirely miss the sound of Bandits sneaking up on you. [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?|Set up camp for the night.]]<</if>> <<else>>You rest your head on the soft, grassy, earth and after some time, you knock out for a quick 11 hour nap. <<set $exhaustion to 0>> <<set $encounter to random(1,100)>><<if $encounter gte 97>>You wake up late in the morning feeling completely rested and refreshed, witnessing the light spread out over a verdant expanse. To top it all off, you find a big ol’ bag o’ gold nearby to where you were resting. Must have missed this last night, somehow!<<set $goldtotal to $goldtotal + 1>> [[Return to the Westerlind Village path.|Continue on to the Village of Westerlind!]]<<elseif $encounter gte 70>>You wake up well-rested and fairly refreshed, late into the morning. A pungent stench enters your nostrils as you notice a fresh pile of rabbit droppings near your head. [[Return to the Westerlind Village path.|Continue on to the Village of Westerlind!]]<<elseif $encounter gte 51>>You are abruptly awoken by a galloping deer that stomps on your abdomen. The pain scarcely registers before a charging leopard similarly stomps on your abdomen while racing after the deer. After a moment or two of writhing in pain, you are fairly certain that no other critters will use you as a doormat. Perhaps if you woke up earlier in the morning, you wouldn’t have been stepped on. [[Return to the Westerlind Village path.|Continue on to the Village of Westerlind!]]<<elseif $encounter gte 40>>You wake up late in the morning feeling rested…but damp. Your trousers are soaked by a substance that you really don’t want to think about. [[Return to the Westerlind Village path.|Continue on to the Village of Westerlind!]]<<elseif $encounter gte 25>>You toss and turn for the duration of your nap. When you finally awaken, you have a Charlie horse in your leg and the morning sun shining in your eyes. You don’t feel very rested at all. <<set $exhaustion to 1>> [[Return to the Westerlind Village path.|Continue on to the Village of Westerlind!]]<<elseif $encounter gte 5>>You don’t sleep very well at all, tossing and turning all night. However, this is perhaps lucky for you, because, in your sleepless misery, you hear a gang of bandits sneaking up on you. <<set $exhaustion to 1>> It is hard to make out what they are whispering, but you gather it's something like, "Let's murder this stupid adventurer and steal their stuff!" <<if $hasSword is true>>[[Attack the approaching bandits with your sword!]] <</if>><<if $hasBow is true>>[[Attack the approaching bandits with your bow!]] <</if>>"[[Wait! Don't kill me! I know Ray Diamond, the Bandit King!]]"<<elseif $encounter gte 1>>You sleep soundly! So soundly, in fact, that you entirely miss the sound of Bandits sneaking up on you. [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?|Set up camp for the night.]] <</if>><</if>>

You scramble to think of a way out of this predicament, and shout that you know Ray Diamond! The apparent bandit leader retorts, "You know Ray Diamond? I hate that guy! He still owes me money!" <<if $hasSword is true>>[[Attack the approaching bandits with your sword!]] <</if>><<if $hasBow is true>>[[Attack the approaching bandits with your bow!]] <</if>><<if $deadbandits is true>>"[[Don't worry! I killed him!]]" <</if>><<if $goldtotal gte 1>>"[[I can give you a Big Ol' Bag o' Gold!]]" <</if>>"[[Well, that is unfortunate.]]"

<<if visitedTags("Westerlind") lte 0>><<if $golemgood is false>>You draw your <<print $swordtype>> and charge at the bandits! But unfortunately you are much too slow and outnumbered. They cut you down quickly.<<set $banditdeath to $banditdeath + 1>> [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?|Set up camp for the night.]]<</if>><<if $golemgood is true>>You draw your <<print $swordtype>> and charge at the bandits! But before you can slash at them, your Golem springs to life and smashes all of the bandits in a flash! You sure are lucky that it was here!<<set $golemsmash to $golemsmash + 1>> [[Return to the path toward Purfani.|Chart a course straight through to Purfani!]] [[Visit the village of Westerlind instead.|Trek to the village of Westerlind!]] <<if $dysentery lt 1>>[[Check out the Nonbibemus River.|Visit the Nonbibemus River!]] <</if>>[[Take the scenic route to Oddrocks!|Make a stop at Oddrocks!]]<</if>><</if>><<if visitedTags("Westerlind") gte 1>><<if $golemgood is false>>You draw your <<print $swordtype>> and charge at the bandits! But unfortunately you are much too slow and outnumbered. They cut you down quickly.<<set $banditdeath to $banditdeath + 1>> [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?|Set up camp for the night.]]<</if>><<if $golemgood is true>>You draw your <<print $swordtype>> and charge at the bandits! But before you can slash at them, your Golem springs to life and smashes all of the bandits in a flash! You sure are lucky that it's here!<<set $golemsmash to $golemsmash + 1>> [[Return to the Westerlind Village path.|Continue on to the Village of Westerlind!]]<</if>><</if>>

<<if visitedTags("Westerlind") lte 0>><<if $golemgood is false>>You draw your <<print $bowtype>> and shoot at the bandits! But unfortunately you are much too slow and outnumbered. They cut you down quickly.<<set $banditdeath to $banditdeath + 1>> [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?|Set up camp for the night.]]<</if>><<if $golemgood is true>>You draw your <<print $bowtype>> and shoot at the bandits! But before you can loose an arrow, your Golem springs to life and smashes all of the bandits in a flash! You sure are lucky that it's here!<<set $golemsmash to $golemsmash + 1>> [[Return to the path toward Purfani.|Chart a course straight through to Purfani!]] [[Visit the village of Westerlind instead.|Trek to the village of Westerlind!]] <<if $dysentery lt 1>>[[Check out the Nonbibemus River.|Visit the Nonbibemus River!]] <</if>>[[Take the scenic route to Oddrocks!|Make a stop at Oddrocks!]]<</if>><</if>><<if visitedTags("Westerlind") gte 1>><<if $golemgood is false>>You draw your Bow of Questionable Durability and shoot at the bandits! But unfortunately you are much too slow and outnumbered. They cut you down quickly.<<set $banditdeath to $banditdeath + 1>> [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?|Set up camp for the night.]]<</if>><<if $golemgood is true>>You draw your <<print $bowtype>> and shoot at the bandits! But before you can loose an arrow, your Golem springs to life and smashes all of the bandits in a flash! You sure are lucky that it's here!<<set $golemsmash to $golemsmash + 1>> [[Return to the Westerlind Village path.|Continue on to the Village of Westerlind!]]<</if>><</if>>

You think about the substance soaking your trousers. You really don't want to think about it, so you stop. [[Return to the path toward Purfani.|Chart a course straight through to Purfani!]] [[Visit the village of Westerlind.|Trek to the village of Westerlind!]] <<if $dysentery lt 1>>[[Check out the Nonbibemus River.|Visit the Nonbibemus River!]] <</if>>[[Take the scenic route to Oddrocks!|Make a stop at Oddrocks!]]

You arrange the stones in the indentations of one of the larger boulders until it spells out, "U,U,D,D,L,R,L,R,A,B". Upon placing the last stone, the runes glow a brilliant yellow color! The large boulders roll on top of each other at odd, and often impossible, angles. After a short time the stones stop moving individually, and instead move as one. You now see that the stones have assembled a very large humanoid golem. The 50-foot tall construct cocks it’s massive head in your direction. Several very small pebbles form some rather impressive eyebrows. The golem raises one eyebrow, regarding you incredulously. You open your mouth to speak with the monstrosity, but are quickly stifled by a gigantic stony fist slamming you several feet into the soft ground. <<set $golemdeath to $golemdeath + 1>> [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?|Position the rune rocks in the indentations.]]

You arrange the stones in the indentations of one of the larger boulders until it spells out, "X,A,B,Y". Upon placing the last stone, the runes glow a deep blood red! The large boulders roll on top of each other at odd, and often impossible, angles. After a short time the stones stop moving individually, and instead move as one. You now see that the stones have assembled a very large humanoid Golem. The 50-foot tall construct cocks it’s massive head in your direction. Several very small pebbles form some rather impressive eyebrows. The golem raises one eyebrow, regarding you incredulously. You open your mouth to speak with the monstrosity, but it pays you no heed. The Golem’s slow, looming steps guide it to the North deceptively quickly! As it disappears into the distance, you get a sinking feeling that you //may// have arranged the runes improperly. What’s the worst that can happen, though? Right? <<set $golem to true>><<set $badgolem to true>> [[Return to the path toward Purfani.|Chart a course straight through to Purfani!]] [[Visit the village of Westerlind.|Trek to the village of Westerlind!]] <<if $dysentery lt 1>>[[Check out the Nonbibemus River.|Visit the Nonbibemus River!]] <</if>>[[Set up camp for the night.]]

You arrange the stones in the indentations of one of the larger boulders until it spells out, "X,Y,Z,Z,Y". Upon placing the last stone, the runes glow an enchanting sapphire blue! The large boulders roll on top of each other at odd, and often impossible, angles. After a short time the stones stop moving individually, and instead move as one. You now see that the stones have assembled a very large humanoid golem. A fist-sized sapphire drops to the ground and rolls to your feet. Instinctually, you pick it up.<<pickup '$inventory' unique '[[Golem Control Sapphire]]'>> The 50-foot tall construct cocks its massive head in your direction. Several very small pebbles form some rather impressive eyebrows. The golem raises one eyebrow, regarding you incredulously. "ARE YOU THE TITANMASTER?" Its voice booms and echoes around you. As you search for the courage to respond, it continues, "THIS ONE WILL TAKE YOUR SILENCE AS CONFIRMATION. THIS ONE IS THE TREMOR GOLEM. AWAITING ORDERS." You briefly consider asking why wouldn’t it refer to you as //"Golem Master"// instead, but you quickly come to your pedantic senses. What will you tell it to do? <<set $golem to true>> "[[Jump up and down!]]" "[[Show me how hard you can punch!]]" "[[Provide me with transportation!]]"

You arrange the stones in the indentations of one of the larger boulders until it spells out, "O,M,G,W,T,F,B,B,Q". Upon placing the last stone, the runes glow a deep purple color, then return to a dull blue. You get the distinct impression that the stones are judging you. [[Pull the stones out and try again.|Position the rune rocks in the indentations.]]

You arrange the stones in the indentations of one of the larger boulders until it spells out, "M,M,O,R,P,G". Upon placing the last stone, the runes glow a rich green color! The larger boulders begin moving and assembling themselves on top of each other forming a fantastic shape. Then, just as suddenly, the green color fades from the runes and the boulders come crashing to the ground. Unfortunately, you were in between the boulders and the ground.<<set $golemdeath to $golemdeath + 1>> [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?|Position the rune rocks in the indentations.]]

You arrange the stones in the indentations of one of the larger boulders until it spells out, "A,B,X,Y,S,S". Upon placing the last stone, the runes glow a burning orange color! The large boulders begin vibrating faster, and faster, and faster still! Then, just as suddenly, the vibration stops and the orange color fades from the runes. The stones then explode brilliantly, taking you out in fireball that can be seen for miles!<<set $golemdeath to $golemdeath + 1>> [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?|Position the rune rocks in the indentations.]]

You arrange the stones in the indentations of one of the larger boulders until it spells out, "Z,Y,X,X,Y". Upon placing the last stone, the runes glow an ominous crimson! The large boulders roll on top of each other at odd, and often impossible, angles. After a short time the stones stop moving individually, and instead move as one. You now see that the stones have assembled a very large humanoid Golem. The 50-foot tall construct cocks it’s massive head in your direction. Several very small pebbles form some rather impressive eyebrows. The golem raises one eyebrow, regarding you incredulously. You open your mouth to speak with the monstrosity, but it pays you no heed. The Golem’s slow, looming steps guide it to the North deceptively quickly! As it disappears into the distance, you get a sinking feeling that you //may// have arranged the runes improperly. What’s the worst that can happen, though? Right? <<set $golem to true>><<set $golembad to true>> [[Return to the path toward Purfani.|Chart a course straight through to Purfani!]] [[Visit the village of Westerlind.|Trek to the village of Westerlind!]] <<if $dysentery lt 1>>[[Check out the Nonbibemus River.|Visit the Nonbibemus River!]] <</if>>[[Set up camp for the night.]]

You arrange the stones in the indentations of one of the larger boulders until it spells out, "X,Y,X,Y,Z". Upon placing the last stone, the runes glow an ominous crimson! The large boulders roll on top of each other at odd, and often impossible, angles. After a short time the stones stop moving individually, and instead move as one. You now see that the stones have assembled a very large humanoid Golem. The 50-foot tall construct cocks it’s massive head in your direction. Several very small pebbles form some rather impressive eyebrows. The golem raises one eyebrow, regarding you incredulously. You open your mouth to speak with the monstrosity, but it pays you no heed. The Golem’s slow, looming steps guide it to the North deceptively quickly! As it disappears into the distance, you get a sinking feeling that you //may// have arranged the runes improperly. What’s the worst that can happen, though? Right? <<set $golem to true>><<set $golembad to true>> [[Return to the path toward Purfani.|Chart a course straight through to Purfani!]] [[Visit the village of Westerlind.|Trek to the village of Westerlind!]] <<if $dysentery lt 1>>[[Check out the Nonbibemus River.|Visit the Nonbibemus River!]] <</if>>[[Set up camp for the night.]]

You command the Tremor Golem to jump up and down in place. Without hesitation the stony construct jumps impressively high, and crashes to the ground repeatedly. In addition to minor earthquakes, pieces of rock fall from the Tremor Golem and squash you flat. You probably should have moved away from the Golem prior to asking it to jump. Without a master, the Tremor Golem reverts back to a pile of rocks.<<set $golemdeath to $golemdeath + 1>> [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?|Good Golem]]

You clutch the sapphire and command the Tremor Golem to show you how hard it can punch. As soon as the words leave your lips, you realize they were a mistake. The sapphire glows brightly and you watch, frozen in fear, as the clenched fist of stone flies toward you with the strength of a freight train. It connects with a single, sickening "thud". Without a master, the Tremor Golem reverts back to a pile of rocks.<<set $golemdeath to $golemdeath + 1>> [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?|Good Golem]]

You ask the Tremor Golem to provide you with transportation. <<set $golemgood to true>> It lowers its hand to the ground in the universal motion for "hop on". Knowing better than to argue with a 50-foot tall stone monster, you climb up onto the hand. It raises you to its shoulder and deposits you there. Where would you like to go? [[Return to the path toward Purfani.|Chart a course straight through to Purfani!]] [[Visit the village of Westerlind.|Trek to the village of Westerlind!]] <<if $dysentery lt 1>>[[Check out the Nonbibemus River.|Visit the Nonbibemus River!]] <</if>>[[Set up camp for the night.]]

<<if visitedTags("Westerlind") lte 0>><<if $golemgood is false>>You appeal to the bandit leader's sense of vengeance. She replies: "I truly hate Ray Diamond, but I hate bandit-killers even more." The bandits all point their swords at you. Oh well. It was worth a shot! [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?|Set up camp for the night.]]<</if>><<if $golemgood is true>>You appeal to the bandit leader's sense of vengeance. She replies: "I truly hate Ray Diamond, but I hate bandit-killers even more." The bandits all point their swords at you. "Oh well. It was worth a shot!" You think, as you resign yourself to your fate. However, your golem has other ideas! It springs to life and smashes all of the bandits in a flash! You sure are lucky that it was here!<<set $golemsmash to $golemsmash + 1>> [[Return to the path toward Purfani.|Chart a course straight through to Purfani!]] [[Visit the village of Westerlind instead.|Trek to the village of Westerlind!]] <<if $dysentery lt 1>>[[Check out the Nonbibemus River.|Visit the Nonbibemus River!]] <</if>>[[Take the scenic route to Oddrocks!|Make a stop at Oddrocks!]]<</if>><</if>><<if visitedTags("Westerlind") gte 1>><<if $golemgood is false>>You appeal to the bandit leader's sense of vengeance. She replies: "I truly hate Ray Diamond, but I hate bandit-killers even more." The bandits all point their swords at you. Oh well. It was worth a shot! [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?|Set up camp for the night.]]<</if>><<if $golemgood is true>>You appeal to the bandit leader's sense of vengeance. She replies: "I truly hate Ray Diamond, but I hate bandit-killers even more." The bandits all point their swords at you. Oh well. It was worth a shot! You resign yourself to your fate. However, your golem has other ideas! It springs to life and smashes all of the bandits in a flash! You sure are lucky that it's here!<<set $golemsmash to $golemsmash + 1>> [[Return to the Westerlind Village path.|Continue on to the Village of Westerlind!]]<</if>><</if>>

You offer a bag of Gold if they leave you be and let you live. The bandit leader considers your offer. She says, "You and I are both well-aware that we can simply kill you and take your bag of gold, along with any other belongings you have. However, let it not be said that I am not a benevolent cutpurse! I shall accept your offer." [[Hand over a Big Ol' Bag o' Gold.]] <<if $hasSword is true>>[[Attack the bandits with your sword!|Attack the approaching bandits with your sword!]] <</if>><<if $hasBow is true>>[[Attack the bandits with your bow!|Attack the approaching bandits with your bow!]] <</if>>

<<if visitedTags("Westerlind") lte 0>><<if $golemgood is false>>You resign yourself to your fate.<<set $banditdeath to $banditdeath + 1>> [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?|Set up camp for the night.]]<</if>><<if $golemgood is true>>You resign yourself to your fate. However, your golem has other ideas! It springs to life and smashes all of the bandits in a flash! You sure are lucky that it was here!<<set $golemsmash to $golemsmash + 1>> [[Return to the path toward Purfani.|Chart a course straight through to Purfani!]] [[Visit the village of Westerlind instead.|Trek to the village of Westerlind!]] <<if $dysentery lt 1>>[[Check out the Nonbibemus River.|Visit the Nonbibemus River!]] <</if>>[[Take the scenic route to Oddrocks!|Make a stop at Oddrocks!]]<</if>><</if>><<if visitedTags("Westerlind") gte 1>><<if $golemgood is false>>You resign yourself to your fate.<<set $banditdeath to $banditdeath + 1>> [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?|Set up camp for the night.]]<</if>><<if $golemgood is true>>You resign yourself to your fate. However, your golem has other ideas! It springs to life and smashes all of the bandits in a flash! You sure are lucky that it's here!<<set $golemsmash to $golemsmash + 1>> [[Return to the Westerlind Village path.|Continue on to the Village of Westerlind!]]<</if>><</if>>

<<if visitedTags("Westerlind") lte 0>>You hand over a Big Ol' Bag o' Gold. <<set $goldstotal to $goldtotal - 1>> True to her word, the bandit leader and her crew leave you be. Phew! [[Return to the path toward Purfani.|Chart a course straight through to Purfani!]] [[Visit the village of Westerlind instead.|Trek to the village of Westerlind!]] <<if $dysentery lt 1>>[[Check out the Nonbibemus River.|Visit the Nonbibemus River!]] <</if>>[[Take the scenic route to Oddrocks!|Make a stop at Oddrocks!]]<<if visitedTags("Westerlind") gte 1>>You hand over a Big Ol' Bag o' Gold. <<set $goldstotal to $goldtotal - 1>> True to her word, the bandit leader and her crew leave you be. Phew! [[Return to the Westerlind Village path.|Continue on to the Village of Westerlind!]]<</if>><</if>>

You attempt to ford the river on your golem. You recall something you were told at some point in your life: "Never ford the river!" In retrospect, this seems like sound advice. This moment of clarity comes to you as the Tremor Golem is swept off its massive feet, causing your to fall in the river, hit your head on a rock, and subsequently drown. Oops.<<set $envirodeath to $envirodeath + 1>> [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?|Visit the Nonbibemus River!]]

You continue on the path toward the village of Westerlind. <<if visited("Continue on to the Village of Westerlind!") lte 1>><<set $exhaustion to $exhaustion + 1>><</if>> <<if $dysentery is 0>> The village is slightly off course from your way to Purfani, but only slightly.<<if $golemgood is true>> Riding atop a Golem is a great way to make up the lost time.<</if>><<if $golembad is true>> A line of large divots follows alongside your path. That might be a bad sign, but it's probably nothing.<</if>> Westerlind is a few miles ahead of you, sitting atop a hill. <<if $golembad is true>>You see smoke rising from the city; a sure sign of industry!<</if>> [[Approach the gates of the city.]]<</if>><<if $dysentery gte 1>> However, you become delirious from your extreme fever and you're now feeling excruciating abdominal pain. In a singular moment of clarity, you realize you should not have drunk the water from the Nonbibemus River. You then collapse to the ground and lay silent.<<set $envirodeath to $envirodeath + 1>><<set $dysentery to 0>> [[YOU HAVE DIED OF RAPID-ONSET DYSENTERY! Turn back time?|Visit the Nonbibemus River!]] <</if>>

You approach the gates of the Westerlind, situated at the base of the hill. <<if $golembad is true>> The large wooden doors of the gate are ripped from their hinges and splayed about the ground, peppered with an impressive explosion of splinters. You find pieces of two gate guards strewn among the debris. As you stand there questioning whether this is some type of art installation that you just don’t understand, or an equally odd design choice that you just don’t understand, the scent of smoke enters your nostrils. You snap out of your ponderous contemplation to look about the village, which you now see is on fire in several places. Putting 2 and 2 together, you figure out that something very large has smashed through the gates of Westerlind, then smashed through the entirety of Westerlind itself. You spy Golem-shaped footprints on the ground leading into the village proper. That has to just be a coincidence, right?<<set $westerlinddestroyed to true>> Regardless, the village has been destroyed and there is nothing further for you here. [[Slowly slink away, and rejoin the path to Purfani.|Chart a course straight through to Purfani!]]<<elseif $golemgood is true>> Your Golem arrives at the large wooden doors. Two guards at the gate appear to be waving at you and yelling something. You wave back and point to your ear, signaling that you can’t make out what they are saying. [[Command your Golem to take you into Westerlind Village.]] [[Park your Golem outside the gates and slowly disembark.]] [[Jump down to the ground from the Golem’s shoulder.]]<<else>> You arrive at the large wooden doors to Westerlind and you're greeted by a pair of guards. After a few moments of small talk, they signal for the doors to open. The path leads up the hill into the village proper. <<if $hasSword is true>>[[Attack the guards with your sword!]] <</if>><<if $hasBow is true>>[[Attack the guards with your bow!]]<</if>> [[Attack the guards with your fists!]] [[Walk into the village.|Continue into the village.]] [[Change your mind and rejoin the path to Purfani.|Chart a course straight through to Purfani!]]<</if>>

You stroll up to the gates of Westerlind. The large wooden doors are already open, and the gate guards briefly greet you, but otherwise pay you little heed. You follow your feet past the doors. There is a sign alongside the entry path that says "Welcome to Westerlind, the Jewel of the Plains!" Neat. [[Explore the village.]]

You give the order for your Golem to keep moving into the village of Westerlind.<<set $westerlinddestroyed to true>> The Golem, eager to please, continues into Westerlind. <<if $westerlinddeadguards is false>>The two guards below begin waving frantically at you. You wave back as they jump away from the gate.<</if>> The Golem smashes through the large wooden doors of the gate in an impressive spray of splinters. <<if $westerlinddeadguards is false>>It suddenly dawns on you that perhaps those guards were trying to implore you to //stop//. That makes sense!<</if>> You try to get the Golem to stop, but accidentally drop your Golem Control Sapphire. When you bend over to pick it up, you lose your footing and fall down the backside of the construct. You manage to grab hold of one of the rocks jutting out of the back of the Golem’s leg, but the jostling movement causes you to loosen your grip until you fall the rest of the way to the ground. You land upon the soft grass on the side of the path and manage to remain relatively unscathed. Unfortunately, the Tremor Golem continues on into the village, without the benefit of you feeding it commands. Eventually, the Golem realizes that it left you behind, and returns to the spot where you fell. It leans down and provides its hand to lift you up to its shoulder, where you find the Golem Control Sapphire you previously dropped. From this height you can see a wide swath of death and destruction left in the wake of your Tremor Golem. Westerlind lies in ruin, and, additionally, is on fire. You feel as if you have learned an important lesson. [[Slowly slink away, and rejoin the path to Purfani.|Chart a course straight through to Purfani!]]

You command your Golem to set you down on the ground. It offers its open palm to you to step off of the shoulder and lowers you to the ground. You implore the Golem to park itself to the side of the gate. It sits down, curls up, and remains still. It seems to have done very little damage to the well-kept grass. You stroll up to the large wooden doors of the entry gate, expecting the gate guards to greet you, but they seem pre-occupied inspecting the Tremor Golem. You let yourself in. There is a sign alongside the entry path that says "Welcome to Westerlind, the Jewel of the Plains!" Neat. [[Explore the village.]]

You jump off the shoulder of your Golem to the ground below. Either you overestimated your leaping abilities, or underestimated the distance to the ground. Regardless, you smack into the solid-rock path and now resemble an accordion. <<set $envirodeath to $envirodeath + 1>> [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?|Approach the gates of the city.]]

You attack the guards with your <<print $swordtype>>! <<if $swordtype is "Sword of Tetanus">>You did not count on these guards being well trained. You managed to catch one of them off guard with your attack, but your Sword snaps in half, clearly weakened by the rust! Without a weapon, you are quickly cut down.<<set $guarddeath to $guarddeath + 1>> [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?|previous()]]<</if>><<if $swordtype is "Obsidian Steel Scimitar">>The guards are well trained, but you have an amazing sword! The Obsidian Steel Scimitar cuts through guard after guard, imbuing you with suprenatural speed, or at least it feels that way. When the dust settles, you are left standing among an alarming number of bodies. <<set $westerlinddeadguards to true>> <<if $golemgood is true>>[[Request that your Golem lifts you up to its shoulder!]] <</if>>[[Rejoin the path to Purfani.|Chart a course straight through to Purfani!]]<</if>>

<<if $westerlinddeadguards is true>>You return to the village center. Shortly after arriving, you are set-upon in an ambush by the remaining village guards. Maybe murdering those gate guards then returning to the city was a terrible idea. Maybe. <<set $guarddeath to $guarddeath + 1>> [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?|Command your Golem to smash the guards!]]<</if>><<if $westerlinddeadguards is false>><<if visitedTags("explorevillage") gt 1>>You return to the village center. Where would you like to go?<</if>><<if visitedTags("explorevillage") lte 1>>You explore the village of Westerlind, which, if you are being honest with yourself, is actually bordering on the size of a small city. The words that would best describe this city are "quaint" and "cheerful". The villagers are warm and welcoming, while giving off a sense of eternal optimism. You think to yourself how much of a shame it would be if the city were destroyed by a giant rock monster.<<if $golem is false>> What a strange thought to have!<</if>> While the architecture and citizens are lovely, the main attraction to this village seems to be its thriving center of trade. Several stalls are set up, including a money-changer, an odds-and-ends Trader, and an arms and armor dealer.<</if>> [[Speak with the money-changer.]] [[Peruse the odds-and-ends Trader’s wares.]] [[Shop for new equipment.]] [[Leave Westerlind!]]<</if>>

You speak with the money-changer. "Greetings!" She exclaims, "Would you like to trade any gems and jewels for gold and platinum?" She points to a sign on her stall. <center>For Trade:</center><ul> <center><li>10 Big Ol' Bags o' Gold <------> 1 Lil' Ol' Pouch O' Platinum</li></center> <center><li>1 Diamond <------> 5 Big Ol' Bags o' Gold</li></center> <center><li>1 Sapphire, Emerald, or Ruby <------> 1 Big Ol' Bag o' Gold</li></center> <center><li>5 Topazes, Tourmalines, or Peridots <------> 1 Big Ol' Bag o' Gold</li></center> </ul> <<if $goldtotal lte 9>> "Thanks, very much. I don't need anything at this time." <</if>><<if $goldtotal gte 10>>[[Trade 10 Big Ol' Bags o' Gold for 1 Lil' Ol' Pouch o' Platinum]]<</if>> [[Peruse the odds-and-ends Trader’s wares.]] [[Shop for new equipment.]] [[Leave Westerlind!]]

<<if $oandeTraderdone is true>>The Trader glowers at you as you approach. Perhaps it's best to leave. [[Speak with the money-changer.]] [[Shop for new equipment.]] [[Leave Westerlind!]]<<elseif $traderhungry is true>>You check out the odds-and-ends Trader's stall and peruse his wares. "Yo, what do you want?" Snaps the Trader. In stark contrast to most of the other villagers, this man is giving off serious grumpy vibes. He's staring at you waiting for you to respond. "[[Are you feeling alright, sir?|Are you feeling alright, sir?]]" <<if $hasESsack is false>>[[Examine the Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack.]] <</if>><<if $hasClosingTome is false>>[[Take a look at the Tome of Closing.]] <</if>><<if $hasWakingScroll is false>>[[Consider the Scroll of Waking.]] <</if>><<if $hasQuantumStone is false>>[[Contemplate the Sparkling Stone of Quantum Entanglement.]] <</if>><<if $hasInvisAmulet is false>>[[Ponder the Amulet of Limited Invisibility.]] <</if>><<if $lookhoe is false>>[[Look around for anything else that didn’t immediately stand out.]] <</if>>[[Speak with the money-changer.]] [[Shop for new equipment.]] [[Leave Westerlind!]]<<elseif $traderhungry is false>>You check out the odds-and-ends Trader's stall and peruse his wares. "My friend! Please, tell me if there is anything I can do for you while you browse my humble wares!" Implores the Trader. He seems to be in quite a good mood. He's smiling at you deeply, waiting for you to respond. <<if $hasESsack is false>>[[Examine the Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack.]] <</if>><<if $hasClosingTome is false>>[[Take a look at the Tome of Closing.]] <</if>><<if $hasWakingScroll is false>>[[Consider the Scroll of Waking.]] <</if>><<if $hasQuantumStone is false>>[[Contemplate the Sparkling Stone of Quantum Entanglement.]] <</if>><<if $hasInvisAmulet is false>>[[Ponder the Amulet of Limited Invisibility.]] <</if>><<if $lookhoe is false>>[[Look around for anything else that didn’t immediately stand out.]] <</if>>[[Speak with the money-changer.]] [[Shop for new equipment.]] [[Leave Westerlind!]]<</if>>

You take a few steps over to the equipment vendor’s stall. Suddenly a man appears in front of you and speaks in a voice so smooth it reminds you of silk. "Ho howdy, pardner! Come to inspec’ me wares?" His infectious smile is all the more pronounced by the crookedness of the few teeth he still has. <<if not hasVisited("Would you like a Sunshine Sparkle Cupcake?")>><<if $cupcakes gte 1>>"[[Would you like a Sunshine Sparkle Cupcake?]]" <</if>><</if>><<if $swordtype isnot "Obsidian Steel Scimitar">>[[Give the Obsidian Steel Scimitar a few test swings!]] <</if>><<if $bowtype isnot "Perfect Pierce Longbow">>[[Examine the Perfect Pierce Longbow!]] <</if>><<if $shieldtype isnot "Kite Shield of the Sun Champion">>[[Consider the Kite Shield of the Sun Champion!]] <</if>>[[Speak with the money-changer.]] [[Peruse the odds-and-ends Trader’s wares.]] [[Leave Westerlind!]]

<<if visited("Leave Westerlind!") lte 1>><<set $exhaustion to $exhaustion + 1>><</if>>You stroll to the gates of Westerlind, ready to leave. <<if $golemgood is true>> Your Golem is still waiting for you where you parked it, but a large group of gate guards are investigating it. A few of them are timidly poking at it with spears. The golem seems unresponsive to their prods. [[Command your Golem to smash the guards!]] <<if $hasSword is true>>[[Attack the guards with your sword!]] <</if>><<if $hasBow is true>>[[Attack the guards with your bow!]] <</if>>[[Attack the guards with your fists!]] [[Request that your Golem lifts you up to its shoulder!]] [[Whistle for your golem to come to you and pick you up!]] [[Realize you still want to shop and go back into Westerlind.|Explore the village.]]<</if>><<if $golemgood is false>> It’s still a lovely day and you have a bit of a walk ahead of you. The two gate guards nod to you as you exit the village. <<if $hasSword is true>>[[Attack the guards with your sword!]]<</if>> [[Rejoin the path to Purfani.|Chart a course straight through to Purfani!]] [[Realize you still want to shop and go back into Westerlind.|Explore the village.]] <</if>>

You trade 10 Big Ol' Bags o' Gold for 1 Lil' Ol' Pouch o' Platinum. <<set $goldtotal to $goldtotal - 10>><<set $platinumtotal to $platinumtotal + 1>> Keep in mind that most vendors won't be able to make change for platinum pieces, so you'll need to visit a money changer to make change! Would you like to make any other trades? <<if $goldtotal lte 9>> "Thanks, very much. I don't need anything else at this time." <</if>><<if $goldtotal gte 10>>[[Trade 10 Big Ol' Bags o' Gold for 1 Lil' Ol' Pouch o' Platinum]]<</if>><<if $platinumtotal gte 1>>[[Trade 1 Lil' Ol' Pouch O' Platinum for 10 Big Ol' Bags o' Gold]]<</if>> [[Peruse the odds-and-ends Trader’s wares.]] [[Shop for new equipment.]] [[Leave Westerlind!]]

You take a look at the Tome of Closing. <<if $traderhungry is true>> Abruptly, the Hungry Trader says, "1 big ol’ bag o’ gold." <<if $goldtotal lte 0>>You do not have enough big ol’ bags o’ gold to purchase this item. <</if>> <<if $goldtotal gte 1>><<if visitedTags("boughtitem") lte 0>>[[Purchase the Tome of Closing!]]<</if>><<if visitedTags("boughtitem") gte 1>><<if $hasESsack is false>>You don’t have anywhere to put this item. Perhaps you can purchase an Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack? <</if>> <<if $alright is false>>"[[Are you feeling alright, sir?]]" <</if>><<if $hasESsack is true>>[[Purchase the Tome of Closing!]]<</if>><</if>><</if>> <<if $hasESsack is false>>[[Examine the Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack.]] <</if>><<if $hasESsack is true>>[[Steal the Tome of Closing!|Steal Westerlind]] <</if>><<if $hasWakingScroll is false>>[[Consider the Scroll of Waking.]] <</if>><<if $hasQuantumStone is false>>[[Contemplate the Sparkling Stone of Quantum Entanglement.]] <</if>><<if $hasInvisAmulet is false>>[[Ponder the Amulet of Limited Invisibility.]] <</if>>[[Speak with the money-changer.]] [[Shop for new equipment.]] [[Leave Westerlind!]]<</if>><<if $traderhungry is false>> The Trader gbegins speaking rapidly, "Now, I am not familiar with the arcane arts, but I have been assured that this book can cause things to close automatically! I can part with it for 1 big ol’ bag o’ gold." <<if $goldtotal lte 0>>You do not have enough big ol’ bags o’ gold to purchase this item. <</if>> <<if $goldtotal gte 1>><<if visitedTags("boughtitem") lte 0>>[[Purchase the Tome of Closing!]]<</if>><<if visitedTags("boughtitem") gte 1>><<if $hasESsack is false>>You don’t have anywhere to put this item. Perhaps you can purchase an Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack?<</if>><<if $hasESsack is true>>[[Purchase the Tome of Closing!]]<</if>><</if>><</if>> <<if $hasESsack is false>>[[Examine the Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack.]] <</if>><<if $hasESsack is true>>[[Steal the Tome of Closing!|Steal Westerlind]] <</if>><<if $hasWakingScroll is false>>[[Consider the Scroll of Waking.]] <</if>><<if $hasQuantumStone is false>>[[Contemplate the Sparkling Stone of Quantum Entanglement.]] <</if>><<if $hasInvisAmulet is false>>[[Ponder the Amulet of Limited Invisibility.]] <</if>>[[Speak with the money-changer.]] [[Shop for new equipment.]] [[Leave Westerlind!]]<</if>>

You consider the "Scroll of Waking". <<if $traderhungry is true>> The Hungry Trader says, "Ye’ can have it for 1 big ol’ bag o’ gold." <<if $goldtotal lte 0>>You do not have enough big ol’ bags o’ gold to purchase this item. <</if>> <<if $goldtotal gte 1>><<if visitedTags("boughtitem") lte 0>>[[Purchase the Scroll of Waking!]]<</if>><<if visitedTags("boughtitem") gte 1>><<if $hasESsack is false>>You don’t have anywhere to put this item. Perhaps you can purchase an Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack?<</if>><<if $hasESsack is true>>[[Purchase the Scroll of Waking!]] <</if>><</if>><</if>> <<if $alright is false>>"[[Are you feeling alright, sir?]]" <</if>><<if $hasESsack is false>>[[Examine the Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack.]] <</if>><<if $hasESsack is true>>[[Steal the Scroll of Waking!|Steal Westerlind]] <</if>><<if $hasClosingTome is false>>[[Take a look at the Tome of Closing.]] <</if>><<if $hasQuantumStone is false>>[[Contemplate the Sparkling Stone of Quantum Entanglement.]] <</if>><<if $hasInvisAmulet is false>>[[Ponder the Amulet of Limited Invisibility.]] <</if>>[[Speak with the money-changer.]] [[Shop for new equipment.]] [[Leave Westerlind!]]<</if>><<if $traderhungry is false>> The Trader goes into a sales pitch, "With this scroll, you may never oversleep again! It has the ability to wake you up when cast! I can part with it for 1 big ol’ bag o’ gold!" <<if $goldtotal lte 0>>You do not have enough big ol’ bags o’ gold to purchase this item. <</if>> <<if $goldtotal gte 1>><<if visitedTags("boughtitem") lte 0>>[[Purchase the Scroll of Waking!]]<</if>><<if visitedTags("boughtitem") gte 1>><<if $hasESsack is false>>You don’t have anywhere to put this item. Perhaps you can purchase an Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack?<</if>><<if $hasESsack is true>>[[Purchase the Scroll of Waking!]]<</if>><</if>><</if>> <<if $hasESsack is false>>[[Examine the Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack.]] <</if>><<if $hasESsack is true>>[[Steal the Scroll of Waking!|Steal Westerlind]] <</if>><<if $hasClosingTome is false>>[[Take a look at the Tome of Closing.]] <</if>><<if $hasQuantumStone is false>>[[Contemplate the Sparkling Stone of Quantum Entanglement.]] <</if>><<if $hasInvisAmulet is false>>[[Ponder the Amulet of Limited Invisibility.]] <</if>>[[Speak with the money-changer.]] [[Shop for new equipment.]] [[Leave Westerlind!]]<</if>>

You contemplate the "Sparkling Stone of Quantum Entanglement." <<if $traderhungry is true>> The Hungry Trader says, "Tha’ one’s 2 big ol’ bags o’ gold." <<if $goldtotal lte 1>>You do not have enough big ol’ bags o’ gold to purchase this item. <</if>> <<if $goldtotal gte 2>>[[Purchase the Sparkling Stone of Quantum Entanglement!]] <</if>> <<if $alright is false>>"[[Are you feeling alright, sir?]]" <</if>><<if $hasESsack is false>>[[Examine the Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack.]] <</if>><<if $hasESsack is true>>[[Steal the Sparkling Stone of Quantum Entanglement!|Steal Westerlind]] <</if>><<if $hasClosingTome is false>>[[Take a look at the Tome of Closing.]] <</if>><<if $hasWakingScroll is false>>[[Consider the Scroll of Waking.]] <</if>><<if $hasInvisAmulet is false>>[[Ponder the Amulet of Limited Invisibility.]] <</if>>[[Speak with the money-changer.]] [[Shop for new equipment.]] [[Leave Westerlind!]]<</if>><<if $traderhungry is false>> The Trader nods quickly, "The Sparkling Stone of Quantum Entanglement is quite a curious curio! It has a powerful ability to send you to a safe haven, but it can only be used after reaching the end of a story arc. I have no idea what that means, but I can’t possibly let that go for less than 2 big ol’ bags o’ gold!" <<if $goldtotal lte 1>>You do not have enough big ol’ bags o’ gold to purchase this item. <</if>> <<if $goldtotal gte 2>>[[Purchase the Sparkling Stone of Quantum Entanglement!]] <</if>><<if $hasESsack is false>>[[Examine the Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack.]] <</if>><<if $hasESsack is true>>[[Steal the Sparkling Stone of Quantum Entanglement!|Steal Westerlind]] <</if>><<if $hasClosingTome is false>>[[Take a look at the Tome of Closing.]] <</if>><<if $hasWakingScroll is false>>[[Consider the Scroll of Waking.]] <</if>><<if $hasInvisAmulet is false>>[[Ponder the Amulet of Limited Invisibility.]] <</if>>[[Speak with the money-changer.]] [[Shop for new equipment.]] [[Leave Westerlind!]]<</if>>

You ponder the "Amulet of Limited Invisibility." <<if $traderhungry is true>> The Hungry Trader says, "Ye’ can have it for 1 big ol’ bag o’ gold." <<if $goldtotal lte 0>>You do not have enough big ol’ bags o’ gold to purchase this item. <</if>> <<if $goldtotal gte 1>><<if visitedTags("boughtitem") lte 0>>[[Purchase the Amulet of Limited Invisibility!]]<</if>><<if visitedTags("boughtitem") gte 1>><<if $hasESsack is false>>You don’t have anywhere to put this item. Perhaps you can purchase an Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack? <</if>> <<if $alright is false>>"[[Are you feeling alright, sir?]]" <</if>><<if $hasESsack is true>>[[Purchase the Amulet of Limited Invisibility!]]<</if>><</if>><</if>> <<if $hasESsack is false>>[[Examine the Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack.]] <</if>><<if $hasESsack is true>>[[Steal the Amulet of Limited Invisibility!|Steal Westerlind]] <</if>><<if $hasClosingTome is false>>[[Take a look at the Tome of Closing.]] <</if>><<if $hasQuantumStone is false>>[[Contemplate the Sparkling Stone of Quantum Entanglement.]] <</if>><<if $hasWakingScroll is false>>[[Consider the Scroll of Waking.]] <</if>>[[Speak with the money-changer.]] [[Shop for new equipment.]] [[Leave Westerlind!]]<</if>><<if $traderhungry is false>> The Trader clears his throat, "This amulet bestows the gift of inivisibility, albeit in a limited fashion. Still well worth the price of 1 big ol' bag o' gold!" <<if $goldtotal lte 0>>You do not have enough big ol’ bags o’ gold to purchase this item. <</if>> <<if $goldtotal gte 1>><<if visitedTags("boughtitem") lte 0>>[[Purchase the Amulet of Limited Invisibility!]]<</if>><<if visitedTags("boughtitem") gte 1>><<if $hasESsack is false>>You don’t have anywhere to put this item. Perhaps you can purchase an Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack?<</if>><<if $hasESsack is true>>[[Purchase the Amulet of Limited Invisibility!]]<</if>><</if>><</if>> <<if $hasESsack is false>>[[Examine the Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack.]] <</if>><<if $hasESsack is true>>[[Steal the Amulet of Limited Invisibility!|Steal Westerlind]] <</if>><<if $hasClosingTome is false>>[[Take a look at the Tome of Closing.]] <</if>><<if $hasQuantumStone is false>>[[Contemplate the Sparkling Stone of Quantum Entanglement.]] <</if>><<if $hasWakingScroll is false>>[[Consider the Scroll of Waking.]] <</if>>[[Speak with the money-changer.]] [[Shop for new equipment.]] [[Leave Westerlind!]]<</if>>

<<if $hasd20 is false>>You look around for anything else that didn’t immediately stand out. You don’t see anything else.<<set $lookhoe to true>> <<if $alright is false>>"[[Are you feeling alright, sir?]]" <</if>><<if $hasESsack is false>>[[Examine the Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack.]] <</if>><<if $hasClosingTome is false>>[[Take a look at the Tome of Closing.]] <</if>><<if $hasWakingScroll is false>>[[Consider the Scroll of Waking.]] <</if>><<if $hasQuantumStone is false>>[[Contemplate the Sparkling Stone of Quantum Entanglement.]] <</if>><<if $hasInvisAmulet is false>>[[Ponder the Amulet of Limited Invisibility.]] <</if>>[[Speak with the money-changer.]] [[Shop for new equipment.]] [[Leave Westerlind!]]<</if>><<if $hasd20 is true>>You look around for anything else that didn’t immediately stand out. <<set $lookhoe to true>> You don’t initially see anything, but you feel the Icosahedron of Variable Destiny vibrate in your pocket. <<link [[Roll your d20 while investigating the stall.]]>><<set $d20 to random(1, 20)>><</link>> <<if $hasESsack is false>>[[Examine the Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack.]] <</if>><<if $hasClosingTome is false>>[[Take a look at the Tome of Closing.]] <</if>><<if $hasWakingScroll is false>>[[Consider the Scroll of Waking.]] <</if>><<if $hasQuantumStone is false>>[[Contemplate the Sparkling Stone of Quantum Entanglement.]] <</if>><<if $hasInvisAmulet is false>>[[Ponder the Amulet of Limited Invisibility.]] <</if>>[[Speak with the money-changer.]] [[Shop for new equipment.]] [[Leave Westerlind!]]<</if>>

You ask the Trader if he's feeling alright today.<<set $alright to true>> "I'm hungry n' ornery, n' no one's bought nuthin'." He grumbles at you. "So, you gonna buy sumtin'?" <<if $cupcakes gte 1>>"[[Have you ever heard of Sunshine Sparkle Cupcakes?]]" <</if>>[[Take a look at the Tome of Closing.]] [[Consider the Scroll of Waking.]] [[Contemplate the Sparkling Stone of Quantum Entanglement.]] [[Ponder the Amulet of Limited Invisibility.]] <<if not hasVisited("Look around for anything else that didn’t immediately stand out.")>>[[Look around for anything else that didn’t immediately stand out.]] <</if>>[[Speak with the money-changer.]] [[Shop for new equipment.]] [[Leave Westerlind!]]

You ask the Trader if he is familiar with Sunshine Sparkle Cupcakes. "O' course, I heard o' those! S'posed to be amazingly delicious. Now I'm even hungrier!" "Wait, d'ya have any ta trade?" <<if $cupcakes gte 1>>"[[As a matter of fact, I do!]]" <</if>>"[[Oh, nope.]]"

<<if $cupcakes is 1>>You confirm that you have a Sunshine Sparkle Cupcake for trade as you pull the lidded plastic container from your fancy satchel.<</if>><<if $cupcakes gte 2>>You confirm that you have <<print $cupcakes>> Sunshine Sparkle Cupcakes for trade as you pull the lidded plastic container from your fancy satchel.<</if>> <<if $cupcakes gte 3>>"Wow, ye got 3 o’ them!? I give ya 6 big ol’ bags o’ gold fer the lot!"<<elseif $cupcakes is 2>>"Oh, ye got two o’ them! I give ya 3 big ol’ bags o’ gold fer them!"<<elseif $cupcakes is 1>>That cupcake smells just righ’! I give ya a big ol’ bag o’ gold fer it!"<</if>> "[[Deal!]]" "[[No deal!|Oh, nope.]]" <<if $cupcakes is 1>>[[Give him the Cupcakes for free.|Give him the Cupcakes for free.]]<</if>><<if $cupcakes gte 2>>[[Give him the Cupcakes for free.]]<</if>>

You decline to trade your Sunshine Sparkle Cupcakes.<<if $cupcakes lte 0>>Mainly because you don't have any.<</if>> "Oh, s'yer just tauntin' me then?", accuses the visibly angry Trader. "Git outta here!"<<set $oandeTraderdone to true>> You walk away from his stall. [[Speak with the money-changer.]] [[Shop for new equipment.]] [[Leave Westerlind!]]

You agree to the very fair offer proposed by the Trader. <<if $cupcakes gte 3>> You hand 3 cupcakes to the Trader and receive 6 big ol’ bags o’ gold in return. You keep your lidded plastic container and fancy satchel, though.<<set $cupcakes to 0>><<set $goldtotal to $goldtotal + 6>><<elseif $cupcakes is 2>> You hand 2 cupcakes to the Trader and receive 3 big ol’ bags o’ gold in return. You keep your lidded plastic container and fancy satchel, though. <<set $cupcakes to 0>><<set $goldtotal to $goldtotal + 3>><<elseif $cupcakes is 1>> You hand your cupcake to the Trader and receive a big ol’ bag o’ gold in return. You keep your lidded plastic container and fancy satchel, though. <<set $cupcakes to 0>><<set $goldtotal to $goldtotal + 1>><</if>> The Trader bites into the cupcake and his demeanor immediately changes. He now seems well pleased!<<set $traderhungry to false>><<if $hasESsack is false>><<set $hasESsack to true>> "Thank you so much, my dear friend! You know what? I would like you to have this!" The Trader hands you a bag. It looks like leather, but feels somewhat like plastic. "That is an Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack! You can put a lot of stuff in there, even if it doesn’t look like it will fit. It will never feel any heavier, either!" You sincerely thank the Trader.<</if>> <<if $hasESsack is false>>[[Examine the Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack.]] <</if>><<if $hasClosingTome is false>>[[Take a look at the Tome of Closing.]] <</if>><<if $hasWakingScroll is false>>[[Consider the Scroll of Waking.]] <</if>><<if $hasQuantumStone is false>>[[Contemplate the Sparkling Stone of Quantum Entanglement.]] <</if>><<if $hasInvisAmulet is false>>[[Ponder the Amulet of Limited Invisibility.]] <</if>><<if $lookhoe is false>>[[Look around for anything else that didn’t immediately stand out.]] <</if>>[[Speak with the money-changer.]] [[Shop for new equipment.]] [[Leave Westerlind!]]

<<set $d20roll to $d20roll + 1>><center><h2>You roll <<print $d20>>!</h2></center> <<if $d20 is 20>><<set $nat20 to $nat20 + 1>>With the razor-sharp eyesight of a hawk, you zero in on a box for a horticultural hand tool tucked away in the corner. The title on the box says "Rake of Disintegration". That sounds incredibly awesome! Next to the box, you see an orange sticker which appears to have been removed from the box. It reads: "Caution! Does not work as intended!" [[Ask to buy the Rake of Disintegration.]] <<elseif $d20 gte 10>> Your keen senses allow you to spot a box for a horticultural hand tool tucked away in the corner. The title on the box says "Rake of Disintegration". That sounds incredibly awesome! [[Ask to buy the Rake of Disintegration.]] <<elseif $d20 gte 2>>You don’t really spot anything that catches your attention. <<elseif $d20 is 1>><<set $nat1 to $nat1 + 1>>Inexplicably, you stare directly at the sun for a good 5 or 6 seconds. Needless to say, you don’t see anything else you want in the stall. <</if>><<if $alright is false>>"[[Are you feeling alright, sir?]]" <</if>><<if $hasESsack is false>>[[Examine the Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack.]] <</if>><<if $hasClosingTome is false>>[[Take a look at the Tome of Closing.]] <</if>><<if $hasWakingScroll is false>>[[Consider the Scroll of Waking.]] <</if>><<if $hasQuantumStone is false>>[[Contemplate the Sparkling Stone of Quantum Entanglement.]] <</if>><<if $hasInvisAmulet is false>>[[Ponder the Amulet of Limited Invisibility.]] <</if>>[[Speak with the money-changer.]] [[Shop for new equipment.]] [[Leave Westerlind!]]

You ask to buy the Rake of Disintegration. <<if $traderhungry is true>> "The wha’ now?", croaks the Hungry Trader. You point to the box in the corner. "Na how d’ye see tha’? Neve’min’. Ye can have it fo’… 2 big ol’ bags o’ gold. Deal?" <<if $goldtotal gte 2>>[[Sounds like a deal!]] [[Perhaps not.]]<</if>>[[I don't have enough big ol’ bags o’ gold to purchase this item.|Perhaps not.]]<</if>><<if $traderhungry is false>> "I’m sorry, what item?" The Trader inquires. You point to the box in the corner. "Oh what excellent powers of perception! I can part with that for... 2 big ol’ bags o’ gold. How does that sound?" <<if $goldtotal gte 2>>[[Sounds like a deal!]] <</if>>[[Perhaps not.]]<</if>>

You agree to purchase the Rake of Disintegration for the Trader’s asking price!<<set $goldtotal to $goldtotal - 2>><<set $hasRake to true>><<pickup '$inventory' unique '[[Rake of Disintegration]]'>> <<if $traderhungry is true>> You hold out 2 big ol’ bags o’ gold to the Trader. He grabs it from you and shoves the box for the Rake of Disintegration into your hands. He mumbles a quick "thanks".<<if $hasESsack is true>> You place it in your Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack.<</if>><<if $hasESsack is false>> The Hungry Trader throws a bag to you as well. Neat! A free Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack! You place the Rake of Disintegration into it.<<set $hasESsack to true>><</if>> <<if $alright is false>>"[[Are you feeling alright, sir?]]" <</if>><<if $hasClosingTome is false>>[[Take a look at the Tome of Closing.]] <</if>><<if $hasWakingScroll is false>>[[Consider the Scroll of Waking.]] <</if>><<if $hasQuantumStone is false>>[[Contemplate the Sparkling Stone of Quantum Entanglement.]] <</if>><<if $hasInvisAmulet is false>>[[Ponder the Amulet of Limited Invisibility.]] <</if>>[[Speak with the money-changer.]] [[Shop for new equipment.]] [[Leave Westerlind!]]<</if>><<if $traderhungry is false>> The Trader gently hands you the box for the Rake of Disintegration and then accepts your 2 big ol’ bags o’ gold.<<if $hasESsack is true>> You place it in your Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack.<</if>><<if $hasESsack is false>> The Hungry Trader throws a bag to you as well. Neat! A free Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack! You place the Rake of Disintegration into it.<<set $hasESsack to true>><</if>> <<if $hasClosingTome is false>>[[Take a look at the Tome of Closing.]] <</if>><<if $hasWakingScroll is false>>[[Consider the Scroll of Waking.]] <</if>><<if $hasQuantumStone is false>>[[Contemplate the Sparkling Stone of Quantum Entanglement.]] <</if>><<if $hasInvisAmulet is false>>[[Ponder the Amulet of Limited Invisibility.]] <</if>>[[Speak with the money-changer.]] [[Shop for new equipment.]] [[Leave Westerlind!]]<</if>>

You decide against buying the Rake of Disintegration. <<if $traderhungry is true>> He snaps at you, "Suit yerself." <<if $goldtotal gte 2>> [[Actually, I changed my mind and I’ll purchase the Rake!|Sounds like a deal!]] <</if>><<if $alright is false>>"[[Are you feeling alright, sir?]]" <</if>><<if $hasESsack is false>>[[Examine the Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack.]] <</if>><<if $hasClosingTome is false>>[[Take a look at the Tome of Closing.]] <</if>><<if $hasWakingScroll is false>>[[Consider the Scroll of Waking.]] <</if>><<if $hasQuantumStone is false>>[[Contemplate the Sparkling Stone of Quantum Entanglement.]] <</if>><<if $hasInvisAmulet is false>>[[Ponder the Amulet of Limited Invisibility.]] <</if>>[[Speak with the money-changer.]] [[Shop for new equipment.]] [[Leave Westerlind!]]<</if>><<if $traderhungry is false>> "Of course, of course! Perhaps something else?" <<if $goldtotal gte 2>> [[Actually, I changed my mind and I’ll purchase the Rake!|Sounds like a deal!]] <</if>><<if $alright is false>>"[[Are you feeling alright, sir?]]" <</if>><<if $hasESsack is false>>[[Examine the Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack.]] <</if>><<if $hasClosingTome is false>>[[Take a look at the Tome of Closing.]] <</if>><<if $hasWakingScroll is false>>[[Consider the Scroll of Waking.]] <</if>><<if $hasQuantumStone is false>>[[Contemplate the Sparkling Stone of Quantum Entanglement.]] <</if>><<if $hasInvisAmulet is false>>[[Ponder the Amulet of Limited Invisibility.]] <</if>>[[Speak with the money-changer.]] [[Shop for new equipment.]] [[Leave Westerlind!]]<</if>>

You hand him the Sunshine Sparkle Cupcake<<if $cupcakes gte 2>>s<</if>> for free. He looks at you in stunned silence, with sincere gratitude in his eyes. He whispers "Thank you" before ravenously digging into the food.<<set $cupcakecharity to true>><<if $hasESsack is false>>Once he finishes eating, he says, "Thank you so much, my dear friend! You know what? I would like you to have this!" The Trader hands you a bag. It looks like leather, but feels somewhat like plastic.<<set $hasESsack to true>> "That is an Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack! You can put a lot of stuff in there, even if it doesn’t look like it will fit. It will never feel any heavier, either!" <<set $cupcakes to 0>> You sincerely thank the Trader <<if $hasFancySatchel is true>>and you leave behind your Fancy Satchel.<</if>><<set $hasFancySatchel to false>>.<</if>><<set $traderhungry to false>> <<if $hasESsack is false>>[[Examine the Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack.]] <</if>><<if $hasClosingTome is false>>[[Take a look at the Tome of Closing.]] <</if>><<if $hasWakingScroll is false>>[[Consider the Scroll of Waking.]] <</if>><<if $hasQuantumStone is false>>[[Contemplate the Sparkling Stone of Quantum Entanglement.]] <</if>><<if $hasInvisAmulet is false>>[[Ponder the Amulet of Limited Invisibility.]] <</if>><<if $lookhoe is false>>[[Look around for anything else that didn’t immediately stand out.]] <</if>>[[Speak with the money-changer.]] [[Shop for new equipment.]] [[Leave Westerlind!]]

You agree to purchase the Tome of Closing for the trader’s asking price!<<set $goldtotal to $goldtotal - 1>><<set $hasClosingTome to true>><<pickup '$inventory' unique '[[Tome of Closing]]'>> <<if $traderhungry is true>> You hold out 1 big ol’ bag o’ gold to the trader. He grabs it from you and places the Tome of Closing in front of you. He mumbles a quick "thanks". <<if $hasESsack is false>> You should probably purchase a bag to hold your items in case you want to buy anything else.<</if>><<if $hasESsack is true>>You place it in your Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack.<</if>> <<if $alright is false>>"[[Are you feeling alright, sir?]]" <</if>><<if $hasESsack is false>>[[Examine the Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack.]] <</if>><<if $hasWakingScroll is false>>[[Consider the Scroll of Waking.]] <</if>><<if $hasQuantumStone is false>>[[Contemplate the Sparkling Stone of Quantum Entanglement.]] <</if>><<if $hasInvisAmulet is false>>[[Ponder the Amulet of Limited Invisibility.]] <</if>>[[Speak with the money-changer.]] [[Shop for new equipment.]] [[Leave Westerlind!]]<</if>><<if $traderhungry is false>><<pickup '$inventory' unique '[[Tome of Closing]]'>> The trader gladly hands you the Tome of Closing and accepts your big ol’ bag o’ gold. "Thank you!" <<if $hasESsack is false>>You should probably purchase a bag to hold your items in case you want to buy anything else.<</if>><<if $hasESsack is true>>You place it in your Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack.<</if>> <<if $hasESsack is false>>[[Examine the Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack.]] <</if>><<if $hasWakingScroll is false>>[[Consider the Scroll of Waking.]] <</if>><<if $hasQuantumStone is false>>[[Contemplate the Sparkling Stone of Quantum Entanglement.]] <</if>><<if $hasInvisAmulet is false>>[[Ponder the Amulet of Limited Invisibility.]] <</if>>[[Speak with the money-changer.]] [[Shop for new equipment.]] [[Leave Westerlind!]]<</if>>

You agree to purchase the Amulet of Limited Invisibility for the trader’s asking price!<<set $goldtotal to $goldtotal - 1>><<set $hasInvisAmulet to true>><<pickup '$inventory' unique '[[Amulet of Limited Invisibility]]'>> <<if $traderhungry is true>> You hold out 1 big ol’ bag o’ gold to the trader. He snatches it from you and places the Amulet of Limited Invisibility in your hand. He mumbles a quick "thanks". <<if $hasESsack is false>> You should probably purchase a bag to hold your items in case you want to buy anything else.<</if>><<if $hasESsack is true>>You place it in your Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack.<</if>> <<if $alright is false>>"[[Are you feeling alright, sir?]]" <</if>><<if $hasESsack is false>>[[Examine the Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack.]] <</if>><<if $hasClosingTome is false>>[[Take a look at the Tome of Closing.]] <</if>><<if $hasWakingScroll is false>>[[Consider the Scroll of Waking.]] <</if>><<if $hasQuantumStone is false>>[[Contemplate the Sparkling Stone of Quantum Entanglement.]] <</if>>[[Speak with the money-changer.]] [[Shop for new equipment.]] [[Leave Westerlind!]]<</if>><<if $traderhungry is false>> The trader graciously gives you the Amulet of Limited Invisibility and accepts your big ol’ bag o’ gold. "Thank you, so much!" <<if $hasESsack is false>>You should probably purchase a bag to hold your items in case you want to buy anything else.<</if>><<if $hasESsack is true>>You place it in your Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack.<</if>> <<if $hasESsack is false>>[[Examine the Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack.]] <</if>><<if $hasClosingTome is false>> [[Take a look at the Tome of Closing.]] <</if>><<if $hasWakingScroll is false>>[[Consider the Scroll of Waking.]] <</if>><<if $hasQuantumStone is false>>[[Contemplate the Sparkling Stone of Quantum Entanglement.]] <</if>>[[Speak with the money-changer.]] [[Shop for new equipment.]] [[Leave Westerlind!]]<</if>>

You agree to purchase the Scroll of Waking for the trader’s asking price!<<set $goldtotal to $goldtotal - 1>><<set $hasWakingScroll to true>> <<if $traderhungry is true>><<pickup '$inventory' unique '[[Scroll of Waking]]'>> You give 1 big ol’ bag o’ gold to the trader. He takes it from you and places the Scroll of Waking on the counter in front of you. He mumbles a quick "thanks".<<if $hasESsack is false>> You should probably purchase a bag to hold your items in case you want to buy anything else.<</if>><<if $hasESsack is true>> You place it in your Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack.<</if>> <<if $alright is false>>"[[Are you feeling alright, sir?]]" <</if>><<if $hasESsack is false>>[[Examine the Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack.]] <</if>><<if $hasClosingTome is false>>[[Take a look at the Tome of Closing.]] <</if>><<if $hasQuantumStone is false>>[[Contemplate the Sparkling Stone of Quantum Entanglement.]] <</if>><<if $hasInvisAmulet is false>>[[Ponder the Amulet of Limited Invisibility.]] <</if>>[[Speak with the money-changer.]] [[Shop for new equipment.]] [[Leave Westerlind!]]<</if>><<if $traderhungry is false>><<pickup '$inventory' unique '[[Scroll of Waking]]'>> The trader exchanges the Scroll of Waking for your big ol’ bag o’ gold. "Thanks very much!"<<if $hasESsack is false>> You should probably purchase a bag to hold your items in case you want to buy anything else.<</if>><<if $hasESsack is true>> You place it in your Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack.<</if>> <<if $hasESsack is false>>[[Examine the Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack.]] <</if>><<if $hasClosingTome is false>> [[Take a look at the Tome of Closing.]] <</if>><<if $hasQuantumStone is false>>[[Contemplate the Sparkling Stone of Quantum Entanglement.]] <</if>><<if $hasInvisAmulet is false>>[[Ponder the Amulet of Limited Invisibility.]] <</if>>[[Speak with the money-changer.]] [[Shop for new equipment.]] [[Leave Westerlind!]]<</if>>

No Return = <<set $noreturn to visitedTags("noreturn")>> $noreturn [[Untitled Passage 1]]

No Return = <<set $noreturn to visitedTags("noreturn")>> $noreturn [[Untitled Passage 2]]

No Return = <<set $noreturn to visitedTags("noreturn")>> $noreturn [[Untitled Passage 3]]

ITEMS ITEMS ITEMS No Return = <<set $noreturn to visitedTags("noreturn")>> $noreturn [[Return|$return]]

You examine the "Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack." <<if $traderhungry is true>> The Hungry Trader says, "Give me 1 big ol’ bag o’ gold fer it." <<if $goldtotal lte 0>>You do not have enough big ol’ bags o’ gold to purchase this item. <</if>> <<if $goldtotal gte 1>>[[Purchase the Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack!]] <</if>> <<if $alright is false>>"[[Are you feeling alright, sir?]]" <</if>>[[Steal the Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack!|Steal Westerlind]] <<if $hasClosingTome is false>>[[Take a look at the Tome of Closing.]] <</if>><<if $hasWakingScroll is false>>[[Consider the Scroll of Waking.]] <</if>><<if $hasQuantumStone is false>>[[Contemplate the Sparkling Stone of Quantum Entanglement.]] <</if>><<if $hasInvisAmulet is false>>[[Ponder the Amulet of Limited Invisibility.]] <</if>>[[Speak with the money-changer.]] [[Shop for new equipment.]] [[Leave Westerlind!]]<</if>><<if $traderhungry is false>> The Trader looks ecstatic, "The Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack is one of the absolute best purchases you can ever make! You can stuff as much as you like in that bag and it will //probably// never burst or become heavier. I can let you have it for 1 big ol’ bag o’ gold!" <<if $goldtotal lte 0>>You do not have enough big ol’ bags o’ gold to purchase this item. <</if>> <<if $goldtotal gte 1>>[[Purchase the Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack!]] <</if>>[[Steal the Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack!|Steal Westerlind]] <<if $hasClosingTome is false>>[[Take a look at the Tome of Closing.]] <</if>><<if $hasWakingScroll is false>>[[Consider the Scroll of Waking.]] <</if>><<if $hasQuantumStone is false>>[[Contemplate the Sparkling Stone of Quantum Entanglement.]] <</if>><<if $hasInvisAmulet is false>>[[Ponder the Amulet of Limited Invisibility.]] <</if>>[[Speak with the money-changer.]] [[Shop for new equipment.]] [[Leave Westerlind!]] <</if>>

You agree to purchase the Sparkling Stone of Quantum Entanglement for the trader’s asking price!<<set $goldtotal to $goldtotal - 2>><<set $hasQuantumStone to true>><<pickup '$inventory' unique '[[Sparkling Stone of Quantum Entanglement]]'>> <<if $traderhungry is true>> You give 2 big ol’ bags o’ gold to the trader. He takes it from you and places the Sparkling Stone of Quantum Entanglement on the counter in front of you. He mumbles a quick "thanks".<<if $hasESsack is false>> You should probably purchase a bag to hold your items in case you want to buy anything else.<</if>><<if $hasESsack is true>> You place it in your Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack.<</if>> <<if $alright is false>>"[[Are you feeling alright, sir?]]" <</if>><<if $hasESsack is false>>[[Examine the Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack.]] <</if>><<if $hasClosingTome is false>>[[Take a look at the Tome of Closing.]] <</if>><<if $hasWakingScroll is false>>[[Consider the Scroll of Waking.]] <</if>><<if $hasInvisAmulet is false>>[[Ponder the Amulet of Limited Invisibility.]] <</if>>[[Speak with the money-changer.]] [[Shop for new equipment.]] [[Leave Westerlind!]]<</if>><<if $traderhungry is false>> The trader places the Sparkling Stone of Quantum Entanglement in your hands and collects your 2 big ol’ bags o’ gold. "Thanks very much!"<<if $hasESsack is false>> You should probably purchase a bag to hold your items in case you want to buy anything else.<</if>><<if $hasESsack is true>> You place it in your Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack.<</if>> <<if $hasESsack is false>>[[Examine the Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack.]] <</if>><<if $hasClosingTome is false>> [[Take a look at the Tome of Closing.]] <</if>><<if $hasWakingScroll is false>>[[Consider the Scroll of Waking.]] <</if>><<if $hasInvisAmulet is false>>[[Ponder the Amulet of Limited Invisibility.]] <</if>>[[Speak with the money-changer.]] [[Shop for new equipment.]] [[Leave Westerlind!]]<</if>>

You agree to purchase the Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack for the trader’s asking price!<<set $goldtotal to $goldtotal - 1>><<set $hasESsack to true>><<pickup '$inventory' unique '[[Scroll of Waking]]'>> <<if $traderhungry is true>> You toss 1 big ol’ bag o’ gold to the trader. He catches it and chucks the Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack in front of you. He whispers a quick "thank you". <<if $hasFancySatchel is true>>You leave behind your Fancy Satchel.<</if>><<set $hasFancySatchel to false>> <<if $alright is false>>"[[Are you feeling alright, sir?]]" <</if>><<if $hasESsack is false>>[[Examine the Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack.]] <</if>><<if $hasWakingScroll is false>>[[Consider the Scroll of Waking.]] <</if>><<if $hasQuantumStone is false>>[[Contemplate the Sparkling Stone of Quantum Entanglement.]] <</if>><<if $hasInvisAmulet is false>>[[Ponder the Amulet of Limited Invisibility.]] <</if>>[[Speak with the money-changer.]] [[Shop for new equipment.]] [[Leave Westerlind!]]<</if>><<if $traderhungry is false>> The trader gleefully hands you Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack and accepts your big ol’ bag o’ gold. "Thank you!" <<if $hasFancySatchel is true>>You leave behind your Fancy Satchel.<</if>><<set $hasFancySatchel to false>> <<if $hasESsack is false>>[[Examine the Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack.]] <</if>><<if $hasWakingScroll is false>>[[Consider the Scroll of Waking.]] <</if>><<if $hasQuantumStone is false>>[[Contemplate the Sparkling Stone of Quantum Entanglement.]] <</if>><<if $hasInvisAmulet is false>>[[Ponder the Amulet of Limited Invisibility.]] <</if>>[[Speak with the money-changer.]] [[Shop for new equipment.]] [[Leave Westerlind!]]<</if>>

You command your Golem to lay the smackdown on the guards. Two of the guards turn to look at you, however, upon uttering your command, the Golem’s eyes burn sapphire and it stands up to it's full 50-foot height. The frightened guards attempt to run away but the Golem’s lightning fast reflexes and huge reach prove to be too much for the puny guards. Within 15 seconds, the bodies of all 35 guards are in varying states of disrepair, completely devoid of life. <<set $westerlinddeadguards to true>> Perhaps that was a bit excessive. You get the feeling that you should leave relatively quickly. [[Request that your Golem lifts you up to its shoulder!]] [[Whistle for your golem to come to you and pick you up!]] [[Realize you still want to shop and go back into Westerlind.|Explore the village.]]

You command the Golem to lift you up to its shoulder! <<if $westerlinddeadguards is false>>Some of the guards turn to look at you, however, u<</if>><<if $westerlinddeadguards is true>>U<</if>>pon uttering your command, the Golem’s eyes burn sapphire and it stands up to it's full 50-foot height. <<if $westerlinddeadguards is false>>It scans the crowd and finds you standing a short distance behind the frightened guards. <</if>>The Golem deftly extends it's massive hand,<<if $westerlinddeadguards is false>> avoiding the militia, and<</if>> providing a platform for you to climb upon. You are lifted up to the shoulder of the Tremor Golem<<if $westerlinddeadguards is true>>.<</if>><<if $westerlinddeadguards is false>>, and the guards are mostly unharmed.<</if>> [[Command your Golem to walk through Westerlind Village!|Command your Golem to take you into Westerlind Village.]] [[Rejoin the path to Purfani.|Chart a course straight through to Purfani!]]

You whistle for the Golem to lift you up to its shoulder! Some of the guards turn to look at you, however, upon uttering your command, the Golem’s eyes burn sapphire and it stands up to it's full 50-foot height. It scans the crowd and finds you standing a short distance behind the frightened guards. The Golem walks to you, crushing several militia members under its gargantuan feet. The unsquashed militia stab violently at the Golem's legs as it lowers a hand to you. You quickly climb up the hand and are lifted to the shoulder of the Golem while obscenities are shouted at you from below. Instinctually, the Golem takes a few adjusting steps while righting itself, and stomps on a number of the formerly suviving guards.<<set $westerlinddeadguards to true>> Oops. [[Command your Golem to walk through Westerlind Village!|Command your Golem to take you into Westerlind Village.]] [[Rejoin the path to Purfani.|Chart a course straight through to Purfani!]]

Village where the bandits came from!

A Wild Gazebo

You offer a Sunshine Sparkle Cupcake to the equipment vendor. "Ah! Thankee, but no thankee. Y’see I had a large breffast! <<if $traderhungry is true>>I tell ya what though. I reckon the odds n’ends dealer is in a right cranky state on account of he’s hungry. Mayhaps ya offer him one?<</if>>" <<if $swordtype isnot "Obsidian Steel Scimitar">>[[Give the Obsidian Steel Scimitar a few test swings!]] <</if>><<if $bowtype isnot "Perfect Pierce Longbow">>[[Examine the Perfect Pierce Longbow!]] <</if>><<if $shieldtype isnot "Kite Shield of the Sun Champion">>[[Consider the Kite Shield of the Sun Champion!]] <</if>>[[Speak with the money-changer.]] [[Peruse the odds-and-ends Trader’s wares.]] [[Leave Westerlind!]]

<<if visitedTags("equippickup") is 1>>You pick up the Obsidian Steel Scimitar and give it a few test swings. “Now, I dun mean t’be rude, but do folks where ye come from normly pick up things that dun belong t’ them? Tha’s nigh here nor there, anyhap.”<</if>><<if visitedTags("equippickup") is 2>>You think about picking up the Obsidian Steel Scimitar, but decide to look at it with your eyes instead of your hands. “Thanks fer not gettin' yer fingerprints on it!”<</if>><<if visitedTags("equippickup") gte 3>>You inspect the Obsidian Steel Scimitar from a respectable distance.<</if>> ”Tha’ sword’s an alloy of steel and vulcan’ glass. Defly’ a step up from them rusty blades tha’ bandits favor. Gotta be careful wit them, 'lest ye want tetanus!” “Fer 3 big ol’ bags o’ gold, ye can take it with ye and swing it all ye want!<<if visitedTags("equippickup") is 1>> Elsewise, maybe ye put it back down!<</if>>" <<if $goldtotal gte 3>>[[Purchase the Obsidian Steel Scimitar!]] <</if>><<if $goldtotal lt 3>>You do not have enough big ol’ bags o’ gold to purchase this item. <</if>><<if $goldtotal is 2>><<if $hasSword is true and $swordtype is "Sword of Tetanus">>[[Ask to Trade 2 Big Ol’ Bags O’ Gold and the Sword of Tetanus for it!]] <</if>><</if>>[[Attempt to steal the Obsidian Steel Scimitar!|Steal Westerlind]] <<if not hasVisited("Would you like a Sunshine Sparkle Cupcake?")>><<if $cupcakes gte 1>>[[“Would you like a Sunshine Sparkle Cupcake?”|Would you like a Sunshine Sparkle Cupcake?]] <</if>><</if>><<if $bowtype isnot "Perfect Pierce Longbow">>[[Examine the Perfect Pierce Longbow!]] <</if>><<if $shieldtype isnot "Kite Shield of the Sun Champion">>[[Consider the Kite Shield of the Sun Champion!]] <</if>>[[Speak with the money-changer.]] [[Peruse the odds-and-ends Trader’s wares.]] [[Leave Westerlind!]]

<<if visitedTags("equippickup") is 1>>You pick up the Perfect Pierce Longbow and pluck the bowstring a few times. “Now, I dun mean t’be rude, but do folks where ye come from normly pick up things that dun belong t’ them? Tha’s nigh here nor there, anyhap.”<</if>><<if visitedTags("equippickup") is 2>>You think about picking up the Perfect Pierce Longbow, but decide to look at it with your eyes instead of your hands. “Thanks fer not gettin' yer fingerprints on it!”<</if>><<if visitedTags("equippickup") gte 3>>You inspect the Perfect Pierce Longbow from a respectable distance.<</if>> “Tha’ bow’s a beaut’! Made o’ Ivorywood inlaid with Conjure Ore. It’s strung wit hair from the mane o’ the Higgs Bison! I tell ya, ye’ll ne’er hafta wonder ‘bout the durbilty of this’ere bow!” “Fer 3 big ol’ bags o’ gold, ye can consider it yers!<<if visitedTags("equippickup") is 1>> Elsewise, maybe ye put it back down!<</if>>” <<if $goldtotal gte 3>>[[Purchase the Perfect Pierce Longbow!]] <</if>><<if $goldtotal lt 3>>You do not have enough big ol’ bags o’ gold to purchase this item. <</if>><<if $goldtotal is 2>><<if $hasBow is true and $bowtype is "Bow of Questionable Durability">>[[Ask to Trade 2 Big Ol’ Bags O’ Gold and the Bow of Questionable Durability for it!]]<</if>><</if>>[[Attempt to steal the Perfect Pierce Longbow!|Steal Westerlind]] <<if not hasVisited("Would you like a Sunshine Sparkle Cupcake?")>><<if $cupcakes gte 1>>[[“Would you like a Sunshine Sparkle Cupcake?”|Would you like a Sunshine Sparkle Cupcake?]] <</if>><</if>><<if $swordtype isnot "Obsidian Steel Scimitar">>[[Give the Obsidian Steel Scimitar a few test swings!]] <</if>><<if $shieldtype isnot "Kite Shield of the Sun Champion">>[[Consider the Kite Shield of the Sun Champion!]] <</if>>[[Speak with the money-changer.]] [[Peruse the odds-and-ends Trader’s wares.]] [[Leave Westerlind!]]

<<if visitedTags("equippickup") is 1>>You pick up the Kite Shield of the Sun Champion and appreciate the fine metalwork and filigree. “Now, I dun mean t’be rude, but do folks where ye come from normly pick up things that dun belong t’ them? Tha’s nigh here nor there, anyhap. ”<</if>><<if visitedTags("equippickup") is 2>>You think about picking up the Kite Shield of the Sun Champion, but decide to look at it with your eyes instead of your hands. “Thanks fer not gettin' yer fingerprints on it! ”<</if>><<if visitedTags("equippickup") gte 3>>You consider the Kite Shield of the Sun Champion from a respectable distance.<</if>> “Picked up tha’ one from a ‘venturer hard on ‘is luck. Dint know the treasure ‘e ‘ad! If yer in the market fer port’ble pertection wit some style t’boot, ye’ll find no better! ” “Willin’ t’part wit it fer 3 big ol’ bags o’ gold. No less.<<if visitedTags("equippickup") is 1>> Elsewise, maybe ye put it back down!<</if>>” <<if $goldtotal gte 3>>[[Purchase the Kite Shield of the Sun Champion!]] <</if>><<if $goldtotal lt 3>>You do not have enough big ol’ bags o’ gold to purchase this item. <</if>>[[Attempt to steal the Kite Shield of the Sun Champion!|Steal Westerlind]] <<if not hasVisited("Would you like a Sunshine Sparkle Cupcake?")>><<if $cupcakes gte 1>>[[“Would you like a Sunshine Sparkle Cupcake?”|Would you like a Sunshine Sparkle Cupcake?]] <</if>><</if>><<if $swordtype isnot "Obsidian Steel Scimitar">>[[Give the Obsidian Steel Scimitar a few test swings!]] <</if>><<if $bowtype isnot "Perfect Pierce Longbow">>[[Examine the Perfect Pierce Longbow!]] <</if>>[[Speak with the money-changer.]] [[Peruse the odds-and-ends Trader’s wares.]] [[Leave Westerlind!]]

You agree to pay 3 Big Ol’ Bags o’ Gold for the Obsidian Steel Scimitar.<<pickup '$equipmentInv' unique '[[Obsidian Steel Scimitar]]'>><<drop '$equipmentInv' unique '[[Sword of Tetanus]]'>> The charming equipment vendor smiles at you in the most unsettling way. "Thankee kindly!" He hands you the Obsidian Steel Scimitar in exchange for 3 Big Ol’ Bags o’ Gold. You strap the sword to your belt. <<if $swordtype is "Sword of Tetanus">>You leave behind your Sword of Tetanus.<</if>><<set $hasSword to true>><<set $swordtype to "Obsidian Steel Scimitar">><<set $goldtotal to $goldtotal - 3>> <<if not hasVisited("Would you like a Sunshine Sparkle Cupcake?")>><<if $cupcakes gte 1>>"[[Would you like a Sunshine Sparkle Cupcake?]]" <</if>><</if>><<if $bowtype isnot "Perfect Pierce Longbow">>[[Examine the Perfect Pierce Longbow!]] <</if>><<if $shieldtype isnot "Kite Shield of the Sun Champion">>[[Consider the Kite Shield of the Sun Champion!]] <</if>> [[Speak with the money-changer.]] [[Peruse the odds-and-ends Trader’s wares.]] [[Leave Westerlind!]]

You offer to trade your Sword of Tetanus and 2 Big Ol’ Bags o’ Gold for the Obsidian Steel Scimitar.<<pickup '$equipmentInv' unique '[[Obsidian Steel Scimitar]]'>><<drop '$equipmentInv' unique '[[Sword of Tetanus]]'>> The charming equipment vendor thoughtfully considers your offer. "Hmm. Ye’ got yerself a deal!" He hands you the Obsidian Steel Scimitar in exchange for your Sword of Tetanus and 2 Big Ol’ Bags o’ Gold. You fasten the sword to your belt. <<set $hasSword to true>><<set $swordtype to "Obsidian Steel Scimitar">><<set $goldtotal to $goldtotal - 2>> <<if not hasVisited("Would you like a Sunshine Sparkle Cupcake?")>><<if $cupcakes gte 1>>"[[Would you like a Sunshine Sparkle Cupcake?]]" <</if>><</if>><<if $bowtype isnot "Perfect Pierce Longbow">>[[Examine the Perfect Pierce Longbow!]] <</if>><<if $shieldtype isnot "Kite Shield of the Sun Champion">>[[Consider the Kite Shield of the Sun Champion!]] <</if>> [[Speak with the money-changer.]] [[Peruse the odds-and-ends Trader’s wares.]] [[Leave Westerlind!]]

<<set $stealattempt to $stealattempt + 1>><<set $previouspassage to previous()>> <<if $previouspassage is "Examine the Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack.">>You attempt to steal the Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack.<<set $stealnumber to random(1,20)>> <<if $stealnumber gte 13>>You manage to swipe the Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack from stall without the Trader noticing! You’re not sure if you should be proud of yourself or ashamed. <<set $stolenitems to $stolenitems + 1>><<set $hasESsack to true>> [[Continue perusing the odds-and-ends Trader’s wares.|Peruse the odds-and-ends Trader’s wares.]] <<elseif $stealnumber lte 12>>You grab the Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack from the stall and hide it on your person. Unfortunately, the Trader and a nearby contingent of the village guard all turned to look at you at that exact moment. You learn that stealing is heavily frowned upon and punished in Westerlind as the guards spear you to death. <<set $guarddeath to $guarddeath + 1>> [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?|$return]]<</if>><</if>><<if $previouspassage is "Take a look at the Tome of Closing.">>You attempt to steal the Tome of Closing.<<set $stealnumber to random(1,20)>> <<if $stealnumber gte 14>>You shove the Tome of Closing into your Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack. The Trader did not seem to notice! You’re not sure if you should be proud of yourself or ashamed. <<set $hasClosingTome to true>><<set $stolenitems to $stolenitems + 1>><<pickup '$inventory' unique '[[Tome of Closing]]'>> [[Continue perusing the odds-and-ends Trader’s wares.|Peruse the odds-and-ends Trader’s wares.]] <<elseif $stealnumber lte 13>>You grab the Tome of Closing from the stall and shove it into your Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack. You feel a tap on your shoulder and turn around in time to see the Trader shoving a dagger through your eye. The village guards nod with approval as you fall lifeless to the ground. <<set $guarddeath to $guarddeath + 1>> [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?|$return]]<</if>><</if>><<if $previouspassage is "Ponder the Amulet of Limited Invisibility.">>You attempt to steal the Amulet of Limited Invisibility.<<set $stealnumber to random(1,20)>> <<if $stealnumber gte 14>>You palm the Amulet of Limited Invisibility and silently drop it into your Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack. Luckily, no one seems to have seen! You’re not sure if you should be proud of yourself or ashamed. <<set $hasInvisAmulet to true>><<set $stolenitems to $stolenitems + 1>><<pickup '$inventory' unique '[[Amulet of Limited Invisibility]]'>> [[Continue perusing the odds-and-ends Trader’s wares.|Peruse the odds-and-ends Trader’s wares.]] <<elseif $stealnumber lte 13>>You palm the Amulet of Limited Invisibility and move to drop it into your Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack. The Trader appears to have spotted you, however, as he calls for the village Guards. Their policy of "shoot first; ask questions later" results in you being filled with arrows. Ouch.<<set $guarddeath to $guarddeath + 1>> [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?|$return]]<</if>><</if>><<if $previouspassage is "Consider the Scroll of Waking.">>You attempt to steal the Scroll of Waking.<<set $stealnumber to random(1,20)>> <<if $stealnumber gte 14>>You lift the Scroll of Waking and plop it into your Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack in one smooth motion. Better still, no one caught you! You’re not sure if you should be proud of yourself or ashamed. <<set $hasWakingScroll to true>><<set $stolenitems to $stolenitems + 1>><<pickup '$inventory' unique '[[Scroll of Waking]]'>> [[Continue perusing the odds-and-ends Trader’s wares.|Peruse the odds-and-ends Trader’s wares.]] <<elseif $stealnumber lte 13>>You lift the Scroll of Waking and attempt to silently shove it into your Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack. Unfortunately, you were not even remotely silent. The Trader, as well as the Captain of the village guard, both saw you steal the Scroll. A sadistic smile creeps across the Captain’s face as he deftly plunks you in the temple with a crossbow bolt.<<set $guarddeath to $guarddeath + 1>> [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?|$return]]<</if>><</if>><<if $previouspassage is "Contemplate the Sparkling Stone of Quantum Entanglement.">>You attempt to steal the Sparkling Stone of Quantum Entanglement.<<set $stealnumber to random(1,20)>> <<if $stealnumber gte 15>>You pilfer the Sparkling Stone of Quantum Entanglement and tuck it away in your Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack. This Trader clearly has terrible perception. <<set $hasQuantumStone to true>><<set $stolenitems to $stolenitems + 1>><<pickup '$inventory' unique '[[Sparkling Stone of Quantum Entanglement]]'>> [[Continue perusing the odds-and-ends Trader’s wares.|Peruse the odds-and-ends Trader’s wares.]] <<elseif $stealnumber lte 14>>You pilfer the Sparkling Stone of Quantum Entanglement and attempt to quietly tuck it into your Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack. Unfortunately, you set off the "wailing" trap spell on the stone, alerting everyone in the area of your intent. A spiked cudgel collides with the back of your skull before you can see who swung it.<<set $guarddeath to $guarddeath + 1>> [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?|$return]]<</if>><</if>><<if $previouspassage is "Examine the Perfect Pierce Longbow!">>You attempt to steal the Perfect Pierce Longbow.<<set $stealnumber to random(1,20)>> <<if $stealnumber gte 16>>You miraculously pilfer the Perfect Pierce Longbow and strap it to your shoulder<<if $bowtype is "Bow of Questionable Durability">>, then toss out your Bow of Questionable Durability<</if>>. How the Equipment Vendor didn’t notice this is a mystery to all. Good job?<<set $hasBow to true>><<set $bowtype to "Perfect Pierce Longbow">><<set $stolenitems to $stolenitems + 1>><<pickup '$equipmentInv' unique '[[Perfect Pierce Longbow]]'>><<drop '$equipmentInv' '[[Bow of Questionable Durability]]'>> [[Shop for new equipment.]] <<elseif $stealnumber lte 15>>You clumsily grab the Perfect Pierce Longbow and strap it to your shoulder in full view of the Equipment Vendor. He raises his eyebrow quizzically as he impales you with a sword.<<set $NPCdeath to $NPCdeath + 1>> [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?|$return]]<</if>><</if>><<if $previouspassage is "Give the Obsidian Steel Scimitar a few test swings!">>You attempt to steal the Obsidian Steel Scimitar.<<set $stealnumber to random(1,20)>> <<if $stealnumber gte 16>>In a brilliant stroke of luck, you abduct the Obsidian Steel Scimitar and strap it to your belt just as the Equipment Vendor looks away. The Equipment Vendor must be completely oblivious<<if $swordtype is "Sword of Tetanus">> as you toss away you Sword of Tetanus<</if>>. Nicely done?<<set $hasSword to true>><<set $swordtype to "Obsidian Steel Scimitar">><<set $stolenitems to $stolenitems + 1>><<pickup '$equipmentInv' unique '[[Obsidian Steel Scimitar]]'>><<drop '$equipmentInv' '[[Sword of Tetanus]]'>> [[Shop for new equipment.]] <<elseif $stealnumber lte 15>>You reach for the Obsidian Steel Scimitar in a swift motion and knock over half of the items on the counter in the process. The Equipment Vendor asks, "Have you ever seen a weapon like this in your travels?" as he shoots you between the eye with his hand crossbow. <<set $NPCdeath to $NPCdeath + 1>> [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?|$return]]<</if>><</if>><<if $previouspassage is "Consider the Kite Shield of the Sun Champion!">>You attempt to steal the Kite Shield of the Sun Champion.<<set $stealnumber to random(1,20)>> <<if $stealnumber gte 16>>In a way that you can’t possibly begin to explain, you filch the Kite Shield of the Sun Champion and fasten it to your back. There is no way that the Equipment Vendor could have missed this, yet he says nothing. How…?<<set $hasShield to true>><<set $shieldtype to "Kite Shield of the Sun Champion">><<set $stolenitems to $stolenitems + 1>><<pickup '$equipmentInv' unique '[[Kite Shield of the Sun Champion]]'>> [[Shop for new equipment.]] <<elseif $stealnumber lte 15>>In the most obvious attempt at thievery ever, you attempt to filch the Kite Shield of the Sun Champion. During the entire ill-conceived attempted burglary, the Equipment Vendor never takes his eyes off you. He also slits your throat with a very sharp knife. <<set $NPCdeath to $NPCdeath + 1>> [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?|$return]]<</if>><</if>>

You agree to pay 3 Big Ol’ Bags o’ Gold for the Perfect Pierce Longbow.<<pickup '$equipmentInv' unique '[[Perfect Pierce Longbow]]'>><<drop '$equipmentInv' '[[Bow of Questionable Durability]]'>> The charming equipment vendor whistles through missing teeth. "Big spender, eh?! Thankee fer the bizness!" He hands you the Perfect Pierce Longbow and matching quiver in exchange for 3 Big Ol’ Bags o’ Gold. You strap the bow over your shoulder and the quiver to your belt. <<if $bowtype is "Bow of Questionable Durability">>You leave behind your Bow of Questionable Durability.<</if>> <<set $hasBow to true>><<set $bowtype to "Perfect Pierce Longbow">><<set $goldtotal to $goldtotal - 3>> <<if not hasVisited("Would you like a Sunshine Sparkle Cupcake?")>><<if $cupcakes gte 1>>"[[Would you like a Sunshine Sparkle Cupcake?]]" <</if>><</if>><<if $swordtype isnot "Obsidian Steel Scimitar">>[[Give the Obsidian Steel Scimitar a few test swings!]] <</if>><<if $shieldtype isnot "Kite Shield of the Sun Champion">>[[Consider the Kite Shield of the Sun Champion!]] <</if>> [[Speak with the money-changer.]] [[Peruse the odds-and-ends Trader’s wares.]] [[Leave Westerlind!]]

You offer to trade your Bow of Questionable Durability and 2 Big Ol’ Bags o’ Gold for the Perfect Pierce Longbow.<<pickup '$equipmentInv' unique '[[Perfect Pierce Longbow]]'>><<drop '$equipmentInv' '[[Bow of Questionable Durability]]'>> The charming equipment vendor thoughtfully considers your offer. "Hmm. Ye’ got yerself a deal!" He hands you the Perfect Pierce Longbow and matching quiver in exchange for your Bow of Questionable Durability and 2 Big Ol’ Bags o’ Gold. You strap the bow to your back and the quiver to your belt. <<set $hasBow to true>><<set $bowtype to "Perfect Pierce Longbow">><<set $goldtotal to $goldtotal - 2>> <<if not hasVisited("Would you like a Sunshine Sparkle Cupcake?")>><<if $cupcakes gte 1>>"[[Would you like a Sunshine Sparkle Cupcake?]]" <</if>><</if>><<if $swordtype isnot "Obsidian Steel Scimitar">>[[Give the Obsidian Steel Scimitar a few test swings!]] <</if>><<if $shieldtype isnot "Kite Shield of the Sun Champion">>[[Consider the Kite Shield of the Sun Champion!]] <</if>> [[Speak with the money-changer.]] [[Peruse the odds-and-ends Trader’s wares.]] [[Leave Westerlind!]]

You agree to pay 3 Big Ol’ Bags o’ Gold for the Kite Shield of the Sun Champion.<<pickup '$equipmentInv' unique '[[Kite Shield of the Sun Champion]]'>> The charming equipment vendor whistles as he nods at you. "Thankee very much!" He hands you the Kite Shield of the Sun Champion in exchange for 3 Big Ol’ Bags o’ Gold. You fasten the shield to your back. <<set $hasShield to true>><<set $shieldtype to "Kite Shield of the Sun Champion">><<set $goldtotal to $goldtotal - 3>> <<if not hasVisited("Would you like a Sunshine Sparkle Cupcake?")>><<if $cupcakes gte 1>>"[[Would you like a Sunshine Sparkle Cupcake?]]" <</if>><</if>><<if $swordtype isnot "Obsidian Steel Scimitar">>[[Give the Obsidian Steel Scimitar a few test swings!]] <</if>><<if $bowtype isnot "Perfect Pierce Longbow">>[[Examine the Perfect Pierce Longbow!]] <</if>>[[Speak with the money-changer.]] [[Peruse the odds-and-ends Trader’s wares.]] [[Leave Westerlind!]]

You attack the guards with your <<print $bowtype>>! <<if $bowtype is "Bow of Questionable Durability">>You did not count on these guards being well trained. You managed to catch one of them off guard with your attack, but your bow's durability is no longer questionable as it snaps in half! Without a weapon, you are quickly cut down.<<set $guarddeath to $guarddeath + 1>> [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?|previous()]]<</if>><<if $bowtype is "Perfect Pierce Longbow">>The guards are well trained, but you have an incredible bow! The Perfect Pierce Longbow fires off arrows as fast as you can nock them, and they fly with perfect accuracy, each one finding its mark! When the dust settles, you are left standing among an alarming number of bodies. <<set $westerlinddeadguards to true>> <<if $golemgood is true>>[[Request that your Golem lifts you up to its shoulder!]] <</if>>[[Rejoin the path to Purfani.|Chart a course straight through to Purfani!]]<</if>>

You attack the guards with your bare fists! However, you did not count on these guards being well trained. You managed to catch one of them off guard with your attack, but you are quickly cut down.<<set $guarddeath to $guarddeath + 1>> [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?|previous()]]

You eat some of the oatmeal. It tastes awful. Not because it's turned to glue, but moreso because it is "original" flavor. <<if not hasVisited("Move the bowl of oatmeal.")>>[[Move the bowl of oatmeal.]] <</if>><<if $foundredbutton is true>><<if $redbutton is false>>[[Press the red button.]] <</if>><</if>> [[Read the note.->Read Note 2]] [[Investigate the two-way mirror.]] [[Investigate the tattered pile of clothes.]] [[Walk through the half-open door into a tunnel.]] [[Return to the dead campfire.]]

You attempt to convince the Bandit King that you were planning to give him your Big Ol' Bag o' Gold. The Bandit King approaches you with murder in his eyes. His expression softens to a smile as he accepts the Big Ol' Bag o' Gold and he says: "You've done right by us friend! Pity there wasn't more gold here, but the excitement was enough for me. Regardless, you indeed may leave, and we won't even shoot you in the back!" You feel relieved. "Oh, and one more thing. If you should ever need anything at all, you should probably keep that to yourself and not bother me with it, or I will likely stab you in the throat." You walk off, secure in the knowledge that you have made a new friend! Sort of.<<set $banditfriend to true>><<set $hasGold to false>> [[Calmly leave the tunnels.]]

Double-click this passage to edit it.

<<set $totaldeath to $msdeath + $gatedeath + $deathbytroll + $banditdeath + $APdeath + $LSdeath + $golemdeath + $envirodeath + $NPCdeath + $guarddeath + $DMdeath + $DVdeath + $newtdeath + $sleepdeath>><<if $exhaustion is 0>><<set $exhaustiontext to "Fresh">><<set $delirious to false>><</if>><<if $exhaustion is 1>><<set $exhaustiontext to "Awake">><<set $delirious to false>><</if>><<if $exhaustion is 2>><<set $exhaustiontext to "Flagging">><<set $delirious to false>><</if>><<if $exhaustion is 3>><<set $exhaustiontext to "Fatigued">><<set $delirious to false>><</if>><<if $exhaustion is 4>><<set $exhaustiontext to "Exhausted">><<set $delirious to false>><</if>><<if $exhaustion is 5>><<set $exhaustiontext to "DELIRIOUS">><<set $delirious to true>><</if>> Energy Level: <<link[[$exhaustiontext|Energy Description]]>><</link>> Total Deaths: <<link[[$totaldeath|Death Descriptor]]>><</link>>

You trade 1 Lil' Ol' Pouch o' Platinum for 10 Big Ol' Bags o' Gold. <<set $goldtotal to $goldtotal + 10>><<set $platinumtotal to $platinumtotal - 1>> Would you like to make any other trades? <<if $goldtotal lte 9>> "Thanks, very much. I don't need anything else at this time." <</if>><<if $goldtotal gte 10>>[[Trade 10 Big Ol' Bags o' Gold for 1 Lil' Ol' Pouch o' Platinum]]<</if>><<if $platinumtotal gte 1>>[[Trade 1 Lil' Ol' Pouch O' Platinum for 10 Big Ol' Bags o' Gold]]<</if>> [[Peruse the odds-and-ends Trader’s wares.]] [[Shop for new equipment.]] [[Leave Westerlind!]]

<<set $myTimer to Date.now()>><<set $msTimer to Date.now() - $myTimer>> <<set _display to setup.playTime.formatTime(setup.playTime.getTimeArray(Date.now() - $myTimer))>> [[Next]]

<<set _display to setup.playTime.formatTime(setup.playTime.getTimeArray(Date.now() - $myTimer))>> Elapsed: @@#display;0@@s

<<if $golemgood is true>>Your Golem picks you up off it's shoulder and sets you down on the path. <</if>>You take a closer look at the droppings on the path. Upon closer inspection, they appear to be human droppings. [[Gross. Step around them and continue on.|Continue on toward Purfani.]] [[Investigate the human droppings.]]

You more closely investigate the human droppings. You find a large ball of lint, several nickles and pennies, a candy wrapper, and a hoodie for a band you don't like. The hoodie is also several sizes too small. [[Continue on toward Purfani.]] [[Take the hoodie anyway.]]

You continue along the path to Purfani for quite some time. You crest the rim of a hill<<if $golemgood is true>> aboard your Golem transport<</if>> and look across at a glorious city surrounding an enormous shard of Conjure Ore. The purple-and-green mineral juts out of the ground haphazardly, suggesting that it fell from space in time immemorial. The setting sun frames the scene in radiant light against a pastel sky. It's a truly breathtaking scene. Or perhaps your breath was taken by the arduous climb up this hill. Regardless, that Conjure Ore conglomeration is undoubtly the Arcane Sanctum of Lord Aether that Davricle the Majestic mentioned.<<if $golemgood is false>><<if visited("Continue on toward Purfani.") lte 1>><<set $exhaustion to $exhaustion + 1>><</if>><</if>> [[Approach the outskirts of Purfani.]]

You pick up the hoodie and investigate it before stuffing it away. You probably could have fit into it when you were younger, but, ugh, why would you want to? One glance at the band name screen-printed on the front and suddenly one of their worst and most popular songs gets stuck in your head. Great. <<if $golemgood is true>>You command your Golem to put you back on its shoulder and continue toward Purfani.<</if>><<set $hasHoodie to true>><<pickup '$inventory' unique '[[Awful Band Hoodie]]'>> [[Continue on toward Purfani.]]

You fall down the shaft and miraculously avoid hitting the spikes jutting out from the ground. However, you see the remains of plenty of others who were unfortunately not as lucky as you. If there's a reason you're still alive, while everyone around you has died, are you willing to wait for it? [[Wait for it!]] [[Wait for it!]] [[Wait for it!]] [[Wait for it!]] [[Think to yourself, 'I am the one thing in life I can control!' and attempt to climb out.]]

Double-click this passage to edit it.

Musical references everywhere. Sound of music.

[[Inventory]] <<if $relationships is true>>[[Relationships]]<</if>>

You currently have <<if $platinumtotal gte 1>><<print $platinumtotal>> Lil ol' Pouch<<if $platinumtotal gt 1>>es<</if>> o' Platinum, and <</if>><<print $goldtotal>> Big ol' Bag<<if $goldtotal gt 1 or $goldtotal lt 1>>s<</if>> o' Gold. [[Check Your Equipment|Check Equipment]] <<if $hasESsack is false and $hasFancySatchel is true>>[[Check Your Fancy Satchel for Items|Check Items]]<</if>><<if $hasESsack is false and $hasFancySatchel is false>>[[Check Your Pockets for Items|Check Items]]<</if>><<if $hasESsack is true>>[[Check Your Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack for Items|Check Items]]<</if>> [[Return to your adventure!|$return]]

You check your person for equipment and find the following: <<inventory '$equipmentInv'>> [[Go back to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]] [[Return to your adventure!|$return]]

You check your <<if $hasESsack is true>>Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack for items. It is most definitely bigger on the inside.<</if>><<if $hasESsack is false>><<if $hasFancySatchel is false>>pockets for items.<</if>><<if $hasFancySatchel is true>>fancy satchel for items. It is most certainly not larger on the inside.<</if>><</if>> You find the following: <<inventory '$inventory'>> [[Go back to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]] [[Return to your adventure!|$return]]

The Bow of Questionable Durability is a bow whose durability is quite questionable. It comes with a quiver and arrows as well. These seem more durable. [[Check other equipment pieces.|Check Equipment]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]

You exmaine the Sword of Tetanus. It's a rust-caked sword whose better days have seen better days. The ever-present threat of tetanus looms large for both yourself and your enemies. [[Poke yourself with the Sword of Tetanus.]] [[Check other equipment pieces.|Check Equipment]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]

You examine the Strange key. It's a key. It's really not very strange. [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]

A silver medallion given to you by the Toll Troll. In incredibly elegant handcarving it reads: "4 my onlee frand". It unfortunately smells like "Original" flavor oatmeal. [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]

You currently have $cupcakes Sunshine Sparkle Cupcake<<if $cupcakes gte 2>>s<</if>>. These cupcakes smell absolutely heavenly and are difficult to resist eating. They're probably going to get squished without something solid to carry them in. What a shame, these are supposedly valuable and delicious! [[Eat a Cupcake.]] [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]

<<if $cupcakes gte 1>>You currently have $cupcakes Sunshine Sparkle Cupcake<<if $cupcakes gte 2>>s<</if>> sitting in your container. These cupcakes smell absolutely heavenly and are difficult to resist eating. They're sitting comfortably and are unlikely to get squished. Lucky for you, since these are supposedly valuable and delicious!<</if>><<if $cupcakes lte 0>>You find some abandoned sprinkles in the container, but not much else.<</if>> <<if $cupcakes gte 1>>[[Eat a Cupcake.|Eat a Cupcake2]]<</if>> [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]

A twenty-sided metal object with a number on each face. It feels well-weighted on each side, and, often, it falls out of your pocket and rolls itself. <<set $d20 to random(1, 20)>><<set $d20roll to $d20roll + 1>><center><h2>You roll <<print $d20>>!</h2></center> <<if $d20 is 20>><<set $nat20 to $nat20 + 1>>A natural twenty! Nice!<<if $d20gold is false>> You also find a Big Ol' Bag o' Gold randomly at your feet! You quickly pick it up and tie it to your belt. It makes your pants sag a little.<<set $d20gold to true>><<set $goldtotal to $goldtotal + 1>><</if>> <<elseif $d20 gte 2>> <<elseif $d20 is 1>><<set $nat1 to $nat1 + 1>>Awful luck. Natural 1's are rarely fun. <</if>> [[Roll again?->Icosahedron of Variable Destiny]] [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]

A leather canteen found on the side of a river. It's empty. [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]

A leather canteen found on the side of a river. It's filled with water from the Nonbibemus River. [[Take a big drink.]] [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]

The Scroll of Waking is a length of vellum with several runes scrawled all over it. It looks completely Greek to you: <h2>Είναι ξυπνητήρι. Αυτός ο κύλινδρος είναι βασικά απλά ένα περίπλοκο ξυπνητήρι.</h2> <<if $scrollactive is true>>The runes have been pulsing in a bluish-purple color ever since you activated it. [[Throw away the Scroll]] <<if $alarmtriggered is true>>[[Set the blasted thing on fire!]]<</if>><</if>><<if $scrollactive is false>>Inexplicably, you are able to suss out the meaning. Using this scroll will prevent you from being put to sleep! [[Activate the Scroll!]]<</if>> [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]

<<if visitedTags("flipswitch") lte 0>>You stare at your Amulet of Limited Invisibility, unsure of how to make it work. It opens up to reveal a small compartment you can probably fit something in, if you try hard enough. After several moments of contemplation, you find a small switch you can flip on the side of the amulet.<</if>><<if visitedTags("flipswitch") gte 1>>You examine your Amulet of Limited Invisibility. Having extensively explored this item earlier, you quickly move your finger to the small switch on the side of the Amulet.<</if>> [[Flip the Amulet's switch.]] [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]

You examine your Sparkling Stone of Quantum Entanglement, and can't make much sense of how to work it. Maybe it only activates when you're in the right superposition? [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]

The Tome of Closing is a leather-bound book covered in arcane runes. The name of the book is written clearly in lettering that you, for some reason, can read: <center>"THE TOME OF CLOSING"</center> <center>by</center> <center>N. Otajar </center> A ribbon bookmark denotes the last read page. You are curious what exactly this book can do. [[Open the book.]] [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]

<<if $rakeashes is false>>You take the Rake of Disintigration out of it's box. It seems...entirely unimpressive. An instruction manual falls out of the box. The manual advises you to think very hard about disintegration in order to activate it. [[Hold it out and think hard about disintegration!]] [[Set it down and think hard about disintegration!]]<</if>><<if $rakeashes is true>>You open the Rake of Disintegration's box. The ashes that used to be the Rake of Disintegration are inside alongside an instruction manual. The manual advises you to think very hard about disintegration in order to activate it. <<if $needglasses is false>>In fine print it mentions that, for best results, you should be raking leaves and/or weeds at the time.<</if>><</if>> [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]

You examine the Kite Shield of the Sun Champion. A marbling of gold and platinum cover this elegant shield, but it maintains the durability of steel and the light weight of titanium. The heraldry depicts a disapproving sun on the face of the shield and lovely filigree around the rest of it. Carved into an inner leather strap you see: "Property of Helias." However, "Helias" has been mostly scratched out, and replaced with "Franklin". [[Scratch out "Franklin" and carve your own name in.]] [[Check other equipment pieces.|Check Equipment]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]`

You examine your Perfect Pierce Longbow. It's a strikingly gorgeous weapon made of Ivorywood inlaid with Conjure Ore. The bowstring is hair from the mane of the Higgs Bison, whatever that is. The durability of this bow will never be called into question. [[Check other equipment pieces.|Check Equipment]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]

You examine the Obsidian Steel Scimitar. It's a hauntingly beautiful silvery-black color sword made from volcanic glass folded into high-quality steel. It's so sharp that you question how it doesn't slice through its own scabbard. You imagine that there should be no way that you'll contract tetanus from this blade, but there is only one way to find out... [[Poke yourself with the Obsidian Steel Scimitar.]] [[Check other equipment pieces.|Check Equipment]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]

A fist-sized sapphire with the runes "X, Y, Z, Z, Y" freely swimming around inside of it. Strange. While holding this gem and speaking a command, you are able to successfully control the Tremor Golem. You're quite sure that absolutely nothing can go wrong with that. [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]

<<set $cupcakes to $cupcakes - 1>><<set $eatencupcakes to $eatencupcakes + 1>>You eat a cupcake. It just may be one of the best things you have ever put in your mouth. <<if $cupcakes is 0>><<if $cupcaketray is 0>>You feel ill. Too much sugar, perhaps?<<drop '$inventory' '[[Sunshine Sparkle Cupcake]]'>><</if>><</if>> [[Eat another Cupcake.|Eat a Cupcake.]] [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]

<<set $cupcakes to $cupcakes - 1>><<set $eatencupcakes to $eatencupcakes + 1>>You eat a cupcake from your Lidded Plastic Container. It just may be one of the best things you have ever put in your mouth. <<if $cupcakes is 0>><<if $cupcaketray is 0>>You feel ill. Too much sugar, perhaps?<<drop '$inventory' '[[Sunshine Sparkle Cupcake]]'>><</if>><</if>> [[Eat another Cupcake.|Eat a Cupcake2]] [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]

<<if hasVisited("'The Arcane Sanctum at Purfani'?")>>You think back to what Davricle told you about the Arcane Sanctum at Purfani to the North... "Ahhhh, Purfani. I've not been there for many years now." Davricle points due North. "That direction, just a ways past the trading village of Westerlind, you will find the city of Purfani. However, the city itself is quite boring. If you are looking for adventure while you're there, you should try the Arcance Sanctum, for which it is named, at the city's center." He proceeds, "You really won't be able to miss it. It's the largest structure, formed purely from Conjure Ore." You stare blankly at the DM. The DM answers the unasked question, "Ah, yes. We here in Discord refer to magic stones as 'Conjure Ore'." <<if hasVisited("Why not just call them 'magic stones', then?")>>[[What was it he said when I asked about Conjure Ore...?]]<</if>> [[Look at other locations on the Map.|Map of the Dimension of Discord]] [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]<</if>> <<if not hasVisited("'The Arcane Sanctum at Purfani'?")>>You've never asked Davricle about The Arcane Sanctum at Purfani. [[Look at other locations on the Map.|Map of the Dimension of Discord]] [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]<</if>>

<<if hasVisited("'The Cavernous Depths of Docura'?")>>You think back to what Davricle told you about The Cavernous Depths of Docura to the Northwest... "Davricle nods while pointing Northwest. "The name does no justice for the location, I’m afraid. Some say that the Caverns of Docura tunnel all the way to the center of the planet. Poppycock, I say. That’s preposterous. However, I cannot deny that those tunnels are indeed extraordinarily deep. And should you survive the spelunking, you’ll have to deal with the Lizard King, Docu! [[Look at other locations on the Map.|Map of the Dimension of Discord]] [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]<</if>> <<if not hasVisited("'The Cavernous Depths of Docura'?")>>You've never asked Davricle about The Cavernous Depths of Docura. [[Look at other locations on the Map.|Map of the Dimension of Discord]] [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]<</if>>

<<if hasVisited("'Zulinia's Bottomless Chasm'?")>>You think back to what Davricle told you about The Cavernous Depths of Docura to the Northwest... "Zulinia’s Bottomless Chasm can be found Northeast of here. If you were to ask a local, they’d tell you that the Chasm is so named due to all the residents forsaking the use of pants. While a humorous thought, and potentially true ages ago, that is simply not the case now. There are no longer any humanoid inhabitants of the bottomless chasm as Empress Zulinia betrayed and facilitated the slaughter of her own people centuries ago. She entered into an accord with the gargantuan Spicewurms living under her former settlement; she would allow them to eat the Spice-rich soil of her settlement, and the wurms would use their Spice-based magic to keep her hale and hearty, indefinitely." "Since the time of that deal, the Spicewurms have done such a good job in that time of eroding away the earth, that Discord locals have taken to calling the now-quite-deep chasm "bottomless". It would be quite an adventure for you to find out if the rumors are true!" [[Look at other locations on the Map.|Map of the Dimension of Discord]] [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]<</if>> <<if not hasVisited("'Zulinia's Bottomless Chasm'?")>>You've never asked Davricle about Zulinia's Bottomless Chasm. [[Look at other locations on the Map.|Map of the Dimension of Discord]] [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]<</if>>

<<if hasVisited("'The Observatory of the Heavens'?")>>You think back to what Davricle told you about The Observatory of the Heavens to the East... Turning due East, Davricle motions toward a very tall tower. "The Observatory of the Heavens, names both for its location and subject of observation. The pinnacle of the tower is the highest climbable point in all of Discord. Should you make it to the top, you’ll find a looking glass providing an unparalleled vision of the stars. "However, you will have to deal with the current residents, Helias and her brother, Selenos. Believing that no one else should be allowed as high in the sky, they killed the previous scientific staff, claiming the Observatory as their own. If you plan on trudging to the top, I suggest you bring plenty of water. Staying hydrated is important!" [[Look at other locations on the Map.|Map of the Dimension of Discord]] [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]<</if>> <<if not hasVisited("'The Observatory of the Heavens'?")>>You've never asked Davricle about The Observatory of the Heavens. [[Look at other locations on the Map.|Map of the Dimension of Discord]] [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]<</if>>

<<if hasVisited("'Pillory Point'?")>>You think back to what Davricle told you about Pillory Point to the West... Davricle tilts his head to the West. In the distance you can see a rock formation similar to a compact cassette tape. "Rumor has it that giants used that strange stone structure as a punishment for their misbehaving sistren and brethren. However, if you want my opinion, and clearly, you do, I am unconvinced. Humanoids of unusual size? I don’t think they exist." Regardless, the past purpose of that mineral monument matters not. Should you venture forth and visit the place, you’ll find it infested with Trolls. Exciting! [[Look at other locations on the Map.|Map of the Dimension of Discord]] [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]<</if>> <<if not hasVisited("'Pillory Point'?")>>You've never asked Davricle about Pillory Point. [[Look at other locations on the Map.|Map of the Dimension of Discord]] [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]<</if>>

<<if hasVisited("'The Sands of Time'?")>>You think back to what Davricle told you about The Sands of Time to the South... Davricle very nearly giggles at the name. "I hear the entire area is quicksand! Get it? …No? Everyone’s a critic." Davricle faces due South, back toward the direction of the cave you emerged from. "The Sands of Times is the name given to a ridiculously large hourglass, half-buried in the Desert of Thirst. It’s certainly one of the stranger oddities to arrive in Discord, and one that I have very little experience with. I’d tell you to enter at your own peril, but I feel like that would just spur you on." Probably. [[Look at other locations on the Map.|Map of the Dimension of Discord]] [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]<</if>> <<if not hasVisited("'The Sands of Time'?")>>You've never asked Davricle about The Sands of Time. [[Look at other locations on the Map.|Map of the Dimension of Discord]] [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]<</if>>

<<if hasVisited("'Deluge, The Submerged Shrine'?")>>You think back to what Davricle told you about Deluge, The Submerged Shrine to the Southeast... Davricle ponders the name. "Ah, yes. Deluge. If you spy that body of water to the Southeast, you’ll see the location of the Submerged Shrine. Of course, you can’t see the shrine itself, as I mentioned, it is submerged. "The lake has not always been there. In fact, that entire area was a barren basin. The folks living there built Deluge in an effort to appease a higher power, in hopes of increasing rainfall to water their crops and make their home livable. Be careful what you wish for, I always say! The flooding came swiftly and suddenly, washing away the inhabitants and their makeshift homes. "Now something else lives in those parts, residing in the shrine itself, sunken underneath all of that water. Isn’t that neat?" [[Look at other locations on the Map.|Map of the Dimension of Discord]] [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]<</if>> <<if not hasVisited("'Deluge, The Submerged Shrine'?")>>You've never asked Davricle about Deluge, The Submerged Shrine. [[Look at other locations on the Map.|Map of the Dimension of Discord]] [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]<</if>>

<<if hasVisited("It's not on the map, but what is that place?")>>You think back to what Davricle told you about Reality's Vestibule... Davricle wears an expression of disbelief. "You can see the Incongrous Confluence?! Simply amazing. Few have a mind that can comprehend looking at it! However, that is neither here, nor there. What you are looking at is, by my estimate, the source of the discord in Discord. The bending of realities happens //there//, to twist the fabric of our world //here//. "It's is a lot to take in, I know. Suffice to say, you need not worry about it now, but if, during your adventuring, you find a way to breach Reality's Vestibule, perhaps you can confront the Incongruous Confluence face-to-face, so to speak." Fascinating, and migraine-inducing... [[Look at other locations on the Map.|Map of the Dimension of Discord]] [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]<</if>> <<if not hasVisited("It's not on the map, but what is that place?")>>You've never asked Davricle about Reality's Vestibule. [[Look at other locations on the Map.|Map of the Dimension of Discord]] [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]<</if>>

You recall that you asked Davricle the Magnificent why not just call "Conjure Ore" by the obvious name, "Magic Stones"? "Why don't you mind your own business?!" The DM snapped back. Fair enough. [[Look at other locations on the Map.|Map of the Dimension of Discord]] [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]

<<set $amputate to true>><<set $envirodeath to $envirodeath + 1>>You just barely poke yourself with the Obsidian Steel Scimitar, and easily slice your arm clean off. You blink several times, confused, before the pain sets in. However, the pain passes quickly as you rapidly bleed out. [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?->previous()]]

<<if visitedTags("opentome") lte 1>>You open the Tome of Closing. You flip through a few pages, but as soon as you begin reading, the book slams shut on your fingers! Getting your fingers smashed by an intelligent book really smarts! The Tome seems to have increased slightly in size. [[Open the book again.|Open the book.]] [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]<</if>><<if visitedTags("opentome") is 2>>You open the Tome of Closing again. You peruse a few pages near the bookmark, but the book slams shut again! This time you were able to get your fingers away fast enough! The Tome seems to have increased a bit more in size. [[Open the book again.|Open the book.]] [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]<</if>><<if visitedTags("opentome") is 3>>You open the Tome of Closing again. You barely get the book open before it slams shut! You swear you can hear a rumbling sound! The Tome seems to have increased more in size. [[Open the book again.|Open the book.]] [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]<</if>><<if visitedTags("opentome") is 4>>You open the Tome of Closing again. Before you get a chance to open it fully, the book grows tremendously in size! It opens up and swiftly snaps shut over your entire body. You struggle and struggle, but you can't get free of it! Eventually you suffocate and the Tome digests your body, and then shrinks back to its normal book size. <<set $envirodeath to $envirodeath + 1>><<set $tomedeath to true>> [[YOU HAVE DIED. Turn back time?->Check Items]]<</if>>

You somehow read the runes, despite not knowing what they are. <<set $scrollactive to true>> Nothing happens. You read the runes again, but with a deeper, louder voice, while waving your hand wildly. The scroll floats up, glows yellow, then purple, then rolls itself back up and settles back down to your hand. You roll it up and put it away, convinced that it is now working. [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]

You flip the switch on the side of the Amulet. <<if visitedTags("flipswitch") lte 1>> The Amulet of Limited Invisibility turns invisible immediately. Startled, you drop it. Uh oh, you've got no idea where it is now...<<drop '$inventory' '[[Amulet of Limited Invisibility]]'>> [[Search for the Amulet.]]<</if>><<if visitedTags("flipswitch") gte 2>> Learning from your previous mistake, you clutch tightly to the Amulet to make sure you don't drop and lose it. You flip the switch in each direction and it changes from visible to invisible, then visible again. [[Put on the Amulet, then flip the switch.]]<</if>> [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]

You place the Amulet's chain around your neck and flip the switch. The Amulet of Limited Invisibility turns invisible immediately. You, however, remain visible. Huh. "Limited" invisibility indeed. [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]

You search for the Amulet of Limited Invisibility. <<pickup '$inventory' unique '[[Amulet of Limited Invisibility]]'>> It takes you nearly 20 minutes to find it on the ground. You flip the switch in the opposite direction and it becomes visible again. Maybe you should try putting it on before flipping the switch? [[Put on the Amulet, then flip the switch.]] [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]

You hold out the Rake and concentrate on the idea of disintegration. True to it's namesake, the Rake disintegrates...you. You fall to the ground in a pile of ashes. Perhaps you should have specified a target? <<set $envirodeath to $envirodeath +1>> [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?->previous()]]

You set the Rake down and focus on the idea of disintegration. True to it's namesake, the Rake disintegrates...itself. It collapses to the ground in a pile of ashes. Perhaps you should have specified a target? <<if $needglasses is false>>Rechecking the manual you see the following in fine print: "For best results, you should be raking leaves and/or weeds while thinking about disintegration".<</if>> Regardless, you scoop up the ashes and place them in the Rake's box. <<set $rakeashes to true>> [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]

You take a healthy chug from the Canteen.<<set $canteenfull to false>><<set $canteenempty to true>><<drop '$inventory' unique '[[Full Canteen]]'>><<pickup '$inventory' '[[Empty Canteen]]'>> It tastes delicious! However, you immediately start burning up with fever and suffer excruciating abdominal pain. You enter a state of delirium, but in a singular moment of clarity, you realize you should not have drunk the water from the Nonbibemus River. <<if $hasDysenteryMeds is true>><<if $pillGone is false>>You remember that you have Experimental Dysentery Medication! This may be your last chance!<</if>> <<link [[Swallow the Pill!|Takedrink2]]>><<set $pillGone to true>><</link>> [[Try to beat it naturally.|Takedrink2]]<<else>>You then collapse to the ground and lay silent.<<set $envirodeath to $envirodeath + 1>><<set $dysentery to 0>> [[YOU HAVE DIED OF RAPID-ONSET DYSENTERY! Turn back time?|Full Canteen]]<</if>>

You scratch out "Franklin" (whomever that is) and carve your own name into the strap. The words are a little bit crowded, and it's not your best penmanship, but it makes the shield feel much more like your property. You wonder why that Franklin bloke would pawn a shield as amazing as this. [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]

You take out the hoodie and investigate it. You probably could have fit into it when you were younger, but, ugh, why would you want to? One glance at the band name screen-printed on the front and suddenly one of their worst and most popular songs gets stuck in your head. Great. Annoyed, you stuff it away. [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]

You approach the outskirts of Purfani and are surprised to find the gates unmanned, and swung open. There do not appear to be many people around at all, perhaps due to the unseasonable chill in the air and creeping fog looming through the streets. Entering into the city you find that the buildings and streets have fallen into disrepair. Some alleyways contain small congregations of homeless individuals huddled around fires that do not appear to burn as brightly as they should. There is an odd feeling in the air and you feel a wave of depression wash over you. <<if $golemgood is true>>Your Golem stops just outside the city and refuses to move any further. It let's you down to walk on your own.<</if>> [[Shop at the marketplace.]] [[Speak with the homeless congregation.]] <<if $exhaustion gte 2>> [[Find a place to sleep.]] <</if>>[[Go straight to the Arcane Sanctum.]]

You decide to shop at the marketplace. Unfortunately, there isn't one. [[Speak with the homeless congregation.]]<<if $exhaustion gte 2>> [[Find a place to sleep.]] <</if>> [[Go straight to the Arcane Sanctum.]]

You seek out a gathering of homeless folks in one of the alleyways. You find a group of these unlucky individuals gathered around a fire set in a small metal brazier. The flames are not reaching up as high as you assume they should. The destitute group eyes you warily. One of their number is huddled up against a wall. Her lips are chapped and she looks quite parched. <<if $parchedwoman is true>>[[Approach the parched woman.]] <</if>><<if $scrollactive is true>><<if $alarmtriggered is true>>[[Throw the Scroll of Waking into the fire!]] <</if>><</if>><<if not hasVisited("Ask the congregation about Purfani.")>>[[Ask the congregation about Purfani.]] <</if>><<if $exhaustion gte 2>>[[Ask the congregation for a place to sleep.]] <</if>><<if not hasVisited ("Shop at the marketplace.")>>[[Shop at the marketplace.]] <</if>><<if $exhaustion gte 2>>[[Find another place to sleep.->Find a place to sleep.]] <</if>>[[Go straight to the Arcane Sanctum.]]

You scan the city for a place to sleep. You find a sign hanging off the side of a building indicating that this building had been an inn. Unfortunately, it's now broken down and empty. [[Look inside the rundown inn.]] <<if not hasVisited ("Shop at the marketplace.")>>[[Shop at the marketplace.]] <</if>>[[Speak with the homeless congregation.]] [[Go straight to the Arcane Sanctum.]]

You head further into the city, straight toward the enormous purplish crystal structure known as the Arcane Sanctum of Lord Aether. You stop just outside of the Sanctum, and look straight up. The enormous crystalline edifice seems to reach all the way up and touch the sky. If you stare much longer, you're likely to get vertigo! [[Approach the entrance to the Arcane Sanctum.]] [[Continue staring.]] [[Go back to what you were doing.|previous()]]

You walk through the warped threshold into the rundown inn. The foyer is empty, as observed from outside. There is a door behind the front desk and a stairway leading to a second level. [[Check out the door behind the front desk.]] [[Search upstairs.]] <<if not hasVisited ("Shop at the marketplace.")>>[[Shop at the marketplace.]] <</if>>[[Speak with the homeless congregation.]] [[Go straight to the Arcane Sanctum.]]

You check the door behind the front desk. It's unlocked and opens easily. The room behind contains an emptied out lockbox and the remains of a lunch that has long since given way to a mold colony. Not much else is here. [[Search upstairs.]] <<if not hasVisited ("Shop at the marketplace.")>>[[Shop at the marketplace.]] <</if>>[[Speak with the homeless congregation.]] [[Go straight to the Arcane Sanctum.]]

You search the upstairs of the forlorn inn. Every stair on the way up creeks annoyingly. The landing leads to 3 rooms. [[Check the left room.]] [[Search the middle room.]] [[Investigate the right room.]] [[Go back downstairs.|Look inside the rundown inn.]]

You check the left room. The door opens easily and gives way to a relatively empty room. It's made all the more empty by the sinkhole in the center of the room. Part of a bed has fallen into it. Glancing down the hole you see a rather empty storeroom. The only things that seem to in the storeroom are rubble and wood from the collapsed floor, and part of the aforementioned bed. [[Search the middle room.]] [[Investigate the right room.]] [[Go back downstairs.|Look inside the rundown inn.]]

You search the middle room. The space is empty aside from a comically large chest sitting in the middle of the room. The chest appears to be sitting in a viscous sticky substance. <<if not hasVisited("Keep opening the lid!")>>There is a note attached to the lid of the chest.<</if>><<if hasVisited("Keep opening the lid!")>>Having already opened the chest (rudely, one might say), you know that there is nothing within, aside from your own shame."<</if>> <<if not hasVisited("Keep opening the lid!")>>[[Read the note.|Read note 3]] <</if>>[[Check the left room.]] [[Investigate the right room.]] [[Go back downstairs.|Look inside the rundown inn.]]

You investigate the right room. There is a bed up against the wall. It looks mighty comfortable! <<if $hasd20 is true>> You feel a vibration in your <<if $hasESsack is true>>Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack.<</if>><<if $hasESsack is false>><<if $hasFancySatchel is false>>pocket.<</if>><<if $hasFancySatchel is true>>fancy satchel.<</if>><</if>><</if>> <<if $newtdead is true>>There is a corpse of a Chaotic Newt in the center of the room.<<if $skinnednewt is true>> You've skinned it.<</if>><</if>> <<if $inndice is false>><<if $hasd20 is true>>[[Pull out the vibrating object.]]>><<set $d20 to random(1, 20)>><</link>> <</if>><</if>><<if $exhaustion gte 2>>[[Sleep in the bed!]] <</if>>[[Check the left room.]] <<if not hasVisited("Keep opening the lid!")>>[[Search the middle room.]] <</if>>[[Go back downstairs.|Look inside the rundown inn.]]

You read the note on the chest. In strangely familiar writing it states: <center>"DO NOT OPEN THIS CHEST! PLEASE DO NOT IGNORE THIS NOTE!"</center> [[Open the chest, obviously.]] [[Check the left room.]] [[Investigate the right room.]] [[Go back downstairs.|Look inside the rundown inn.]]

You obviously open the chest. Obviously. As you lift the lid you get a sharp feeling of dread. You hesitate...Should you really be doing this? [[Keep opening the lid!]] [[Check the left room.]] [[Investigate the right room.]] [[Go back downstairs.|Look inside the rundown inn.]]

You throw open the lid! Nothing is inside the chest. Except for another note: <center>"I politely asked you not to open the chest and you did so anyway. Hopefully you can see how incredibly rude that is? I recommend having a sit down and thinking about what kind of person you really want to be." - Franklin</center> Hmmm. Perhaps this "Franklin" has a point. [[Check the left room.]] [[Investigate the right room.]] [[Sit down and think about the kind of person you want to be.]] [[Go back downstairs.|Look inside the rundown inn.]]

<<set $inndice to true>>You reach into your <<if $hasESsack is true>>Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack<</if>><<if $hasESsack is false>><<if $hasFancySatchel is false>>pocket<</if>><<if $hasFancySatchel is true>>fancy satchel<</if>><</if>> and pull out the vibrating object, but it slips your grasp and falls to the floor. It's your Icosahedron of Variable Destiny! <<if $d20 is 20>><<if visitedTags("inndice") lte 1>><<set $nat20 to $nat20 + 1>><</if>>You reach down to pick up the random number generator and see that it landed on a 20! How exciting!<<if $d20gold is false>> You also find a Big Ol' Bag o' Gold sitting nearby that you doubt you would have noticed otherwise! You quickly pick it up and tie it to your belt, even though it makes your pants sag a little. <<set $d20gold to true>><<set $goldtotal to $goldtotal + 1>><</if>>You also spot a strange and quite large lizard-like character hiding under the bed. It doesn't seem to have noticed that you have noticed it. <<if $hasSword is true>>[[Charge it with your Sword!]] <</if>><<if $hasBow is true>>[[Shoot it with your bow!]] <</if>>[[Charge it with your fists!]] <<if $exhaustion gte 2>>[[Sleep in the bed!]] <</if>>[[Search the middle room.]] [[Check the left room.]] [[Go back downstairs.|Look inside the rundown inn.]] <<elseif $d20 gte 12>>You reach down to pick up the random number generator and see that it landed on a $d20! As you're bent over, you glance under the bed and notice a pair of eyes. The eyes are attached to a large reptilian body. It seems to have noticed that you have noticed it. <<if $hasSword is true>>[[Charge it with your Sword!]] <</if>><<if $hasBow is true>>[[Shoot it with your bow!]] <</if>>[[Charge it with your fists!]] <<if $exhaustion gte 2>>[[Sleep in the bed!]] <</if>>[[Search the middle room.]] [[Check the left room.]] [[Go back downstairs.|Look inside the rundown inn.]] <<elseif $d20 gte 7>>You reach down to pick up the random number generator and see that it landed on a $d20! You have a feeling that you're being watched, but you can't tell who might be watching you...or from where... <<if $exhaustion gte 2>> [[Sleep in the bed!]] <</if>>[[Search the middle room.]] [[Check the left room.]] [[Go back downstairs.|Look inside the rundown inn.]] <<elseif $d20 gte 2>>You reach down to pick up the random number generator and see that it landed on a $d20! You collect your errant Icosahedron. <<if $exhaustion gte 2>> [[Sleep in the bed!]] <</if>>[[Search the middle room.]] [[Check the left room.]] [[Go back downstairs.|Look inside the rundown inn.]] <<elseif $d20 is 1>><<set $nat1 to $nat1 + 1>>You reach down to pick up the random number generator and see that it landed on a $d20! While you're distracted by picking it up, a creature pounces on you and takes a healthy bite out of your jugular. Before you expire, your fading vision reveals a large lizard creature which commences eating your face. Awful luck. [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?->previous()]]<</if>>

<<if $newtdead is false>>You climb into the comfortable bed to sleep. <<set $newtdeath to $newtdeath + 1>> You quickly drift off to a very deep sleep. So deep, in fact, that you do not notice when a monster climbs out from underneath the bed and eats your face. [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?->previous()]]<</if>><<if $newtdead is true>>You climb into the comfortable bed. You quickly drift off to a very deep sleep. [[Sleep for 8 hours.|SleepInn1]]<</if>>

<<if $swordtype is "Sword of Tetanus">>You charge at the lizard creature with your Sword of Tetanus! The Lizard rolls out from under the bed and skitters around chaotically! You slash at it but your sword glances off the lizard's scaly hide! It manuevers out of the way and pounces on you from the side! As you go down, it takes a healthy bite out of your jugular! Before you expire, the creature commences eating your face. <<set $newtdeath to $newtdeath + 1>> [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?->previous()]]<</if>> <<if $swordtype is "Obsidian Steel Scimitar">>You charge at the lizard creature with your Obsidian Steel Scimitar! The Lizard rolls out from under the bed and skitters around chaotically! Your sword pierces the lizard's scaly hide at the back of its neck and skewers it to the floor! It struggles as blood pours from it's neck wound. Eventually, the squirming stops. Needless to say, it's dead.<<set $newtdead to true>><<if visited("Charge it with your Sword!") lte 1>><<set $exhaustion to $exhaustion + 1>><</if>> [[Examine the corpse of the lizard.]] <<if $exhaustion gte 2>>[[Sleep in the bed!]] <</if>>[[Search the middle room.]] [[Investigate the right room.]] [[Go back downstairs.|Look inside the rundown inn.]] <</if>>

You shoot the lizard creature with your $bowtype! Your arrow flies true and strikes the lizard in the eye, hard enough for the arrowhead to puncture and stick out from the other eye! Needless to say, it's dead.<<set $newtdead to true>><<if visited("Shoot it with your bow!") lte 1>><<set $exhaustion to $exhaustion + 1>><</if>> [[Examine the corpse of the lizard.]] <<if $exhaustion gte 2>>[[Sleep in the bed!]] <</if>>[[Search the middle room.]] [[Investigate the right room.]] [[Go back downstairs.|Look inside the rundown inn.]]

You charge the lizard creature with your fists balled! The lizard moves quickly and erratically out from under the bed! As you swing your fists it manuevers out of the way and pounces on you from the side! As you go down, it takes a healthy bite out of your jugular! Before you expire, the creature commences eating your face. <<set $newtdeath to $newtdeath + 1>> [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?->previous()]]

You examine the corpse of the lizard. It is indeed very dead. You see now that it most closely resembles a newt. Regardless, this creature will likely not cause you any more trouble. [[Skin the newt!]] <<if $exhaustion gte 2>>[[Sleep in the bed!]] <</if>>[[Search the middle room.]] [[Investigate the right room.]] [[Go back downstairs.|Look inside the rundown inn.]]

<<if $hasSword is false>>You try to skin the newt. You do not seem to have any suitable tools with which to skin the creature. <<if $exhaustion gte 2>>[[Sleep in the bed!]] <</if>>[[Search the middle room.]] [[Investigate the right room.]] [[Go back downstairs.|Look inside the rundown inn.]]<</if>><<if $hasSword is true>>You try to skin the newt. You use your $swordtype to cut into the scaly skin of the creature. Though you don't think you've ever done this before, you are able to deftly carve the lizard's skin from the remainder of it's body. <<if $swordtype is "Obsidian Steel Scimitar">>You are convinced that your Obsidian Steel Scimitar is responsible for the ease of the endeavor.<</if>><<if $swordtype is "Sword of Tetanus">>It took you quite some time to do it, however. Perhaps if you had a better sword you'd have had an easier go of it.<<if visited("Skin the newt!") lte 1>><<set $exhaustion to $exhaustion + 1>><</if>><</if>> You look over the shorn skin. On the inside portion near where its neck was, you see small, neat writing: "This skin is property of the Chaotic Newt." ...How is that even possible? <<if $bagtype is "Pockets">>As you have nowhere to put it, you leave the Chaotic Newt Roll behind. [[Sleep in the bed!]] [[Search the middle room.]] [[Investigate the right room.]] [[Go back downstairs.|Look inside the rundown inn.]]<<else>>Shaking your head, you reel the skin into a Chaotic Newt Roll, and place it in your $bagtype. <<pickup '$inventory' unique '[[Chaotic Newt Roll]]'>><<set $skinnednewt to true>> [[Sleep in the bed!]] [[Search the middle room.]] [[Investigate the right room.]] [[Go back downstairs.|Look inside the rundown inn.]] <</if>><</if>>

This is the scaly hide of a Chaotic Newt. You know this, because the creature somehow tattooed its name on the inside of its skin. You probably don't want to touch the gooey inside of the hide too much until it's been tanned by someone who knows what they are doing. [[Touch the inside of the hide.]] [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]

You touch the inside of the skin. It's quite gooey. And gross. [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]

You throw out the scroll. A short time later, you find the scroll has mysteriously appeared back in your <<if $hasESsack is true>>Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack.<</if>><<if $hasESsack is false>><<if $hasFancySatchel is false>>pocket.<</if>><<if $hasFancySatchel is true>>fancy satchel.<</if>><</if>> It doesn't look like you'll be able to ditch it so easily. <<if $alarmtriggered is true>>[[Set the blasted thing on fire!]] <</if>>[[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]

You attempt to set the Scroll of Waking on fire.<<set $mentalfireattempt to $mentalfireattempt +1>> You are <<if $mentalfire is true>>still <</if>>unable to start a fire with your mind. Perhaps if you found an existing fire, or learned how to make your own, you could burn the Scroll of Waking. Hopefully. [[Throw away the Scroll]] [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]

You approach the parched woman. Her eyelids hang heavy and she wheezes heavily as you approach. She flicks a pained glance in your direction and croaks: "Please...Water..." <<if $canteenfull is true>>[[Give her a drink from your canteen!]] <</if>><<if $scrollactive is true>><<if $alarmtriggered is true>>[[Throw the Scroll of Waking into the fire!]] <</if>><</if>>[[Leave the woman alone and ask the congregation about Purfani.->Ask the congregation about Purfani.]] [[Leave the woman alone and ask the congregation for a place to sleep.->Ask the congregation for a place to sleep.]] <<if not hasVisited ("Shop at the marketplace.")>>[[Shop at the marketplace.]] <</if>><<if $exhaustion gte 2>>[[Find another place to sleep.->Find a place to sleep.]] <</if>>[[Go straight to the Arcane Sanctum.]]

You ask the homeless congregation about Purfani. They are all hesitant to be the first to speak, but eventually everyone speaks at once. You have trouble keeping up with their rapid-fire exposition, but you are able to glean a few key notes. Purfani was a prosperous and thriving city until 9 years ago when a massive chunk of Conjure Ore materialized in the center of town! A mysterious stranger had been seen going into and out of the Conjure Ore outcropping, and that's when things began to get worse. Since that time, the weather has been perptually overcast. There's a general air of despair hanging over the city and all the joy and motivation in their lives has been drained away. They do not know the exact cause, but highly suspect it is due to this mysterious stranger, a wild-haired man who demands to be called "Lord Aether". <<if $parchedwoman is true>>[[Approach the parched woman.]] <</if>><<if $scrollactive is true>><<if $alarmtriggered is true>>[[Throw the Scroll of Waking into the fire!]] <</if>><</if>><<if $exhaustion gte 2>>[[Ask the congregation for a place to sleep.]] <</if>><<if not hasVisited ("Shop at the marketplace.")>>[[Shop at the marketplace.]] <</if>><<if $exhaustion gte 2>>[[Find another place to sleep.->Find a place to sleep.]] <</if>>[[Go straight to the Arcane Sanctum.]]

You ask the congregation for a place to sleep. They look to each other and shrug. "You could sleep over there, if you want." You look over where they pointed. It's a bunched up collection of refuse and a threadbare blanket. <<if $exhaustion gte 2>>[[Sleep in the "bed" of refuse!]] <</if>><<if $parchedwoman is true>>[[Approach the parched woman.]] <</if>><<if $scrollactive is true>><<if $alarmtriggered is true>>[[Throw the Scroll of Waking into the fire!]] <</if>><</if>><<if not hasVisited("Ask the congregation about Purfani.")>>[[Ask the congregation about Purfani.]] <</if>><<if not hasVisited ("Shop at the marketplace.")>>[[Shop at the marketplace.]] <</if>><<if $exhaustion gte 2>>[[Find another place to sleep.->Find a place to sleep.]] <</if>>[[Go straight to the Arcane Sanctum.]]

You cast the Scroll of Waking into the fire! <<drop '$inventory' '[[Scroll of Waking]]'>><<set $scrollactive to false>><<set $burnedScroll to true>> The flames burn a bright blue as they consume the magical scroll. Purple smoke twirls up from the brazier. With a crackle and pop, the Scroll of Waking is no more. Good riddance! <<if $parchedwoman is true>>[[Approach the parched woman.]] <</if>><<if not hasVisited("Ask the congregation about Purfani.")>>[[Ask the congregation about Purfani.]] <</if>><<if $exhaustion gte 2>>[[Ask the congregation for a place to sleep.]] <</if>><<if not hasVisited ("Shop at the marketplace.")>>[[Shop at the marketplace.]] <</if>><<if $exhaustion gte 2>>[[Find another place to sleep.->Find a place to sleep.]] <</if>>[[Go straight to the Arcane Sanctum.]]

<<set $canteenfull to false>><<set $canteenempty to true>><<drop '$inventory' unique '[[Full Canteen]]'>><<pickup '$inventory' '[[Empty Canteen]]'>>You give the woman a small drink from your canteen. She grabs at the canteen and drinks all of it. Some color returns to her cheeks and she belches. The woman apologizes and hands the empty canteen back to you. <<set $parchedwoman to false>> <<if $scrollactive is true>><<if $alarmtriggered is true>>[[Throw the Scroll of Waking into the fire!]] <</if>><</if>><<if not hasVisited("Ask the congregation about Purfani.")>>[[Ask the congregation about Purfani.]] <</if>><<if $exhaustion gte 2>>[[Ask the congregation for a place to sleep.]] <</if>><<if not hasVisited ("Shop at the marketplace.")>>[[Shop at the marketplace.]] <</if>><<if $exhaustion gte 2>>[[Find another place to sleep.->Find a place to sleep.]] <</if>>[[Go straight to the Arcane Sanctum.]]

<<if $scrollactive is true>><<set $alarmtriggered to true>>BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG! The instant you fall asleep you, a blaring ringing sound springs back to conciousness. It fades out slowly and stops after a few seconds. You attempt to fall back to sleep, but the alarm sound blares again as soon as you start to drift off... Though you're tired, you remember foolishly activating the Scroll of Waking. It doesn't look like you're going to get any sleep while this scroll is around... <<elseif $scrollactive is false>>You sleep for <<print 7 + $exhaustion>> hours. When you wake up, you feel considerably rested and ready to take on the day! Also, you should probably take a shower.<<set $exhaustion to 0>> <</if>> <<if $parchedwoman is true>>[[Approach the parched woman.]] <</if>><<if $scrollactive is true>><<if $alarmtriggered is true>>[[Throw the Scroll of Waking into the fire!]] <</if>><</if>><<if not hasVisited("Ask the congregation about Purfani.")>>[[Ask the congregation about Purfani.]] <</if>><<if $exhaustion gte 2>>[[Ask the congregation for a place to sleep.]] <</if>><<if not hasVisited ("Shop at the marketplace.")>>[[Shop at the marketplace.]] <</if>><<if $exhaustion gte 2>>[[Find another place to sleep.->Find a place to sleep.]] <</if>>[[Go straight to the Arcane Sanctum.]]

<<if Date.now() gte setup.targetDate.getTime()>> The target date is here or has past! <<else>> Target date hasn't arrived yet. <</if>> put this into javascript. //Kickstarter link change date <<set setup.targetDate to new Date('December 17, 1995 03:24:00')>> //Paste below in passage: //<<if Date.now() gte setup.targetDate.getTime()>> //The target date is here or has past! //<<else>> //Target date hasn't arrived yet. //<</if>>

<<if tags().includes('sandpalace')>> stuff <</if>>

<<set $sleepdeath to $sleepdeath + 1>><<set $deliriumdead to random(1,3)>><<if $deliriumdead is 1>>You notice a mirror and in your state of delirium, confuse your reflection for a monster! Panicking, you smash the mirror! A piece of glass flies at your throat and perfectly slashes your jugular! Perhaps you should have found a place to sleep! <<set $exhaustion to 0>> [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?->previous()]]<</if>><<if $deliriumdead is 2>>You are incredibly tired! Midstep you pass out and fall forward, smashing your skull on the ground. You unfortunately expire from cranial trauma. Perhaps you should have found a place to sleep! <<set $exhaustion to 0>> [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?->previous()]]<</if>><<if $deliriumdead is 3>>In your state of advanced delirium, you spot a fire nearby. You investigate the imaginary fire, but breathing in the smoke causes you to pass out and fall face-first into the hallucinatory flames. The fake smoke inhalation and excessive fictional burns lead to your demise. Perhaps you should have found a place to sleep! <<set $exhaustion to 0>> [[YOU HAVE DIED! Take a rest, then turn back time?->$return]]<</if>>

You continue to stare up, trying to see the top of the Arcane Sanctum. However, as predicted, you feel vertigo and fall over. You vomit into the neatly trimmed weeds surrounding the area.<<if visited("Continue staring.") lte 1>><<set $exhaustion to $exhaustion + 1>><</if>> [[Approach the entrance to the Arcane Sanctum.]] [[Go back to what you were doing.|previous()]]

You approach the entrance to the Arcane Sanctum. Before you stands a large aperture, protected by a slab of Conjure Ore. [[Punch the slab of Conjure Ore.]] [[Knock softly.]] [[Knock hard.]] [[Cast a spell.]] [[Ask the slab of Conjure Ore to move aside.]]

You punch the slab of Conjure Ore, because of course you do. <<set $gatedeath to $gatedeath + 1>> <<if $gatedeath lte 1>>The slab of Conjure Ore becomes indignant and it electrocutes you. Why would you do such a thing? <<elseif $gatedeath is 2>>This slab of Conjure Ore becomes indignant as well, and similarly electrocutes you. Why would you do such a thing again? <<elseif $gatedeath is 3>>As the slab of Conjure Ore electrocutes you to death, you begin to sense a pattern. <<elseif $gatedeath is 4>>The doors of this world seem to share a propensity for electricity and a disdain for being punched. Perhaps you shouldn’t continue doing this? <<elseif $gatedeath is 5>>The slab of Conjure Ore, unsurprisingly, electrocutes you to death. Perhaps in your next life you should seek anger management. <<elseif $gatedeath is 6>>The slab of Conjure Ore does…not electrocute you! However, it does splash you with fast-dissolving acid. Variety! <<elseif $gatedeath is 7>>The slab of Conjure Ore does not respond. Sheer panic from trying to figure out what the slab of Conjure Ore is plotting causes you to suffer a stroke. <<elseif $gatedeath is 8>>Upon touching the slab of Conjure Ore you are teleported to the door dimension. Gates, doors, and portals of all shapes and sizes beat you painfully for what feels like weeks. <<elseif $gatedeath is 9>>The slab of Conjure Ore parries your attack and impales you with its splinter sword. <<elseif $gatedeath is 10>>The slab of Conjure Ore is actually made of fire ants. Millions of fire ants. As you punch this slab of Conjure Ore, the ants swarm and devour you. <<elseif $gatedeath is 11>>As you assault this slab of Conjure Ore, a trap-door opens underneath you. You fall for seemingly forever. <<elseif $gatedeath is 12>>The slab of Conjure Ore opens its gaping maw and devours you with a loud crunch and gulp. <<elseif $gatedeath is 13>>The slab of Conjure Ore sets you aflame with its mental powers. Cool! <<elseif $gatedeath is 14>>The slab of Conjure Ore douses you with 12 gallons liquid nitrogen. You are frozen solid. <<elseif $gatedeath is 15>>The slab of Conjure Ore speaks directly into your mind. "The doors of the world have been made aware of your presence and have named you ‘The One Who Knocks’. You should be keenly aware of any gates, doors, and portals moving forward." While you are stunned by the thought of a psychic door, it shoots a blow dart into your neck. You wonder if it is pois- <<elseif $gatedeath gte 16>>The slab of Conjure Ore immediately recognizes you as "The One Who Knocks". It uses forbidden portal magic to transport you to the door dimension. You are slowly and painfully abraded and dissolved by wood chips over a period of 1000 years.<</if>> [[YOU HAVE DIED. Turn back time?->previous()]]

You knock softly on the slab of Conjure Ore. Nothing happens. [[Punch the slab of Conjure Ore.]] [[Knock hard.]] [[Cast a spell.]] [[Ask the slab of Conjure Ore to move aside.]]

You knock hard on the slab of Conjure Ore. Nothing happens. [[Punch the slab of Conjure Ore.]] [[Knock softly.]] [[Cast a spell.]] [[Ask the slab of Conjure Ore to move aside.]]

You wave your hands wildly and speak gibberish. Nothing happens. Maybe you should learn some spells first? [[Punch the slab of Conjure Ore.]] [[Knock softly.]] [[Knock hard.]] [[Ask the slab of Conjure Ore to move aside.]]

You ask the slab of Conjure Ore to move aside. After a brief pause, you hear a soft "Ahem". [[Demand, more sternly, that the slab of Conjure Ore moves aside.]] [[Say, “Please.”]]

You demand, in a very stern voice, that the slab of Conjure Ore moves aside for you. You hear an annoyed and indignant, "Why, I never!" However, the slab does roll to the side, allowing you passage. [[Proceed into the Arcane Sanctum.|Proceed into the Arcane Sanctum (bad).]]

You ask the slab of Conjure Ore to please move aside. The slab replies, "There, was that so hard?" as it rolls off to the side. It's not wrong. You could stand to be a bit more polite, in my opinion. [[Proceed into the Arcane Sanctum.]]

With the slab of Conjure Ore rolled off the to the side, you proceed through the aperture.<<set $gatedeath to $gatedeath + 1>> Until the slab rolls back into place with the quickness of a lightning strike, flattening you, unflatteringly. As it shakes off your messy remains, it thinks aloud "Would a little politness have killed them? I don't think so. Had to take matters into my own stones!" [[YOU HAVE DIED. Turn back time?->Approach the entrance to the Arcane Sanctum.]]

<<if not hasVisited("Proceed into the Arcane Sanctum.")>>You cautiously walk past the slab, and into the Arcane Sanctum. The slab rolls closed behind you. <</if>>You are now standing in the foyer of the Arcane Sanctum of Lord Aether with your back to the entrance slab. <<if hasVisited("Look around sanctum foyer")>><<if $brokenchan is false>>[[Fiddle with the chandelier's rope.]] <</if>><<if $brokenchan is true>>[[Examine the chandelier wreckage.]] <</if>><<if $hasCOBook is true>><<if $bookunderchan is false>>[[Set down your book in the middle of the room.]] <</if>><</if>>[[Check out the bookshelf.]] [[Swipe a torch from the sconce.]] <</if>><<if not hasVisited("Look around sanctum foyer")>>[[Look around.|Look around sanctum foyer]] <</if>>[[Approach the left door.]] [[Approach the right door.]] [[Approach the door at the base of the stairs.]] [[Climb the stairs in front of you and approach the door at the top.]]

You approach the left door of the Sanctum. It's a solid plank of wood, carefully stained and then lacquered with a pearlescent substance that reflected the purple of the magical crystals in the room. There is a brass knob set at approximately waist-height on the left side of the door. [[Open the door by its knob!]] [[Punch the door!|SanctumDoorPunch]] <<if not hasVisited("Look around sanctum foyer")>>[[Look around.|Look around sanctum foyer]] <</if>><<if hasVisited("Look around sanctum foyer")>><<if $brokenchan is false>>[[Fiddle with the chandelier's rope.]] <</if>><<if $brokenchan is true>>[[Examine the chandelier wreckage.]] <</if>><<if $hasCOBook is true>><<if $brokenchan is false>>[[Set down your book in the middle of the room.]] <</if>><</if>><<if $hasCOBook is false or $bookunderchan is false>>[[Check out the bookshelf.]] <</if>>[[Swipe a torch from the sconce.]] <</if>>[[Approach the right door.]] [[Approach the door at the base of the stairs.]] [[Climb the stairs and approach the door at the top.|Climb the stairs in front of you and approach the door at the top.]]

You approach the right door of the Sanctum. It's a slab of metal painted and decorated to appear as if it were wood. There is a lever set in the door. [[Open the door by its lever!]] [[Punch the door!|SanctumDoorPunch]] <<if not hasVisited("Look around sanctum foyer")>>[[Look around.|Look around sanctum foyer]] <</if>><<if hasVisited("Look around sanctum foyer")>><<if $brokenchan is false>>[[Fiddle with the chandelier's rope.]] <</if>><<if $brokenchan is true>>[[Examine the chandelier wreckage.]] <</if>><<if $hasCOBook is true>><<if $brokenchan is false>>[[Set down your book in the middle of the room.]] <</if>><</if>><<if $hasCOBook is false or $bookunderchan is false>>[[Check out the bookshelf.]] <</if>>[[Swipe a torch from the sconce.]] <</if>>[[Approach the left door.]] [[Approach the door at the base of the stairs.]] [[Climb the stairs and approach the door at the top.|Climb the stairs in front of you and approach the door at the top.]]

<<if previous() is "Fall in!">>You exit through the stone door and find yourself in the foyer below the stairs. The stone door behind you slams shut. <<else>>You approach the door in front of you. It's appears to be solid stone. If there is a handle to this door, you can't see it at all.<</if>> [[Punch the door!|SanctumDoorPunch]] <<if not hasVisited("Look around sanctum foyer")>>[[Look around.|Look around sanctum foyer]] <</if>><<if hasVisited("Look around sanctum foyer")>><<if $brokenchan is false>>[[Fiddle with the chandelier's rope.]] <</if>><<if $brokenchan is true>>[[Examine the chandelier wreckage.]] <</if>><<if $hasCOBook is true>><<if $brokenchan is false>>[[Set down your book in the middle of the room.]] <</if>><</if>><<if $hasCOBook is false or $bookunderchan is false>>[[Check out the bookshelf.]] <</if>>[[Swipe a torch from the sconce.]] <</if>>[[Approach the right door.]] [[Approach the left door.]] [[Climb the stairs and approach the door at the top.|Climb the stairs in front of you and approach the door at the top.]]

You climb the stairs and stand in front of the door at the top. The door is pure Conjure Ore, molded, carved and shaped into a flat and smooth slab. The handle is a delightfully shaped gem, set midway through the left side. [[Open the door.|Openpurfanidoor1]] <<if not hasVisited("Look around sanctum foyer")>>[[Look around.|Look around sanctum foyer]] <</if>><<if hasVisited("Look around sanctum foyer")>><<if $brokenchan is false>>[[Fiddle with the chandelier's rope.]] <</if>><<if $brokenchan is true>>[[Examine the chandelier wreckage.]] <</if>><<if $hasCOBook is true>><<if $brokenchan is false>>[[Set down your book in the middle of the room.]] <</if>><</if>><<if $hasCOBook is false or $bookunderchan is false>>[[Check out the bookshelf.]] <</if>>[[Swipe a torch from the sconce.]] <</if>>[[Approach the left door.]] [[Approach the right door.]] [[Approach the door at the base of the stairs.]]

With your back to the entrance, you look at your surroundings. You are standing in a spacious foyer. <<if $brokenchan is false>>Everything gives off an amethyst hue, likely emanating from the chandelier, made of Conjure Ore, hanging from the ceiling. The chandelier must be enchanted to give off light, since the rest of the Conjure Ore forming the structure is not similarly illuminated. It is secured to the wall by an elegant rope. Next to the chandelier rope's hook, there is a large bookshelf along the wall on the right, with several books strewn about the floor, opened to random pages. <<if $hasTorch is false>>There are unlit torches sitting in sconces to either side of you in the entryway.<</if>><<if $hasTorch is true>>There is an unlit torch sitting in a sconce to the side of you. The sconce to the opposite side of you is empty.<</if>> You see doors to the left and right. There are two doors in front of you: one at the foot of a stairway and one at the top.<</if>><<if $brokenchan is true>>The wreckage of a chandelier is splayed across the middle of the room, broken crystals of Conjure Ore are scattered about the floor. There is a large bookshelf along the wall on the right, with several books strewn about the floor, opened to random pages. <<if $hasTorch is false>>There are unlit torches sitting in sconces to either side of you in the entryway.<</if>><<if $hasTorch is true>>There is an unlit torch sitting in a sconce to the side of you. The sconce to the opposite side of you is empty.<</if>> You see doors to the left and right. There are two doors in front of you: one at the foot of a stairway and one at the top.<</if>> <<if $brokenchan is false>>[[Fiddle with the chandelier's rope.]] <</if>><<if $brokenchan is true>>[[Examine the chandelier wreckage.]] <</if>><<if $hasCOBook is true>><<if $brokenchan is false>>[[Set down your book in the middle of the room.]] <</if>><</if>><<if $hasCOBook is false or $bookunderchan is false>>[[Check out the bookshelf.]] <</if>>[[Swipe a torch from the sconce.]] [[Approach the left door.]] [[Approach the right door.]] [[Approach the door at the base of the stairs.]] [[Climb the stairs in front of you and approach the door at the top.]]

You approach a hook on the wall, to which the chandelier's rope is attached. It's knotted pretty tightly and the hook is closed with a combination lock. <<if not hasVisited("Try entering 1,2,3,4,5 on the combination lock!")>>[[Try entering 1,2,3,4,5 on the combination lock!]] <</if>>[[Unknot the knot!]] <<if $hasTorch is true>>[[Burn the rope with your torch!]] <</if>><<if $hasSword is true>>[[Cut the rope with your Sword!]] <</if>><<if $brokenchan is false>><<if $hasCOBook is true>>[[Set down your book in the middle of the room.]] <</if>><</if>>[[Check out the bookshelf.]] [[Swipe a torch from the sconce.]] [[Approach the left door.]] [[Approach the right door.]] [[Approach the door at the base of the stairs.]] [[Climb the stairs in front of you and approach the door at the top.]]

You check out the bookshelf and surrounding accoutrements. The scent of vellichor is pervasive. The books on the shelf are written in myriad languages, most you don't understand. Granted, you don't understand most of the ones in English either. <<if $hasCOBook is false and $bookunderchan is false>>One of the open books on the floor seems to be a low enough reading level for you to follow. And it has a lot of pictures! The title of this book is: "1001 Ways to Use Conjure Ore!" The subtitle says: "#582 Will Blow Your Mind!"<</if>> <<if $hasCOBook is false>>[[Take the book!]] <</if>><<if $brokenchan is false>>[[Fiddle with the chandelier's rope.]] <</if>><<if $brokenchan is true>>[[Examine the chandelier wreckage.]] <</if>><<if $hasCOBook is true>><<if $bookunderchan is false>>[[Set down your book in the middle of the room.]] <</if>><</if>>[[Swipe a torch from the sconce.]] [[Approach the left door.]] [[Approach the right door.]] [[Approach the door at the base of the stairs.]] [[Climb the stairs in front of you and approach the door at the top.]]

<<if $hasTorch is true>>You approach an empty wall sconce and notice there is a torch missing from it. Most likely because you have already taken it. You briefly consider swiping another one, but who needs two torches? <<if $brokenchan is false>>[[Fiddle with the chandelier's rope.]] <</if>><<if $brokenchan is true>>[[Examine the chandelier wreckage.]] <</if>><<if $bookunderchan is false>>[[Set down your book in the middle of the room.]] <</if>>[[Check out the bookshelf.]] [[Approach the left door.]] [[Approach the right door.]] [[Approach the door at the base of the stairs.]] [[Climb the stairs in front of you and approach the door at the top.]]<</if>><<if $hasTorch is false>><<pickup '$equipmentInv' unique '[[Purfani Torch]]'>>You swipe a torch from one of the wall sconces. <<set $hasTorch to true>> You briefly consider swiping another one, but who needs two torches? Now if only you could figure out how to light it... You place the torch in your inventory next to your equipment. <<if $brokenchan is false>>[[Fiddle with the chandelier's rope.]] <</if>><<if $brokenchan is true>>[[Examine the chandelier wreckage.]] <</if>><<if $hasCOBook is true>><<if $brokenchan is false>>[[Set down your book in the middle of the room.]] <</if>><</if>>[[Check out the bookshelf.]] [[Approach the left door.]] [[Approach the right door.]] [[Approach the door at the base of the stairs.]] [[Climb the stairs in front of you and approach the door at the top.]]<</if>>

<<if previous() is "Examine the chandelier wreckage.">>You wiggle the book loose from under the wrecked chandelier. It looks no worse for the wear.<<set $bookunderchan to false>> <</if>><<pickup '$inventory' unique '[[1001 Ways to Use Conjure Ore!]]'>><<set $hasCOBook to true>>You take the book, "1001 Ways to Use Conjure Ore!" from the floor and place it in your $bagtype. That should make for some interesting reading material! <<if $brokenchan is false>>[[Fiddle with the chandelier's rope.]] <</if>><<if $brokenchan is true>>[[Examine the chandelier wreckage.]] <</if>>[[Swipe a torch from the sconce.]] [[Approach the left door.]] [[Approach the right door.]] [[Approach the door at the base of the stairs.]] [[Climb the stairs in front of you and approach the door at the top.]]

You look at your copy of "1001 Ways to Use Conjure Ore!". The subtitle reads:"#582 Will Blow Your Mind!" Skimming through the book yields information on how to use Conjure Ore, including, but not limited to: magical applications, as a cleaning product, and as seasoning for food. [[Flip to #582]] [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]

<<set $COBook1 to true>>You flip to "Use #582: Amplifying Teleportation Magic!" It reads: <center>Conjure Ore proves to be an excellent catalyst for dimensional travel! Simple teleportation spells can be upgraded into evocations capable of ripping holes in the fabric of reality, sending you to the dimension of your preference! When combined with the hopes & dreams of an unwilling populace of a small-to-moderately-sized town or city, granulated Conjure Ore will provide the caster with all the boost they need!</center> Riveting. <<if $needglasses is false>>[[Read the very fine print]] <</if>>[[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]

<<set $COBook2 to true>>You read the very fine print. It's a good thing you don't need glasses! <center>"A warning, dear reader! Make sure that you only use granulated Conjure Ore for the best effect! Powdered Conjure Ore will actually have a negative effect (often resulting in the consumption of the caster!), and other forms will just be ineffective!"</center> [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]

You enter 1,2,3,4,5 on the combination lock. Worth a shot, considering it's the same combination you use for your luggage. It doesn't work. Pity. [[Unknot the knot!]] <<if $hasTorch is true>>[[Burn the rope with your torch!]] <</if>><<if $hasSword is true>>[[Cut the rope with your Sword!]] <</if>><<if $brokenchan is false>><<if $hasCOBook is true>>[[Set down your book in the middle of the room.]] <</if>><</if>>[[Check out the bookshelf.]] [[Swipe a torch from the sconce.]] [[Approach the left door.]] [[Approach the right door.]] [[Approach the door at the base of the stairs.]] [[Climb the stairs in front of you and approach the door at the top.]]

A torch you swiped from the Arcane Sanctum at Purfani. <<if $ptorchon is false>>It is unlit<<if visitedTags("torchcount") lte 0>>, but you could probably light it if you tried<</if>>. <<if not hasVisited("Examine the torch.")>>[[Light the torch.]]<<else>><<link[[Flip the switch to the “On” position!]]>><<set $ptorchon to true>><</link>><</if>> [[Examine the torch.]] [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]<</if>><<if $ptorchon is true>>It is lit. [[Extinguish the torch with your mind!|Light the torch.]] <<link[[Flip the switch to the “Off” position!|Flip the switch to the “On” position!]]>><<set $ptorchon to false>><</link>> [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]<</if>>

<<if $ptorchon is false>>You attempt to light the torch with your mind.<<if visitedTags("torchcount") lte 1>><<set $mentalfireattempt to $mentalfireattempt +1>><</if>> Shockingly, that didn't seem to work. [[Examine the torch.]] [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]<</if>><<if $ptorchon is true>>You attempt to extinguish the torch with your mind. Amazingly enough, it continues burning brightly. <<link[[Flip the switch to the “Off” position!|Flip the switch to the “On” position!]]>><<set $ptorchon to false>><</link>> [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]<</if>>

You examine the Torch. The torch is made up of a wooden staff topped by a cloth that has been coated with a chemical concoction. <<if $ptorchon is false>>It is currently unlit. There is a small “On/Off” switch near the base of the wooden handle. It is currently in the “Off” position. <<link[[Flip the switch to the “On” position!]]>><<set $ptorchon to true>><</link>> [[Light the torch.]] [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]<</if>><<if $ptorchon is true>>It is currently lit. The “On/Off” switch is in the “On” position. <<link[[Flip the switch to the “Off” position!|Flip the switch to the “On” position!]]>><<set $ptorchon to false>><</link>> [[Extinguish the torch|Light the torch.]] [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]<</if>>

<<if $ptorchon is true>>You flip the switch to the “On” position. The chemical-coated cloth springs to life in a burst of flame. It is quite warm. Probably best to keep your face away from it. <<link[[Flip the switch to the “Off” position!|Flip the switch to the “On” position!]]>><<set $ptorchon to false>><</link>> [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]<</if>><<if $ptorchon is false>>You flip the switch to the “Off” position. The flames extinguish themselves immediately. The chemical-coated cloth looks entirely unburned. It's no longer radiating any heat, but it's still probably best to keep your face away from it. <<link[[Flip the switch to the “On” position!|Flip the switch to the “On” position!]]>><<set $ptorchon to true>><</link>> [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]<</if>>

<<if $inventory.toArray().length lte 10>><</if>>

You hold your torch under the chandelier's rope. <<if $ptorchon is false>>After a few moments with no luck, you realize that this would probably work a whole lot better if the torch was ignited. [[Open your Inventory and check out the Torch.|Purfani Torch]] <<if not hasVisited("Try entering 1,2,3,4,5 on the combination lock!")>>[[Try entering 1,2,3,4,5 on the combination lock!]] <</if>>[[Unknot the knot!]] <<if $hasSword is true>>[[Cut the rope with your Sword!]] <</if>>[[Check out the bookshelf.]] [[Approach the left door.]] [[Approach the right door.]] [[Approach the door at the base of the stairs.]] [[Climb the stairs in front of you and approach the door at the top.]]<</if>><<if $ptorchon is true>>After 30 seconds or so, smoke begins to trail up and out of the rope as the individual strands catch flame one-by-one. Any second now the rope should snap and the Chandelier will fall. [[Stand under the chandelier and catch it before it hits the ground!]] [[Wait for the chandelier to fall.]]<</if>>

You attempt to unknot the knot with your nimble digits. <<if visitedTags("pullvibrate2") gte 1>><<if $hasd20 is true>> You feel a vibration in your $bagtype! <<link[[Pull out the vibrating object!|Pullvibrate2]]>><<set $d20 to random(1, 20)>><</link>><</if>><</if>><<if $hasd20 is false>> It seems to be a futile effort. That sucker is knotted super tightly!<</if>> <<if not hasVisited("Try entering 1,2,3,4,5 on the combination lock!")>>[[Try entering 1,2,3,4,5 on the combination lock!]] <</if>> <<if $hasTorch is true>>[[Burn the rope with your torch!]] <</if>><<if $hasSword is true>>[[Cut the rope with your Sword!]] <</if>><<if $brokenchan is false>><<if $hasCOBook is true>>[[Set down your book in the middle of the room.]] <</if>><</if>>[[Check out the bookshelf.]] [[Swipe a torch from the sconce.]] [[Approach the left door.]] [[Approach the right door.]] [[Approach the door at the base of the stairs.]] [[Climb the stairs in front of you and approach the door at the top.]]

You draw your $swordtype and begin sawing through the rope. About 3/4 of the way through, you stop sawing and realize the rope will soon break on it's own. Any second now the Chandelier will fall. [[Stand under the chandelier and catch it before it hits the ground!]] [[Wait for the chandelier to fall.]]

<<set $d20 to random(1, 20)>>You reach into your $bagtype and pull out the Icosahedron of Variable Destiny. The strange vibrations emanating from within cause you to drop it on the floor! <<if $d20 is 20>><<if visitedTag("inndice") lte 1>><<set $nat20 to $nat20 + 1>><</if>>You reach down to pick up the random number generator and see that it landed on a 20! That's super cool!<<if $d20gold is false>> You also find a Big Ol' Bag o' Gold sitting nearby that you doubt you would have noticed otherwise! You quickly pick it up and tie it to your belt. It makes your pants sag a little.<<set $d20gold to true>><<set $goldtotal to $goldtotal + 1>><</if>> <<elseif $d20 gte 2>>You reach down to pick up the random number generator and see that it landed on a $d20! <<elseif $d20 is 1>><<set $nat1 to $nat1 + 1>>You reach down to pick up the random number generator and see that it landed on a $d20! While you're picking it up, a dust mite flies into your eye. It's really quite annoying. Awful luck.<</if>> Regardless, unknoting the knot seems a futile effort. That sucker is knotted super tightly! <<if not hasVisited("Try entering 1,2,3,4,5 on the combination lock!")>>[[Try entering 1,2,3,4,5 on the combination lock!]] <</if>> <<if $hasTorch is true>>[[Burn the rope with your torch!]] <</if>><<if $hasSword is true>>[[Cut the rope with your Sword!]] <</if>><<if $bookunderchan is false>>[[Set down your book in the middle of the room.]] <</if>>[[Check out the bookshelf.]] [[Swipe a torch from the sconce.]] [[Approach the left door.]] [[Approach the right door.]] [[Approach the door at the base of the stairs.]] [[Climb the stairs in front of you and approach the door at the top.]]

As the taut rope's strands stretch to their breaking point, you race to the center of the room and stand underneath the chandelier, arms outstretched, ready to catch it. You hear the rope snap! The chandelier plummets to the ground, with only your fleshy body in between the two. Maybe your depth perception was off, but the chandelier was much too large and heavy for you to catch. The last thing you see is a streak of purple careening toward your face! <<set $envirodeath to $envirodeath +1>> [[YOU HAVE DIED. Turn back time?->previous()]]

You wait for the last strands of the rope to give way and watch as the chandelier plummets to the ground! It falls in a hurry and crashes with a resounding cacophony of shattering glass and crystal. If anyone is in this place, they'll have definitely heard that. The light in the room has dimmed considerably, but the remnants of the chandelier are still glowing<<if $ptorchon is true>>, and your torch is still lit<</if>>. <<set $brokenchan to true>> [[Examine the chandelier wreckage.]]

You examine the wreckage of the Conjure Ore Chandelier. It's splayed across the middle of the room, broken crystals of Conjure Ore are scattered about the floor. <<if $hasCOreChunk is false>>It appears as most of the luminescence has dissipated, but a few of the gems still shine with amethyst light.<</if>><<if $bookunderchan is true>> You can still access the book, "1001 Ways to Use Conjure Ore!" if you move some of the mess.<</if>> <<if $hasCOreChunk is false>>[[Take a chunk of the shining Conjure Ore!]] <</if>><<if $bookunderchan is true>><<if $hasCOBook is false>><<link[[Take the book!]]>><<set $bookunderchan to false>><</link>> <</if>><</if>><<if $hasCOBook is false or $bookunderchan is false>>[[Check out the bookshelf.]] <</if>>[[Swipe a torch from the sconce.]] [[Approach the left door.]] [[Approach the right door.]] [[Approach the door at the base of the stairs.]] [[Climb the stairs in front of you and approach the door at the top.]]

<<pickup '$inventory' unique '[[Glowing Chunk of Conjure Ore]]'>><<set $hasCOreChunk to true>>You pick through the various crystals and settle on one just slightly smaller than your fist. It glows brightly enough to shed light in front of you, approximately as much as a torch should. You figure out a way to hook the chunk to your shirt, providing a field of light in front of you.<<if $bookunderchan is true>> You can still access the book, "1001 Ways to Use Conjure Ore!" if you move some of the mess.<</if>> <<if $bookunderchan is true>><<if $hasCOBook is false>><<link[[Take the book!]]>><<set $bookunderchan to false>><</link>> <</if>><</if>><<if $hasCOBook is false or $bookunderchan is false>>[[Check out the bookshelf.]] <</if>>[[Swipe a torch from the sconce.]] [[Approach the left door.]] [[Approach the right door.]] [[Approach the door at the base of the stairs.]] [[Climb the stairs in front of you and approach the door at the top.]]

A luminescent chunk of Conjure Ore, just slightly smaller than your fist. It glows brightly enough to shed light in front of you, approximately as much as a torch should. It's currently hooked onto your shirt, providing a field of light in front of you. [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]

<<drop '$inventory' '[[1001 Ways to Use Conjure Ore!]]'>><<set $hasCOBook to false>>You set "1001 Ways to Use Conjure Ore!" on the floor in the middle of the room.<<set $bookunderchan to true>> It's conveniently placed under the chandelier. <<if $hasCOBook is false>>[[Take the book!]] <</if>><<if $brokenchan is false>>[[Fiddle with the chandelier's rope.]] <</if>><<if $brokenchan is true>>[[Examine the chandelier wreckage.]] <</if>>[[Swipe a torch from the sconce.]] [[Approach the left door.]] [[Approach the right door.]] [[Approach the door at the base of the stairs.]] [[Climb the stairs and approach the door at the top.|Climb the stairs in front of you and approach the door at the top.]]

You punch the door in a questionable attempt to open it. <<set $gatedeath to $gatedeath + 1>> <<if $gatedeath lte 1>>The door becomes indignant and it electrocutes you. Why would you do such a thing? <<elseif $gatedeath is 2>>This door becomes indignant as well, and similarly electrocutes you. Why would you do such a thing again? <<elseif $gatedeath is 3>>As the door electrocutes you to death, you begin to sense a pattern. <<elseif $gatedeath is 4>>The doors of this world seem to share a propensity for electricity and a disdain for being punched. Perhaps you shouldn’t continue doing this? <<elseif $gatedeath is 5>>The door, unsurprisingly, electrocutes you to death. Perhaps in your next life you should seek anger management. <<elseif $gatedeath is 6>>The door does…not electrocute you! However, it does splash you with fast-dissolving acid. Variety! <<elseif $gatedeath is 7>>The door does not respond. Sheer panic from trying to figure out what the door is plotting causes you to suffer a stroke. <<elseif $gatedeath is 8>>Upon touching the door you are teleported to the door dimension. Gates, doors, and portals of all shapes and sizes beat you painfully for what feels like weeks. <<elseif $gatedeath is 9>>The door parries your attack and impales you with its splinter sword. <<elseif $gatedeath is 10>>The door is made of fire ants. Millions of fire ants. As you punch this door, the ants swarm and devour you. <<elseif $gatedeath is 11>>As you assault this door, a trap-door opens underneath you. You fall for seemingly forever. <<elseif $gatedeath is 12>>The door opens its gaping maw and devours you with a loud crunch and gulp. <<elseif $gatedeath is 13>>The door sets you aflame with its mental powers. Cool! <<elseif $gatedeath is 14>>The door douses you with 12 gallons liquid nitrogen. You are frozen solid. <<elseif $gatedeath is 15>>The door speaks directly into your mind. " The doors of the world have been made aware of your presence and have named you ‘The One Who Knocks’. You should be keenly aware of any gates, doors, and portals moving forward." While you are stunned by the thought of a psychic door, it shoots a blow dart into your neck. You wonder if it is pois- <<elseif $gatedeath gte 16>>The door immediately recognizes you as "The One Who Knocks". It uses forbidden portal magic to transport you to the door dimension. You are slowly and painfully abraded and dissolved by wood chips over a period of 1000 years.<</if>> [[YOU HAVE DIED. Turn back time?->previous()]]

<<if previous() is "Approach the left door.">>You turn the knob of the door and it opens with relative ease. <</if>><<if $ptorchon is true>>The room is quite dark, but, luckily, you have a lit torch which provides enough light to see about the room. You decide it would be a good idea to look around before entering. The room is cube shaped, approximately 20'x20'x20'. You spy a door across the room with a name-plate bolted onto it. There is a panel on the right-side wall with several levers and buttons protruding from it. [[Investigate the panel on the right wall.]] [[Inspect the door at the other end of the room.]] [[Return to the Foyer|Proceed into the Arcane Sanctum.]] <<elseif $hasCOreChunk is true>> The room is quite dark, but your glowing chunk of Conjure Ore casts a purplish illumination upon the room, allowing you to get a good view. The room is cube shaped, approximately 20'x20'x20'. You spy a door across the room with a name-plate bolted onto it. There is a panel on the right-side wall with several levers and buttons protruding from it. [[Investigate the panel on the right wall.]] [[Inspect the door at the other end of the room.]] [[Return to the Foyer|Proceed into the Arcane Sanctum.]] <<else>>The room is quite dark. Even with the ambient light from the foyer, you are unable to discern an accurate layout. You fumble your hand across the wall near the door, but no light switch makes itself apparent. [[Enter the dark room.]] [[Return to the Foyer.|Proceed into the Arcane Sanctum.]] <</if>>

<<if previous() is "Approach the right door.">>You engage the lever of the door and it opens soundlessly. <</if>><<if $ptorchon is true>>An unnatural darkness settles on the room, but your lit torch cuts through it and spills light across the room. You decide it would be a good idea to look around before traipsing in. The room is rectangle shaped, and not particularly large. There is a panel wall directly across from you, housing a single lever. There is also a small, Pembroke-Welsh Corgi sitting inside of portable kennel cage. The dog is wearing a red cape. That’s odd. [[Investigate the panel on the far wall.]] <<if $hasWaffles is false>>[[Visit the caged corgi!]] <</if>>[[Return to the Foyer|Proceed into the Arcane Sanctum.]] <<elseif $hasCOreChunk is true>> An unnatural darkness settles on the room, but your glowing chunk of Conjure Ore spreads a bright purple hue upon the room. You decide it would be a good idea to look around before traipsing in. The room is rectangle shaped, and not particularly large. There is a panel wall directly across from you, housing a few levers. There is also a small, Pembroke-Welsh Corgi sitting inside of portable kennel cage. The dog is wearing a red cape. That’s odd. [[Investigate the panel on the far wall.]] <<if $hasWaffles is false>>[[Visit the caged corgi!]] <</if>>[[Return to the Foyer|Proceed into the Arcane Sanctum.]] <<else>>The room is quite dark. Light from the foyer spills in, but provides no help in determining the contents of the room. You wait for your eyes to adjust, but they never do. [[Enter the pitch dark room.]] [[Return to the Foyer.|Proceed into the Arcane Sanctum.]] <</if>>

You investigate the panel on the right wall. The panel is stainless steel with 4 buttons of varying shades of purple and 2 levers. The designer of this panel should probably have read a book about efficiently using space as an entire section of the panel is completely devoid of buttons and levers. <<if $leverRightRight is "Neutral" and $leverRightLeft is "Neutral">> The two levers are resting in the neutral middle position between plastic placards at the top and bottom of each.<</if>> The right lever is labeled “Spikes” at the top, and “Pillows” at the bottom. <<if $leverRightRight is "Spikes" or $leverRightRight is "Pillows">>It is currently set to the “$leverRightRight” position.<</if>> The left lever is labeled “Gas” at the top and “Energy” at the bottom. <<if $leverRightLeft is "Gas" or $leverRightLeft is "Energy">>It is currently set to the “$leverRightLeft” position.<</if>> The 4 rounds buttons are each a different color: Fuchsia, Mauve, Magenta, and Violet. None of them have labels. <<if $leverRightRight is "Neutral">><<link[[Set the right lever to “Spikes.”|Move Lever Right Right]]>><<set $leverRightRight to "Spikes">><</link>> <<link[[Set the right lever to “Pillows.”|Move Lever Right Right]]>><<set $leverRightRight to "Pillows">><</link>><</if>><<if $leverRightRight is "Spikes">><<link[[Set the right lever to “Neutral.”|Move Lever Right Right]]>><<set $leverRightRight to "Neutral">><</link>> <<link[[Set the right lever to “Pillows.”|Move Lever Right Right]]>><<set $leverRightRight to "Pillows">><</link>><</if>><<if $leverRightRight is "Pillows">><<link[[Set the right lever to “Neutral.”|Move Lever Right Right]]>><<set $leverRightRight to "Neutral">><</link>> <<link[[Set the right lever to “Spikes.”|Move Lever Right Right]]>><<set $leverRightRight to "Spikes">><</link>><</if>> <<if $leverRightLeft is "Neutral">><<link[[Set the left lever to “Gas.”|Move Lever Right Left]]>><<set $leverRightLeft to "Gas">><</link>> <<link[[Set the left lever to “Energy.”|Move Lever Right Left]]>><<set $leverRightLeft to "Energy">><</link>><</if>><<if $leverRightLeft is "Gas">><<link[[Set the left lever to “Neutral.”|Move Lever Right Left]]>><<set $leverRightLeft to "Neutral">><</link>> <<link[[Set the left lever to “Energy.”|Move Lever Right Left]]>><<set $leverRightLeft to "Energy">><</link>><</if>><<if $leverRightLeft is "Energy">><<link[[Set the left lever to “Neutral.”|Move Lever Right Left]]>><<set $leverRightLeft to "Neutral">><</link>> <<link[[Set the left lever to “Gas.”|Move Lever Right Left]]>><<set $leverRightLeft to "Gas">><</link>><</if>> <<link[[Press the “Fuchsia” button.|Push Button Right]]>><<set $buttonColorRight to "Fuchsia">><<set $buttonPresses to $buttonPresses + 1>><</link>> <<link[[Press the “Mauve” button.|Push Button Right]]>><<set $buttonColorRight to "Mauve">><<set $buttonPresses to $buttonPresses + 1>><</link>> <<link[[Press the “Magenta” button.|Push Button Right]]>><<set $buttonColorRight to "Magenta">><<set $buttonPresses to $buttonPresses + 1>><</link>> <<link[[Press the “Violet” button.|Push Button Right]]>><<set $buttonColorRight to "Violet">><<set $buttonPresses to $buttonPresses + 1>><</link>> [[Inspect the door at the other end of the room.]] [[Return to the Foyer.|Proceed into the Arcane Sanctum.]]

You walk up to the door on the opposite end of the room, careful not to trip over anything (least of all, your own feet). It's a wooden door with a Brass Knob set into it. Reading the name-plate on the door you see the words "The Binary Room". [[Turn the knob and enter The Binary Room.]] [[Assault the door.|SanctumDoorPunch]] [[Investigate the panel on the right wall.]] [[Return to the Foyer.|Proceed into the Arcane Sanctum.]]

You enter into the dark room. <<set $envirodeath to $envirodeath +1>> Almost predictably, you trip over something (likely your own feet) and smash your head against the floor. You're not likely to get back up. [[YOU HAVE DIED. Turn back time?->previous()]]

<<set $binarynum to random(1,4)>> <<if $binarycount gte 30>>The Disembodied Voice has made a decision. "You know what? I am just going to solve this myself. Goodbye adventurer!" You are not sure how, but you keel over, quite dead. <<set $DVdeath to $DVdeath +1>> [[YOU HAVE DIED! Allow the Disembodied Voice to resurrect you?|Leave The Binary Room]] <<elseif $binarycount gte 26>>The Disembodied Voice says nothing. <<elseif $binarycount is 25>>The Disembodied Voice now sounds quite annoyed. It says: "Honestly, you're becoming quite annoying now." <<elseif $binarycount gte 20>>The Disembodied Voice is silent. It says: "..." <<elseif $binarycount is 19>>The Disembodied Voice's tone is deadpan. It says: "You don't need to keep saying "Yes" or "No", anymore. In fact, you can leave at any time..." <<elseif $binarycount is 18>><<if $binarychoice is "Yes." or $binarychoice is "Yes!">><<if $previousno2 is true and $previousno is true>>The Disembodied Voice sounds relieved! "You do?! That's so great. I have no idea why people care about heavy slabs of useless metal like this, but if they've got value for you, all the better! Anyway, here you go!" You're not sure how, but you feel 1 Lil Ol' Pouch o' Platinum materialize in your inventory!<<set $platinumtotal to $platinumtotal + 1>><<else>>The Disembodied Voice sounds perplexed. "Hmm..."<</if>> <<elseif $binarychoice is "No." or $binarychoice is "No!">>The Disembodied Voice seems annoyed. "Huh. Well, suit yourself. A little bit rude to turn down my gifts like that. Ah well. See you later!"<</if>> <<elseif $binarycount is 17>><<if $binarychoice is "Yes." or $binarychoice is "Yes!">><<if $previousno is true>>The Disembodied Voice sounds enthused! "You do?! That's so great. I have no idea why people care about heavy slabs of useless metal like this, but if they've got value for you, all the better! Anyway, here you go!" You're not sure how, but you feel 3 Big Ol' Bags o' Gold materialize in your inventory!<<set $goldtotal to $goldtotal + 3>><</if>><<if $previousno is false>>The Disembodied Voice sounds perplexed. "Uh..."<</if>><<elseif $binarychoice is "No." or $binarychoice is "No!">><<if $previousno is true>>The Disembodied Voice seems dejected. "Well that's a shame. The only other thing I have is this Lil Ol' Pouch o' Platinum. Do you want that instead?"<<set $previousno2 to true>><<else>>The Disembodied Voice sounds perplexed. "Uh..."<</if>><</if>> <<elseif $binarycount is 16>><<if $binarychoice is "Yes." or $binarychoice is "Yes!">>The Disembodied Voice sounds enthused! "You do?! That's so great. I have no idea why people care about heavy slabs of useless metal like this, but if they've got value for you, all the better! Anyway, here you go!" You're not sure how, but you feel 3 Big Ol' Bags o' Gold materialize in your inventory!<<set $goldtotal to $goldtotal + 3>><</if>><<if $binarychoice is "No." or $binarychoice is "No!">>The Disembodied Voice seems unenthused. "Yeah, I don't get the appeal either. I just took these 3 Big Ol' Bags o' Gold off of the corpse of an adventurer. Anyway, I have no use for them. Do you want them?"<<set $previousno to true>><</if>> <<elseif $binarycount is 15>>The Disembodied Voice's tone changes dramatically. Much more softly, it says: "Hey! Thank you so much for spending so much time chatting with me! Nobody ever spends more than an hour or so in here with me, but you've been here at least 12! You know, I feel like you deserve a gift or something for keeping me company so long. Do you like Big Ol' Bags o' Gold?" <<elseif $binarycount lte 14>><<if $binaryroom lte 0>>You enter into "The Binary Room". The door shuts behind you and you find yourself in pitch blackness. You are greeted by a Disembodied Voice. In a deep tone capable of shaking foundations, it says: <<if $binarynum is 1>>"Yes."<</if>><<if $binarynum is 2>>"Yes!"<</if>><<if $binarynum is 3>>"No."<</if>><<if $binarynum is 4>>"No!"<</if>><<elseif $binaryroom gte 1>>The Disembodied Voice sternly replies to your "$binarychoice" with: <<if $binarynum is 1>>"Yes."<</if>><<if $binarynum is 2>>"Yes!"<</if>><<if $binarynum is 3>>"No."<</if>><<if $binarynum is 4>>"No!"<</if>><</if>><</if>> <<if $binarycount lte 29>> <<link[[Yes.|Turn the knob and enter The Binary Room.]]>><<set $binarychoice to "Yes.">><<set $yescount to $yescount +1>><<set $binarycount to $binarycount +1>><</link>> <<link[[Yes!|Turn the knob and enter The Binary Room.]]>><<set $binarychoice to "Yes!">><<set $yescount to $yescount +1>><<set $binarycount to $binarycount +1>><</link>> <<link[[No.|Turn the knob and enter The Binary Room.]]>><<set $binarychoice to "No.">><<set $nocount to $nocount +1>><<set $binarycount to $binarycount +1>><</link>> <<link[[No!|Turn the knob and enter The Binary Room.]]>><<set $binarychoice to "No!">><<set $nocount to $nocount +1>><<set $binarycount to $binarycount +1>><</link>> [[Leave The Binary Room]]<<set $binaryroom to $binaryroom + 1>><</if>>

You find yourself standing outside of The Binary Room. You have no idea how long you were inside, but you have lost all sense of time. Hours or days may have passed. Perhaps only minutes? Probably best not to think about it. <<if $binarycount gte 30>> The door is tightly shut and doesn't look like it will open again anytime soon. In fact, a sticky note on the door says "Go away, Adventurer!"<</if>> <<if $binarycount lte 29>>[[Re-enter the Binary Room!|Turn the knob and enter The Binary Room.]] <</if>>[[Assault the door.|SanctumDoorPunch]] [[Investigate the panel on the right wall.]] [[Return to the Foyer|Proceed into the Arcane Sanctum.]]

You move the right lever to the “$leverRightRight” position. You hear some muffled and quiet shuffling of machinery, but otherwise, you are unsure that anything happened. <<if $leverRightRight is "Neutral">><<link[[Set the right lever to “Spikes.”|Move Lever Right Right]]>><<set $leverRightRight to "Spikes">><</link>> <<link[[Set the right lever to “Pillows.”|Move Lever Right Right]]>><<set $leverRightRight to "Pillows">><</link>><</if>><<if $leverRightRight is "Spikes">><<link[[Set the right lever to “Neutral.”|Move Lever Right Right]]>><<set $leverRightRight to "Neutral">><</link>> <<link[[Set the right lever to “Pillows.”|Move Lever Right Right]]>><<set $leverRightRight to "Pillows">><</link>><</if>><<if $leverRightRight is "Pillows">><<link[[Set the right lever to “Neutral.”|Move Lever Right Right]]>><<set $leverRightRight to "Neutral">><</link>> <<link[[Set the right lever to “Spikes.”|Move Lever Right Right]]>><<set $leverRightRight to "Spikes">><</link>><</if>> <<if $leverRightLeft is "Neutral">><<link[[Set the left lever to “Gas.”|Move Lever Right Left]]>><<set $leverRightLeft to "Gas">><</link>> <<link[[Set the left lever to “Energy.”|Move Lever Right Left]]>><<set $leverRightLeft to "Energy">><</link>><</if>><<if $leverRightLeft is "Gas">><<link[[Set the left lever to “Neutral.”|Move Lever Right Left]]>><<set $leverRightLeft to "Neutral">><</link>> <<link[[Set the left lever to “Energy.”|Move Lever Right Left]]>><<set $leverRightLeft to "Energy">><</link>><</if>><<if $leverRightLeft is "Energy">><<link[[Set the left lever to “Neutral.”|Move Lever Right Left]]>><<set $leverRightLeft to "Neutral">><</link>> <<link[[Set the left lever to “Gas.”|Move Lever Right Left]]>><<set $leverRightLeft to "Gas">><</link>><</if>> <<link[[Press the “Fuchsia” button.|Push Button Right]]>><<set $buttonColorRight to "Fuchsia">><<set $buttonPresses to $buttonPresses + 1>><</link>> <<link[[Press the “Mauve” button.|Push Button Right]]>><<set $buttonColorRight to "Mauve">><<set $buttonPresses to $buttonPresses + 1>><</link>> <<link[[Press the “Magenta” button.|Push Button Right]]>><<set $buttonColorRight to "Magenta">><<set $buttonPresses to $buttonPresses + 1>><</link>> <<link[[Press the “Violet” button.|Push Button Right]]>><<set $buttonColorRight to "Violet">><<set $buttonPresses to $buttonPresses + 1>><</link>> [[Inspect the door at the other end of the room.]] [[Return to the Foyer.|Proceed into the Arcane Sanctum.]]

You move the left lever to the “$leverRightLeft” position. You hear a hissing noise and a brief crackling sound, but otherwise, you are unsure that anything happened. <<if $leverRightRight is "Neutral">><<link[[Set the right lever to “Spikes.”|Move Lever Right Right]]>><<set $leverRightRight to "Spikes">><</link>> <<link[[Set the right lever to “Pillows.”|Move Lever Right Right]]>><<set $leverRightRight to "Pillows">><</link>><</if>><<if $leverRightRight is "Spikes">><<link[[Set the right lever to “Neutral.”|Move Lever Right Right]]>><<set $leverRightRight to "Neutral">><</link>> <<link[[Set the right lever to “Pillows.”|Move Lever Right Right]]>><<set $leverRightRight to "Pillows">><</link>><</if>><<if $leverRightRight is "Pillows">><<link[[Set the right lever to “Neutral.”|Move Lever Right Right]]>><<set $leverRightRight to "Neutral">><</link>> <<link[[Set the right lever to “Spikes.”|Move Lever Right Right]]>><<set $leverRightRight to "Spikes">><</link>><</if>> <<if $leverRightLeft is "Neutral">><<link[[Set the left lever to “Gas.”|Move Lever Right Left]]>><<set $leverRightLeft to "Gas">><</link>> <<link[[Set the left lever to “Energy.”|Move Lever Right Left]]>><<set $leverRightLeft to "Energy">><</link>><</if>><<if $leverRightLeft is "Gas">><<link[[Set the left lever to “Neutral.”|Move Lever Right Left]]>><<set $leverRightLeft to "Neutral">><</link>> <<link[[Set the left lever to “Energy.”|Move Lever Right Left]]>><<set $leverRightLeft to "Energy">><</link>><</if>><<if $leverRightLeft is "Energy">><<link[[Set the left lever to “Neutral.”|Move Lever Right Left]]>><<set $leverRightLeft to "Neutral">><</link>> <<link[[Set the left lever to “Gas.”|Move Lever Right Left]]>><<set $leverRightLeft to "Gas">><</link>><</if>> <<link[[Press the “Fuchsia” button.|Push Button Right]]>><<set $buttonColorRight to "Fuchsia">><<set $buttonPresses to $buttonPresses + 1>><</link>> <<link[[Press the “Mauve” button.|Push Button Right]]>><<set $buttonColorRight to "Mauve">><<set $buttonPresses to $buttonPresses + 1>><</link>> <<link[[Press the “Magenta” button.|Push Button Right]]>><<set $buttonColorRight to "Magenta">><<set $buttonPresses to $buttonPresses + 1>><</link>> <<link[[Press the “Violet” button.|Push Button Right]]>><<set $buttonColorRight to "Violet">><<set $buttonPresses to $buttonPresses + 1>><</link>> [[Inspect the door at the other end of the room.]] [[Return to the Foyer.|Proceed into the Arcane Sanctum.]]

You push the $buttonColorRight button. As far as you can tell, nothing has happened, aside from the button glowing a bright $buttonColorRight. <<if $leverRightRight is "Neutral">><<link[[Set the right lever to “Spikes.”|Move Lever Right Right]]>><<set $leverRightRight to "Spikes">><</link>> <<link[[Set the right lever to “Pillows.”|Move Lever Right Right]]>><<set $leverRightRight to "Pillows">><</link>><</if>><<if $leverRightRight is "Spikes">><<link[[Set the right lever to “Neutral.”|Move Lever Right Right]]>><<set $leverRightRight to "Neutral">><</link>> <<link[[Set the right lever to “Pillows.”|Move Lever Right Right]]>><<set $leverRightRight to "Pillows">><</link>><</if>><<if $leverRightRight is "Pillows">><<link[[Set the right lever to “Neutral.”|Move Lever Right Right]]>><<set $leverRightRight to "Neutral">><</link>> <<link[[Set the right lever to “Spikes.”|Move Lever Right Right]]>><<set $leverRightRight to "Spikes">><</link>><</if>> <<if $leverRightLeft is "Neutral">><<link[[Set the left lever to “Gas.”|Move Lever Right Left]]>><<set $leverRightLeft to "Gas">><</link>> <<link[[Set the left lever to “Energy.”|Move Lever Right Left]]>><<set $leverRightLeft to "Energy">><</link>><</if>><<if $leverRightLeft is "Gas">><<link[[Set the left lever to “Neutral.”|Move Lever Right Left]]>><<set $leverRightLeft to "Neutral">><</link>> <<link[[Set the left lever to “Energy.”|Move Lever Right Left]]>><<set $leverRightLeft to "Energy">><</link>><</if>><<if $leverRightLeft is "Energy">><<link[[Set the left lever to “Neutral.”|Move Lever Right Left]]>><<set $leverRightLeft to "Neutral">><</link>> <<link[[Set the left lever to “Gas.”|Move Lever Right Left]]>><<set $leverRightLeft to "Gas">><</link>><</if>> <<link[[Press the “Fuchsia” button.|Push Button Right]]>><<set $buttonColorRight to "Fuchsia">><<set $buttonPresses to $buttonPresses + 1>><</link>> <<link[[Press the “Mauve” button.|Push Button Right]]>><<set $buttonColorRight to "Mauve">><<set $buttonPresses to $buttonPresses + 1>><</link>> <<link[[Press the “Magenta” button.|Push Button Right]]>><<set $buttonColorRight to "Magenta">><<set $buttonPresses to $buttonPresses + 1>><</link>> <<link[[Press the “Violet” button.|Push Button Right]]>><<set $buttonColorRight to "Violet">><<set $buttonPresses to $buttonPresses + 1>><</link>> [[Inspect the door at the other end of the room.]] [[Return to the Foyer.|Proceed into the Arcane Sanctum.]]

You investigate the panel on the far wall. <<if $leverRightLeft is "Energy">>You hear a faint humming sound coming from the panel<<if $washere1 gte 1>> that you didn’t hear previously<</if>><</if>>. <<if $leverLeftRoom is "Neutral">>The sole lever on this panel is set into the Neutral position between the words “Open” at the top, and “Closed” at the bottom. <<set $washere1 to $washere1 + 1>><<else>>The sole lever on this panel is set into the $leverLeftRoom position.<</if>> <<if $leverLeftRoom is "Neutral">><<link[[Set the lever to “Open.”|Move Lever Left Room]]>><<set $leverLeftRoom to "Open">><</link>> <<link[[Set the lever to “Closed.”|Move Lever Left Room]]>><<set $leverLeftRoom to "Closed">><</link>><</if>><<if $leverLeftRoom is "Open">><<link[[Set the lever to “Neutral.”|Move Lever Left Room]]>><<set $leverLeftRoom to "Neutral">><</link>> <<link[[Set the lever to “Closed.”|Move Lever Left Room]]>><<set $leverLeftRoom to "Closed">><</link>><</if>><<if $leverLeftRoom is "Closed">><<link[[Set the lever to “Neutral.”|Move Lever Left Room]]>><<set $leverLeftRoom to "Neutral">><</link>> <<link[[Set the lever to “Open.”|Move Lever Left Room]]>><<set $leverLeftRoom to "Open">><</link>> <</if>> <<if $hasWaffles is false>>[[Visit the caged corgi!]] <</if>>[[Return to the Foyer.|Proceed into the Arcane Sanctum.]]

<<if visitedTags("metwaffes") lte 1>><<set $metwaffles to $metwaffles + 1>><</if>>You visit the caged corgi. It looks at you with smiling eyes, panting with his tongue lazily hanging out of its mouth. The small animal is wearing a smaller shock of red cloth around its neck and across its back. It almost seems to resemble a cape. <<if $hasWaffles is false>>[[Pet the animal.]] [[Release the animal from the cage.]] [[Talk to the animal.]] <</if>><<if $hasESsack is true>>[[Take the cage and put it in your Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack.]] <</if>>[[Investigate the panel on the far wall.]] [[Return to the Foyer.|Proceed into the Arcane Sanctum.]]

You enter the pitch dark room. <<set $envirodeath to $envirodeath +1>> Without fail, something in the dark rips you apart with blazing speed. Impressive. [[YOU HAVE DIED. Turn back time?->previous()]]

<<if $leverRightLeft is "Energy">>You move the lever to the “$leverLeftRoom” position. The lever groans as your move it, and it settles into position with a “clunk”. You hear what sounds like stones moving, but you’re unsure of from where. <<if $leverLeftRoom is "Neutral">><<link[[Set the lever to “Open.”|Move Lever Left Room]]>><<set $leverLeftRoom to "Open">><</link>> <<link[[Set the lever to “Closed.”|Move Lever Left Room]]>><<set $leverLeftRoom to "Closed">><</link>><</if>><<if $leverLeftRoom is "Open">><<link[[Set the lever to “Neutral.”|Move Lever Left Room]]>><<set $leverLeftRoom to "Neutral">><</link>> <<link[[Set the lever to “Closed.”|Move Lever Left Room]]>><<set $leverLeftRoom to "Closed">><</link>><</if>><<if $leverLeftRoom is "Closed">><<link[[Set the lever to “Neutral.”|Move Lever Left Room]]>><<set $leverLeftRoom to "Neutral">><</link>> <<link[[Set the lever to “Open.”|Move Lever Left Room]]>><<set $leverLeftRoom to "Open">><</link>><</if>> <<if $hasWaffles is false>>[[Visit the caged corgi!]] <</if>>[[Return to the Foyer|Proceed into the Arcane Sanctum.]] <<else>>The lever refuses to move. It looks as if whatever was powering this panel currently is not. <<if $hasWaffles is false>>[[Visit the caged corgi!]] <</if>>[[Return to the Foyer.|Proceed into the Arcane Sanctum.]] <</if>>

You reach your hand into the cage and attempt to pet the corgi. It happily nuzzles its head into the palm of your hand. It is...absolutely adorable. <<if $hasWaffles is false>>[[Release the animal from the cage.]] [[Talk to the animal.]] <</if>><<if $hasESsack is true>>[[Take the cage and put it in your Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack.]] <</if>>[[Investigate the panel on the far wall.]] [[Return to the Foyer.|Proceed into the Arcane Sanctum.]]

You open the door to the cage and motion for the dog to come out. <<set $wafflescageopen to true>> The dog walks just outside of the cage and looks up at you. A medallion hanging from the clasp of the red cape says <<set $wafflesNames to true>>“Waffles”. After a moment, Waffles returns to its cage, waiting for you to close the door. <<if $hasWaffles is false>>[[Pet the animal.]] [[Talk to the animal.]] <</if>><<if $hasESsack is true>>[[Take the cage and put it in your Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack.]] <</if>>[[Investigate the panel on the far wall.]] [[Return to the Foyer.|Proceed into the Arcane Sanctum.]]

You try talking to the animal. It tilts its head at you slightly, seemingly unable to understand your language. <<if $hasWaffles is false>>[[Pet the animal.]] [[Release the animal from the cage.]] <</if>><<if $hasESsack is true>>[[Take the cage and put it in your Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack.]] <</if>>[[Investigate the panel on the far wall.]] [[Return to the Foyer.|Proceed into the Arcane Sanctum.]]

You consider putting the dog, cage and all, into your Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack. You look at your sack and guess that it probably has air inside. You show the bag to the dog, which then cocks its head to the side, and looks back up at you. Taking that as approval, you<<if $wafflescageopen is true>> close and latch the cage door and then <<set $wafflescageopen to false>><</if>>lower the cage into your sack. The dog yelps once, happily, before disappearing into your bag. <<set $hasWaffles to true>><<pickup '$inventory' unique '[[Waffles the Corgi]]'>> [[Investigate the panel on the far wall.]] [[Return to the Foyer.|Proceed into the Arcane Sanctum.]]

You lift the cage of <<if $wafflesName is true>> Waffles the Corgi<<else>>the dog<</if>> out of your Environmentally-Safe Reusable Extradimensional Sack. It seems completely unphased and unharmed after the time spent in the sack. It's still adorable. <<if $wafflesName is false>>[[Check the medallion on the dog's collar]] <</if>>[[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]

<<if $leverLeftRoom is "Open">>You turn the delightfully-shaped gemstone handle on the door and... ...it opens! In the room beyond you see a gaudy spiral staircase, just begging you to climb it. [[Climb the Spiral Staircase.]] <<else>>You turn the delightfully-shaped gemstone handle on the door and... ...a trap door opens beneath your feet and your fall in! [[Fall in!]] <</if>>

You climb the spiral staircase for what seems like hours, but probably were only minutes. You emerge on a landing, well-lit by sunlight filtering in through translucent patches of Conjure Ore. The physical properties of this mineral make no sense to you, and are completely mind-boggling. Shaking your head and clearing the thought from your mind, you take in your surroundings. The room serves as a laboratory of sorts. There is an alchemical workbench with an elegantly dissheveled mess of papers and lab equipment spread across its surface. A quarter of the way around the circular platform sit five cages, one of which houses a petite woman sporting short, chestnut colored hair. She appears to be asleep. The spiral staircase continues further and further up. [[Assess the alchemical workbench.]] <<if $EnikyDead is false and $EnikyFreed is false>>[[Consider the caged woman.]] <</if>>[[Climb the spiral staircase further up.]]

You fall through the trap door! <<if $leverRightRight is "Spikes">>You are impaled by something suitably sharp. Spiky, even.<<set $envirodeath to $envirodeath +1>> [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?|$return]] <<else>><<if $leverRightRight is "Pillows">>You land on a pile of something very soft and feathery. Almost like pillows!<</if>><<if $leverRightRight is "Neutral">>You smash into a hard stone floor! It is a miracle you didnt't break your neck! <<set $exhaustion to $exhaustion +1>><</if>> <<if $ptorchon is true>><<if $leverRightLeft is "Gas">>Almost immediately after you recognize the scent of gas, your lit torch flares and the room explodes in an epic fireball!<<set $envirodeath to $envirodeath + 1>> [[YOU HAVE DIED! Turn back time?|$return]] <<else>>The room is naturally lightless, but your lit torch sheds light on the small room. It appears to be a trap, obviously, with only one way out, a stone door off to the side. [[Open the stone door.|Approach the door at the base of the stairs.]]<</if>> <<elseif $hasCOreChunk is true>>The room is naturally lightless, but your glowing chunk of Conjure Ore throws its purple brilliance over the room, allowing you to get a decent look. It appears to be a trap, obviously, with only one way out, a stone door off to the side. [[Open the stone door.|Approach the door at the base of the stairs.]]<</if>><<if $ptorchon is false and $hasCOreChunk is false>>You are surrounded by an inky blackness with no hope of finding your way out. <<link[[Give up and die, then turn back time?|$return]]>><<set $envirodeath to $envirodeath +1>><</link>> <<if $hasTorch is true>>[[Check your Inventory for something to help?|Check Equipment]]<</if>><</if>><</if>>

You examine the medallion on the dog's collar. it reads "Waffles".<<set $wafflesName to true>> [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]

<<if previous() is "Pick up the prescription medication bottle.">>You set the prescription medication bottle back down and gaze down at the workbench again.<<elseif previous() is "Grab the key ring.">>You scan the objects upon the workbench.<<else>>You walk to the alchemical workbench and scan the objects upon it.<</if>> Several sheets of paper detailing various applications of Conjure Ore and some type of machine make up the bulk of the mess. There are writing implements, scales, and vials contributing to the rest of the clutter. <<if $hasKeyRing is false and $hasDysenteryMeds is false>>You also see a key ring with five brass keys dangling from it, and a tiny bottle that resembles a tube for prescription medication.<<else>><<if $hasKeyRing is true>>There is also a ring of five brass keys sitting on the bench.<</if>><<if $hasDysenteryMeds is true>>There is also a tiny bottle that resembles a tube of prescription medication lying on its side.<</if>><</if>> <<if $hasKeyRing is false>>[[Grab the key ring.]] <</if>><<if $hasDysenteryMeds is false>>[[Pick up the prescription medication bottle.]] <</if>><<if $EnikyDead is false and $EnikyFreed is false>>[[Consider the caged woman.]] <</if>><<if hasVisited("Unlockcage")>>[[Tell Eniky: “Let’s go confront Lord Aether!”|“Yes, and I think you should come with me!”]] [[Tell Eniky: “I’m going to confront Lord Aether, but you should get out of here!”|“Yes, but you should probably get out of her beforehand.”]] <</if>> [[Climb the spiral staircase further up.]]

You stroll over to the woman in the cage and she wakes upon your approach. She looks at you with deep brown eyes, matching her chestnut-colored hair, as she climbs to her feet. “You’re not Lord Aether!” she exclaims. “Could you please let me out of here? I think there is a key sitting on that table over there!” <<if not hasVisited("Who are you? purfani")>>[[“Who are you?”|Who are you? purfani]] <</if>><<if not hasVisited("Why are you in a cage? purfani")>>[[“Why are you in a cage?”|Why are you in a cage? purfani]] <</if>><<if $hasKeyRing is true>>[[“Actually, I have the ring of keys already.”|Actually, I have the ring of keys already.]] <</if>><<if hasVisited("Unlockcage")>>[[“Let’s go confront Lord Aether!”|“Yes, and I think you should come with me!”]] [[“I’m going to confront Lord Aether, but you should get out of here!”|“Yes, but you should probably get out of her beforehand.”]] <</if>>[[Assess the alchemical workbench.]] <<link[[Leave the woman in the cage.|Climb the spiral staircase further up.]]>><<set $EnikyAnger to $EnikyAnger + 1>><</link>>

You climb up the spiral staircase, toward uncertainty and looming danger! [[Proceed...|Construction]]

You grab the key ring from the workbench. The five brass keys jingle as you place them in your $bagtype.<<pickup '$inventory' unique '[[Ring of Brass Keys]]'>><<set $hasKeyRing to true>> <<if $hasDysenteryMeds is false>>[[Pick up the prescription medication bottle.]] <</if>><<if $EnikyDead is false or $EnikyFreed is false>>[[Consider the caged woman.]] <</if>>[[Climb the spiral staircase further up.]]

You pick up the prescription medication bottle. <<set $seenDMeds to true>> It has one pill inside the bottle. A small notecard attached to it by a small string reads: <center>"Experimental cure for Rapid-Onset Dysentery: Attempt #661"</center> Sounds handy. [[Take the bottle.|Take dysentery bottle]] [[Put the bottle back down.|Assess the alchemical workbench.]]

<<pickup '$inventory' unique '[[Bottle of Dysentery Medication]]'>><<set $hasDysenteryMeds to true>>You take the Bottle of Dystentery Medication and put it in your $bagtype. Maybe you'll find a use for it? [[View the Bottle of Dysentery Medication in your inventory.|Bottle of Dysentery Medication]] <<if $hasKeyRing is false>>[[Grab the key ring.]] <</if>><<if $EnikyDead is false or $EnikyFreed is false>>[[Consider the caged woman.]] <</if>>[[Climb the spiral staircase further up.]]

A bottle of Experimental Dysentery Medication. This is apparently attempt #661, according to the attached note. <<if $pillGone is false>>There is only one pill inside the bottle.<<else>>It is decidedly empty.<</if>> [[Swallow the pill!]] [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]

You swallow the Experimental Dystentery Pill. It goes down smoothly, and tastelessly. As far as you can tell, nothing else happened. <<set $pillGone to true>> [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]

<<if $pillGone is true>>You swallow the pill. Immediately, you feel better! How lucky for you that attempt #661 isn't a failure! [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]] <<else>>You decide to try to beat out the dysentery naturally. You don't beat it. [[YOU HAVE DIED OF RAPID-ONSET DYSENTERY! Turn back time?|Full Canteen]]<</if>>

A Ring of Brass Keys that likely unlocks something nearby. You're unsure if the ring itself is also brass. [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]

You ask the caged woman who she is. She cocks her head at you, surprised at the question. “You can call me Eniky, if you’d like. <<if $hasEniky is false>>Can you let me out of this cage now, please?<</if>>” <<if not hasVisited("Where are you from? purfani")>>[[“Where are you from?”|Where are you from? purfani]] <</if>><<if not hasVisited("Why are you in a cage? purfani")>>[[“Why are you in a cage?”|Why are you in a cage? purfani]] <</if>><<if $hasKeyRing is true>>[[“Well, I do have this ring of keys...”|Actually, I have the ring of keys already.]] <</if>><<if hasVisited("Unlockcage")>>[[“Let’s go confront Lord Aether!”|“Yes, and I think you should come with me!”]] [[“I’m going to confront Lord Aether, but you should get out of here!”|“Yes, but you should probably get out of her beforehand.”]] <</if>>[[Assess the alchemical workbench.]] <<link[[Leave the woman in the cage.|Climb the spiral staircase further up.]]>><<set $EnikyAnger to $EnikyAnger + 1>><</link>>

You ask <<if $EnikyName is false>>the caged woman<<else>>Eniky<</if>> why she <<if $hasEniky is true>>was<<else>>is<</if>> locked in a cage. She thinks for a moment, then states: “I can’t be totally sure, but I have heard Lord Aether say, ‘I am going to sacrifice you to make my spell work!’ over and over as he paced around my cage. You can draw your own conclusions from there, I’d think.” <<if not hasVisited("Who are you? purfani")>>[[“Who are you?”|Who are you? purfani]] <</if>><<if $hasKeyRing is true>>[[“Actually, I have the ring of keys already.”|Actually, I have the ring of keys already.]] <</if>><<if hasVisited("Unlockcage")>>[[“Let’s go confront Lord Aether!”|“Yes, and I think you should come with me!”]] [[“I’m going to confront Lord Aether, but you should get out of here!”|“Yes, but you should probably get out of her beforehand.”]] <</if>>[[Assess the alchemical workbench.]] <<link[[Leave the woman in the cage.|Climb the spiral staircase further up.]]>><<set $EnikyAnger to $EnikyAnger + 1>><</link>>

You pull out your ring of brass keys and show them to <<if $EnikyName is false>>the caged woman<<else>>Eniky<</if>>. “Yes! Those are the keys! One of those will open my cage, for sure! Please let me out?” [[“Okay, sure.” (Unlock the cage)|Unlockcage]] [[“Before I let you out, I want you to do something for me.”]] <<if not hasVisited("Who are you? purfani")>>[[“Who are you?”|Who are you? purfani]] <</if>><<if not hasVisited("Why are you in a cage? purfani")>>[[“Why are you in a cage?”|Why are you in a cage? purfani]] <</if>>[[Assess the alchemical workbench.]] <<link[[Leave the woman in the cage.|Climb the spiral staircase further up.]]>><<set $EnikyAnger to $EnikyAnger + 1>><</link>>

You ask <<if $EnikyName is false>>the caged woman<<else>>Eniky<</if>> where she is from. She gives a flat, exasperated look at you before sighing, then answering: ”I come from a hamlet due south of here, known as Fairfield, but you may know it by its other names. Previously it was a village named Goodgardens, and prior to that, a town called Greatgrasslands. I am told that sometime in its history they called it Pristinepastures. She shrugs. “Recession, you know?” [[“So you’re not from Purfani?”|So you’re not from Purfani?]] <<if not hasVisited("Who are you? purfani")>>[[“Who are you?”|Who are you? purfani]] <</if>><<if not hasVisited("Why are you in a cage? purfani")>>[[“Why are you in a cage?”|Why are you in a cage? purfani]] <</if>><<if $hasKeyRing is true>>[[“Well, I do have this ring of keys...”|Actually, I have the ring of keys already.]] <</if>><<if hasVisited("Unlockcage")>>[[“Let’s go confront Lord Aether!”|“Yes, and I think you should come with me!”]] [[“I’m going to confront Lord Aether, but you should get out of here!”|“Yes, but you should probably get out of her beforehand.”]] <</if>>[[Assess the alchemical workbench.]] <<link[[Leave the woman in the cage.|Climb the spiral staircase further up.]]>><<set $EnikyAnger to $EnikyAnger + 1>><</link>>

You ask <<if $EnikyName is false>>the caged woman<<else>>Eniky<</if>> to confirm she is not from Purfani, even though she just told you she wasn't. “Really? I just told you I wasn't.” She says, poorly veiling her annoyance. “I was just passing through here on my way to a convention when Lord Aether snatched me up. There were 4 other people locked up here, too, but he took them upstairs one-by-one and they’ve never come back.” That can’t be good. <<if not hasVisited("Who are you? purfani")>>[[“Who are you?”|Who are you? purfani]] <</if>><<if not hasVisited("Why are you in a cage? purfani")>>[[“Why are you in a cage?”|Why are you in a cage? purfani]] <</if>><<if $hasKeyRing is true>>[[“Well, I do have this ring of keys...”|Actually, I have the ring of keys already.]] <</if>><<if hasVisited("Unlockcage")>>[[“Let’s go confront Lord Aether!”|“Yes, and I think you should come with me!”]] [[“I’m going to confront Lord Aether, but you should get out of here!”|“Yes, but you should probably get out of her beforehand.”]] <</if>>[[Assess the alchemical workbench.]] <<link[[Leave the woman in the cage.|Climb the spiral staircase further up.]]>><<set $EnikyAnger to $EnikyAnger + 1>><</link>>

You try out each of the keys on the lock of the cage. Finally, the last key (it’s always the last one) unlocks it. The door swings open. <<set $EnikyFreed to true>> “Thank you so much! I thought I might die in there.<<if $EnikyName is false>> You can call me Eniky.<<set $EnikyName to true>><</if>> Hey, why are you in this place anyway?” [[“I am here to help the citizens of Purfani!”]] [[“I was sent here by a weird guy on a mountain.”]] [[“I really don’t know.”]] [[“I don’t feel like telling you that.”]]

You tell her that you won’t let her out of the cage until she does something for you… She looks shocked. “I… beg your pardon? What can I possibly do for you from this cage?” <<if $canteenfull is true>>[[“Just take a drink from this Canteen.”]] <</if>><<if $hasDysenteryMeds is true>><<if $pillGone is false>>[[“Please swallow this Experimental Dysentery Medication.”]] <</if>><</if>><<if $hasClosingTome is true>>[[“Open this book for me.”]] <</if>><<if $hasRake is true and $rakeashes is false>>[[“Try using this rake.”]] <</if>><<if $hasHoodie is true>>[[“Put on this hoodie.”]] <</if>>[[“Actually, I'll let you out now.”|Unlockcage]] [[Leave her in the cage.]]

You tell her that you’re here to help the citizens of Purfani! She raises her eyebrows. “That’s a noble goal. You came to Purfani from wherever you’re from just to help people out?” She nods. “Alright then, are you planning to go after Lord Aether now?” [[“Yes, and I think you should come with me!”]] [[“Yes, but you should probably get out of her beforehand.”]] [[Assess the alchemical workbench.]]

You tell her that you were sent here by a weird guy with a unicorn on a mountain summit. She pauses for 30 seconds before saying: “…O...kay…” She considers you again for a moment, then says, “Alright then, are you planning to go after Lord Aether now?” [[“Yes, and I think you should come with me!”]] [[“Yes, but you should probably get out of her beforehand.”]] [[Assess the alchemical workbench.]]

You tell her that you have no idea why you are here! <<set $EnikyAnger to $EnikyAnger + 1>> She seems stunned, then furrows her brow. “You just showed up here, but don’t know why? That seems dangerously irresponsible, at best.” She shakes her head. “Alright then, are you planning to go after Lord Aether now?” [[“Yes, and I think you should come with me!”]] [[“Yes, but you should probably get out of her beforehand.”]] [[Assess the alchemical workbench.]]

You state that you don’t feel like telling her why you’re here! <<set $EnikyAnger to $EnikyAnger + 1>> She is taken aback. “That is just incredibly rude. Wow.” She shakes her head. “Alright then, are you planning to go after Lord Aether now?” [[“Yes, and I think you should come with me!”]] [[“Yes, but you should probably get out of her beforehand.”]] [[Assess the alchemical workbench.]]

You tell Eniky that she should come with you to face Lord Aether. “Erm, really?” She asks. “I suppose I do have a little more experience with him than you do.” She considers something for a moment before saying, “Can you at least give me a weapon before we proceed?” [[“Hmm. No.”]] <<if $hasBow is true>><<link[[“Okay, you can use my bow.”]]>><<set $EnikyBow to true>><<set $hasBow to false>><</link>> <</if>><<if $hasSword is true>><<set $hasSword to false>><<link[[“Alright, take my sword.”]]>><<set $EnikySword to true>><</link>> <</if>><<if $hasShield is true>><<set $hasShield to false>><<link[[“How about a shield instead?”]]>><<set $EnikyShield to true>><</link>> <</if>>

You tell Eniky that she should probably leave the Arcane Sanctum as you go to confront Lord Aether. She quickly agrees, “Don't have to tell me twice! Bye!” She hurries down the stairs and out of the Sanctum without a second thought.<<set $EnikyEscape to true>> [[Assess the alchemical workbench.]] [[Climb the spiral staircase further up.]]

You instruct her to take a drink from your Full Canteen, filled with water from the Nonbibemus River. <<set $EnikyAnger to $EnikyAnger + 1>> "That's a weird request, but I am fairly thirsty. Alright, give it here." You pass your canteen to <<if $EnikyName is false>>the caged woman<<else>>Eniky<</if>> through the bars. <<set $canteenfull to false>><<set $canteenempty to true>><<drop '$inventory' '[[Full Canteen]]'>><<pickup '$inventory' unique '[[Empty Canteen]]'>> <<if $EnikyName is false>>The caged woman<<else>>Eniky<</if>> up-ends and drains the canteen. Almost immediately, she begins sweating, and then collapses into a fetal position. <<if $EnikyPill is false>><<if $seenDMeds is true>><<if $hasDysenteryMeds is true>><<if $pillGone is false>>You instantly remember that you have some Experimental Dysentery Medication... [[Give the medication to the dying woman.]] [[Hang onto the medication for a rainy day.]] <<else>>It's too bad you no longer have that Experimental Dysentery Medication! She succumbs to Rapid-Onset Dysentery right before your eyes. It's not a pretty sight. But good work killing a defenseless person!<<set $EnikyDead to true>><<set $EnikyDeathMethod to "exposing her to Rapid-Onset Dystentery!">> [[Back away from the corpse in the cage.]]<</if>> <<else>>She succumbs to Rapid-Onset Dysentery right before your eyes. It's not a pretty sight. If only you had picked up the medication for Rapid-Onset Dysentery from the workbench! Regardless, good work killing a defenseless person!<<set $EnikyDead to true>><<set $EnikyDeathMethod to "exposing her to Rapid-Onset Dystentery!">> [[Back away from the corpse in the cage.]] <</if>> <<else>>She succumbs to Rapid-Onset Dysentery right before your eyes. It's not a pretty sight. If only you had some kind of medication for Rapid-Onset Dysentery! Regardless, good work killing a defenseless person!<<set $EnikyDead to true>><<set $EnikyDeathMethod to "exposing her to Rapid-Onset Dystentery!">> [[Back away from the corpse in the cage.]]<</if>> <<else>>She succumbs to Rapid-Onset Dysentery right before your eyes. It's not a pretty sight. It appears that the Experimental Dysentery Medication only works if taken AFTER contracting the disease. Oops. Regardless, good work killing a defenseless person!<<set $EnikyDead to true>><<set $EnikyDeathMethod to "exposing her to Rapid-Onset Dystentery!">> [[Back away from the corpse in the cage.]]<</if>>

You hand your Experimental Dysentery Medication to her through the cage bars. She eyes it, and you, warily. “If the only way you’ll let me out of this cage is to swallow this pill, then fine, I will do it.” <<set $EnikyAnger to $EnikyAnger + 1>> <<set $pillGone to true>><<set $EnikyPill to true>> She swallows the Experimental Dysentery Medication. After waiting a moment, she seems fine, as if nothing happened at all. “Will you let me out now?” <<if $canteenfull is true>>[[“Just take a drink from this Canteen.”]] <</if>><<if $hasClosingTome is true>>[[“Open this book for me.”]] <</if>><<if $hasRake is true>>[[“Try using this rake.”]] <</if>><<if $hasHoodie is true>>[[“Put on this hoodie.”]] <</if>>[[“Okay, I'll let you out now.”|Unlockcage]] [[Leave her in the cage.]]

<<set $hasClosingTome to false>><<drop '$inventory' '[[Tome of Closing]]'>><<if visitedTags("enikybook") lte 1>>You hand the Tome of Closing through the bars to her. She reads the title, and looks at you confusedly. “I just need to read some of this book? Seems easy enough, I like reading!” She opens the book and begins to read the first page before the book snaps shut! She is startled. The Tome seems to have increased slightly in size. [[“Try opening it again.”|“Open this book for me.”]] <<link[[“Actually, give that back and let’s do something else.”|“Before I let you out, I want you to do something for me.”]]>><<set $hasClosingTome to true>><<pickup '$inventory' unique '[[Tome of Closing]]'>><</link>><</if>><<if visitedTags("enikybook") is 2>>You instruct her to open the Tome of Closing again. She is wary, but she does as you say! The book snaps shut again, but luckily, she was able to get her fingers away fast enough! She fixes a glare at you. The Tome seems to have increased a bit more in size. [[“Open it again, please.”|“Open this book for me.”]] <<link[[“Actually, give that back and let’s do something else.”|“Before I let you out, I want you to do something for me.”]]>><<set $hasClosingTome to true>><<pickup '$inventory' unique '[[Tome of Closing]]'>><</link>><</if>><<if visitedTags("enikybook") is 3>><<set $EnikyAnger to $EnikyAnger + 1>>You request that she opens the book again. She stares daggers at you, defiance in her eyes. Eventually, she relents and cracks open the book. The Tome seems to have increased more in size. [[“Okay, just open it one more time, then you’re done!”|“Open this book for me.”]] <<link[[“Actually, give that back and let’s do something else.”|“Before I let you out, I want you to do something for me.”]]>><<set $hasClosingTome to true>><<pickup '$inventory' unique '[[Tome of Closing]]'>><</link>><</if>><<if visitedTags("enikybook") is 4>>You ask her to open the book once more. She replies: “Fine! But just this one more time, then you’ll let me out? Right?” You nod. She begins to open it, but before she can finish, the book grows tremendously in size! It opens up and swiftly snaps shut over her entire body! She struggles and struggles, but can't free herself from it! Eventually, she suffocates as the Tome swallows her whole, and then shrinks back to its normal book size. <<set $EnikyDead to true>><<set $EnikyDeathMethod to "feeding her to the Tome of Closing!">> [[Take back the Tome of Closing.]] [[Leave the Tome of Closing in the cage.]]<</if>>

<<set $hasRake to false>><<drop '$inventory' '[[Rake of Disintegration]]'>>You take the Rake of Disintigration out of the box and give it to <<if $EnikyName is false>>the caged woman<<else>>Eniky<</if>>. <<set $EnikyAnger to $EnikyAnger + 1>> She takes if from you and looks it over, then back to you. “What am I supposed to do with this? There's no leaves here for me to rake.” [[“Hold it and think very hard about disintegration.”]] [[]]<<link[[“Actually, give that back and let’s do something else.”|“Before I let you out, I want you to do something for me.”]]>><<set $hasRake to true>><<pickup '$inventory' unique '[[Rake of Disintegration]]'>><</link>>

You rustle through your $bagtype and find the Awful Band Hoodie. You scowl once more at the logo of the band before handing it to her through the cage. <<set $hasHoodie to false>><<drop '$inventory' '[[Awful Band Hoodie]]'>> She accepts it from you and looks it over. “Hey! I actually love this band! And this is exactly my size!” She puts it on and even smiles at you. “Wow, it's warm and comfy too!”<<set $EnikyAnger to $EnikyAnger - 2>><<set $EnikyHoodie to true>> For a moment, you consider leaving her in the cage. [[Leave her in the cage.]] <<if $canteenfull is true>>[[“Just take a drink from this Canteen.”]] <</if>><<if $hasDysenteryMeds is true>><<if $pillGone is false>>[[“Please swallow this Experimental Dysentery Medication.”]] <</if>><</if>><<if $hasClosingTome is true>>[[“Open this book for me.”]] <</if>><<if $hasRake is true and $rakeashes is false>>[[“Try using this rake.”]] <</if>><<if $hasHoodie is true>>[[“Put on this hoodie.”]] <</if>>[[“Actually, I'll let you out now.”|Unlockcage]]

You hand your Experimental Dysentery Medication to her through the cage bars. She shoves it in her mouth and swallows. The effect is instantaneous! She stands up, stops sweating and no longer looks in pain, although, she does look incredibly angry. <<set $EnikyAnger to $EnikyAnger + 1>> <<set $pillGone to true>><<set $EnikyPill to true>> <<if $hasClosingTome is true>>[[“Open this book for me.”]] <</if>><<if $hasRake is true>>[[“Try using this rake.”]] <</if>><<if $hasHoodie is true>>[[“Put on this hoodie.”]] <</if>>[[“Actually, I'll let you out now.”|Unlockcage]] [[Leave her in the cage.]]

You decide to hold on to your Experimental Dysentery Medication <<if $EnikyName is false>>The caged woman<<else>>Eniky<</if>> succumbs to Rapid-Onset Dysentery right before your eyes. It's not a pretty sight. But good work killing a defenseless person!<<set $EnikyDead to true>><<set $EnikyDeathMethod to "exposing her to Rapid-Onset Dystentery, and then refusing to give her the Experimental Dysentery Medication!">> [[Back away from the corpse in the cage.]]

You back away from the cage with the fresh corpse inside of it. [[Assess the alchemical workbench.]] [[Climb the spiral staircase further up.]]

<<set $hasClosingTome to true>><<pickup '$inventory' unique '[[Tome of Closing]]'>>You use a key to open the cage, and grab the Tome of Closing. Despite it's appetite being sated, it feels no heavier. [[Assess the alchemical workbench.]] [[Climb the spiral staircase further up.]]

<<set $hasClosingTome to false>><<drop '$inventory' '[[Tome of Closing]]'>>You decide it's probably best to leave the Tome of Closing in the cage... [[Assess the alchemical workbench.]] [[Climb the spiral staircase further up.]]

You instruct her to hold it and think very hard about disintegration. She is incredulous. “Come now, you can't be serious! I just have think about dis--” Her protestations are cut short as she colllapses into a pile of ashes on the floor. The rake clatters down next to her. Good news! The rake still works!<<set $EnikyDead to true>><<set $EnikyDeathMethod to "commanding her to use the Rake of Disintegration!">> [[Take back the Rake of Disintegration.]] [[Leave the Rake of Disintegration in the cage.]]

<<set $hasRake to true>><<pickup '$inventory' unique '[[Rake of Disintegration]]'>>You use a key to open the cage, and grab the Rake of Disintegration. it's a little dustier, but no worse for wear. [[Assess the alchemical workbench.]] [[Climb the spiral staircase further up.]]

<<set $hasRake to false>><<drop '$inventory' '[[Rake of Disintegration]]'>>You decide it's probably best to leave the Rake of Disintegration where it is, considering that it's covered in human dust now... [[Assess the alchemical workbench.]] [[Climb the spiral staircase further up.]]

You turn and walk away from <<if $EnikyName is false>>the caged woman<<else>>Eniky<</if>>, giving a casual wave as you go. “Hey, wait a minute!” She calls after you as you go. “Please let me out! Don’t leave me here!”<<set $EnikyLeft to true>> [[Ignore her and climb up the spiral staircase|Climb the spiral staircase further up.]] [[Go back to the cage.|“Before I let you out, I want you to do something for me.”]]

You get the feeling that this area is still under construction by the powers-that-be. <h2>[[YOU HAVE LIVED! View your score card?->Thanks for playing!]]</h2> OR <h2>[[Keep exploring!|previous()]]</h2>

You flatly deny her request. <<set $EnikyAnger to $EnikyAnger +1>> She hmphs at you. “Hmph!” You motion to the spiral staircase. [[Climb the spiral staircase further up.]]

You offer to let her use your $bowtype. She accepts it excitedly and plucks the string to test it out. <<drop '$equipmentInv' '[[$bowtype]]'>> She nods to you. "Okay! I am ready. Thumbs up, let's do this!" [[Climb the spiral staircase further up.]]

You offer to let her use your $swordtype. She accepts it excitedly swings it around to test it out. <<drop '$equipmentInv' '[[$swordtype]]'>> She nods to you. "Okay! I am ready. Thumbs up, let's do this!" [[Climb the spiral staircase further up.]]

You offer to let her use your $shieldtype. She accepts it and excitedly tests the weight and feel. She admires how shiny it is. <<drop '$equipmentInv' '[[$shieldtype]]'>> She nods to you. "Okay! I am ready. Thumbs up, let's do this!" [[Climb the spiral staircase further up.]]

<<if $notedanger is true>>You struggle to read the handwriting on the note, but eventually figure it out. It reads: ''//"LOOK OUT, IDIOT! THERE IS A MUCILAGINOUS SPHERE IN FRONT OF YOU!"//'' [[Look up.]] [[Re-read the note.]] <</if>><<if $notedanger is false>>You struggle to read the handwriting on the note, but eventually figure it out. It reads: ''//"LOOK OUT, IDIOT! THERE IS A MUCILAGINOUS SPHERE IN FRONT OF YOU!"//'' [[Check other items.|Check Items]] [[Return to your Inventory menu.|Inventory]]<</if>>

<<if $exhaustion is 0>>You currently feel completely refreshed, as if you just slept the whole night through...and maybe part of the next day as well! You don't think you'll need to sleep for quite some time!<</if>><<if $exhaustion is 1>>You are awake, as evidenced by the fact that you are not asleep. You may not be the freshest at the moment, but you can probably go a while before needing to sleep!<</if>><<if $exhaustion is 2>>Your energy is starting to wane a bit, but what did you expect? You've been exerting yourself! You don't need to stop to rest just yet, but you may want to start thinking about it.<</if>><<if $exhaustion is 3>>A hard day of adventuring has left you fatigued. A warm bed sounds brilliant right about now, but you can soldier on, if need be.<</if>><<if $exhaustion is 4>>You're exhausted. It feels like ages since you last laid down to rest. Pretty soon you can expect your depleted energy to start affecting you greatly. It's highly advised that you find a place to sleep as soon as possible!<</if>><<if $exhaustion is 5>>You've slipped past exhaustion and into delirium! A fatal mistake is not only possible, but probable. Find a cold floor to curl up on before you meet an untimely end!<</if>> [[Return to your adventure!|$return]]

[Return|$return]

<<if $totaldeath is 0>>You haven't died! Yet.<</if>><<if $totaldeath gte 1>><center><h2>''Deaths''</h2></center><ul> <center><<if $msdeath gte 1>><li>Deaths by Mucilaginous Sphere: <<print $msdeath>></li><</if>><<if $gatedeath gte 1>><li>Deaths by Gates/Doors: <<print $gatedeath>></li><</if>><<if $deathbytroll gte 1>><li>Deaths by Toll Troll: <<print $deathbytroll>></li><</if>><<if $banditdeath gte 1>><li>Deaths by Bandits: <<print $banditdeath>></li><</if>><<if $APdeath gte 1>><li>Deaths by Angry Prospector: <<print $APdeath>></li><</if>><<if $LSdeath gte 1>><li>Deaths by Land Shark: <<print $LSdeath>></li><</if>><<if $golemdeath gte 1>><li>Deaths by Tremor Golem: <<print $golemdeath>></li><</if>><<if $guarddeath gte 1>><li>Deaths by City Guards: <<print $guarddeath>></li><</if>><<if $newtdeath gte 1>><li>Deaths by Chaotic Newt: <<print $newtdeath>></li><</if>><<if $envirodeath gte 1>><li>Deaths by Environment: <<print $envirodeath>></li><</if>><<if $NPCdeath gte 1>><li>Deaths by Common Folk: <<print $NPCdeath>></li><</if>><<if $DMdeath gte 1>><li>Deaths by The DM: <<print $DMdeath>></li><</if>><<if $DVdeath gte 1>><li>Deaths by The Disembodied Voice: <<print $DVdeath>></li><</if>><<if $sleepdeath gte 1>><li>Deaths from Sleep Deprivation: <<print $sleepdeath>></li><</if>></center> <center>''Total Deaths:''''<<print $totaldeath>>''</center></ul><</if>> [[Return to your adventure!|$return]]

"Now hurry up and pass me that steel pipe!", Johnson says emphatically.

"$playername" is it? What an incredibly weird moniker! But who am I to judge, eh? "Salutations, $playername! Welcome to Sunshine Sparkle Summit! I let Para name the place, don't ask me why." He continues, "Feel free to ask me any //other// questions you like, though. I'm a master in the powers of exposition!" "[["Who are you?"->Who Davricle]]" <<if not hasVisited("Who Para")>>"[["Who is Para?"->Who Para]]"<</if>> "[[Why did you let Para name this place 'Sunshine Sparkle Summit'?]]"

So you're telling me that your name is "<<print $playername>>"? That's certainly an odd name, no offense meant, of course. Unless I mistook your meaning? <label>"Actually, my name is <<textbox "$playername" "Hey, you! With the face" autofocus>>!" </label><<button[[Click me if that looks right!|PlayerNameSet]]>><</button>>

You plop down on the floor and think about your actions and how you can be a better person. Nothing really crosses your mind. Oh well! [[Check the left room.]] [[Investigate the right room.]] [[Go back downstairs.|Look inside the rundown inn.]]